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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I found my brother and his business partner making out, they are both married, should I say something?
Q. I just went by my brother house to pick something up of mine, I have a key, so I went on in the house. When I opened the door, he was making out with his female business partner. I played it off like I didn't notice, and I don't think he or she ...
A. 9 January 2008: Birdynumnums has a good answer. I'd tell him what I saw and I'd tell him to deal with his issues. He'll expect you to side with him because you're blood relatives but that is difficult. I'm very close to my in-laws and would have a hard time with ... (read in full...)
What are men looking for when they go to strip clubs?
Q. I am a stripper, and I need to know what turns on men, and what they are looking for looks-wise, and experience-wise when they visit a strip club. Thanks....
A. 9 January 2008: Are you really a stripper? I haven't been to a club in years but I know the reasons and desires are different for all men. Most just want to see some nude women. Others want to be part of the touchy feely routine that table dancing has become.
... (read in full...)
I'm unconfident about standing in front of so many people as a model, after I have been selected by the company. What can you suggest to boost my confidence?
Q. How can i boost my confidence, i've been selected for a model comp coming up an am so worked up about it, i have never done anything like this befor, i no i am a good looking girl but standing there in front of 250 ppl or more makes me sick... i ...
A. 9 January 2008: You have nothing to worry about. Of course there is pressure but try to see it in the positive light. You've got what they think people want to see. Take it as the compliment it is and be brave. The first time will be the most difficult.... (read in full...)
Is my g/f's job a potential problem for our relationship?
Q. My girlfriend has started working at a nightclub (as an assistant manager.) Not a stripclub, but a dance club. She's a recording artist and is well known in the entertainment scene here. I'm really not interested in dating a woman who is at the ...
A. 7 January 2008: Your additional information gives much more detail. If your ideas are based on fact and not jealousy then you have an issue to deal with. If she didn't like you in that type of work the she should act in the same way.
It is difficult when you... (read in full...)
I fancy my husband's nephew, and he reciprocates, nothings happened, what should I do?
Q. My husband and I move in with his relatives and his nephew already caught my eye, like an instant casting spell. True this is not a good sign...but the plot thickens or the sexual tension or chemistry is there. Sure the nephew comes around more oft...
A. 7 January 2008: It sounds like you're going through a difficult time. The question you posted made it sound like you did not care about what was going on. You say that sugar coating our answers would be better. Why is that? Sugar coating does not make things ... (read in full...)
I woke up having sex with a friend of my FWB. I'm worried he will tell my FWB, whom I actually like!
Q. ive been seeing a guy for about 2 years he used 2 live near me when he was at uni but moved this summer, me and him are good friends and very close, and when he was here we used 2 be with each other all the time, we used to be sexual too. he's move...
A. 6 January 2008: I'd be careful about accusing anybody of rape. These things get messy. Unless you have more details about the evening, it doesn't sound like you remember everything. If the guy was drunk too, he may not remember either. In that case, who was to ... (read in full...)
Is my g/f's job a potential problem for our relationship?
Q. My girlfriend has started working at a nightclub (as an assistant manager.) Not a stripclub, but a dance club. She's a recording artist and is well known in the entertainment scene here. I'm really not interested in dating a woman who is at the ...
A. 6 January 2008: Since you don't trust her you should probably split up. Artists are usually free spirits and you've already started to stifle her growth. In relationships, we're supposed to encourage growth.
Why are you jealous? What do you think she is g... (read in full...)
Is it over before it began?
Q. I recently ran into my ex boyfriend of 12 years ago. The only other time we ever saw each other was a few years ago when we met up and visited for one night. We are both married with families but decided to meet up a few times. The last time things ...
A. 3 January 2008: Why would you seek advice about the best way to do something rotten? Why not try to figure out where your marriage went wrong? ... (read in full...)
Is it over before it began?
Q. I recently ran into my ex boyfriend of 12 years ago. The only other time we ever saw each other was a few years ago when we met up and visited for one night. We are both married with families but decided to meet up a few times. The last time things ...
A. 3 January 2008: Why would you seek advice about the best way to do something rotten? Why not try to figure out where your marriage went wrong? ... (read in full...)
