A
female
age
30-35,
*j1234
writes:Hello everyone. I've got a question about engagement. I am 20 (21 in Sept.), by boyfriend is 21 (22 in Sept.). We have been dating since May of 2009, so will be 2 years here in a few months. My mom got married in October of 2010, and about a month prior to her wedding we started discussing marriage. We bought a home together in May 2010, and lived in an apartment together since Aug. 2009, so we know each other very well. But I told him when we first started discussing marriage that it couldn't be around my mom's wedding at all, don't want to take her flame away from her. So we left it at that, then once holidays started rolling around I figured he may have something up his sleeve soon, since my mom's wedding was Oct. 2 and it had been a little while. Well, thanksgiving passed, Christmas passes, new years passed, and valentines has passed. We still talk about it now, but I'm trying to not bring it up much so the surprise isn't ruined. But when will he propose? I mean we have talked serious as in how we like a November wedding?? And no, he is never nervous when we talk about it, especially since he is the one who brings it up half the time. I would love to be married to him and spend the rest of my life with him, but he has got to get this question out of the way first. So does anyone have any ideas about this? Is he going to ever propose?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2011): Whats the rush??...at 20...You havent said anything about your relationship..It's like you just want to get married period,,,While this is a healthy desire..It is also a very serious commitmnet that should not be taken lightly....Girls are so hung up on the wedding day and are hardly prepared for marriage....From yur post I havent seen any concrete sign of matuity that tell me you are ready or at least developing and maturing to be ready..Your mums life and your life are different...Plus if you pressure a man into marriage before he is ready for it, it may not go well or worst it wont last...let it come in its own time so that when he gets married he does not feel trapped...Be patient and take time to read and get advice about preparing for marriage(not just the ceremony, the actual married life) and evalute that you are both in the same place...If you are not in the same place, then your relationship is out of sync and need time to grow....You are still young...Dont rush...a word is enough for the wise
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (17 March 2011):
 It's only been two years of you being together. Savor being his girlfriend. You'll be his wife for the rest of time. Cherish being a girlfriend. When my fella proposed (after nearly 4 years), I suddenly had this wave of mourning being a "girlfriend". And as the previous poster said, he could just be trying to save up for a ring, wedding, etc. Or maybe he's just relaxed, living in the moment and not wanting to hurry the process. You are both still young and have a lot of youth left to enjoy before taking on the youth-squashing responsibilities of marriage. I'm not saying you're too young, I'm simply speaking from experience - take your time. Remember that you will be married for like, 60 years. You have pleennnttyyy of time.
There is no need to rush. Enjoy the scenery along the way and the anticipation. When the proposal happens, it will happen and the timing will be right. You are already spending your lives together right now! Enjoy creating memories of your dating life and the time before you got married.
No worries, sweet. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (17 March 2011):
 I'm sure he will propose, in his own time!!! You just bought a house together, houses tend not to come cheap!!! He needs to save up for a ring first, then there'll be the cost of the wedding itself. Chill out hun and stop worrying. When the time is right, he'll do it.
Just remember, it's not a race....
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