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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I can't let this man go now he has awoken so much in me...what can we do??
Q. I have been married 9 years and have 2 children. I fell out of love with my husband long ago. I met someone else 6 months ago and he awoke something in me i didnt know i had anymore. I haven't slept with my husband in 3 years. I have kissed a...
A. 10 February 2008: You didn't mention what work you did on your marriage when you realized you were falling out of love. What steps did you take? If you stand back and look at your situation, it unfolds like all the others. Sometimes people pass the point of no ... (read in full...)
I am willing to have a secret affair with a co-worker (we both have troubled marriages.) Please advise.
Q. I am 34 years old, married for 6 years, with 2 children. My husband and I have began on a rocky road. His family caused alot of trouble between us the first 2 years. We finally got past that, only to run into financial trouble. My husband is a ...
A. 9 February 2008: First of all, the status of this man's marriage is none of your concern....period. Do not use that to bolster, justify or minimize your actions. You say you had a meeting with the other adulterer that got hot and heavy but you didn't have sex. ... (read in full...)
She's married with kids! Am I nuts for wanting her?
Q. it may seem crazy at my age! and i'm not sure what it is but it hurts so much, i want so much to be with a woman i have know for so long now but she is married with 2 fabulous boys and i can't tell anyone but i want to tell the world, i could go on ...
A. 3 February 2008: The biggest thing to understand here is this.....what you want is really not important in this case. You should be respectful of the fact she is a married woman. End of story..........I want the wealthy guy's sport car on the next street, too bad ... (read in full...)
He sabotages my efforts, and the time I spend with my kids! Is he abusing me?
Q. My boyfriend and I are having huge problems. I think he's abusing me.(not physically but emotionally)He's 50. And I am finding out he has some possession and control head problems. These issues seem to come out more whenever my family come around. ...
A. 3 February 2008: I wouldn't throw the abuse word around too much. If you're smart enough to see that he is controlling, and you continue to allow it to happen, it's a choice you've made. He can't be nasty if he's not your boyfriend. You have the power to end this ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get my wife to want me?
Q. Okay, so I've been on here before, seeking help because my wife has (what I consider to be) a low sex drive. Some background...she's 25, I'm 32 and we haven't been married long at all, and we only met a few years ago, but we've never had a heal...
A. 3 February 2008: I wouldn't tell her you want her to be your whore, that's for sure. By the way, I remember when you posted here originally. It's been a while.
I have feelings about this topic that I strongly believe. When you have two people who are at oppos... (read in full...)
He found messages from another guy on my phone, but I'm innocent, how can I get things back to normal?
Q. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about two months (I’m 27, he’s 25). Everything has been going really, really well, until about 3 days ago. He went into my cell phone and found text messages from another guy. There were two series of ...
A. 1 February 2008: Who was the guy? I can understand that you had no intentions of going out with this other guy but why didn't he know your relationship status? If he does know your relationship status, he's showing no respect. You are not obligated to be ... (read in full...)
I really love him but cant take anymore lies...is walking away the right thing??
Q. I have been in a relationship with a married man for the last 4 years. Initially we started off as friends but became much more than that. He was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a very controlling woman. They were supposed to be ...
A. 1 February 2008: The only person who really has claim to this man's attention is his wife. She is the only one who has the right to question his intentions or integrity. When you assume the role you've taken, you get the scraps. Unfortunately, as time goes by, ... (read in full...)
Am I right in thinking my husband might be having an affair with a co-worker?
Q. My husband has been a bit distant from me and he's been more into his job lately. I have this gut feeling that is starting some relationship with a female co-worker of his since he used to just call on a break to say hi and that has stopped and says ...
A. 31 January 2008: He shouldn't kick you, that's for sure. Since nobody knows you, we don't know where you're coming from as far as his cheating goes. You should have waited until your had proof. When you say you "confronted" him, was it totally a verbal ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a high sex drive, its driving me crazy, is there something wrong with her?
