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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Why would he want me to smoke when I clearly don't want to???
Q. hey, im 16 and my boyfriend is 19. so he smokes pot and something else called buddha bud a lot. he says he doesnt do it that much but ive noticed that its a lot. he knows i dont like it. so last night we were texting and here is our ...
A. 5 December 2010: Maybe he feels guilty that he does it so much without you and thinks that if you just start too then you'll be doing it together and it won't be a big deal. But, that is no reason for you to start. You sound like a smartypants and he sounds like a ... (read in full...)
Is she being a tease and trying to play me and is she attracted to me?
Q. She seemed only interested in me when she introduced herself to me. She also rubbed her leg against mines as she asked me to sit next to her. She always smiles at me. She looks at me from across the street, tells me she hates it when peopl...
A. 5 December 2010: She certainly might like you! But, if she has a boyfriend that is the end of the story!! She's off limits until she's single. In the meantime, why not go for friendship? Good luck!... (read in full...)
I'm so confused about everything in my life and feel the clock ticking away!
Q. Hi, I'll keep this short. I just don't know what to do. I'm about to turn 30 next week and freaking out! I am pretty (although look 19 which I hate, as no one ever thinks I'm 30, so never get taken seriously) Anyway I'm single after 2 very bad...
A. 4 December 2010: You are not too old to do anything. Good gracious, sweet thing!! You're barely 30! You've got like, 60 more years to kick around. There's no rush... you are your own worst judge.
You should do what you love. Who cares what others think? I'm sure... (read in full...)
I'm broke and gaining weight! Help!
Q. so im just wondering if anyone has some tips on losing weight. i dont have the time or money to join a gym or classes, or buy exercise equipment for the home. i do crunches, lunges, squats and push ups at home as well as several other things every ...
A. 3 December 2010: What I do to keep in shape is totally and entirely free! In fact, I make money! I walk a dog for money, which gets me out twice a day for an hour long walk each time. I get a little extra pocket change, and it keeps me active!
Plus, I really l... (read in full...)
Do you love your man because he has money or educated or do you just love him?
Q. Hi everyone! I just wana ask the girls,do you love your bf beacause he has money or educated or do you love him from the bottom of your heart? I have a bf, his not educated he only have matric(grade 12) and he doesn't want to go to school forever, ...
A. 3 December 2010: *too old (I am the worst at proofreading). The whole thing is probably littered with mistakes, but that one was killing me.... (read in full...)
Do you love your man because he has money or educated or do you just love him?
Q. Hi everyone! I just wana ask the girls,do you love your bf beacause he has money or educated or do you love him from the bottom of your heart? I have a bf, his not educated he only have matric(grade 12) and he doesn't want to go to school forever, ...
A. 3 December 2010: I admit, I do value a guy who is assertive in gaining intelligence. Now, maybe that means mastering a skill that isn't necessarily a craft a school can teach you. For instance, I hugely admire and respect my Dad, who is a absolute crazy musician. He ... (read in full...)
Advice needed ASAP!
Q. Yesterday i had sex with my bf and his condom popped i heard but i didnt realize it till he came in me. should i take the plan B pill or just wait next week to see if i am pregnant and deal with this issue from there???...
A. 3 December 2010: Take Plan B now!!! It will be cheaper and less painful on your heart. If you end up pregnant, any choice you make will be a hell of a lot pricier than shelling out the 50 bucks for Plan B now! Never deal with the issue later. Deal with it here and ... (read in full...)
Would you consider his magic number high for his age?
Q. Is 22 sexual partners for a 27 year old male a lot?...
A. 3 December 2010: Well, I can't say if it's "high" or not. But I will assure you that when I started dating my husband, he was 23 with 24 people on his list already (now he's got 25 - me - and he's 28). I thought that was a lot until I started to hear about other ... (read in full...)
I want to get under the covers and play again like when we were 6!
Q. I have a family friend that i have been attracted to for a long time now. she is beautiful. we have been close since birth. when we were 5 or 6 we used to kiss. we would get under the covers in my bed and just play around for hours, nothing down ...
A. 2 December 2010: How could we know that?? All I know about her is that when she was 5-6, she used to play with you like little kids are wont to do. If you have been close since birth, you should get up the nerve to talk to her about your feelings, but do not ... (read in full...)
