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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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I love her, can't stop thinking about her, but she hates me. I need advice please
Q. I'm 14 going on 15 and there's this girl i really like, only thing is she hates me, and i don't know what to do next. I think it's because first of all i got my mates to ask her out, and second when she said to them that she wouldn't go with me, ...
A. 1 January 2011: Definitely leave her be like the other ladies have said! You don't want to come on too strong. If you start moving on, she may notice your absence, or you may find someone who really likes you and would never say something like "I hate you and leave ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend won't allow me to talk badly about her ex
Q. my girl friend will not allow me to talk low about her ex boy friend why? she regards always high about him but she says " I love you more than anybody and I will never leave you", what could be the reason can any one please help me and my fear is ...
A. 31 December 2010: Well, I'm not too familiar with your culture, but I am hoping my thoughts are universal. Maybe she does not like you talking badly about other people. She still seems to think he's a good guy - but that doesn't mean that she still wants to be with ... (read in full...)
1st period and I need some advice
Q. I just got my period for the first time and I am a little nervous about whats going on in my body. Can anyone help, girls only please....
A. 31 December 2010: No worries! You are pretty much stuck with it for the next 40-50 years, so you will adjust.
Your body knows what its doing. Technically, it's shedding its uterine lining. Casually, it is being a pain in the butt!! Wear dark jeans (just in case)... (read in full...)
How can I get over girls??
Q. I am a 23 year old and have real problems when it comes to girls. I cant seem to get over these 2 girls that I was involved with. One of these girls is my x girlfriend. We were friends for ages and kept rejecting me for other guys then after some ...
A. 31 December 2010: They both don't sound like the kind of girl you want to be in a relationship with. Girl A's mysterious and abrupt exit upon hearing about your virginity was rude and really not something that a supposed "best friend" would do.
Girl B seems to... (read in full...)
Is he drinking behind my back?
Q. I have a pretty big problem. My boyfriend is a former alcoholic. I have trust issues with him. The past few times we have seen each other he has smelt very strange. I thought maybe it was bad body odor. Then he came to my house and the next day my ...
A. 30 December 2010: I have trouble believing him too. If he is consistently smelling like booze, he is probably drinking again. Is he attending AA or anything to keep him steady in being sober?
Maybe you could invest in a breathalyzer. That would prove if he'd bee... (read in full...)
He cannot take care of me like he wants
Q. I started dating a gentleman 17 years older then me. He seems to not be able to get hard. He has tried a number of medications to help and they do not. We have sex and it is really good sex, but he gets so upset because he can not "take care of me" ...
A. 28 December 2010: Agreed with the previous poster!! They are so many alternatives to simple penetration! If he is very concerned, they he can focus on his tongue (which is scientifically PROVED to fix this issue) and his hands and provide you with more manual ... (read in full...)
Does her "Merry Christmas" mean anything?
Q. About 6 weeks weeks ago my ex and I split up, her decision. The last thing she said to me was that she didn't feel comfortable talking to me anymore and I should forget about her. So I haven't spoken with her since. On Christmas Eve I get a text...
A. 27 December 2010: I don't think you should text her. I got soo many texts this year, all mass texts, of "Merry Christmas!". From friends, exes, relatives, acquaintances, etc. Just because she manually selected you does not mean that she still has feelings for you. I ... (read in full...)
I just found out I'm pregnant and he doesn't want kids
Q. I need some advice. So i'm 17,my boyfriend is 19, we've been together for over 2 years. Yesterday my boyfriend and I were talking and the subject of kids got brought up. Anyways so my boyfriend said that he doesn't want any kids. Today I just fou...
A. 25 December 2010: I'm reading a lot of "don't abort!!" - well, the reality is that these people don't know you, your beliefs or situation. Whatever you choose to do should be your personal decision and yours alone. Please do not rely on internet strangers to dictate ... (read in full...)
Daughter's boyfriend is bad news and I don't know what to do about it!