Q. this is a question mostly for the ladies- how high is your sex drive? I am asking because I am with a girl who is just about insatiable, we've been going out for three years and she's ALWAYS after sex. All the time! In the beginning we had it two o...
A. 31 January 2008: I can only imagine what the aunts would say to a guy who wanted sex 3 times a day.....Let's be honest, if this lady wants sex 3 or 4 times a day, she must have some sort of issue going on. On the scale of normal, it's off the chart. Since sex is a ... (read in full...)
Concerned about people who sleep with those who they know are mairried.
Q. Why is it that advice given to a mistress is way off it seems that people do not want to hurt these people's feelings. Well as for my husband's affair there was no feelings pure anal sex is what she promised online and that turned out to be a ...
A. 31 January 2008: I would suggest that if you're trying to forgive your husband, you should avoid this forum for a while. Not that there is something wrong here but you have to realize the situation. "IF" you have chosen to try and forgive, it could be a bumpy ... (read in full...)
I want to move abroad with my daughter. Where do I stand legally in regards to her father?
Q. Hi i want to take my daughter to live abroad.Iwas not married to the father however he is on the birth certificate,how do i stand legally?...
A. 28 January 2008: How does the father feel about you leaving and what is his role in his child's life life? Does he pay support? Is he active in the child's life?... (read in full...)
I love my married soulmate, but he is married and not to me!
Q. Well....I met my soulmate backin 1994. He was determined to get my attention, and when he did, we were instantly in love. We were both young, I was 17 and he was 19. Of course, at the time, I had no clue he was my soulmate, but did know that I ...
A. 28 January 2008: "I do not want to be the demise of his marriage"....Did yo have a tough time saying that? What would you describe your role as. if not one of the major contributing factors to the demise of his marriage. Why ae you listening to all his belly ... (read in full...)
Love question about being happy in relationships
Q. Is God really wants us to be happy with someone? if its true ,why are there so many people divorcing all the time. It's almost looks like ,that is not really the game,of happiness, but more of the game of misery. Love is so beautiful., but the end ...
A. 28 January 2008: I don't think God has anything to do with it. Many people are happy who don't believe in God. There are many people of many religious backgrounds that are happy and unhappy.
Marriage is about compromise and realistic expectations. It is a hug... (read in full...)
I'm disgusted... I found a fake rubber vagina in my bf's closet!
Q. I found a fake rubber sex toy resembling a woman’s vagina in my boyfriend’s closet! I got furious at him and threw it at his face and said “What’s this?” He got angry at me back and said it wasn’t my business, and he had it long before he knew me. ...
A. 26 January 2008: First of all, to the anonymous poster, cheater is a lot less than penetrative sex. Holding hands with another person behind your partners back is cheating. That is not debatable. If' you're doing something secretive, it's cheating.
As for the ... (read in full...)
Survey: who initiates sex more: men or women?
Q. Just curiousity! Who initiates sex more? the man or the woman?...
A. 25 January 2008: I guess it is different for everybody but I would bet my last dollar it's men. I'm certain that men are the ones that think about it more even if they don't initiate every time. If we initiated every time it crossed our minds, you'd be less than ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my bf several times as he's not contributing to the household, now I suspect he read my private emails! What should I do?
Q. I recently wrote an email to a guy I was seeing in the summer before I got back together with my on again off again bf. There were somethings that were said that was just for him but it was very platonic and i wished him all the best. The next ...
A. 25 January 2008: He sounds like a he's not carrying his weight. You also sound like you were having an inappropriate email exchange with your old boyfriend and you got caught. You don't like the fact he snooped but you really don't like the fact you got caught. ... (read in full...)
Concerned about people who sleep with those who they know are mairried.
Q. Why is it that advice given to a mistress is way off it seems that people do not want to hurt these people's feelings. Well as for my husband's affair there was no feelings pure anal sex is what she promised online and that turned out to be a ...
