A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I’m felling real guilty about what happened to me at a strip bar. I’m a happily married man, ten years married with two kids. I go to strip bars, my wife lets me and its never been an issue. She goes out with her friends too, and admittedly been to male strip bars a few times too. That’s not a big issue with us.But this last time I had this stripper do a lap dance with me in a private room. Of course you get an erection, that’s part of it; she was feeling it and got turned on. Well during the dance she actually unzipped me and pulled out my penis! What was I to do? Throw her off me and protest? Well I could not stop her...she straddled me and inserted me inside her! It didn’t last long, but there she was riding me for a couple of beats, not even a minute. No I didn’t cum, but came very close. The dance was over and I paid the standard dance fee, and we parted ways.First of all I didn’t ask for this kind of dance, I know she got carried away, we hit it off, and she liked me. She knew I was married. Please don’t judge me because I was basically raped for what it worth! My buddies who went to the bar with me know all about it. They know I’m mortified with guilt about it. They tell me I should forget it and not tell my wife about it. But I’m feeling guilty about it. I know I wasn’t asking for that…it was enjoyable, but I didn’t want it! I know this is isolated and I have never cheated or wanted to cheat on my wife. I know that’s not going to happen again…that kind of thing never happens, until now.I want to know if I should I tell my wife about it? I know this will kill her….I don’t know if this break us up. We are very happy together, and I never had an issue like this come between us. Of course I was worried I might have caught something, and I got tested, all clean.In my mind I didn’t cheat….or did I? What should I do?
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erection, lapdance, married man, my penis, stripper Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): ok no problem you have understood thankyou love mandy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (29 February 2008):
 I accept your apology. I was raped at 15. It takes a big person to apologize.
Can we end this now?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have already apologized for the rape comment, but it probably was lost in all the messages ...I know it was stupid to say that. I hope you can forgive me for that. It was dumb, stupid and you can hang me for saying it. But again I say I am sorry for using that word and implying that my situation was rape...it clearly was not, and I am admitting it. I do deserve to be stoned for making a stupid remark. I am Sorry!
No, I was not raped and I was WRONG and insensitive to true rape victims for saying it. I AM SORRY!
I want to make this absolutely clear! I AM SORRY!
After being mischaracterized as this evil JOHN, the least you can do is accept my apology if nothing else. Judge me for all the evil if you will, but I did not intend to hurt the feelings of rape victims in making this statement.
I would like at one at least one responder to accept my apology. I am not this evil insensitive monster. We all make mistakes. I made a mistake. I AM SORRY!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): Yes I bloody agree with love-him 110% Ive been raped love and It was not in a lap dancing club and I said no about 20times and he stiil continued and I had to then plan my get away by calming myself down so he would stop hitting me and then when he saw id calmed down suggested we carry on in another room!!!!!!!! I managed to escape the toilet I was trapped in and with no underwere and no shoes ran as fast as I could, You have no idea what rape is none what so ever, Im older now and have come past this experience but for the young girls on this site who are still dealing with it you sound hurtfull and stupid and disrespectfull and a bloody fool who is trying to convince himself he did nothing wrong to his wife
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reader, love-him  +, writes (29 February 2008):
 I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD EVEN BE COMPARED TO BEING RAPED.. I WAS RAPED WHEN I WAS 12.. RAPE IS WHERE YOU SAY NO! YOU SAY NO TO THEM DOING IT AND YOU DO PROTEST TO IT! WHERE YOU SAID ''What was I to do? Throw her off me and protest? '' YES YOU SHOULD HAVE THROWN HER OFF YOU AND SAID NO!!
calmly.. after reading this, i actualy think you should not tell your wife, and look at the definition of rape. Your story made me upset, not because i feel sorry for you, because i am so angry you actualy reffered yourself to being raped.
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female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (29 February 2008):
 and fyi, it says "ask for advice". IT IS AN ADVICE FORUM. not a general question and answer forum. you clearly do not know what the site is intended and have no intentions of using it for what it is meant for, you are attacking people and being far too personal and i have reported you. and i hope others will follow suit.