Q. I have a problem. I have a 15 year old. When she was younger she was told she could not date until she was 16. Well she has always been stubborn since birth. Anyhow she decided she didnt want to wait and started "going with" a boy in my mothers ...
A. 25 December 2010: You may want to consider switching things up. Take your daughter to Planned Parenthood. Get her the education and the tools she needs to take care of herself. It seems like she is very interested in sex, and she probably get armed with plenty of ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to ask me out?
Q. ok, so Ive known this guy since 5th grade from band class. Im a total band geek and its my life and we have sat by each other in band everyday since then. for years we didnt really like eachother for competision reasons. but since weve been in ...
A. 23 December 2010: Do you guys go out and do stuff together? Maybe you should ask him if he wants to hang out, get coffee or go to the movies! Maybe if you start doing more things together he'll get in that girlfriend-boyfriend state of mind.
He sounds shy, so ... (read in full...)
He goes at sex really hard and doesn't stop
Q. rite im 14 year 10 and me and my boyfriend r juss the average teenagers but the problem is sex i lost my virginity to him about six months ago at a party wen we were drunk but wen we do have sex theres juss one problem for e.g we were in his house ...
A. 23 December 2010: The same guy who lies to you about protection, yes?
He doesn't seem very considerate of you at all. A guy who doesn't care about your sexual needs and protection in the bedroom is not a guy who has your best interests in mind. Maybe you should t... (read in full...)
How to I show her that I can be the man for her?
Q. I'm 29, and have been working with this girl, 23 in my office for nigh on 14 months or so. She is the most beautiful girl ive ever seen. I noticed her straight away but didn't approach her for awhile so as to weigh up if she was genuine. We started ...
A. 23 December 2010: This sounds like an inevitable mess. She knows that you like her - I wouldn't worry about that. I'm sure you show it, even though you haven't said it.
The bottom line is:
She is off limits until they are 100% broken up. Easier said than done b... (read in full...)
My feelings haven't changed and I don't want to get over her!
Q. Hi, there is this girl who I have been friends with for two years now, we have always been fairly close and we seem to connect well, but a while back I decided I should tell her I like her, but everytime I asked her to meet up with me so we could ...
A. 23 December 2010: Well, there is always a possibility! But, it seems like right now the best thing you can do is start to move on. She knows that you are interested, and it seems to me that she would let you know if those feelings were reciprocated. If you distance ... (read in full...)
Can I trust him the next time I have sex with him, especially if I'm drunk?
Q. im 14 and my boyfreind and i are in year ten and yesterday we were at a party and we were drinkin and basically we started kissin and we went up to his room cuz the party was at his house and we had sex and we didnt use protection but we had a big ...
A. 23 December 2010: No you can't!!
You should buy some protection and carry it with you!! And perhaps you need to curb your drinking a little bit so you can make sure you keep yourself safe. Those two drinks that send you over the edge and prevent you using protecti... (read in full...)
Ideas for a gift that will help Mom remember her late father?
Q. Okay so i know this is nothing to do with a relationship but i need a helping hand! My mum lost her dad 25 years ago. It will be his 25 year aniversary on new years eve and she doesnt really have anything to remind her of him. Me and my siblings are ...
A. 23 December 2010: If you and your siblings are willing to put in the time, I'm sure if you called enough obscure relatives and old family friends, you may be able to put together a little collection of memories of him. If you do some digging, maybe somebody has a ... (read in full...)
I traveled 30,000 miles to get back to a boyfriend who broke off with me!
Q. I travelled 30,000 odd miles home 2 days ago to be told as soon as I got off the plane I no longer had a boyfriend - the boyfriend I was so desperate to get home to. The boyfriend I thought about the whole time I was away. The first 2 weeks it was ...
A. 22 December 2010: GIRLFRIEND! Your boyfriend is a tool. And like YouWish said so eloquently, he is definitely going to look like an anemic Ronald McDonald.
Be around your family and friends and celebrate the holidays while also celebrating the fact that you're d... (read in full...)
Do men like lingerie or women naked?
