A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, Im kind of new with this.So anyway, Im a 39 year old female, Im overweight, lonley, and I need to get my freak on, Im so used to my 9-5 shifts anyway Laitly Ive been turned on by animal erotica, I had a moment when I was 10 with a dog that Ill never forget. anyway Ive heard that women can put Fish up their Vagina for pleasure, Ive seen it in videos, and I really want to do it, Its ALL I can think about But I have a few questions - Can the fish get stuck?- will my Vagina reek for weeks? - what if the fish dies?- Can I get an infection?- What if it breaks in half?- Can you eat the fish after? ( Im short on $ ) - How long will it survive?- Should it wear protection?- Are there any fish I have to look out for?Horney and worried, Thanks for the help
View related questions:
overweight, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (26 August 2008):
 Hi Hun,
There is a website called Zetacreations. You can find it by googling animal dildos. They actually have a section on marine mammals, so you could have your own personal fish penis and not harm a living creature! It would seem to fit your porpoise!
Hope this helped!
Different strokes for different folks...
;-D
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2008): This is obviously a lie.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (22 August 2008):
 Sorry, forgot the conclusion. You need to find the species of fish that has no scales, does not have a mucous layer, one without sharp or spiny fins, and if it has teeth, those teeth are the pharyngeal type (in the throat). Naturally, you'll have to chose one that is appropriately sized as well. I've done all the research I'm going to do on this topic; you'll have to find the species on your own.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 August 2008):
Interesting question. Leaving aside the ethical questions for the moment, let's have a look at fish anatomy. There are 22,000 species of fish, first of all, and many shapes and sizes.
Fish have fins, with can be single along the centerline of the fish, like the dorsal (back) fins, caudal (tail) fin, and anal fin; or paired fins, which include the pectoral (chest) and pelvic (hip) fins. In freshwater fish, the fines are supported by spines that are rigid and can be quite sharp. Catfish have notably hard sharp fins that fishermen are very wary of. The fins seem to be of concern when you are trying to back the fish out, some of these fins look quite spiny and might act as barbs on a fishing hook, causing lacerations to the vaginal walls as the fish is extracted. I believe many fishermen have scars from encountering very spiny fish thrashing on the decks of boats.
Then of course there are scales to consider. Catfish have no scales, freshwater fishes other than gar have ganoid scales, the rest apparently have ctenoid or cycloid scales. Ctenoid scales have jagged edges and cycloid have smooth rounded edges. Bass and most other fish with spines have ctenoid scales composed of connective tissue covered with calcium.
I would imagine that it would be wise to avoid the jagged edge scaled fishes (ctenoid), as the scales could dislodge and embed themselves into the vaginal walls, setting you up for a painful infection. I expect though that the cycloid scales could also dislodge and as they are thin, you could wind up with those scales also embedded. They'd slice into you in a similar fashion to a paper cut, only they'd be inside and might be very difficult to locate and fish out (haha).
Now we get to the mucus layer, which covers most fishes, as the slime fights off infection. I have no idea what having that mucus inside would do to the natural pH balance of the vagina or if there are any micro-organisms (bacteria) that live in the mucus layer that might be introduced into the vagina or enter through the cervix into the uterus. Might be a vector for infection. Fishermen who catch and release are warned not to remove the slime layer, as it apparently will harm the fish later not to have that layer. So those fish will not survive the encounter with your internal anatomy.
On to the teeth. Many fish are omnivorous, eating both plant and animal matter, others are primarily piscivorous, eating mostly other fish, and there are those that are herbivorous, eating plants. Fish may or may not have teeth, depending on the species. Fish like chain pickerel and gar have obvious canine-shaped teeth. Other fish have less obvious teeth, such as the cardiform teeth in catfish--they feel like a roughened area at the front of the mouth, or vomerine teeth, those are tiny patches of teeth in the roof of the mouth, as in a striped bass. Grass carp and other minnows have pharyngeal teeth that are located in the throat. So in essence, many fish can bite, and do, if you ask enough fishermen. I shudder to think what one with nothing to lose could do to the cervix or the walls of the vagina.
[note: the information on fish anatomy comes from www.floridaconservation.org; the conclusions drawn are my own]
So it seems possible for the external anatomy of the fish to cause injuries such as lacerations or lodging foreign bodies in the soft walls of the vagina or possibly infections.
Now let's think about the ethical issues surrounding this. I agree that people do indeed eat meat and fish; however, most agree that humanely dispatching the animals involved is the ideal. For example, cattle are not partially suffocated, or nearly drowned before being slaughtered, as that would be considered torture. The abatoirs are designed to minimize trauma to the animal.
So I think again that the ideal is not to torture the animal before dispatching it. (Although there is controversy surrounding the treatment of calves for veal and geese for fois gras.)
Now there are pet shops that sell live insects and small rodents for feeding pet snakes, so you could argue that feeding live animals to other animals isn't uncommon or even considered unusual by snake enthusiasts.
I have to say that personally, I cannot drop a lobster or a crab into a pot, though I can steam clams and mussels. Perhaps it's because the shellfish are invertebrates and do not have a face. Lobsters and crabs do have a face of sorts and an anatomy that includes arm- and leg-like structures, so maybe they are too much like us for me to feel good about dropping them into the pot. I certainly have never willingly killed a vertebrate creature (hitting a rabbit with the car doesn't count). And the thought of one suffocating inside a condom inside a vagina sounds rather gruesome. But I do happily eat the meat and fish provided by my supermarket, without spending too much time worried about how they were dispatched. So perhaps the ethical question requires more thought on my part.
I expect that you should be asking this question of the people who seem to have more expertise in this area than a group of volunteer agony aunts who deal with more mundane questions of relationships, break ups and 'vanilla' sex.
Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (22 August 2008):
 Yes the eel came out alive. Eels can live for many hours without needing to breathe.
Was it happy? I don't know how you tell whether an eel is happy or not. The summary of what she said when she told me was that it seemed eager to go in, and reluctant to come out.
She gave it back to the fisherman who had caught it and given it to her. I understand there was some sort of wager involved. I didn't ask too many details.
There's something that's both disgusting and erotic about it that I can't quite get my head round.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): Hi Ms Strict, that was an interesting story, purely for research purposes you understand. Did the eel come out alive, was it happy, could it breathe, and what did she do with it afterwards?
...............................
A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (22 August 2008):
Oh good grief.
On a serious note, I have a friend who did this with a fairly large eel. I'm NOT recommending it. I would only say that she put a condom over the head of the eel (because eels exude a lot of slime), but then had great difficulty in getting it out again. She said it wriggled a lot; it was an amazing experience; it wasn't something she would EVER do again or suggest that anyone else does.
I'm sure there are risks, and I'm quite sure you shouldn't try it. It's probably illegal.
I would have thought that most fish are the wrong shape?
...............................
A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (22 August 2008):
 So she did, Eyes. My mistake. I'm always 'erring like that.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 August 2008):
 I'm sure I didn't flounder...she said so herself.
...............................
A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (22 August 2008):
Eyes!
Surely you're not suggesting that she might be a little CHUBBy?
...............................
A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (22 August 2008):
AND, I should add, when I say "a real winkle", I mean a man with a real winkle (and some mussels). Don't be so shelfish.
I look forward to hearing that you've given up any idea of doing it with fish. It would warm the cockles of my heart. Anyway, you little scampi, I suspect your question wasn't altogether serious, was it? You just wanted to make us feel like right prawns and waste our time whiting about it, didn't you?
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 August 2008):
Maybe if you started eating fish instead of screwing them you could lose the weight and maybe find a man so you aren't so lonely and maybe you could get your "freak on" with a human.
...............................
A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (22 August 2008):
Hmmm...
It smells fishy to me.
OK. I'll try to be a Ray of light, so don't be a Crabby old Trout if you think my answer's off the Scale. I'm sure the solution will surface, if you sea what I mean.
Personally, I Codn't imagine anyone wanting to do it with a fish. It's not fair to give the poor creature such a battering. I think you're way off bream even considering it. Yes, I think you could catch something - Salmonella for a start. If you think you would have a whale of a time, then you should go back to school.
All right, I know I'm Carping on about it, but the thought of you Floundering around all over the Plaice with some poor sea creature rammed up... well, it's not pleasant. Don't you have a sole?
Just mull et over a bit. See if you can find a real winkle instead.
...............................
A
female
reader, Befuddled1 +, writes (22 August 2008):
 I'd defiantly be careful...I've seen Blue Planet and some of them have big teeth!
...............................
A
female
reader, Lilly Rose +, writes (22 August 2008):
 This is sick and cruel! Do us all a favour and buy a bloody toy! and leave them poor animals ALONE!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): I'm thinking Jackie Collin's here, unfortunately I can't remember the book.. Animal sex is not fair, cause the animals can't consent.
You were right to ask for advice, but here is probably not the best place. I mean no disrespect when I say you probably need to contact a vet. Fish have short memories and if it's not hurt in anway, then it should be fine. I think in the book I read it was a goldfish. But unfortunately because you've asked to have one you can eat as well, I can't take your request for advice as seriously as I should.
Cupidguy's suggestion to fill a bath is good. But I'm frightened that it might cause you an infection. Unfortunately apart from this one book, I have no experience with this type of thing, and I'm not sure where you could turn to get the advice you need. Good luck anyway.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): hang on, so you're going to go fishing to catch a live fish ("what if the fish dies") then go and masturbate??
"should it wear protection?"!!
lol, are you going to put a condom on it or something?
hilarious.
joke thread or not, go and buy a vibrator for goodness sake.
...............................
A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (22 August 2008):
 Hey, to each their own. If this is what you want, then so be it. It's your life.
But you have to admit that this is kind of an odd request and some people might see it as a joke.
But if ask me, I think putting a fish into vagina is not a good idea. It's not because of the act, but for your health concern. It will likely give you an infection and the fish will likely die (it sounds to me like animal cruelty).
So if you decide to do this, go check your gynecologist to check down there if everything is all right. It's better to do this and prevent everything than suffer later.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUhm okay, look up animal porn, and type in fish. then tell me its not real. Im sure you are all perfect people eh.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): there's no way you are being serious....they make dildos and vibrators, and they are MUCH safer and im sure feel MUCH better than any fish! please invest in a toy rather than making a poor animal suffer for your sexual pleasures
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts a fish. FISH. Do you eat meat you hipocrit, oh think of the poor chickens, and cows for christ sakes, they have large enough brains to process whats happening where as fish will bite a hook with a worm on it over and over and over again, so in reality fishing is worse. so take your high and mighty attitude elsewhere because your oppinion is not appreciated.
and if your going to be nasty keep it in your mouth.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): This has to a be a joke. PLEASE tell me this a joke. If it's not...please just don't. Think of the poor fish for Chrissake!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts a fish, CPR. God.
...............................
A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (22 August 2008):
Answer in order:
-Yes
-Just for a couple of days
-You could give it CPR?
-Yes
-It would die?
-Yes if you are ok with the fact it was inside of you a couple of minutes before.
-Yes
-Pirahnnas and sharks.
...............................
A
male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone +, writes (22 August 2008):
 Careful q1605, you don't wanna encourage her to do something just for the halibut. It sounds like what she really needs is a good man that will trout her right.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo pun intended eh ;)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know my age says 18-21 but I just want to be young again, and Im sorry
...............................
|
