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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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How do I bring up that I dated his friend 3 years ago?
Q. Three years ago I went on a few dates with a guy we'll call Andy. I was never really into him, although things went a little too far one night, but I didn't want them to so I left. We saw each other one more time after this and talked briefly, but ...
A. 16 August 2011: I guess I'd wait until you see him in person. It's not a huge deal, but it is probably better to be looking him in the face so he can visually see how not-a-big-deal it really is. I don't think the situation is desperate enough to warrant calling ... (read in full...)
We were having a great time till I pulled out a condom!
Q. I drove 6 hours one way this weekend to meet up with this girl I met the other week we hit it off pretty good but she wouldn't let me put it in. We were both messing around alot but still did not go all the way. We showered together and slept naked ...
A. 15 August 2011: Yep, you moved too fast for her. And she may not even know she's being a cock-tease. I was like this until the end of being 19 when I lost my virginity. I had no intent for sex and didn't even understand how I was leading guys on. She may be naive ... (read in full...)
How do I bring up that I dated his friend 3 years ago?
Q. Three years ago I went on a few dates with a guy we'll call Andy. I was never really into him, although things went a little too far one night, but I didn't want them to so I left. We saw each other one more time after this and talked briefly, but ...
A. 15 August 2011: I agree with the previous posters. You and Andy, it was short, didn't mean anything, etc. The only way that it will SEEM like it meant something is if you keep it a secret. So, rather than it coming out down the line and having your three-date-tryst ... (read in full...)
She says he is cheating and then she says he is not!
Q. ok so one of my friends is kind of a lier but i think its because she feels like she needs to lie to be my friend cause im older then her and stuff. well i dont know if i should believe her about things. her and my boyfriend are friends kinda. ...
A. 15 August 2011: Well, already you know she's a liar. So whatever she says you should take with a grain of salt.
How did she approach this with you? Did you feel like she was being truthful and trying to do the right thing by telling you information he had conf... (read in full...)
I suspect him having sex with this minor, would you call CPS or leave the situation alone?
Q. I recently saw my ex friend/FWB with a young lady who looked to be 16 years old. I know these days its hard to tell how old a young lady is based on her appearance however this young ladies appearance from head to toe was that of a young lady 15-20 ...
A. 15 August 2011: I'd leave it alone. You don't have any of the real facts, only guesses and their biased because of your history with him. Don't get yourself re-involved with this guy, just move on with your own life and disconnect from him. Who the hell cares who ... (read in full...)
Why do creeps ask girls if they are virgins?
Q. Why do creepy guys and perverts ask teenage girls "Are you a virgin"?...
A. 15 August 2011: Because they are creepy and perverted!... (read in full...)
My wife kisses and sucks her high heels??
Q. My wife is so crazy for her shoes and high heels that she kisses her shoes and sucks her heels when we have sex. Although I too find high heeled shoes sexy isn't this going a bit too overboard? Is it normal for women to do that?...
A. 10 August 2011: It's a fetish! There are men who have shoe fetishes or feet fetishes, so why would it be unusual for a woman to have the same thing? If you're okay with it, then it's "normal". If you don't feel comfortable with it, then it's time to get creative ... (read in full...)
Is my ex having sex with other men?
Q. is my ex having sex with other men? she still shaves her pubic region everyday i found this out cause we ended up having sex one nite out of the blue so why would she still go through the hassle if shes not having sex with others?...
A. 10 August 2011: Because it may be more comfortable for her.
Or maybe she is - if she's your ex, that means it's really none of your business anymore. Unless you're not using protection in which case, you should have asked BEFORE putting yourself at risk! If... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and my body is changing. Could I still be going through puberty?
Q. Lately I've been feeling my hips getting wider and my breasts went up a cup size. I'm not sure if this is because of puberty because I'm almost 19 in a few weeks and I heard you stop "growing" when you're 18. I have been eating a little more than I ...