Q. So I got some realllly cute Lingerie at Victoria Secret to wear for my boyfriend the other day and I guess the thought never ran through my head but do guy's really enjoy lingerie or are most men just all for the full blown nakedness?...
A. 21 December 2010: I think you are maybe asking if they prefer one or the other? Why choose?!??
It seems to me that lingerie comes with the prospect of nakedness? When you see something skimpy, the fun is imagining what is underneath and getting teased relentle... (read in full...)
Should I tell her parents?
Q. My best friend and I have been friends for 4 years now. And we both go to the same school. He started dating this girl that we both became really close too, and it came to the point where she fell for me over him. They broke up and we’re dating now. ...
A. 21 December 2010: Why is she not telling her parents? What do they care which one of you she is dating? Why the secrecy? Why is she not allowed to have you over when her parents think you aren't dating (what is the threat), but an ex who her parents KNOW she's been ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be in a relationship and not use tongues?
Q. This isn't anything serious - I saw a question yesterday and it got me thinking. I hate snogging (as in kissing with tongues.)I've been with my boyfriend for a while now (just over a year) and when we first started dating that's how we used to kiss ...
A. 20 December 2010: Sure it's normal!! I went through a 6 year stage of the same thing (too many bad kissers can make you go on strike), until I met a guy who knew what he was doing. Now the tongue is welcomed back, but only by those who know how to use it!!
You c... (read in full...)
I miss talking to him and wonder if I overreacted?
Q. I met this guy a few months ago after moving to a new city and we seem to really hit it off. When I first met him, I just got out of a relationship and wasn't looking for anything other than friendship. I made this very clear to him. We never got ...
A. 19 December 2010: I don't think you overreacted. I think he was acting rudely by continuously ditching you, and he didn't chase you when you left. I think I would let it go. If he comes back and is interested (and won't cancel on you), give him another chance. Good ... (read in full...)
I'm not clear about sex!
Q. Hello Dear Cupid, I am 24 years old, normally i came from an orthodox family from India. So i dont have clear about sex. Last week i had a chance to sex with my would-be. When i touch his penis, his penis erect but at the same time his penis w...
A. 16 December 2010: Also, it could be pre-cum, which is a clear liquid that comes out when he's excited, before he actually ejaculates. It's not urine, and it's not EXACTLY semen, but it can contain sperm. ... (read in full...)
Will me being a "long stayer" cause her problems?
Q. Ok, Me and my girlfriend are gonna be moving in with each other, To make the long story short. we will be having sex a lot, and I usally last about 2-4 hours, We have had sex about 3 times and we have been together for 6 months, I just want to know ...
A. 16 December 2010: Hi sweet thing,
Honestly, yes. When my fella exceeds 45 minutes, I start to get a little bit physically exhausted. If he is needing to sex me up for hours, what I prefer is he gives me foreplay all day - let me tease him before work, give him oral... (read in full...)
He's different when he's not around his friends
Q. Dear cupid. this boy ive been crushing on is not what i suspected , when he with his friends he gets high, smokes and drinks but when im with him myself and his friends aren't around i dont beileve the stuff , i know when he leaves for colla...
A. 16 December 2010: Like DrPsych says, crushes and loves come and go.
I don't want you thinking that what you feel isn't significant or isn't real, but it will heal over eventually. You will move on!!
Get out with other friends and start distancing yours... (read in full...)
Do girls look at porn?
Q. Do girls look at porn? And why are girls so shy to say they "flick the bean"? ...
A. 15 December 2010: "Flick the bean" - hilarious. Hi, Mikey - my name is Mikie too, only I'm a girl. Yes, some watch porn (also, some don't. Really!)... but maybe not at 13-15. Some girls take a lot longer to get comfortable with their body and watching porn. I know I ... (read in full...)
She's not over her ex, should I even bother?
Q. I use to be a real shy quiet guy. only really been with a girl because A: either they asked me out or B: i thought it might work... i have been in 4 relationships,first was a girl who lived 1400 miles away, we met online on an online game called ...