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female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (29 February 2008):
and how EXACTLY do you know what goes on in these places nowadays?
you remind me of one of those anti-gay groups who overly protest against gay people because they cant face up to the fact that they are gay themselves.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): HiThis is soo funny you just have to laugh you both sound like an old married couple.Agree what yes I think you have cured him, John hope you have learnd the leasson.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear What,
You bore me.
If you were my wife I really would be spending half my life in strip bars....which I don't, but you can't read english, can you? Is it because you're Canadian?
But keep talking. Everytime you reply you make me look better. Wow...now i dont feel so guilty anymore!
Next time you have to preach make it shorter and to the point. No i didnt read you latest replies. I've been nice about reading what you said before but now you are just talking into the wind and nobody's listening! Are you kidding! Don't you have a better use of your time?
ENOUGH!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): Your wife is too trusting. You are a sad man having to go to one of those sleazy dives, but to do what you did is sick. Rape? you don't know the meaning of the word.
Strip clubs are for dirty sad old men. Strippers ARE prostitutes, they get paid to take off their clothes and god knows what else.
Have some self respect, as for your wife, she should be told.
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female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (26 February 2008):
oh and to the person who asked for the advice in the first place: I'm glad you have been able to move on from this and put it behind you. Also, I too refered to you as "john" but i meant it in a broad term as in, it could be any Tom, Dick or Harry in your situation. But re-reading what "what" wrote, i'm guessing calling someone A john can be a derogetory term? never heard of that and it looks like she meant it in a totally different context to how i meant it. just clearing up that trans-atlantic slang-barrier!
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female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (26 February 2008):
woah woah woah woah WOAHHH! What: i'm sorry but i gotta butt in here. That's not advice that is an attack. And you are being unbelievably ignorant about strippers. I know strippers. They are good girls who work nights at strip clubs to pay for the university courses they work so hard at during the day. One of them is graduating this summer and will be a lawyer, another graduates in december when she will be a fully qualified nurse.
They are not prostitutes and your description of what their work involves is so far off the mark i didnt even read all of what you wrote! This particular stripper who John writes about crossed the line and could lose her job for having sex with a customer. Your ignorance is astounding and your answer was not helpful or contributory at all.
"She first sexually arouses the JOHN by stripping then by rubbing her naked body all over the JOHNS face and genitals. If agreed upon he can touch, kiss, fondel, suck and lick her breast, butt including the anus and Vigina."
that is a blatant lie. NONE of that happens in a reputable strip club.
i took extreme offense to your answer, so i can imagine how John felt at your attack on him and i'm astonished your answer was even published. the rest of my opinion on your narrow-minded, never-made-a-bad-decision-in-your-life, better-than-everyone view on other peoples lives will be made clear in a private message.
peace and love
Brooke
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear What,
i got respect for what you have to say, but i seriously think you are over-dramatizing the situation here. I already told you its resolved now and yesterdays news. You talk about women being the object of hatred but all I heard in your reply is pure hatred not only to me, but to the women who work in strip bars like they are prostitutes. Hey, I'm no angel and neither are many of the woman that work in this business, but to call me a John and them prostitutes is going way to far, and shows me that the real hatred comes from YOU. What happens in these clubs is more innocent than you want to believe, and what happened to me was isolated and one questioner even doubted me…that’s how isolated a situation it happened to be. These women are not in this business like slaves... They are in this job because they choose to do it, and they make good money doing it. The conduct that men have in strip bars is enforced by bouncers who watch over these women constantly. If you do step over the line, you get kicked out. This not a situation of men abusing women. And if it ever happens it is stopped on the spot.
More real abuse to women happens in real marriages and relationships not strip bars. You should be talking about battered wives. You should be talking about women who are beaten by the monsters who happen to be their boyfriends or husbands. Children are abused by bad parents too, and the abusers, women included, should be locked up for life in my opinion.
So after all your name calling and hatred spewed, what you fail to understand is I do love my wife more than you will ever know, and I respect her and would never harm her the way you seem to characterize me. I would never harm or abuse my kids. You are talking about some other guy, not me. If you walk into my shoes you know I’m not this monster you made me out to be.