A. 6 August 2011: OOoh, sweet, this is totally normal.
Every woman changes after she's a teenager. Why do you think that the second we turn 21, we're whining and moaning and glorifying our teenage days and bodies. We're women! Our bodies will do plenty of shifting... (read in full...)
When are men going to STOP being so selfish about porn and START realizing they are destroying the woman that loves them?
Q. Some women like porn and don't mind if their bf's look at it. This does not apply to those women. This is for the rest of us, the majority. Those of us that HATE PORN and HATE HOW IT MAKES US FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES. Seriously, after all the ex...
A. 6 August 2011: Yes, evidently you're just not with the right guy. You've got a whole lot of anger going on and I don't think whoever this guy is that you're with is going to pull a miraculous change. There's too much anger here to suggest that. There are guys out ... (read in full...)
Could I only be considered beautiful if I were white?
Q. Is white beauty the 'ideal'? I'm brown skinned, black haired asian female and I'm getting a bit disillusioned about being brown. Blonde hair, thin lips, blue eyes and all that is meant to be the 'ideal' of beauty and quite frankly without gouging ...
A. 5 August 2011: In some places in the world, people bleach their skin to fulfill some sort of beauty ideal. Here, the pale turn ORANGE trying to make themselves beautifully browned. Just watch Jersey Shore and you will see fair-skinned folks trying to fit into your ... (read in full...)
Could I only be considered beautiful if I were white?
Q. Is white beauty the 'ideal'? I'm brown skinned, black haired asian female and I'm getting a bit disillusioned about being brown. Blonde hair, thin lips, blue eyes and all that is meant to be the 'ideal' of beauty and quite frankly without gouging ...
A. 4 August 2011: I don't think white is the ideal beauty at ALL! Maybe I'm biased because I'm bi-racial and a lovely shade of in-between... but I know it and I've seen it with my own two (brown) eyes: there are hot babes in every corner of the universe, in every ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my professor reply?
Q. So I wanted to remain friends with a former professor because she was a huge impact on my life. I asked her if we could remain in contact, she said yes, but every time I email her (the only form on contact we have) she doesn't reply. why would she ...
A. 2 August 2011: You got excellent advice all around. Listen to the Aunties, and you'll know in your heart what to do. Appreciate you've been a good student who appreciated all that she does and who she is professionally. That will mean plenty. Now that you've let ... (read in full...)
Is this normal behavior?
Q. Is it normal behavior for your boyfriend to leave as soon as you are confrontational/negative because he doesn't want to waste a "second of his life arguing"? By leaving, I mean literally walking out the house and not returning 10-12 hours late...
A. 31 July 2011: It may be "normal", but I don't think it is helpful for the relationship. Space can be a positive thing. After an argument, chilling out is good. But, to walk out of the house for 10-12 hours at the sight of any negativity isn't cool and is kind of ... (read in full...)
I need help with my 14 year old daughter...
Q. Hi a have a question I have a 14 year old daughter that shocked me today. she call me and was going to ask me a question and me messing with her I said no u can't go to your friends house before she asked her question and then she said forget it now ...
A. 28 July 2011: I think that she is being a teenager. And welcome to the next like, 3-4 years of your life. I think that teenagers are overly sensitive and their reactions flip like switches. They can be fine, happy, smiling and then one regular ol' sentence from ... (read in full...)
Any ideas on what tricks I can do, to teach my new puppy?
Q. I am getting me a Boston Terrier it is a female what kind of things can you teach a puppy? I have had cats so i am not use to having a puppy of my own. so i need some ideas on what to teach my puppy. so if you know of any ideas please let me know ...
A. 27 July 2011: p.s.
All the additional advice was awweeessoommmeee. So follow these rules and you'll be good to go!
With my dog, I simply trained her with verbal and hand signal commands simultaneously - and now I can ask her to do whatever either way and s... (read in full...)
I hate my in-laws! What should I do?
Q. OK. This question is for anyone who has in law problems. I can't stand my in laws!!! They have never been really nice people . I'd love it if we never had to see them again! But that's not an option. Despite the problems with them, my hubby won't ...
