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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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He suggested that my passiveness in intimacy makes him feel as though he forces me, I feel so stupid every time he brings this up!
Q. Hi, i have been seeing my boyfriend for about 6 months but i have always been quite shy about initiating sex and initiating kisses etc. i don't know why it makes me nervous, but it does. Recently my bf says he doesnt like having to initiate ...
A. 19 April 2008: I'd like to add one more thing. Another poster said "you are who you are and he should love and respect that" That is kind of like lollipops and rainbow talk. Yes, we are who we are....so what. Sometimes we need to adjust who we are and how we ... (read in full...)
He suggested that my passiveness in intimacy makes him feel as though he forces me, I feel so stupid every time he brings this up!
Q. Hi, i have been seeing my boyfriend for about 6 months but i have always been quite shy about initiating sex and initiating kisses etc. i don't know why it makes me nervous, but it does. Recently my bf says he doesnt like having to initiate ...
A. 19 April 2008: It's really off base to say your boyfriend is looking for a "slut element". What he has told yo is simple. He needs to know that your are actually craving sex with him as opposed to only tolerating it.
He'd like to know that once in a while yo... (read in full...)
Am I wrong in how I am handling this?
Q. A few months ago I hired a new assistant that is a very young attractive single woman. I attend many trade shows to meet our customers and I think its a good idea for my assistant to come along too once a year as a learning opportunity. I brought ...
A. 17 April 2008: This is very common in the Latin culture. Men often have women on the side. It's just the way it is. Mexico also tends to be a very class conscience country. Perhaps your wife sees her as a subordinate who doesn't deserve this attention. Watch ... (read in full...)
My partner of 4 years is very controlling about everything even down to what we eat!
Q. My partner of 4 years is very controlling about everything even down to what we eat. We recently split for a couple of weeks when i found out he'd looked at porn on the internet. We got back together after talks, because I'd seen what he'd looked at ...
A. 17 April 2008: I need some more information. What does he control and why would you throw out a relationship because the guy viewed porn? Shouldn't you talk about it first?... (read in full...)
I am so devastated that my husband has been looking at porn
Q. I am so devastated that my husband has been looking at porn...I have read all the advice I can find and realise that there are many different opinions on it...but for me its a non negotiable issue. Sadly I had been very cear with my usband about ...
A. 17 April 2008: I'd like to add one thing. How is your sex life? You mention that you don't think your husband would choose your body type if he had his first choice. That is very common and possibly true. As we get older, it might get worse. That is when the ... (read in full...)
I am so devastated that my husband has been looking at porn
Q. I am so devastated that my husband has been looking at porn...I have read all the advice I can find and realise that there are many different opinions on it...but for me its a non negotiable issue. Sadly I had been very cear with my usband about ...
A. 17 April 2008: 99% of the people in the world are with partners who are not a physically attractive as other people. If I am not the best looking guy in the world and my wife finds another man attractive, that doesn't mean I'm not attractive.
Why did you feel... (read in full...)
My wife 'claims' to be interested in sex - but her actions do not at all reflect that claim...help : )
Q. I have been with my wife for 8 years (married for four of them) and until recently she was almost never interested in sex. In fact, it was a source of great tension and naturally moved into the shadows due to her apparent lack of interest. Now she ...
A. 15 April 2008: I've kind of learned the same lesson. Often, the person with the lower sex drive can not explain why they won't/refuse/resist/can't be bothered etc. to pick up their sex drive. I maintain that if they have any sex drive at all, and they enjoy sex ... (read in full...)
Attracted to a Married Man - we both talk about how we are married to the wrong person, what do I do?
Q. Hi all I have been married my for six years now but I have been with my husband for over ten year. Well I met this guy at work about seven years ago. The first time I met him, I knew he was someone special. Him and I talk on occasion but never...
A. 13 April 2008: You do what is right. You do not start another romance with a married person. This makes tings worse, not better. I understand what you're saying and you deserve to be happy. If the marriage si that bad, maybe you should get out of it, the ... (read in full...)
Attracted to a Married Man - we both talk about how we are married to the wrong person, what do I do?