Does my guy friend like me romantically, sexually, or is he just joking around?
Q. A guy friend of mine often calls me 'ugly', 'fat', 'idiot','stupid' in a joking way but I'm really skinny and not bad-looking...He always mocks me. Every time he sees me, he just winds me up! Once when I was cooking in our friend's house, he threw ...
A. 2 December 2010: Another slam dunk for Dirtball!!! *crowd goes wild*
I couldn't say it better. So I won't try! Good luck!... (read in full...)
Sexual fantasies about my cousin...
Q. For the past few years, I have had sexual fantasies of my sexy cousin. I have wanted to do anything and everything to her. I don't care if she is blood, she is so sexy. I want to have sex with her, and i am not sure as to how i should tell her. ...
A. 2 December 2010: The best thing to do is just ask her, I guess. But be warned, if my cousin ever came on to me I would probably throw up first, slug him and then tell his Mom. And I am a really sweet, peaceful, steady-stomached, open minded person (if I do say so ... (read in full...)
Adoption? Abortion? Or keeping the baby from an unplanned pregnancy?
Q. This isn't a relationship question really. But out of blatant curiosity I was wondering if people out there would share their opinion on whether they think adoption, abortion or keeping an unplanned baby is the best option and why they feel that ...
A. 2 December 2010: Which is the best option? That is such a personal question! I think all those decisions are really brave and tough one.
Adoption - giving away your own child seems to me unbearable and painful. I can't imagine it. But, you can bring so much joy... (read in full...)
At first I miss her alot, but as time goes on its less and less
Q. My partner and I are both college students and we have to be apart during the breaks. I've noticed that while at first I miss her a lot, I gradually start to miss her less and less as the break progresses. Is this because I'm starting to love her ...
A. 2 December 2010: Well, I'm married to a military guy, and time apart is kind of the norm. And yes, everytime he leaves I am really bummed out at first and miss him horribly. But then as time goes on, I adjust more to being alone and while I miss him - I know I'll ... (read in full...)
What happens when 2 very controlling people date each other
Q. Does anyone know what happens when 2 very controlling people date each other? What happens in that relationship? Do they stay together for long? What's readers experiences? Thanks! Any comments would be greatly appreciated!!!...
A. 1 December 2010: I agree with the other two. But, there is a chance that maybe you both would understand each others tough boundaries and rules? Maybe you will have a nice mutual understanding, and then neither of you will have to find someone submissive to control. ... (read in full...)
Concrete, specific, short-term advice for coping with a breakup
Q. It was a wonderful fairytale relationship. She was perfect and we were perfect together. Before our fifth anniversary, she met another guy, and one week later, she dumped me. I know it sounds a lot like many other stories around here, and I've r...
A. 1 December 2010: I love yoga!
For me, it is a combination of angry rants on paper and distracting myself as much as possible. Let all the anger and sadness out of your head and then onto some paper... then get out and just distract yourself. If she pops into you... (read in full...)
How do I learn to be ok with this? My partner wants to become a woman!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been dating for about a year and a half. serious for about 10 months. we live together and he gave me a promise ring because neither one of us is ready to get married but we are committed to each other. he is very sexual and ...
A. 30 November 2010: I actually know a couple who went through this together. He had the surgery and is now a woman and they are a married, lesbian couple. They had a child together who adjusted marvelously. Now, probably 10 years later, they are a great family who are ... (read in full...)
What does it mean if a married man sends me a early Christmas present and it is a piece of jewellery?
Q. What does it mean if a married man sends me a early Christmas present and it is a piece of jewellery? It is a beautiful necklace(not gold) but it is an antique that was his grandmothers. He has never expressed feelings for me but does text me and ...
A. 30 November 2010: Amen to Denise. A man - married or not - does not give a woman a special, antique necklace just because. Okay, maybe if they're related. You're not related. This is completely inappropriate.
Do not get involved with him at all. Return it, and ... (read in full...)
Should I drop college to be closer to my boyfriend even though my family will hate me?