A. 26 July 2011: Kill them with kindness, I say. I have tricky in-laws too, but I am always as genuinely kind to them as I can be. Hey, they raised my fella and he's pretty great. And yes, they probably yack about me behind my back, but I try not to give them any ... (read in full...)
Any ideas on what tricks I can do, to teach my new puppy?
Q. I am getting me a Boston Terrier it is a female what kind of things can you teach a puppy? I have had cats so i am not use to having a puppy of my own. so i need some ideas on what to teach my puppy. so if you know of any ideas please let me know ...
A. 26 July 2011: You can teach dogs everything and anything (except how to do your taxes). The important thing is to teach your puppy rules, boundaries and limitations. You have to teach her to respect your house and the people who enter it. So if you don't want her ... (read in full...)
Do women look too ?
Q. A question that will ignite a debate, we men although may have the most beautiful wife/girlfriend but we keep on looking at other women, we don't get enough! although we may be having the best woman...Are women like us in nature, do they look at men ...
A. 25 July 2011: Of course we look. Of course!! There are probably some women who don't... I'm sure such women exist. But I am guessing that they are few and far between. Yes, we glance, we glimpse - sometimes we drool. I'm married to a hunk and a half, bu... (read in full...)
Opinion on a girl who has made out with 13 guys before age 18?
Q. Guys, in complete an utter honesty. If you were seeing an 18 year old girl and she told you she's got with (kissed) about 13 guys, none of whom she was in a relationship with. What would your opinion on her be? And would you want her to tell you ...
A. 25 July 2011: I'm not a guy, but before I was 18 I kissed way, way, way, way, way more guys than 13 - though I was still very much a virgin. Believe me, when you get older, nobody is asking how many guys you've kissed - usually they want to know more about 3rd ... (read in full...)
Virginity--when do most lose it?
Q. Hello :) well this subject is really kinda hard to explain but i will do it my best. Well first of all im 14 years old i don't go to school anymore because alot of stuff happened some months ago i wont explain ...
A. 21 July 2011: I was a lot like you. Tons like you! I probably could have written this at your age. And as I recall it was right about then that I decided that I would lose it by the time I was 17. Well, 17 rolled around and it wasn't that I hadn't the ... (read in full...)
Brain washing uncle from hell ! Help ?
Q. Hey :) i could use some advice ? well this is going to sound crazy but me and my some of my family have strong suspicsions that my uncle might be menatally abusing my cousin and brainwashing my aunt. Well ...
A. 21 July 2011: Well, I'm not too clear on all this legal stuff - I'll leave that for another aunt or uncle. But it seems to me that the best you can do is give Stacey, Luke and your aunt a safe place to be. You can always be open to listen to them and to take ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about it---does he like me?
Q. Ok I hate to ask the cliche "Does he like me?" question, but I can't stop thinking about it and it's doing my head in! He teases me a lot, but in a friendly way. We have really good banter together :) He'll wrap his arms around my shoulders and bury...
A. 21 July 2011: Well, it certainly seems like he does. Those are the signs. He's given you plenty of body language signs and all the other flirty stuff.
The problem with these "does he like me" questions, is that we always get a list of every single reason a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend blew me off to play video games. Am I being immature by being mad?
Q. My boyfriend and I of nearly two months went out the other night to the movies to see the new Hangover movie. After the show, I asked what he wanted to do next and if he might just want to go to my house to hang out for a couple of hours. He said we ...
A. 16 July 2011: I think FatherlyAdvice gave excellent advice, per usual. Especially on dates and kisses good night!
I'm just throwing in my two cents. I admit that I've (seemingly) blown off my fella to sit at home by myself playing a computer game because ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is always afraid of pregnancy even though we use protection...how do I calm her down?
Q. My girlfriend and I are worried about a potential pregnancy. She's a little later than usual for her period. She's almost always ~3 days late, but we're getting into a day or two past that point. To the best of our knowledge, she *shouldn't* be p...
