A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My wife over the last two years says I did not show her any affection. We have two children and after a days work and looking after the kids when I get home I am so tired that I have obviously overlooked her needs. She later confessed to having a 5 minute affair. My wife is a Christian , and says that God wants to end the marriage , but leaders at this very popular church have spoken to her saying this is wrong to end and try to reconcile it. I am still living at home with the hope everything can be sorted out. We have been together as a Christian couple for 10 years , I don't believe I have done much wrong , as I do not neglect her at all , I feel so low and I am desparate for any help...........
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affair, christian, living at home Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, kt +, writes (27 February 2008):
 hi, i doubt that God would want you two to divource. in the Bible (as you probably know) it says that once two people are married and have had sex, they are one person. i think your wife is hiding behind this excuss. most churches can give marriage counciling, if yours doesnt, im sure there are others. ive heard alot of storys of relationships being fixed this way. Pray together about your problem and don't give up on it, always be hopeful!take some time out to spend on your wife - just the two of you and do new things together, suprise her and most of all make sure there is strong communication between both of youthere is hope in Christ! don't give up!
A
male
reader, eddie  + ♥, writes (30 December 2007):
 A person can not claim t be a Christian, use that as a shiled and then decide to divirce. It's not that easy. It's hypocrasy acatually.
What is a five minute affair? Did she have sex in the broom closet, a kiss in the hall way, I long hug, chatted on line etc? What happened? People sure make God responsible for many things, depending on the spin they choose to use.
God wants us to marry...God wants me to discover myslf...God wants me to be happy, God wants me divorce. It's very easy to put our "choices" on God. If people only did what was morally corrrect and responsible, everything would be better. You need to give more information...who was he, how long, where , why , how etc.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): The best thing for is that you should sit down with your wife and politely talk to her and explain her what every she is doing is wrong... Also tell he how much she means to you (express your love to her) and tell her to think about the children.. Hopefully everything will fine.. All the best.
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A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (30 December 2007):
 I believe in God, I just don't believe in people shirking their responsibilities by pinning stuff on God.
That said ... you say that you don't neglect her, but she says that you do. That's a failure in communication.
Leaders at your popular church are not married to you two; they have no more power than you give them.
Is a five minute affair less offensive than a five hour affair? You know, either she had an affair or she didn't ... how long it lasted is irrelevant. If she felt neglected and failed to tell you about it, until after she slept with someone else, she can't pin it on God. She calls herself a Christian, but she sounds like a five minute Christian to me.
This whole thing is WAY more complicated than it should be.
From what you've told us, if this marriage is to be saved, the following has to happen:
You both have to be accountable for your choices. Whether or not you're tired is irrelevant: if she needs attention from you, you better give it. If she's not getting enough from you, she has to talk to you about it. If she slept with someone else, she made that choice and it's not your fault for neglecting her and it's not God's will ... it was HER choice.
People labeling themselves with a religious or political name is a bunch of hooey. Actions speak louder than words. Your wife is an adulteress and she better accept it.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): I see your really powerful religous people, well in my opinion when you do get married, god puts you in a relationship and somehow makes you meet up and makes you both come up with the decision of marraige and they do say in several books even bible if one is married to not break up and not to have a divorce. I strongly belive you shouldn't break up, another thing when god unites to people into marraige then he would certainly not want you to break up so obviously he is not showing signs of you to break up. To include when your wife says god wants to end the marraige i think she is trying to say is she wants to end it you don't know she might fancy that 5 minute affair guy.
Good luck wish you all the best
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A
female
reader, elliebellie +, writes (30 December 2007):
hi hun.
*virtual hug*
it sounds like your wife just wants some attention.
maybe you should surprise her one night and take her out to a restaurant and then go back to the bedroom :P
you should also talk to her and tell her how much you love her and you didnt realise you were neglecting her.
talking is the way.
hope this helps
feel free to mail me about anyting else you want to talk about.
lol
ellie
xxx
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