And these women who work in strip bars…show a little respect for them. They happen to be average women who have kids and are trying to make a living and do some good in their lives. Lets be a little nice here. Your rant reminds me of the freaking church lady wanting to call everybody Satin. You got problems lady, it ain’t me.
You can hate me all you want. I don’t have to apologies to you, and I don’t have any shame, and I’m sorry if that bothers you. Save your hatred for someone who really deserves it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): If your wife is agreeing ,with letting you go to strip clubs, she should be ok with the rest. That relationship, is not too healthy to me, if you need to have this kind of excitement. I advise you to look into your own life, and see if you have any problem deeper down .. Maybe you are not in the right place right now. Take care
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female
reader, hello1 +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Sounds all good, the reason I wanted you to tell her is because I don't feel you can be trusted in a strip club. As your not going there anymore, I see no problem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, just wanted to say thank you for the responses. After weighing all sides I decided it wasn’t worth worrying my wife over it, so I have swallowed my guilt and decided to keep this quiet forever. The reason I’m not telling her is because I love her. Whether or not our marriage survives is not the issue. I just don’t want to hurt her, that’s all. It is over and it won’t happen again. I haven’t gone back to that place. And I’ve only spent time in those bars with my friends, which has been just a couple times since that happened. The guilt is gone, my wife and I are happy and that’s in the past, and I’m not looking back. I think I did the right thing.
But I wanted to address one thing that I got beat up on in regard to a dumb statement I said that what happened was “basically rape.” I did overstate that. That came out wrong and I deserved the beating. I didn’t say it was rape but “basically rape.” I never called myself a rape victim and maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned that word. But as it happened I did not want to have this intercourse, and I don’t care what anyone thinks…it happened in the heat of the moment…this girl was on top and she did surprise me. Sure I could have shoved her off, but she could have called a bouncer and things would have blown up and who knows what. Yes I did freeze up there...so kill me. Fact is if I wanted to I could have taken it further then there and met her in a more private place to finish what was started. I didn’t. If I really were out to cheat on my wife I or any other guy would have taken advantage of this. I don’t expect a pat on the back for not taking advantage of this, but at least consider that.
I do know the definition of rape and sexual assault. This wasn’t rape. Maybe I will call it a “semi-involuntary sexual encounter.” If I offended anyone by using the rape word, I’m sorry.
Was it cheating? I can still debate it. Was it rape? Definitely no! Am I ever going to tell my wife about it? Never. I already learned my lesson, and not only will it never happen again, I’ve become closer and nicer to my wife and things are already better. That’s all that matters.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): I think all the female opinions about how much control men have our sexual drive should be taken with a grain of salt. It's quite self-righteous of them to presume to know how much control men have. There is a reason a sex-hungry woman can easily get laid, even if she's unattractive...As far as whether or not you cheated, only you can answer that. Unfortunately, there is no black and white. Personally, I tend to think that when I masturbate to porn that is a form of cheating. I am stealing something that really belongs to my fiance. But, I am not critical of people who have other views. I only use what applies best to my own life.The overarching issue here, however, seems to be your feeling of guilt and your desire to rid yourself of it. I certainly do not hold with the idea that you should simply "tell her if you love her." Open communication is a necessity in an adult relationship, but you have your wife and your children to protect. If you can honestly say that telling her is the loving answer, then by all means, do so. But, real love would certainly necessitate honest self-appraisal in search of the answer to the question, "Am I telling her out of love, or just to relieve myself of guilt?"
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): Yeah, bro. You cheated. But everyone makes mistakes. You made one by going to the strip clubs in the first place. Those things are bound to happen in strip clubs, no matter who makes the first move. I hope everything works out with your wife, but you should tell her if you really love her. If you love her, there should be no lies or secrets. You should be able to tell her anything. And no, you aren't a rape victim. You weren't exactly forced into having sex with her. She didn't exactly hold you down, tie you up, or hold you at gun point to get some. It was just an honest mistake by both parts...or, like the person at the top said, some dancer trying to compete with the other dancers to get her customers to come back for more, which is disgusting. Though it isn't fair to judge you, only because too many people in this world cheat anyway, you must own up to your responsibilities because you are a man. So be a man! Man up, and own up to your own mistakes!