Q. Hi all I have been married my for six years now but I have been with my husband for over ten year. Well I met this guy at work about seven years ago. The first time I met him, I knew he was someone special. Him and I talk on occasion but never...
A. 13 April 2008: Of course he should help. I think you need to get some counseling as a couple before its too late.... (read in full...)
My husband is wonderful but I can't help seeing this guy outside of work! Anyone else have this problem?
Q. I have been married for almost 2 years (no kids) and am completely in love with a co-worker. He has been married for 8 (2 kids). We both knew we were married and could tell that we had a thing for each other- while traveling for work we ended up ...
A. 13 April 2008: I am standing and applauding the answer by q1605. He left no stone unturned and exposed, very eloquently, how people rationalize what choices they make. People can reason anything into reality.
Why are you making little jokes with this married ... (read in full...)
One for the guys..What's your favourite sexual position?
Q. For the guys here...I am just curious what is your favorite sex position? I think that a lot of guys like the woman on top but I'd like to hear guy's opinions. Thanks!...
A. 13 April 2008: I don't care about positions. I'm happy if she's in the same room....... (read in full...)
This curiosity I have about my husband and his co-worker is driving me crazy!
Q. My husband has a co worker at work. I am not saying anything is going on between them it's just curiousity for the moment. I noticed that there are a considerable amount of text to and from her. Even one text was in reference to a job and she was ...
A. 13 April 2008: I have female friends I'm comfortable joking with that someone could misinterpret if they didn't know me. It also depends on the status of their "acquaintance". Referring to someone as "baby" suggests a very friendly, easy relationship. It could ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't pay me compliments because, he says, I don't accept them. I feel ignored and unattractive.
Q. My husband and I have been married 10yerars and have beautiful children. I get upset because my husband never compliments me...ever....yet he often has eyes for other women when we are out and enjoys looking at the women in porn....I have told him I ...
A. 13 April 2008: Without knowing all the dynamics of your marriage it's hard to say what the main issues are. Marriage is not supposed to be perfect all the time and always requires maintenance.
What you're going through now is the beginning of a potentia... (read in full...)
Attracted to a Married Man - we both talk about how we are married to the wrong person, what do I do?
Q. Hi all I have been married my for six years now but I have been with my husband for over ten year. Well I met this guy at work about seven years ago. The first time I met him, I knew he was someone special. Him and I talk on occasion but never...
A. 13 April 2008: I'd like to hear your husbands side of the story. Why would th kids want to live without him? IF the kids are making the mess, why don't they clean it? Does your husband work? You call them "my" kids, are they not his children too? What does it ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that I am seen as flirtatious and probably giving off wrong signals to people?
Q. My friends are always teasing me by saying how I always seem to have so many admirers, even when some of these people are just simply being friendly to me. However, after one ocassion when someone had stopped by to say 'hi' and chat to me, one ...
A. 13 April 2008: A lot of it depends on the situation. Who is he guy and where did you meet. I have certain rules that I try to live by. Of course this is also relative to your marital status. If you're single, it's nobodies business.
If you meet a guy in a... (read in full...)
Attracted to a Married Man - we both talk about how we are married to the wrong person, what do I do?
Q. Hi all I have been married my for six years now but I have been with my husband for over ten year. Well I met this guy at work about seven years ago. The first time I met him, I knew he was someone special. Him and I talk on occasion but never...
A. 13 April 2008: You need to be grounded. You're chasing rainbows and not likely to find what you really desire. What type of man cheats on his wife? What type of man approaches a woman he apparently respects,meaning you, and then tries to horn in on your ... (read in full...)
There's nothing going on! How do I make him trust me and put his mind at ease?
Q. My boyfriend of 4 months just broke up with me. I’m 26 and he’s 24. The reason we broke up was because he thought I was cheating on him with a coworker (technically my boss, but I do not report directly to him). I travel a lot for business and he ...
A. 12 April 2008: As a man, I'm not sure I would be thrilled if my wife was away with another man. At the same time, what are you supposed to do....quit and stay home to appease your boyfriend. Imagine if someone asked you why you didn't go to the big ... (read in full...)
Should I cut off my cheating ex boyfriend from my kids? He broke my heart in pieces!