Q. I am female and I have a long story for you guys. I go to college up in Michigan, I'm 18 and my boyfriend of three years lives in Toledo. I hate being far away from him and I hate being and doing things by myself. At the beganing, I went to college ...
A. 29 November 2010: If ANYTHING at least transfer to a university there. Immediately. Don't wait. Don't take this two years. As someone who jumped around from college to college in favor of adventuring and falling in love, it is really obnoxious in the long run. I'm 24 ... (read in full...)
Heartbreak Lead to a Heart Attack
Q. Is it possible to suffer a heart attack from a broken heart! I can't breathe......
A. 27 November 2010: Call 911! You are most likely having an anxiety attack, but it could be anything! We can not see you, we don't know your health history. If you feel like you can't breathe, or like something is wrong - go to the hospital immediately!! Good luck!... (read in full...)
I need help with trusting and insecurity, please help me??
Q. Hello again my gf has many male friends I do feel uncomfortable with it but I usually don't let it get to me but she always meets a new guy and sometimes she tells me how they act and I feel like they start liking her now I know you all will tell me ...
A. 26 November 2010: I know you don't trust the guys, but what do you think they will do? Gang up and use their strength to overtake her? I know you don't want to hear "trust your girlfriend", but sometimes you just HAVE TO. She will do the right thing. She will say no ... (read in full...)
Am I holding out for a reason?
Q. I had a relationship with this guy over the summer that ended do to the distance between us but we still talk and get along really well. I guess you could say we still act like boyfriend and girlfriend just without thte title. When ever we see each ...
A. 24 November 2010: Well, the way I see it - you now have 3 years to figure yourselves out. You've got 3 years to go to school, date some people, get more in touch with yourself... and he's got 3 years to make all that money and figure out his priorities more. He's 21 ... (read in full...)
What cologne should I get my boyfriend for christmas?
Q. Not really a relationship question as such but something most people will have an opinion on I hope. I want to get my boyfriend some cologne as part of his xmas present, but I'm completely clueless when it's comes to male fragrance and was hoping ...
A. 24 November 2010: First off - it is most important that you use YOUR nose and figure out what YOU like best!! You are the one smelling him, after all.
I absolutely LOVE my man in Victoria's Secret Very Sexy for Men. Oh my God, it smells soooo amazing. It is a tot... (read in full...)
I can decide what gift to get boyfriend for Christmas!
Q. HELP ME!! Me and my boyfriend have been going out for about a month and i have no idea of what to get him for christmas. He loves to read but I dont want to get him a book because i dont know if he's already read it or even if he's heard of it. He ...
A. 24 November 2010: Maybe he would like this?
http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Survival-Guide-Complete-Protection/dp/1400049628
It looks pretty awesome to me. And the price is right!!
Or, make him cupcakes and try to use icing to make them look zombie-fabulous. Ev... (read in full...)
Should I get mum and dad tattooed onto my inner wrist
Q. should i get my mum and dads name tattooed onto my inner wrist okay i was thinking mum on my right wrist and dad on my left do you think this will look okay ? or do you think it would look better with mummy and daddy ?...
A. 24 November 2010: I agree, it's not a good idea to get names tattooed on you - unless, they are related to you for life or gave you a kidney. So in this case, okay. But, I would wait a few years. I say this because now (at 24) I have soooo many friends who went out, ... (read in full...)
I've Made Every Possible Mistake
Q. As the title states, I'm in deep over my head. I met and got into an intense relationship with a great guy last year, one which he broke off with claims of needing time to heal from the relationship he was in before us. Though we were only involved ...
A. 23 November 2010: See this guy as one big life lesson and call it quits with this relationship. He seems to be moving on, getting involved with new relationships and he doesn't seem to be into you for anything other than the occasional hookup. The more you go running ... (read in full...)
How can I convince my friend she's making a big mistake?
Q. My friend and I are freshmen in high school. She is a beautiful smart exotic girl who "loves" this total jerk. Before the summer when she first got a phone he would text her and say that he loved her and ask constantly if she wanted to meet and have ...
A. 22 November 2010: Well sweetheart, you have done what you can do. She knows how you feel about him, and she knows that you think he treats her horribly and that she deserves better. You have told her that, and unfortunately there is not much else you can tell her to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't let me finish in her mouth!