If I left sex movies within reach, would my wife (or most women) watch them? I'm trying to awake her sexual awareness.
Q. If I wanted my wife to watch more sex movies would she like male masturbation movies? If I left them out within reach, would she or most women watch them? I'm trying to get her sexual awareness up. Thanks...
A. 3 January 2008: I don't think it will work. Most women, although not all, are not really very interested in porn. The marketing of all things pertaining to the physical acts of sex seem to be focused on the biggest market.... men.
Thinking like a man, you thin... (read in full...)
Should I choose the high school sweetheart or the stable friend?
Q. I am getting married in a couple of months. Today we had a high school class reunion and I saw someone I kinda liked back then. The thing is he kinda liked me too. He is still single and we started talking and I got to asking myself whether I ...
A. 1 January 2008: Si no sabes por seguro si te quieres casar.....don't do it.
Don't forget though, you will always meet people who you are attracted to. Attraction is really temporary. Life is reality and attractions come and go. Don't think that the grass is... (read in full...)
Our marriage is a breaking point. He says he would be ok if I had sex with someone else. Could that mean he's cheating?
Q. I'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR OVER SIX YEARS AND WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST TEN. LAST THREE MOTHS WE'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH HELL IN OUR RELATIONSHIP TO THE POINT OF BREAKING UP. HOWEVER WE ARE STILL TOGETHER, BUT NOW HE SAYS TO ME THAT IF I WANTED TO ...
A. 1 January 2008: Well, I'd say it's not common but there is no answer that is really accurate. Anything is possible. The fact you're asking the question tells me you think it's atrange too. Most men do not want their partner sleeping with another man.... (read in full...)
I fancy my husband's nephew, and he reciprocates, nothings happened, what should I do?
Q. My husband and I move in with his relatives and his nephew already caught my eye, like an instant casting spell. True this is not a good sign...but the plot thickens or the sexual tension or chemistry is there. Sure the nephew comes around more oft...
A. 31 December 2007: This is just plain terrible and you're getting some kind of cheap thrill out of it. who cares if you get aroused...big deal. Are you going to screw every person you meet who arouses you? Not only are you playing a game behind your husbands back, ... (read in full...)
Am I allowing myself to be abused?
Q. I am a successful business woman earning a very good living, am well-respected and have plenty of friends and good family. I live with a man that is now unemployed (for the second time in 1 1/2 years) due to the volatile automotive industry at this ...
A. 31 December 2007: Sounds like he has an issue with abuse. That needs to be dealt with first.... (read in full...)
My wife says I neglect her and that God wants to end the marriage.
Q. My wife over the last two years says I did not show her any affection. We have two children and after a days work and looking after the kids when I get home I am so tired that I have obviously overlooked her needs. She later confessed to having a 5 ...
A. 30 December 2007: A person can not claim t be a Christian, use that as a shiled and then decide to divirce. It's not that easy. It's hypocrasy acatually.
What is a five minute affair? Did she have sex in the broom closet, a kiss in the hall way, I long hug... (read in full...)
Am I allowing myself to be abused?
Q. I am a successful business woman earning a very good living, am well-respected and have plenty of friends and good family. I live with a man that is now unemployed (for the second time in 1 1/2 years) due to the volatile automotive industry at this ...
A. 30 December 2007: Yes, define abuse. It's a word that gets thrown around too easily, especially toward men.... (read in full...)
Is this weird or is it just me?
Q. Have been in an "emotional" relationship with a younger man for almost a year now (younger by 5 years. I am a married woman, he has had a girlfriend. We have been working up to finally leading to something sexual. So here's the confusing part...he ...
A. 30 December 2007: Your lack of conscience about your hurtful behaviour is the biggest problem. I wonder what your husband would ask if he were writing to this site?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going on a trip to Florida and didn't invite me to come. I'm thinking of maybe breaking up with him, but I'm scared to make a mistake then??
Q. my boyfriend is going away to florida for a week with his friend who is turning 21. They're going to stay at his other friend's apartment when they get there. We've been together for three months now and i do love him a lot but i don't think it's ...