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female
reader, louloublahblah +, writes (15 January 2008):
Hi Mr Errection,
I am an exotic dancer. I feel disgusting when some horny men pull their penis out when I have a lap dance with them or in the room. I normally jump out of their lap and make a sign so the camera could recorded the violation the club's rule so we have a reason to kick you out before the time out and I have a chance to work with a clean and behave customers and still get your paid. In your case, i don't think that the dancer she was so horny like you think she was ..that her job to make you to believe. she took a big risk for big tip and try compete with other dancers and build her own customers to be back in dirty nasty way and that not even a minute and that could cause a death sentence for you and your wife if you get caugh by HIV or other desease as she does that to every customers for her own sickness making mad money that way.
I won't blame on you for that stupid moment, any horny guy could take that advantage when they paid and have some alcohol and put them in the dark room with beautiful girls and music on and that lucky day they get a dancer converts to be a hooker. If next time that happened...jump out of her and make a sign being unzipped with angry face to the camera if you can...go out and find the management and talk being rapped and you don't need that kind of dance and the dancer was violated..you may get a big money and a free room dance since club hates that troubles.
You don't need to tell your wife as you know what would be happened to both. Just don't let it happened again so you don't have a chance to regret or bring desease home by a hooker. Think ten times when you put your penis to a "strange hole". It could be a poisont snake waiting for the attack..
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reader, 4U2NV  +, writes (5 January 2008):
Ok HERE GOES, 1stly Don't you dare compare yourself to a rape victom, coz you coulda stopped it, 2ndly DON'T Lie, You Wanted it otherwise you woulda put you dick back in your pants and and went Home. and 3rdly YOUR wife deserves to know, after what you have done to her, you can atleast do this one thing for her And TELL HER.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): Why would you want to hurt her?
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female
reader, eyesramazing +, writes (24 December 2007):
What you did was wrong. It IS your fault that you allowed this to happen. Hanging out with the guys and taking in some scenery is one thing... and face it... we can all get sex anywhere, anytime. You thought with the wrong head. Not only did you do your wife wrong, you did your kids wrong too. Ask God for forgiveness, don't let it happen again, and NO you should not tell your wife. Be a good husband and father by being faithful and loyal. How would you like it if she had done that? What if someone did that to your daughter or son? Ever heard of Kharma? Pray it doesn't happen to you.
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female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (21 December 2007):
I dont think you should tell her. But only because she doesnt deserve it, not to keep yourself out of trouble.
You could've said no. If it really did happen the way you say and this girl randomly decided she wanted to have sex with you (which should get her the sack btw)then you still could have stopped it. You are an adult male, not a child. You have control over your own body and what happens to it. If you dont want someone touching your penis...tell them! dont let them! you are blaming her to ease your own guilt but it is not her fault. she is not the one who has the wife waiting at home.
but if you really are completely sure you would never cheat again then dont tell your wife. she obviously trusts you very much since she lets you go to these places and you will hurt her more than you can imagine if she knows what you have done. if you can honestly promise YOURSELF it wont happen again then you should spare her the pain because she will only have your word for it and that may not be enough for her.
but stop going to these places. dont put yourself in that situation again.
take care
brooke
x
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): Yes, you did cheat. You are an adult married male (over 40!?), and you had self-control...plain and simple.Listen, the other Aunts are right. Just stop doing the 'strip club' thing with your friends. It obvious that self-restraint is not a strong character trait of yours. Just happening to be in a private room with a lap dancer, was not an accidental event. There was clear intent, to get your rocks off and this dancer complied...simple as that. So I view it this way. You are a man who instead of building on a marriage of integrity based on solid trust, you have found a unigue way to destroy and demean that very committment and the promise you made to your wife and family. A good , secure, loving marriaige based on respect doesn't need or desire this type of activity.. It's time to start being more responsible man, one with some integrity.. Please take all your excess energy which has been used to derail your sense of commitment with seedy strip clubs and dancers...and begin putting more of that focus into your marriage.