A. 16 July 2011: I go through this every single month. I'm like your girlfriend, consistently late - and every month it's the same routine. I start to flip out, as it always seems a day or two later than before. Perhaps it's the stress of it all that screws up the ... (read in full...)
Life is miserable and I don't know what Iv done to deserve this..
Q. Hi guys. I just really wanted to get some stuff off my chest. I'm a 16 year old closeted guy and I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been sad and depressed for the past 3-4 years, and I've tried my hardest to cope with it. But when does the...
A. 14 July 2011: p.s. I write novels too, so don't feel bad!... (read in full...)
Life is miserable and I don't know what Iv done to deserve this..
Q. Hi guys. I just really wanted to get some stuff off my chest. I'm a 16 year old closeted guy and I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been sad and depressed for the past 3-4 years, and I've tried my hardest to cope with it. But when does the...
A. 14 July 2011: Not a novel, so no worries there! :o)
You do sound depressed. And that's a clinical thing, not a YOU thing entirely. So don't think that this is just your life, you're stuck with it, that sucks. Part of this can be fixed with the right therapis... (read in full...)
What do you think of this tattoo idea?
Q. soo i turned 17 in april.. and lately ive been thinking a lot about wanting a tattoo. the problem is my mother will probably nott let me get one. she wont even let me pierce my tongue but has let me pierce my bellybutton when i was 15. the past ...
A. 14 July 2011: I remember when I was exactly your age, I talked my Mom into a tattoo, but the parlor (in the state of NY) said it was illegal to tattoo until 18 because the skin continues to grow, the tattoo stretches out and the artwork looks horrible. They ... (read in full...)
I thought it was normal to masturbate?
Q. so the other day i was playing never have i ever with my friends. we are all 15 and we are like the more popular girls in school. a few have them have had sex and everyone else has been fingered. anyways someone said "never have i ever mastraba...
A. 13 July 2011: It's totally normal.
I'm sure that within a bunch of 15 year olds, nobody wants to be the first one to put their finger down, and they're all kinda embarrassed - just like you didn't want to look weird. Everyone was probably just waiting for some... (read in full...)
Girls: Have you ever been rejected?
Q. Girls have you ever approached a guy and had him reject you? I am not talking about being dumped. I am talking about when you first meet a guy, you put yourself out there and ask him out and he shoots you down. I have this theory. Most girls seem ...
A. 12 July 2011: Yep, got rejected with: "you're not the kind of girl guys want to date, you're the kind of girl guys want to marry". It devastated me at the time, but now I'm a little older and wiser, I realize he might have been saying "you probably don't want to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says I'm too emotional, and I'm worried if I don't change she's going to leave me! How can I get a handle on this?
Q. Well this is a kind of weird one I guess, it affects me a lot actually, and I want to know how to improve on it. My girlfriend said to me a while ago that I am too emotional and she doesn't like that, and I can't help but think if I don't change t...
A. 12 July 2011: Hey, don't force yourself to shut up! I've been Cupid-ing a long, long time and will tell you that followups are GREAT! Don't hold back more information (though brevity is also appreciated... some people go on for pages. Like me).
I'll tell you... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says I'm too emotional, and I'm worried if I don't change she's going to leave me! How can I get a handle on this?
Q. Well this is a kind of weird one I guess, it affects me a lot actually, and I want to know how to improve on it. My girlfriend said to me a while ago that I am too emotional and she doesn't like that, and I can't help but think if I don't change t...
A. 11 July 2011: I think you stressing out about her leaving you is not going to help! Maybe this sort of paranoia is part of the reason why she's frustrated. I would just try to live in the moment. You don't need to stop having emotions and become some cold, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was staring at another woman!
Q. Am I the only woman to think it is disrespectful for your date to be staring at other women while out on a date with you? I have never had a man do this before. Most men are smart enough to at least hide it. But my boyfriend of several years and I ...
A. 11 July 2011: He probably was watching her because she was doing something interesting (flipping people off) and she was cute. But honestly, whatever! 15 seconds later, his concentration was back on you. I think his story is probably accurate - sometimes you get ... (read in full...)