A. 15 December 2010: She may care for you, but that does not mean that this relationship is best suited for you both. If you feel over you head, let that be a red flag! How to break it off? Tell her that you're sorry, you really like her, but you just don't think it'd ... (read in full...)
She wants a chill date... how can I take things slowly?
Q. Me and this girl have been friends for the past 5 years we play a couple sports together and have always been close. In our freshman year of high school she came out as a bisexual. Last year I came out as a lesbian. We are currently juniors ...
A. 15 December 2010: Yes, I love Dirtballs idea! You could maybe tell her to come over and then when she gets there, you can give her her Christmas gift early - some pajamas, a robe or something comfy (go to Victoria's Secret PINK section, cute tanks + amazing sweats.. ... (read in full...)
Torn between my depressed b/f and a LD guy
Q. I am 17 and recently began going out with a boy I liked (who is of the same age). At first he was amazing and sweet and good in bed. He adored me and before the first month was ended I had met his parents and he said he loved me. But then I ...
A. 14 December 2010: You can not save this guy from depression. Depression is a medical condition that is caused by chemicals - and you can't fix chemicals in his brain, can you!
If you don't want to be with him, don't let guilt keep you there. Nobody really wants to... (read in full...)
He likes me and I want to impress him
Q. so im interested in some guy and he likes me so i want to impress him.so hes good at drawing,hes black(im mixed so dont call me racist im giving info)ive known him since kindergarten,im popular like every one knows me and hes just with the crowd,im ...
A. 14 December 2010: You could maybe ask him to draw you something? If he is an artist, he will probably love to show off. My husband is an artist and what I did when we first hung out was I drew a random line/scribble and asked him if he could turn it into a piece of ... (read in full...)
She's not over her ex, should I even bother?
Q. I use to be a real shy quiet guy. only really been with a girl because A: either they asked me out or B: i thought it might work... i have been in 4 relationships,first was a girl who lived 1400 miles away, we met online on an online game called ...
A. 14 December 2010: She does not sound like a girl you should get involved with. She sounds like an emotional rollercoaster ride waiting to happen. It is ALWAYS best to wait until someone has their heart completely free to start dating them.
I think that you should r... (read in full...)
Online dating -- did he change his mind?
Q. Hello I met a guy online on a dating site. He said he likes my presentation and profile a lot so we started to talk. The first day we talked for around 2hours and 20 min and he said some times that he likes me. He next day we talked again and...
A. 14 December 2010: Well, the thing is with online relationships is that you can't really know what's going on with him. Maybe he's been too busy, maybe he's got things going on in his personal life or maybe he's just lost interest. If he starts chatting with you ... (read in full...)
Off-Key Romance: A Sign of Incompatibility?
Q. Please help! My boyfriend has a terrible sense of what he deems as "music". He insists on singing extremely hoakey songs to me in a weird, baritone voice. When I ask him to stop he ignores me because he believes I will like it if I listen a ...
A. 13 December 2010: I think he just really likes his voice and thinks that he is impressing you by sharing his gift and what he's spent years training for a studying. Hey, if you were a master of Italian poetry, or making German pastries, or known for your moving ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend chose concert over me!
Q. Alright so there was this concert last night. Now my girlfriend had been looking forward to this concert for a while. It wasn't really a huge show....just a couple low key rappers. One of her friends bailed on her and I told her that I would go to ...
A. 13 December 2010: I'm on board with everyone else. You should be more happy that she had a nice time out. I think what you wanted was just a little more of an acting effort from her - at least ACT like she's torn between another afternoon with you or the concert. You ... (read in full...)
He keeps asking all my other friends out, but he won't ask me out!
Q. Wow i have alot of problems. Well this one is about this guy Jared. Ive been getting mixed signals and i just wana scream ASK ME OUT ALREADY!! But im afraid. I was texting him today and he made my day:D He asked me what i wanted for my b-day. At ...
A. 12 December 2010: He doesn't sound a second worth your time. If your friends and Dad hate him, you have to ask why? And he keeps on asking out all your friends, why? Do you really want a guy who has been through most of your friends who your family and friends don't ... (read in full...)