A. 27 December 2007: The key to a good relationship is providing an environment that promotes growth for yourself and your partner. This makes a situation where everyone feels fulfilled. Fulfilled people don't seek attention outside the relationship (usually). You ... (read in full...)
He knows how important the holidays are for me, yet he chose to go on a trip with his friends and leave me behind, what shall I do?
Q. i have been dating this guy for 3 month he claims he is madly in love with me and would do anything for me but he wants to go with his friends to another country for the holiday and leave me here. Even though he knows how important the holidays are ...
A. 27 December 2007: You've "only" been dating for three months and you're already trying to control your boyfriend. That is not a good idea. People do not always do things together. Will you feel good when he is miserable because you've stopped him from doing ... (read in full...)
My husband spent the whole night out and didn't tell me, and doesn't see this as a problem!
Q. I am so mad at my husband and I am almost ready to call it quits. I would really appreciate some opinions on my situation. On Christmas Eve our neighbors were having a party. We were not invited and had no intentions on going as they are new nei...
A. 26 December 2007: You're not over reacting to his behavior. IT sounds like he got caught up in the festivities and didn't consider you and your kids. That was his mistake. He should have at least invited you over.
It also sounds strange that he would venture ... (read in full...)
Happy Xmas from DearCupid
Q. Happy Xmas everyone :-) The aunts who share their wisdom, the people who share their questions and the team of moderators who keep everything flowing onto the site! Plus the 350,000 people who visit each month Have a great Xmas! Feel free t...
A. 26 December 2007: Merry Christmas...Happy New Year or what ever you celebrate. My wish for the world...be open minded and respectful of others. Peace.... (read in full...)
Who do random people always stare at me, everyday? Sometimes I accidentaly flirt with them, though I don't realise. Is this a cause?
Q. I get this like almost everyday, including going out in publics and where i attend school. i get people from both genders looking, glancing, starring,.... at me. I just mind my own business like everybody else. I also get the same reaction...
A. 25 December 2007: What is your idea of flirting? My wife gets people of both genders looking at her all the time. She is a very stunning woman and people have even approached us (strangers), asking if she's a model. She takes it all in stride.
Why does it ... (read in full...)
A female co-worker was not happy with my drunken behavior at the Xmas party! I apologized but she avoids me now..advice?
Q. I'm a happily married man 39yo. I was working with a really nice woman of similar age and we got on like a house on fire. There was a lot of relationship type hinting going on. Then came the X-Mas party. She ran up to me when i appeared and we ...
A. 24 December 2007: The problem began when you and the woman got along like a house on fire. Both of you had that "feeling" of what could happen.........
The thing is....you're not available. Although it's easy to fall into the trap, you jumped in willingl... (read in full...)
Should I have no-strings sex? I'm married, this colleague is leaving work after New Year and I will have satisfied my curiosity!...
Q. Hi, I am married with two young children and I have recently met a guy through my new place of work. He is also married with 3 children and we are both after the same thing - some no-strings sex. I have only ever been with my husband and I think I ...
A. 21 December 2007: Let me add one thing....in case I wasn't clear. Let me be blunt. Do you want to lose everything you've got just to have another man stick his penis in your vagina. Break it down to what it is. Two people take their clothes off because they're ... (read in full...)
Should I have no-strings sex? I'm married, this colleague is leaving work after New Year and I will have satisfied my curiosity!...
Q. Hi, I am married with two young children and I have recently met a guy through my new place of work. He is also married with 3 children and we are both after the same thing - some no-strings sex. I have only ever been with my husband and I think I ...
A. 21 December 2007: This would be a dirty, rotten, cheap, irrational, horrible, despicable, shallow, hollow act of betrayal. Use your head and keep your legs together.... (read in full...)
Taking care of my wife's mental and physical problems, I needed a holiday. During the travel I fell in love with a woman, but I don't agree with affairs. Confused!
Q. I have been in a relatinship for 18 years, for most of which I have been looking after my partner for both mental and sever physical illness. Although she is now semi recovered I am very tired both physcally and emotionally. We also have a two year...