Q. I met this guy in 2004. He already had a girlfriend but said that he really did not want to be with her. I never expected anything to come from this relationship and when I was ready to stop communicating with him he kept calling and harrasing. ...
A. 11 April 2008: Question...if I walked up to an 90 year old woman and punched her in the nose and stole her money, would you feel good if I decide to take you out for dinner with the old ladies money? If not, why would you feel good about having sex with another ... (read in full...)
I'm in my own private hell over a married man I never let into my life. Why does doing the right thing hurt so bad?
Q. I am married. I began to have feelings for another man who is also married. He approached me for a relationship but I said nothing, not wanting to hurt him but also not wanting him to know about my feelings. I just could not bring myself to betray ...
A. 10 April 2008: Attractions will come and go. Some are stronger than others too. This is normal but can also be very painful to your partner should he find out. Actually, he may ave had his own at some point.
You're lucky that you've identified your feelings... (read in full...)
Why does she hang out with married men? I trust my hubby so am I wrong to be concerned?
Q. I need some advice. I am 31 yrs old, my hubby is 35. We have a one year old daughter and we have lived out of state from our family for approx 2 years. I am a stay at home Mom, and my hubby works outside the home. He has made a lot of friendships at ...
A. 10 April 2008: I think, unless you have other clues, you're WAY off the mark. Where would you suggest this woman eats...in the corner, in the bathroom or at some table by herself? The truth is, you might not trust your husband as much as you say. If you do, why ... (read in full...)
I fell in love but found out she has a daughter from another relationship! How can I look at her the same?
Q. Dear friends out there, thanks for all the great advice you are giving to the world because it's helped lots of people, me included. However, I have one very disturbing situation that I have gotten myself into unintentionally. I fell in love wit...
A. 9 April 2008: Let's imagine you get married and you die three years later, leaving your wife with a 2 year old baby. Does this make her nay less worthy of love because she has a child...your child. She had sex and became pregnant. You've also had sex with her. ... (read in full...)
In love with my 'Doc', we're both married but I think he wants more. What should I do?
Q. I've been in love with my doc and we have become frineds over the last 6 months. He's called me a few times and I see him out and about sometimes. I've known him for 8 years. We are both married, but I think he wants something more and I know I ...
A. 5 April 2008: First of all, you're not "friends". That is not the definition of a friend. A buddy,pal,friend etc would hope for the best for you, your family and your marriage. (and visa versa) You seem to be two people acting like teenagers hoping to exchange ... (read in full...)
Why am I seeing so many underage people asking for advice about sex?....
Q. Why am i seeing so many underage people asking for advice about sex?....do they not have responsible parents anymore?....I know there is a lot more pressure to perform nowadays, unlike when i was a teenager, but it still dosent explain it to me, do ...
A. 5 April 2008: Another problem with answering young people is the fact that many times they will only hear the answer they're looking for. They seek permission for certain behavior instead of validation. It's good that they ask about things, but in reality, we ... (read in full...)
Why am I seeing so many underage people asking for advice about sex?....
Q. Why am i seeing so many underage people asking for advice about sex?....do they not have responsible parents anymore?....I know there is a lot more pressure to perform nowadays, unlike when i was a teenager, but it still dosent explain it to me, do ...
A. 4 April 2008: It is a good question and I always avoid them. I don't think it's a great idea to give minors advice about such things. There are some pretty strange people out there, including I assume, some of the aunts. Although some minors may need advice, ... (read in full...)
A girl I dated 20 years ago contacted me through a website...
Q. Two months ago a girl I dated 20 years ago contacted me through a website. I'm 38 and she is 36 now. We haven't been in touch since then although we've been looking for each other for years, and after just a few weeks of email and chat we're in love ...
A. 16 March 2008: The fact that you believe you were actually in love after two weeks tells me a lot. Stay out of her marriage. Your opinion of the status of her relationship is jaded and self serving. She was bored with her marriage and started looking up old ... (read in full...)
Mixed signals from a man
Q. Hi, I recently met this guy, a model/actor at a party. At the time I was seeing someone else so didn't really pay much attention to him. He started texting me and I thought he was a bit of a jerk. Then something happened, I'm not sure, but I starte...