A. 25 January 2008: The world would always be better of if people did the right thing. It seem shard to do though and people seeme more interested in what suits THEM at the moment. They don't think about what they're hurting. Do on to others etc........ (read in full...)
Concerned about people who sleep with those who they know are mairried.
Q. Why is it that advice given to a mistress is way off it seems that people do not want to hurt these people's feelings. Well as for my husband's affair there was no feelings pure anal sex is what she promised online and that turned out to be a ...
A. 24 January 2008: I never defend people who cheat. I actually have some comments written in the Article section about the topic. People can be very selfish and greedy. People who are not in love don't not understand they damage they cause when they put a wedge ... (read in full...)
In a relationship for two years, still happy with him... But there's somebody else. I don't know which one I want. How can I decide?
Q. I'm in a 2 year relationship with a lovely guy. He's caring and we have a lot in common in terms of our principles,and I would have always said that we loved each other and saw our future together. We have complete trust which I know is really ...
A. 24 January 2008: It's possible your boyfriend shouldn't trust you so much. I'd bet that there is some sort of strong flirting going on between you and the other guy. It's natural, to some extent.
You will always meet people you're attracted. The problem ... (read in full...)
How do I transform my love feeling into a friendship, as I do not wish to have an affair?
Q. I have been happily married for 15 years and I felt in love in a colleague in the past few months. Hopefully, he doesn't share my feelings but he enjoyes having lunch with me. How do I transform my love feeling into a friendship. I would like to ...
A. 23 January 2008: Stop fooling yourself and having lunch with him. Stop trying to view this like a Hollywood movie and see it for what it is.....cheating. You are emotionally involved with this guy and your lunches are more like dates. I bet you look forward to ... (read in full...)
Does my bf mean it when he says he trusts me?
Q. Hello, sorry for how long this is first of all! I've been with my current boyfriend, officially dating for a few months now so not that long but we were seeing each other for a little while before this. However, when we had just started seeing ...
A. 23 January 2008: When you're kissing a random guy, don't you think that is a pretty good sign of encouragement? If I were a guy that would be encouraging. Your boyfriend feels insecure because you are still attracted to the guy and he knows you were getting with ... (read in full...)
Can marriage work after an affair?
Q. I am a 49 year old MM and fell for an attractive 47 year old divorcee, after having a bad spell in our long 20 year marriage. We shared an intense relationship for a few months as "soul mates". I called it off when I realised I would not leave my ...
A. 23 January 2008: Marriage is like a car, it needs long term maintenance. Why are you willing to nurture another woman but not your wife. You know if you're seeing the other woman, you'll be doing all the sweet things you probably don't do for your wife.
It's ... (read in full...)
Does my bf mean it when he says he trusts me?
Q. Hello, sorry for how long this is first of all! I've been with my current boyfriend, officially dating for a few months now so not that long but we were seeing each other for a little while before this. However, when we had just started seeing ...
A. 22 January 2008: I knew what getting with someone meant but some people make it out to be something really casual. Only time will tell if he trusts you. It' something you have to earn back. He has reason not to trust you though. The other guy has reasons to ... (read in full...)
Does my bf mean it when he says he trusts me?
Q. Hello, sorry for how long this is first of all! I've been with my current boyfriend, officially dating for a few months now so not that long but we were seeing each other for a little while before this. However, when we had just started seeing ...
A. 21 January 2008: What does "getting with" mean? What did you do with him?... (read in full...)
Why do men engage in extramarital affairs? Love? Pure escapade?
Q. Is a man who engages in an extramarital affair usually in "love" with the person with whom he is having the affair, or does he "just want to have an affair", meaning there is no emotions or love at all?...
A. 21 January 2008: People cheat because they are missing something in their relationship at home. I think men are more capable of casual sex than women, generally speaking, although happy men wouldn't usually cheat. When the spark of a marriage starts to die and ... (read in full...)