Q. My girlfriend won't let me finish in her mouth. She is grossed out by semen. How do I get her to open up to the idea. She also does not want to experiment with taking it up the butt even though she did it with someone else previously. Is it disre...
A. 20 November 2010: I do not suggest tricking her into taking it in the mouth by not pulling out fast enough. Tricking your wife into doing sexual acts that she isn't comfortable doing is VERY disrespectful, hurtful and wrong. Once again, I do not recommend giving her ... (read in full...)
Is this an appropriate subject for her to discuss with my husband??
Q. I want to do a poll... Is it appropiate that a female friend of my husbands told him about her getting a boob job? Also if there are any other topics you think are taboo to mention to an opposite sex friend when both parties are attached please s...
A. 20 November 2010: I don't have a problem with it. If some chick told my husband she got a boob job, it wouldn't bug me unless she whipped them out and let him motorboat them or something. It's a little TMI, but she just might have a bold personality and not mind ... (read in full...)
How to Approach a Guy without looking desperate?
Q. I've known this normally outgoing, confident guy for about 6 months and our relationship kinda goes like this: we ignore eachother and stare when we don't think the other person's looking. Then by chance, one of us will say something and we'll spend ...
A. 20 November 2010: You guys need to stop doing this dance and someone just needs to ask someone out! You like each other? Well, why not give it a try? Go on a date, make some plans, something! The tension between you guys is ridiculous! YOU can ask him to do something ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't let me finish in her mouth!
Q. My girlfriend won't let me finish in her mouth. She is grossed out by semen. How do I get her to open up to the idea. She also does not want to experiment with taking it up the butt even though she did it with someone else previously. Is it disre...
A. 20 November 2010: I guess I'm just reiterating the two others (who gave great advice)...
Yes, it is disrespectful! If she has told you she's not comfortable or interested, you should not push the issue. She's done it before - she didn't enjoy it - she doesn't ... (read in full...)
My first kiss is happening soon and I don't know what to do!
Q. Okay, so my fwb Tyler, and I are going to the movies Friday and we have already talked about it and everything. He said when I hug him he's gonna kiss me right then and there; he will be my first kiss and I am so nervous I don't even know how to ...
A. 19 November 2010: Aw, sweet thing! No worries. A first kiss is a little nerve-racking, but it's over with quickly! :o) Just make yourself available and let him lead. You will just feel when the kiss is coming to a close... there is no set time. As soon as both your ... (read in full...)
I'm worried he has told other people at school that I'm a virgin after our failed attempt at having sex! What should I do?
Q. so i'm just going to start with my question. few weeks ago, a new guy in my class began to send me messages. i wasn't interested i'm not even now. but anyways i talked to him. he told me he likes me and so on. because he wanted to meet with me so i ...
A. 19 November 2010: Hey sister, I was the "virgin" until 19 when I lost it with the guy who I felt like deserved it and who I really wanted to lose it to. Then, 4 years later I married him. Good taste, listening to your gut and patience PAYS OFF. And believe me, being ... (read in full...)
How can I start enjoying my youth again?
Q. Since been 14 (I'm now 16) I can't wait to be an adult/grown up etc. I've never been in a realtionship or anything, and that honestly doesn't bother me (plenty of time for all that lol). I'm doing my A levels now but I just want to be through with ...
A. 18 November 2010: Go dirtball! I would also like to say while you're a teenager, you have the most opportunity to make important accomplishments that will affect the rest of your life. You hear about all these young people who grow up to be millionaires, well it's ... (read in full...)
Can it lead to miscarriage?
Q. if you over excersice or if you take a laxative pill can your about 8 weeks pregnant. can you have a miscarridge or lose the baby????...
A. 18 November 2010: Well, it's certainly not healthy for you, and I would image that yes - overexerting your body could lead to harming the baby. Please go see your doctor and discuss what is healthiest for you to be doing now. If you are worried about gaining weight, ... (read in full...)
I feel like I have been abandoned by my friends and family when I need them most
Q. I am feeling so sad and depressed. This has been a bad year with deaths, son being in jail, being sick, getting fired, etc. I feel like I have been abandoned by my friends and family when I need them most. Maybe I feel it was one-sided and ev...