Every single day, your first responsibility is always, always to your wife and family. But now, you've sexually penetrated a women whose sexual history is something, you have no knowlege of. It was unprotected sex. Don't have sex with your wife until you are proven 'totally and completely clean'. As said before, it takes a series of blood tests to ensure you will not pass on a deadly virus to your wife. If you have children, you don't want to risk their Mother becoming ill and suffering a deep, unrelenting loss. You did a stupid thing at the risk of endangering your life, your wife's life and the deep love, in your marriage or do you even comprehend the damage? If you don't, then you are a man with little conscience and i have to stae with sadness, "people are what they choose to do." Be a man and tell your wife what happened and ask for her to forgive you and promise you will never go into strip bars...or make inane decisions to have private lap dances. That all was well within your control. Work through the discomfort and self-humiliation of facing up to what you did. It will not be easy, because you have to face up to YOU, but it's the right thing to do. After doing that, both you and your wife, recommit to living a good, solid life together and start the process of growing up, becoming other involved people and act like a committed married couple. Stop this childish behavior of visiting strip bars and begin to practise something called ...marriage.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (21 December 2007):
 I'm not sure if the question writer understands his mistake. Actually I don't even think it's a true question. What I will say is this, the mechanics of what happened and that fact you were turned on is unimportant and to be expected. We're wired to become turned on. The problem is the lack of respect you showed your wife by allowing it to get to that point. As it was unfolding, you should have put the brakes on. You watched it coming and didn't stop.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): Er... my advice would be to not go to strip clubs x
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female
reader, LULU'S Advice +, writes (21 December 2007):
 First of all,yes you could have pushed her off you,got up,pulled up your trousers and left.Second,if you had been raped,you definately would have known about it.I think this time you've over stepped the mark.It's entirely up to you whether you tell your wife or not.From personal experience,honesty is not always the best policy,but if your wife hears about it from some one else,she will read more into why you didn't tell her straight away.If you have a strong marriage and this is the first,real mistake,then I'm sure you'll be able to work through it but be prepared for trust issues for quite a while. xx
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reader, Serinity +, writes (21 December 2007):
 It amazes me how all the male responses to this post act as if this is no big deal and that it's normal for this kind of situation to happen when going to a strip club. 1st of all, your wife must obviously trust you if she's going to allow you to go to a stip club. After all, it's supposed to be a look but don't touch environment. I think I speak for all of the people who have been violently raped (AGAINST our will) when I say it absolutely disgusts me that you can even relate your situation to being raped. You were excited, you didn't try to stop her, and if she hadn't stopped on her own, you probably would have finished your business. If your situation were considered rape, then we'd have a lot more rape victems in the world. It's not rape unless you decline the invitation to have sexual intercourse and are forced to do it anyway.
In my opinion you are both wrong by going to strip clubs, period. In the bible it states that when your married, even the THOUGHT of adultry is a sin. But if that's the kind of marriage that you have then so be it, that's your decision. But you crossed the line when you LET that slut touch your penis, and you breached your merital vows.
Should you tell her? Of course you should. But will you? Probably not, because your more concerned about her reaction and the punishment that you may have to endure. That's your decision to make. Just remember, we all have to answer to God one day. And if you don't confess your sins and ask for forgiveness, you will be judged for them.
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (21 December 2007):
I don't think you should compare yourself to a rape victim. Yes, you should have stopped her the minute she started unzipping your pants. What you had was a consensual act, not rape.
Should you tell your wife? Yes. Will she understand? I don't know but your marriage will suffer a lot more if she finds out from somebody else. You need to take some responsibility for your actions and in the future I think you need to avoid these situations.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): I'd probably be more concerned with catching a disease right now. DO NOT sleep with your wife until you get tested. Cause if she finds out you cheated and at the same time finds out she got a disease, that's going to ultimately devastate her.
First things first, you should go get yourself tested.
But look I don't know your wife. She sounds really understanding as she encourages you to go to strip clubs and the like. I mean that is something I would never forgive you for. But that's me. Your wife sounds like a totally different personality.