A. 21 December 2007: You have taken care of your wife and paid a price for that. That is what you're supposed to do when you're married. Try to look at this experience in another light. You say you are emotionally drained. Let this be the wake up call t get your all ... (read in full...)
I had brief intercourse with a stripper during a lap dance... should I tell my wife?
Q. I’m felling real guilty about what happened to me at a strip bar. I’m a happily married man, ten years married with two kids. I go to strip bars, my wife lets me and its never been an issue. She goes out with her friends too, and admittedly been ...
A. 21 December 2007: I'm not sure if the question writer understands his mistake. Actually I don't even think it's a true question. What I will say is this, the mechanics of what happened and that fact you were turned on is unimportant and to be expected. We're wired ... (read in full...)
I had brief intercourse with a stripper during a lap dance... should I tell my wife?
Q. I’m felling real guilty about what happened to me at a strip bar. I’m a happily married man, ten years married with two kids. I go to strip bars, my wife lets me and its never been an issue. She goes out with her friends too, and admittedly been ...
A. 21 December 2007: Are you sure about this, it does not ring true to me. I've been to strip clubs too, and we've got the real deal here in Canada. First of all, I can't imagine the stripper putting it in you for fear you'd cum. That would be the last thing she'd ... (read in full...)
Should I go for therapy or separation?
Q. Hi. I have been married for 8 years. My wife was a virgin at 23 when we married (I was 30 when we married). We have not had sex for 5 years because of lots of reasons (too many to get into here), but I have looked at pornography out of frustrat...
A. 17 December 2007: It's difficult to give any advice when you just throw the five years without sex into the question without any explanation. That might have something to do with the over all dilema.... (read in full...)
I've just found out my partner of 4 years is cheating, I don't want to leave him and give the mistress the satisfaction
Q. I have just been told that my partner of 4 years has been having an affair with someone from his work for over a year. I have had my suspicions and have asked him but he has always denied anything has been going on. He is always very loving towards ...
A. 15 December 2007: This is simplistic, but what did she "win" and what do you end up with if he stays with you? He is the booby prize !! As tough as it may be, you have to make your point to him. Also, although she is doing something wrong by "trying" to ruin your ... (read in full...)
Scared to ask my husband for more children!
Q. I have been marrried for 7 years and have a 3 year old daughter. Before I got married I told my now husband that I wanted children. He said he was not interested in having any. I told him I couldnt marry someone who didnt want children. To c...
A. 11 December 2007: You knew his views before you married so you should repsect them. That doesn't' mean you can't ask though. It just means that you had a deal and he might not be willing to renegotiate...again. You can ask and see what he says. Let him know your ... (read in full...)
He fought with my husband over me years ago,now we both fancy each other, its not working out with my husband, what should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a married woman who is very confused. I am very attracted to a man that used to be friends with my husband. They were college roommates and actually got into a physical fight over me years ago. However, the guy(we'l...
A. 10 December 2007: So what will you do if you decide to be with John and you meet the next attractive guy....leave John? And the next one, and the next one.....Relationships are not all about attraction, it's about what you build over time. If you jumped ship every ... (read in full...)
Why is he talking to me with his wife so close...?
Q. Met this guy a little over a year ago, became friends, then lovers about 4 months ago. He said if he got feelings he would cut them off. I never asked anything of him as we are both married. Never said love but both say there are emotions involved. ...
A. 8 December 2007: Actually maybe you're using each other. Why are you playing this silly game and why do you feel your feelings deserve respect? There is no honor among thieves and although you're not technically thieves, you are stealing another persons happiness. ... (read in full...)
I think I want to break up, but he becomes very emotional when even talking about it. What can I do?
Q. i have been dating a man now for six years. Two years ago he moved in with me. He is so totally needy and becomes very emotional if i ever mention breaking up. I am not working at this time and am not able to support myself so i admitt i depend on ...
A. 7 December 2007: I'm not sure he is as needy as he is possessive or jealous. You should not continue to put up with his demanding interrogations and disrespect. IT sounds like he's treating you like a child. Is he the violent type? He needs to understand that ... (read in full...)
My husband has sex dreams every night and I am upset!