I'm not getting enough sex from my partner and an ex wants to see me. What do I do?
Q. Hi I am a highly sexed 25 year old and preferably like to have sex every night however my boyfriend (who's 40 by the way) of six years (whom I do love so much) has recently started a job with a contractor and has to work Monday right through to...
A. 20 January 2008: This does not sound like a real question. If it is, you need to get a grip on your feelings. You don't sound like you really value what is important in life. How often are you having sex?... (read in full...)
How can I get to accept that there's no future in this?
Q. OMG I am a mess. I have know this lovely woman for several months but both she and I are in long term relationships of our own. My problem is I Can't get her out of my head and see her several times a week. She has said no to a relationship bey...
A. 20 January 2008: Good uck with your efforts. One point to concentrate on is is that the feelings are "yours" and are not shared by her. You could really start to scare her. You both have a lot to lose with your partners and if she feels thrreatened, she may feel ... (read in full...)
Politics is coming between us. What can I do?
Q. Help! I’m in a little trouble here with my wife and politics. I’m a republican and conservative and I plan on voting for a republican candidate in the primaries and eventually the November vote. My wife is a strong supporter of a certain candidate ...
A. 18 January 2008: It sounds like her issues might be getting out of control or perhaps there is something else going on in her mind. If it is as you say, she's really going too far and it doesn't sound rational. Are you sure you're not baiting her into discussions?... (read in full...)
How can I get to accept that there's no future in this?
Q. OMG I am a mess. I have know this lovely woman for several months but both she and I are in long term relationships of our own. My problem is I Can't get her out of my head and see her several times a week. She has said no to a relationship bey...
A. 18 January 2008: Her biggest mistake was telling you she didn't want a relationship beyond friends. When she fully understood what your hopes were she should have built a 10 foot high wall between you and her. You don't want to be friends and you can't, t this ... (read in full...)
I fell for my doctor, then he went cold on me, I still obsessed with him, how can I figure out what was going on with him?
Q. It's been a couple of years since I saw him last but I still think about him from time to time and wonder why he treated me as so. I was pregnant with my 3rd child. ( We lost my 1st when I was 6m. pregnant due to a severe abnormality)He treated me ...
A. 17 January 2008: Really, you're in there to see him about your health and your child's. Why are you ruminating about these what ifs? You're making a mockery of your marriage. Some attention felt nice, big deal, that's normal. But at a time when you should have ... (read in full...)
How do I walk away from someone I love so much?
Q. hey, i wrote in a cuple weeks ago asking should i stay or walk away from my married boyfriend, the thing is. i got 1 reply saying stay, i saying leave and 1 saying run. the thing is i no he's not happy where he is. i no he's not. if you read my f...
A. 15 January 2008: If you don't want to have bad breath, you shouldn't eat garlic. IF your "boyfriend" wants to have a good marriage, he shouldn't date another woman. One plus one equals two....somethings can't be avoided. You say he's not happily married. If you ... (read in full...)
He disrespects me and I hit him, Now what?
Q. Well this is my third post regarding my fiance...He gets upset over everything...says i reject him for ex...new years day morning...he called to see if i wanted to come over for breakfast. i told him i wasn't hungry but that id see him soon (in ...
A. 14 January 2008: Nobody should hit anybody, that includes you. Without splitting hairs, you should have left his house when he told you to go. He could have called the police and they would have arrested you. It's difficult to grasp how severe this was. I mean, ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this younger guys infatuation??
Q. How can I help a guy half my age who is completely infatuated with me get out of this?...
A. 13 January 2008: It's possible reason you feel the need to "help" him is you actually enjoy it. That is your way of continuing the contact. I'm sure on some level you enjoy the flattery. If you didn't want it, you'd just ignore it. Why is this your obligation?... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife I saw her holding hands with someone else?
Q. Okay, I've been wanting to ask someone about this since it happened, but there's no one I could really bring it up to, so I guess I'll use this forum. A few weeks before Christmas, my wife, a good friend of ours and I went Christmas shopping. My ...