A. 15 March 2008: If he is of the arty ilk, he might one of those people on the fringes. They quite often march to a different beat. They sometimes think in very broad terms. He probably gets attention from lots of women if he's a model too. Be careful.... (read in full...)
It would be difficult to leave my husband, but could I be happy seeing this other guy?
Q. I have been married for 30 years, 3 children and 2 grandchildren. My husband needs to take medicine for Bipolar, which he refuses. He is not really any part of this house other than he works and comes home. That is all he thinks is neccacerry for a ...
A. 15 March 2008: The problem is that you've let your relationship with your husband get to the point it's at. It's not all your fault either but it sounds like somehow, as a couple, you let things slide. It's only natural that you've met someone else. Do not ... (read in full...)
Is it wishful thinking or does my boss like me? Should I declare my love before she switches jobs?
Q. Ok, i know this topic has been answered so many times, but i need advice. Im a closet bisexual, in a relationship with a man that has no idea i like women. Thing is im in love with someone else..... My boss!! Im 95% sure she is a lesbian, she lives ...
A. 12 March 2008: I should also mention that when you have feelings for another person, as you do, and you flirt like you are, that is cheating. It may not be sexual yet but it is not fair to your relationship and most people would be unhappy to find their partner ... (read in full...)
Is it wishful thinking or does my boss like me? Should I declare my love before she switches jobs?
Q. Ok, i know this topic has been answered so many times, but i need advice. Im a closet bisexual, in a relationship with a man that has no idea i like women. Thing is im in love with someone else..... My boss!! Im 95% sure she is a lesbian, she lives ...
A. 12 March 2008: If you know you'd leave your boyfrinend in a "heartbeat" to be with this woman, why are you with him at all. It's obvious you do not love him as you should and maybe you should give him his freedom and find out where you're at. Maybe some time out ... (read in full...)
Is it wishful thinking or does my boss like me? Should I declare my love before she switches jobs?
Q. Ok, i know this topic has been answered so many times, but i need advice. Im a closet bisexual, in a relationship with a man that has no idea i like women. Thing is im in love with someone else..... My boss!! Im 95% sure she is a lesbian, she lives ...
A. 12 March 2008: If you know you'd leave your boyfrinend in a "heartbeat" to be with this woman, why are yo with him at all. It's obvious you do not lovehim as you should and maybe you should give him his freedom and find out where you're at. Maybe some time out ... (read in full...)
Is it wishful thinking or does my boss like me? Should I declare my love before she switches jobs?
Q. Ok, i know this topic has been answered so many times, but i need advice. Im a closet bisexual, in a relationship with a man that has no idea i like women. Thing is im in love with someone else..... My boss!! Im 95% sure she is a lesbian, she lives ...
A. 8 March 2008: You don't love your boss, you lust for her. Also, you're both in relationships, where does integrity fit into this picture? Is cheating OK for your moral standards?... (read in full...)
Quiz - who want's sex more often?
Q. This is more like a quiz for you guys ... I spoke to my BF and we kinda disagree on: "WHO WANT'S SEX MORE OFTEN IN A RELATIONSHIP .. GIRLS OR GUYS?" So guys and girls ... hit me w some fun answers :) Lierin ...
A. 7 March 2008: I think it depends on some things but in general, men want more sex. The proof is easy to see too. Women have the power to get sex any time they choose. Most of them do not use that power nearly as often as a man would. This may change, ... (read in full...)
How can I have my cake and eat it too?
Q. I am growing close to a man who I work with despite us both living with our respective partners. We both know we have feelings for each other, and a greater connection on a mental and spiritual level. The thing is, I don't want a relationship with ...
A. 1 March 2008: The feelings you're having are normal and they will happen all your life. Are you going to cheat every time you feel the urge? If you want to break it down, you're excited by the thought of doing something taboo. To be blunt, if you don't want to ... (read in full...)
My date will be abroad with a female friend by the time my birthday comes! How do I react to this?
Q. I am a 47 year old male and have been dating a woman who I have fallen in love with for 6 months. We live about 50 miles apart so only get to see each other weekends but we spend almost every weekend together. Recently we also got to spend a whole ...