A. 17 November 2010: I have some of the same questions... what is the rest of this story? Also, why did your Mother want $1000 dollars? Do you owe it to her? Did she just want a thousand bucks?
Maybe you have a problem communicating properly. Look at yourself and ask ... (read in full...)
It hurts when he cums inside me. What can we do?
Q. I'm 31 and dating a 56 year old male. He tends to have strong ejaculations to the point that he goes too deep and hard inside of me. Ive told him this is painful. The sex is great up until he ejaculates. I've asked him to pull out, but for some ...
A. 17 November 2010: You might also think about you being on top when you know he's heading toward the finish line. That way you can have more control over how deep he is and how long he stays in.
And yes, if he knows that it is causing you pain and he continue... (read in full...)
How should a single guy's bedroom look?
Q. Women, if you were at the house of a guy you liked and peeked in his bedroom, what would make a better impression on you: if it looked as though he entertained females there occasionally (candles, incense sticks, queen-size bed, tiny bottle of ...
A. 16 November 2010: Yeah, I do not want to go over to the "Ladie's Man"s house. Ick ick ick! Like "anon" says, don't just pull out old stuff! Ask her what she likes and then get new ones just for her.
As for design, go for simple with character - and the characte... (read in full...)
He's browsing women's sexy clothing websites!
Q. Hi everyone, I'm the girl that had the boyfriend who wanted a break. Well things haven't gone as far as that but I have found that he has been checking out girls wearing sexy clothes online. He is no way looking at pornography, just girls weari...
A. 16 November 2010: Hey there - I had a cousin who used to come over to my house and when he left, all my Victoria's Secret magazines would be gone! I mean, your fella could be looking at it and using it like someone would a men's magazine. But, like the others have ... (read in full...)
He got a past 1 night stand pregnant... should I stick around to see if it's his?
Q. I am dating someone and he has just found out that he might have got a one night stand that he was with before we got together pregnant. Should I break it off now or wait to find out if it is really his?...
A. 15 November 2010: Well, how enthusiastic are you about being a stepmom? How long have you been dating the guy? Are you really into him? What does he intend to do if the child is his? Are you sure this child was conceived before you came along? How long until she ... (read in full...)
Eighteen and want to be pregnant
Q. I'm eighteen yeast old. I have a real big desire to get pregnant with my boyfriend. I don't know what to do. I've tried keeping myself busy but it doesn't seem to work. We've only been together for a short while. But it's not the relationship that ...
A. 15 November 2010: Here is my suggestion. I was an 18 year old who was dyyyiinnng for babies, but still knew logically that I was too young. Well logic has a hard time completing with the maternal urge, right?
So I bought a big plastic bin and then every time I w... (read in full...)
Why do some women feel the guy is ok to hear EVERYTHING about their past?
Q. We had a perfect relationship, until she started getting into details about her past.. I never asked for details, I just asked for a number of partners, and about her last serious relationship.. Why do women feel comfortable with some men to the ...
A. 15 November 2010: It sounds like everything she had said was driving you nuts originally. So she got sick of it, and thought "hmm, perhaps I'll just tell him I exaggerated and he'll feel better and leave me be". So she gave it a try, you weren't having it and it ... (read in full...)
Why do some women feel the guy is ok to hear EVERYTHING about their past?
Q. We had a perfect relationship, until she started getting into details about her past.. I never asked for details, I just asked for a number of partners, and about her last serious relationship.. Why do women feel comfortable with some men to the ...
A. 15 November 2010: Well, I personally think that your approach to this is a little intense. I can't understand how you operate, I guess... but if this is such a huge issue for you, and you are growing to hate her, you should definitely leave this relationship. It ... (read in full...)
Why do some women feel the guy is ok to hear EVERYTHING about their past?
Q. We had a perfect relationship, until she started getting into details about her past.. I never asked for details, I just asked for a number of partners, and about her last serious relationship.. Why do women feel comfortable with some men to the ...
A. 15 November 2010: What is up with these expectations of how "ladies" act? The traditional "lady" went out in the 90's, and now there can be no expectations.
My guesses are this:
a) she may just like to talk. God knows I do, and sometimes I just like telling a g... (read in full...)
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