Q. My husband has strange bedtime habits - insight would be greatly appreciated. When he falls asleep he very often starts moaning, making noises like he's enjoying sex, occassionally he mutters something, and he is clealy in a sexually arroused state. ...
A. 6 December 2007: Come on everyone....he's sleeping !!!!!!It's not like he can control it. I'd like to hear how to control these actions...... (read in full...)
Is my wifes' self esteem really the issue?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 4 years. We have been together for the better part of a decade. My wife has been sexually and emotionally unattentive to say the least, for a few years now. I understand that sex declines with the length of a ...
A. 6 December 2007: It sounds like she knows what the issue is but has not reached the bottom yet. Does this self esteem problem affect her in other ways? As long as you allow her to get off the hook, she'll not make the big effort to change. I don't say that with ... (read in full...)
Anything meant by this?
Q. a woman i have seen a few times who works in a cafe, that has glanced at me not a lot before.........started glancing at me today, a lot! thing is she hasnt spoken to me or looked at me like that before......she sort of looked at me and then walk...
A. 6 December 2007: Was your zipper open? That could explain everything.....Actually, who knows. Strike up a converstaion with her and see where it goes.... (read in full...)
I think I want to break up, but he becomes very emotional when even talking about it. What can I do?
Q. i have been dating a man now for six years. Two years ago he moved in with me. He is so totally needy and becomes very emotional if i ever mention breaking up. I am not working at this time and am not able to support myself so i admitt i depend on ...
A. 6 December 2007: You say he is needy and at the same time you have no work or money and you can't afford to support yourself.....is that not being needy too. If you want to break up, do it because you're unhappy with the relationship,you've tried to salvage it, and ... (read in full...)
We never wanted this to happen...but now neither of us can bear to break it off.
Q. Hi, I am semi-happily married and have fallen for another girl. This girl is also happily married and she has fallen for me. Neither of us went looking for this since we were both in seemingly happy marriages. Now my marriage is under strain a...
A. 6 December 2007: What makes you think you're not cheating??? You're up to your eyeballs in deceit and emotional infidelity. Any advice about your second point would make only help to make you more selfish than you're already acting. You need to give your head a ... (read in full...)
I lied to her trying to catch her out but it all back fired... she wasnt cheating and she now thinks I'm a liar
Q. Hi, me and my girlfriend have ended up on a break because i accused her of cheating. i found evidence and she has been catching up a lot with old (male) friends so i got jealous. I lied to her trying to catch her out but it all back fired. she ...
A. 5 December 2007: You say you have money problems but that sounds like it was an excuse for your snooping. How do you connect money problems to cheating? What was the lie and what did you do to break her trust?... (read in full...)
He keeps looking at younger women. Should I be worried here?
Q. I'm 52, slender, and youthful looking for my age. (So I'm told) My boyfriend is 12 years younger than me, but he looks the same age. He is wonderful in a lot of ways, but he is always looking at younger women. Once I noticed that he had an ...
A. 4 December 2007: On the surface, from what you said, it sounds like they're a little too friendly. It's hard to say though because I don't know you and it's possible you are too worried about nothing. We all tend to put our own spin on things. Why do they talk so ... (read in full...)
He keeps looking at younger women. Should I be worried here?
Q. I'm 52, slender, and youthful looking for my age. (So I'm told) My boyfriend is 12 years younger than me, but he looks the same age. He is wonderful in a lot of ways, but he is always looking at younger women. Once I noticed that he had an ...
A. 29 November 2007: As I mentioned to you before, most men don't get erections by "looking, noticing " a pretty woman. Adjusting oneself is something we do from time to time. I think you're reading too much into this.... (read in full...)
He keeps looking at younger women. Should I be worried here?
Q. I'm 52, slender, and youthful looking for my age. (So I'm told) My boyfriend is 12 years younger than me, but he looks the same age. He is wonderful in a lot of ways, but he is always looking at younger women. Once I noticed that he had an ...
A. 25 November 2007: Are you sure he had an erection? Most men don't stand around i public with a big bulge in their pants. You might have been wrong. As for looking at other women, that will never stop. That is natural and normal. Attraction is like candy for the ... (read in full...)
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