Need ideas for celebrating a two-year anniversary!
Q. It's coming up to my 2 year anniversary with my bf. He's going to come to my place after work before we go out for dinner. What can I do/ do to my room for a surprise that'll make it all romantic but not too girly? ...
A. 10 December 2010: I say get it all nice and pretty (a.k.a. clean, maybe light yourself a few candles and get some good music going), and have yourself dressed in your sexiest bra/panty set. Tease him with a little massage or dance or letting him watch you get ... (read in full...)
Where does my confidence go when I'm not on stage?
Q. I'm a singer in an R and B band. When I'm on stage, I'm completely in my element; I'm able to be confident, sexy and energetic, and people love it. The problem is that I'm not usually like that. People will see me perform and hang out with ...
A. 10 December 2010: It seems that music must move you, you're a talented musician, but you're not much of an actor. Here are two things you need to do:
1) Realize that you have to gain some interest in yourself! It's okay to be shy and a little more private. Not ever... (read in full...)
Am I really depressed about the break up?
Q. Hello everyone. My girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago and ever since, I've been feeling really low. I was speaking to a friend of mine yesterday and she said that I could be depressed because of the break up. I know that the way I'm feeling ...
A. 10 December 2010: Yes, I think you are mistaking clinical depression with just being really sad. Some people use "depressed" to mean those things interchangeably... your friend probably just meant the latter. A break up is a reasonable thing to get super bummed out ... (read in full...)
My husband likes for me to sleep with other men, I feel like I'm cheating!
Q. Hey, My husband likes me to sleep with other men. It turns him on and is his greatest fantasy. At first I thought it was really strange but I found I actually really enjoy it too. Only thing is that I generally meet these guys out in pubs and club...
A. 8 December 2010: I agree with YouWish. You might want to sit down together and really examine what the rules are... like write out lists of what fidelity means to YOU for HIM and him write out a list vice-versa. Your lists may look different, but at least you'll ... (read in full...)
How can I impress her on her birthday?
Q. i Like a Girl , the girl also Like me but only one mistake is our parents don;t like to talk.when i Was 11 years old i have done such a mistake that is why she don;t like me i don;t know what is the mistake , ON 10th of December Birthday of that ...
A. 7 December 2010: You can always woo her (without overwhelming her) with a nice bouquet of flowers. Nothing too huge or crazy. It is simple and will make her feel like a million dollars.
If you don't want to come on too strong, but still want to make her feel bea... (read in full...)
Every song reminds me of my ex
Q. I had been with my boyfriend for 15 months but we split up around 3 months ago. I thought i would be able to get over him as he cheated on me, but i cant. I have tried to forget about him, but it just isnt working, everything i do reminds me of him, ...
A. 6 December 2010: I absolutely LOVE 'anons' advice. Every time you hear a song sing along "you were a cheating bastard... i'm so glad that i'm rid of you... i deserve so much better..." and change the station.
If these songs are coming up on your iPod, then cle... (read in full...)
She dyes her hair more than any woman I know!
Q. My girlfriend seems to be obsessed with finding the right color for her hair. First she wants it darker then lighter then highlighted etc. Not only does she talk about it way more often than anyone Ive ever known but has colored it may tim...
A. 6 December 2010: No, I think that she feels like the only way she can be beautiful is to have her hair the right color. Some girls obsess with diets, face creams, whatever... most girls talk to their girlfriends about this stuff, but your girlfriend seems ... (read in full...)
Why would he want me to smoke when I clearly don't want to???
Q. hey, im 16 and my boyfriend is 19. so he smokes pot and something else called buddha bud a lot. he says he doesnt do it that much but ive noticed that its a lot. he knows i dont like it. so last night we were texting and here is our ...
A. 5 December 2010: Maybe he feels guilty that he does it so much without you and thinks that if you just start too then you'll be doing it together and it won't be a big deal. But, that is no reason for you to start. You sound like a smartypants and he sounds like a ... (read in full...)
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