A. 13 January 2008: They certainly wouldn't try to get away with anything in the mall knowing you're there too. Having said that, unless he is a gay buddy of both of you, I would not be happy about it. Unless they were goofing off and acting silly, it doesn't make ... (read in full...)
Have been trying to lose weight but my partner is unsupportive!
Q. I have been desperately trying to lose weight since the birth of my son 5 years ago, when I gained a hefty 30 kgs. I have lost 12, but have struggled to lose anything else. Recent blood tests revealed that I have Insulin Resistance and a sluggish ...
A. 12 January 2008: You've identified that you have some issues you're dealing with. That is good. You say you have s sluggish thyroid, pmt and you leave the room when he snacks. Although it might be nice if he didn't snack, it is your problem, not his. As a couple ... (read in full...)
My husband is a lovely man but we have become... companions. Facing a new start at this age is frightening, what alternatives do I have, you think?
Q. Am in the middle of a divorce have been married for thirty years to a lovely man. However we have been just friends best mates now for apprx 5 years. I cant imagine what life will be like without him but also know if we dont end this now I will ...
A. 12 January 2008: "He lets his daughter talk to you however she wants"...No, you let your daughter talk to you however she wants. You might just be using that as a weapon in your arsenal against him. It's just one more thing you can use to bolster you're ... (read in full...)
I always "freeze" when having to take the conclusive steps to end my marriage, because of the abuses. What to do about the indecisiveness?
Q. I really need help to make a very big decision - that is to leave my husband. I am 35 - no children. What I guess I am asking is why I have deliberated over it for so long when the evidence that we are not right for each other is so obvious. I ha...
A. 12 January 2008: I would never suggest that you end your marriage without trying to work it out in therapy. NOBODY here should tell you to end your marriage because we don't know the entire story, we'd only be getting your side. That would not be fair to your ... (read in full...)
The thought of making love to my husband repulses me. Should I end the marriage?
Q. I have been married to the "perfect" man for 15 years. We do not have children together (he has had a vasectomy) but he has children from his first marriage although they are now grown up. I have a job that I love (fitness instructor) but does not ...
A. 12 January 2008: You feel guilty because you see that he treats you so well. Have you done the work to figure out why you're unhappy? From what you've said, you're the one with the issue and you're choosing to run away without attempting to fix it. To me, that ... (read in full...)
I want to know what the limits are in a heterosexual female friendship in regards to physical contact?
Q. How close should best friends be without looking wierd? How to show our love as friends, but not in any sexual way. In regards to: - hugging - kissing -holding hands - sleeping together - wanting to be close to each other - etc....
A. 12 January 2008: Well it sounds to me that perhaps the people involved are actually homosexual. These are supposed to be all the things people do before they actually have sex. Why does this person feel the "need" to be so close to a friend. You say you don't ... (read in full...)
Should I take the course with all the cute guys on or should I go with the guaranteed A??
Q. This may sound like a stupid question but I just started school and at one of my classes there is this really cute guy I saw. He saw me too. I know he likes me too. Anyways, there was cute guys in the entire class. I was smitten. The only problem ...
A. 10 January 2008: Don't worry about the guys. They are still there whether you take the class or not. You said one even noticed you already. Strike up a conversation with him and then drop the class. You've made your connection and go from there. Maybe there ... (read in full...)
I found my brother and his business partner making out, they are both married, should I say something?
Q. I just went by my brother house to pick something up of mine, I have a key, so I went on in the house. When I opened the door, he was making out with his female business partner. I played it off like I didn't notice, and I don't think he or she ...
A. 9 January 2008: Birdynumnums has a good answer. I'd tell him what I saw and I'd tell him to deal with his issues. He'll expect you to side with him because you're blood relatives but that is difficult. I'm very close to my in-laws and would have a hard time with ... (read in full...)
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