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Should I have no-strings sex? I'm married, this colleague is leaving work after New Year and I will have satisfied my curiosity!...

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 December 2007) 14 Answers - (Newest, 24 December 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *elyah01 writes:

Hi,

I am married with two young children and I have recently met a guy through my new place of work. He is also married with 3 children and we are both after the same thing - some no-strings sex. I have only ever been with my husband and I think I am just a bit curious - what do you think? The guy is leaving my place of work in the new year so it wouldn't be awkward afterwards.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007):

It is only natural to want to know what it would be like to have sex with someone else. Even though it is no strings sex, there must be some problem with your relationship that you would even think of it. I am married and had a no string sex with a married man. It became something more and now there are feelings involved and this been going on 4 years. If there are no problems at home, you better make sure you can look your family in the face afterwards. You have to make sure this is something you can deal with because the rest of your life is a long time to hold this inside. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007):

Wonderfully well said, Eddie.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (21 December 2007):

eddie agony auntLet me add one thing....in case I wasn't clear. Let me be blunt. Do you want to lose everything you've got just to have another man stick his penis in your vagina. Break it down to what it is. Two people take their clothes off because they're horny, he gets an erection and sticks it into your vagina. You two moan, jerk and romp about for a few moments. You clean up the mess, go your separate ways and live with the fact you cheated for the rest of your life. That is sex. Take the rose colored glasses off and see it for what it is. I can only imagine how much you've insulted your husband by carrying on with this guy at work. I'm sure you've been acting like a teenager for a while now. Marriage means something to many people. If it means nothing to you, leave the kids with your husband and let them find someone who is in the "family" game. Sex is minimal when compared to the entire scope of marriage.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (21 December 2007):

eddie agony auntThis would be a dirty, rotten, cheap, irrational, horrible, despicable, shallow, hollow act of betrayal. Use your head and keep your legs together.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007):

Why would you do this to your children? Can you honestly look into their eyes after you cheat on your family & feel ok about things?? If yes, then you're soulless. I can't believe you're even asking us this question, because it;s prety obvious we are going to say no don't do it, you're married with kids, he is too. And how would you feel if your hubby did this to you for some "no-strings sex"? When you say I do, it is supposed to mean more than that. Unfortunately, a lot of people forget thier vows that they said in front of God.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007):

From another point of view. I was 18 when my mom had a "no strings affair." I totally lost respect for her. I felt like it wasn't just my dad she betrayed, but our family as well....It felt like she was willing to throw away our whole family on something meaningless...

I would have rathered the affair had meaning...or not just a "no strings" fling, because at least I would have known that she broke up our family for something she was passionate and devoted to rather than a fling...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007):

Stupid is as Stupid does,Yes,Why not? So you'll have something to regret the rest of your life. Me I would rather Jack-off than just be using a loveless,human body,be it male or Female genitals.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007):

DONT DO IT!

My husband and I were each others first and only, being brought European I believed in the I will save myself for my man....well my husband got curious and did it, had an affair. I found out guilt on his part was loud,, have to say I am very heartbroken, I am trying to forgive but the great love I felt for him no longer there I truly know I could of done better, even though I love him,,,but this is how I feel now,, my two kids have never been the same with him not to mention the rest of family who cant bearly look him in the eyes.....Not worth it unless, you think you can live with the guilt...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007):

Uh, don't do it. No strings? there are always strings attached to everything. You will die knowing you were nothing more than a ------. That's a big string! uh, seriously, don't cheat on your husband and kids.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007):

it's not worth the guilt you will feel afterwards. It seems like a one time thing, but who knows how it will affect you? Also, men are men-you haven't had that many partners but I have-and there isn't much difference except the newness of it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007):

Well for 30mins u are potentially risking everything!

So some questions u should ask yourself...

What happens if i get caught?

There is no guarantee that u will not get caught...and if u do u are gonna break so many hearts including both sets of children and your husband! And also imagine how u will feel with gossip at work/friends/family!

will u be able to look your husband and children in the eye afterwards?

How much is this curiosity actually worth?

How would u feel if your husband did this to you?

What if this guy wants more?

U say you've only just met him...what happens if he then blackmails u for more! Or maybe you might want more yourself...do you really want to go down this path?

Some of these things may sound unlikely but there is still a possibility it could happen...think very long and hard! Believe it of not this could be a completely life altering decision!

Good Luck

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (20 December 2007):

kenny agony auntIf you can live with yourself after sleeping with this other guy then go for it. But think seriously before taking this leap, you are ultimately going to be decieving your husband, and your 2 young children. And whats to say its not going to materialise into a full blown affair, just because he is leaving your work don't mean he might not want to hook up again. My advice would be not go through with this, once he leaves your place of work than terminate your contact with him. Your marriage and kids are an important part of your life, don't risk losing it all over 20 minutes in the sack with someone else.

Good luck x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007):

there might be no strings attached and you'll be 'safe' afterwords that no fuss will be caused by anyone, but from my experience.. the risk is that you will feel estranged and will have a lot of questions to ask yoursef, a lot of things on your conscience. do you think it's worth it? It depends on what you value the most: the things,the ideas that you built up with your husband,your 'universe', so to speak, or your search for yourself. Ask yourself, after the 'lie-in' happened, what will you have achieved and learnt out of it?

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (20 December 2007):

Danielepew agony auntI believe only you can answer your own question. Think about it.

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