Anyways, of course you should come clean.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): If you were raped, you woudlnt be feeling guilty...but you ARE feeling guilty and its because you werent raped. I think you know what you LET happen was wrong, thats why you feel so much guilt. You never said 'no' did you?
You said 'what was i suppose to do'? Well you could of said no for starters and even pushed her away...its not like your a poor innocent 15 year old girl with no muscles and there is this older strong man on top of you...no its more like the other way around! A rape victim doesnt enjoy what happens to them- you got the point where you were about to cum....
Im sorry but you have to come to the realisation that you let this happen and you cant blame the stripper. I dont know if they are even allowed to do that, as far as I know, they arent suppose to...but either way...you cant blame her for you not saying no and trying to put a stop tto it. Sure you may of never planned it, but the fact is you didnt control yourself in the heat of the moment.
I would say this is cheating, no doubt about it.
Should you tell your wife? Well if you dont, this guilt will be you forever, it wont 'wash away' in a few days...unless of course you are a heartless person...but im sure you are not. I think its best to tell your wife. Sure life may be very hard for the two of you once you tell her and you might even break up, BUT if you dont tell her life wont be 100% rosey either, this guilt will make yo miserable and you might even be constantly worried she will find out. So I think you should tell her despiteh how hard it will be.
If you decide not to tell her, I think it would be a VERY bad idea for you to continue going to strip clubs...since you coudlnt control yourself and even if you think you can...its highly disrespectful to your wife.
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (21 December 2007):
Are you sure about this, it does not ring true to me. I've been to strip clubs too, and we've got the real deal here in Canada. First of all, I can't imagine the stripper putting it in you for fear you'd cum. That would be the last thing she'd want to happen in the middle of the strip club.......Anyway, you put yourself in a bad situation and let this happen. Nobody is to blame but yourself. This type of thing is what strippers do for a living, you knew that. Of course you cheated. If your wife went to strip club and some stripper slipped his penis into her while he was sitting on her lap, would you consider it cheating?
Also, HIV, to my knowledge, takes a few months to show up in the blood. If you went for a test right away it might not be accurate.
If as many people know about this as you claim, the secret might get out. I'd tell her.
Don't go to strip clubs anymore. You can not control yourself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): I have recently discovered my fiance had a similar encounter with a lapdancing 'hostess' while getting a'massage'on a stag do with friends in E Europe over the summer. He claims he didn't ask for anything more but didnt' stop her when she touched him in more intimate places. There was no penetration and it was manual relief with oral lubrication and that it was not to completion(or so he says). He says it's never happened before or will again (of course he does!)and that he was very drunk and not thinking straight. He claims he put an end to it within minutes. He says he loves me and that it was a mistake that lasted a few minutes (!) and should never have happened. We are due to be married in the near future and the only reason he told me is because he has discovered he has gonorrhea and I need to get tested. I'm devastated as I've never had reason to doubt his fidelty in the 10 years+ we've been together. I've had no issue with him visiting lap dancing places on this basis and would never have imagined he'd cross the line. I now find myself doubting him and our entire relationship and wondering whether this '5 min mistake' is indicative of bigger things...especially since I don't know what I can believe anymore. Assuming what he says is true and it really was a matter of minutes am I justified in questioning our relationsip/marriage or is this an overreaction?
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female
reader, hello1 +, writes (21 December 2007):
Well I wouldn't tell her IF you stop going to strip clubs, she trusted you and you betrayed that trust. You also may see that stripper again. If you still want too go then your wife has a right to know what happened.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): I wouldn't tell your wife if it was me. Like you said you were basically raped, so its not your fault. Its a once of mistake and you said its never gonna happen again so just forget about it and move on from it.
Does your wife know you go to these bars by the way?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (21 December 2007):
 This is up to you. It's something that should not have happened. You ask us not to judge you for it, but you're judging yourself. You need to read the post you wrote and come to realization of it not being your fault then forgive yourself for this. Realize in the future stripper + lap dance could = trouble.
I don't know how long ago this happened. You said you were clean. Get checked again 3 months, 6 months and 12 months. There are certain things that could be caught which have a delayed detection. That way you could really make for sure.
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