Does it make me out of the ordinary that I prefer guys with a solid build? Even a touch chubby?
Q. Hi again my loves :) I was just wondering, if it's at all odd that I am attracted to chubby lads? Every one I know, apart from one creeper who makes it an embarrassment, likes fit, slim people. Me? I personally like chubby guys. Not like huge, bu...
A. 9 July 2011: I have always been accused of being a "chubby chaser" (not a very nice term if you ask me, but okay.) - I too like heavier fellas. Funny that I ended up marrying a 180, kind of a stereotypically 'hot build' guy. And even funnier that he doesn't feel ... (read in full...)
My nine year old son told me he has sexual feelings about me, and both men and women
Q. I have a son who is almost 10 years old and he resently told me that he's had sexual thoughts about me as well as men and women. What or how should I handle this.....I am concerned that he's thinking about men and myself in that way, but I don't ...
A. 9 July 2011: Okay, I wouldn't tell your son that it's not normal. All a young mind will hear is "You're not normal". The reality is, he is perfectly normal - he is going through puberty, overwhelmed with hormones and apparently they are just going all over the ... (read in full...)
Opinions on beards please!!
Q. Hiyaaaaa, Well this isn't really a problem more off a personal opinion and preference! I don't do art as a subject anymore but I recently bumped into my art teacher and saw him with a beard!!!!! So guys why would you guys grow a beard or ...
A. 9 July 2011: My fella joined the military and it has been two years since I saw that goatee on him. I never knew how much I would miss it... forever more I will never take it for granted. I loved that goatee. And I want it back, bad. Two years left until we ... (read in full...)
I want to look experienced even though I'm not, help !!
Q. Hey so I've got a difficult situation to deal with. I really like a guy, and he really wants to have sex. I'm a virgin, but he thinks I'm not. I think I'm comfortable with vaginal sex, but he has somewhat of an obsession with getting head. I've ...
A. 9 July 2011: Oh sweetness,
I wish I could fast forward the universe and bring back 24 year old you to give present day you some advice. I know that down the line this will not be a fond memory and you will end up regretting losing your virginity to this guy... (read in full...)
I'm dating a guy for the first time, and I have no idea what to do or how to act!
Q. I just got my first boyfriend and i dont know wat to say arond him also i dont know if i ask him to go to the movies or will he ask me please help me...
A. 7 July 2011: Personally, I think if he already asked you to be his girlfriend, now you can both make plans when you feel like it! Maybe you can wait for him to ask for the first time, but really - why wait? You can always ask if he'd like to go to a movie with ... (read in full...)
Being a virgin has ruined my chances at love in my home town...
Q. Okay so ive decided to start dating but the problem is women wont even go on a date with me where I live because i am a virgin. There was a incident a year ago when everyone found out I was a virgin and now it has kinda ruined me here in my city. ...
A. 7 July 2011: This is crazy. Maybe you're so paranoid that they don't/won't like you, you're giving off vibes. I find it so hard to believe that they won't like you! Personally, if I found out that some cute, nice, single guy was a virgin - I would have the ... (read in full...)
Why do people judge other people?
Q. I'm so mad. Why does the human race have to judge everyone and everything? Who cares if someone is gay or straight? Who cares if someone has a few extra pounds? Who cares if they're poor or rich? If their house got foreclosed? Who cares if the like ...
A. 2 July 2011: I agree with you, sister. People are people, everyone has their individual tastes, why can't we just leave each other be to our own happiness??? To each their own, right?!?
You can only live by demonstration to help others understand - by not bein... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing by cutting him off?
Q. I'll just jump right into it. I dated this guy. I completely fell head-over-heels for him. In a few short weeks I was infatuated with him. We dated for about a month and a half before breaking up for complicated reasons. He said he wanted m...
A. 1 July 2011: I have to remind myself every now and again that the right thing to do is usually not the easiest thing to do. And it sounds like you did the right thing. You are empowering yourself and making the healthy choice. He'll fuss for awhile to try and ... (read in full...)
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