A. 1 March 2008: I think at your age you should be able to see past the fact that it's your birthday. This is a great opportunity for her and you're kind of putting her in a bad spot. It's just a birthday. You built up your efforts, as far as taking the group out ... (read in full...)
Why do men stray into the arms of another??
Q. This question isn't actually about my relationship, but I do have a general curiosity about infidelity. It seems as though I am surrounded by hundreds of women, whose husbands/boyfriends have cheated. I'm not baiting anyone, I really have a geniune ...
A. 17 February 2008: People cheat for various reasons but it's mostly for attention they don't get at home. When we become accustomed to the same old thing at home and the spark starts to fizzle, other options look enticing. I'm not justifying it either, just ... (read in full...)
Are humans generally destined to be together "forever" or are we really just animals at heart seeking love and self preservation?
Q. I am divorced. He had a five year affair which ultimately ended our 23 year marriage. Four and a half years on an old university friend of his has contacted me and taken me to dinner, obviously hoping for more!! Part of me feels, why not, ...
A. 16 February 2008: I do think there are many things that unfold in a relationship. These things determine how the relationship evolves. Sometimes we have to go through "stuff" to get to the next level.
You asked, if you had sex with the married friend from uni... (read in full...)
Torn between two great guys...what can I do??
Q. Where to start... My now husband and I have been together for a very long time, since I was 14... I'm 21 now... we have been married for almost 4 years now, and have two beautiful children that are my life. I don't really know what happened...
A. 16 February 2008: Your marriage was in a slump. Neither of you were taking the correct steps to fix it. You said you found out your husband cheated. Based on your own statements, you were cheating too and that was before you knew about your husband was up to.
... (read in full...)
Staying with his sister every night.
Q. So my fiancee lives 4 hours away, his sister travels and sometimes ends up in the same city as him. Whenever his sister is in town, he stays with her at the hotel. I think the rationale is that since her sister's paying for the room anyhow, he ...
A. 14 February 2008: The person who said he's sleeping with his sister has no idea that is true. There is nothing clear about it. IF she is in town every once in a while and they spend the night together, what's the problem. If these are actually the facts, what is ... (read in full...)
How do I move on after seeing my wife cheating??
Q. My wife cheated on me last April. I walked up on it they where in the back seat on her suv at a bar. Im having trouble getting over it. At first she said they where just talking and a month after that i found out it was more. She tells me it was j...
A. 10 February 2008: I had lots of points to make here by I deleted most of them. I don't know her or you. What I do know is you want to give her the benefit of the doubt. The problem is you know how you feel and what was going on. You obviously need to, and are ... (read in full...)
My wife won't make love to me anymore and when we do she says it lasts too long.
Q. Whenever i try to make love with my wife she says no. She say she is tried but she can go to the gym at 4:30 am and go to yogi class at 6:00pm the same day. I tell her once or twice during the week we can make love instead of her going to the gym....
A. 10 February 2008: It sounds like you need to deal with this in open honest terms. If she is not willing to listen to your request, you should suggest counseling. If you let this carry on you will resent her and problems will start. Do not cheat though. Be ... (read in full...)
I don't want to have an affair but I don't want a life without passion...what should I do??
Q. I was 22 (1990) when I met my ex who at the time was 46. We dated for 2 1/2 years. We had so much fun together. We enjoyed each others' company. The sex was unbelievable. Everything about the relationship was passionate. He was really hung up on ...
A. 10 February 2008: You say you love your husband. Do you love him enough not to crush his soul by cheating on him? By the way, in my books, meeting the other guy was cheating. It was cheating because of your state of mind when you went to see him. I imagine you ... (read in full...)
I can't let this man go now he has awoken so much in me...what can we do??
Q. I have been married 9 years and have 2 children. I fell out of love with my husband long ago. I met someone else 6 months ago and he awoke something in me i didnt know i had anymore. I haven't slept with my husband in 3 years. I have kissed a...
A. 10 February 2008: You didn't mention what work you did on your marriage when you realized you were falling out of love. What steps did you take? If you stand back and look at your situation, it unfolds like all the others. Sometimes people pass the point of no ... (read in full...)
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