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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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Is life all about religion, or is it about being happy and feeling fulfilled?
Q. First off, please do not judge my situation. I am involved in a moral and emotional dilemma and am seeking whole-hearted answers, not judgments. I have been involved with a MM for over 6 months. We have known each other for over a year; we work tog...
A. 16 June 2008: You are trying to get off the hook (justify) an incredible amount of inappropriate behavior on your part as well as you MM. The hypocrisy about trying to go down the road of religion for yourself and your MM not asking for forgiveness until later ... (read in full...)
Wife's been keeping her mobile close and has mysterious messages on her facebook page!
Q. ive been married for 2 years and dating for 8 years and my wife has been going on face book for about 3 months shes been acting weired since then she keeps her mobile close to her chest when before she hardly use to go out with it ,i started to get ...
A. 3 June 2008: She may not be "planning" to cheat but she is sure putting herself in a position that quite often leads to cheating. Let's face it, platonic is platonic. If this guy is a buddy and she has no thoughts that are questionable, why hide the truth. If ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about the way my girlfriend's vagina looks may have something to do with her past!
Q. I have a rather strange question to ask here... I am curious about vagina... I have been with a variety of different women (sexually), and up until recently I have always encountered generally the same type(ish) vagina... Usually tighter, snug, not ...
A. 2 June 2008: If you have a thin penis does it mean you wore it down making porn movies?... (read in full...)
Every other Saturday he's going out! Help!
Q. Right, what it is im 40 yrs old and with 3 kids, im seperated from my husband as i dont love him anymore.I have been in contact with this man on the internet, i live in kent and he lives in scotland so we are quite far apart...we have been chatting ...
A. 2 June 2008: I know what you mean. It's difficult to hold back when you have that gut feeling. Sometimes it's better though to wait and see if you get more evidence. You see, you kind of jumped the gun with your accusations. Now, you can't prove anything and ... (read in full...)
Every other Saturday he's going out! Help!
Q. Right, what it is im 40 yrs old and with 3 kids, im seperated from my husband as i dont love him anymore.I have been in contact with this man on the internet, i live in kent and he lives in scotland so we are quite far apart...we have been chatting ...
A. 1 June 2008: Do you actually know he lied?... (read in full...)
I was forced to lie because my boyfriend thinks even a simple hello to a former crush is something major!! How can I regain his trust?...
Q. I've got a problem. I know, though, that it's mostly my fault, really. See, my boyfriend and I have a troubled relationship. I broke the trust, and now it seems impossible to get it back. Ok here it goes... From the beginning of the relationshi...
A. 1 June 2008: A simple hello to a former crush is no big deal. If you see the guy at the mall and you say " hey, what's up? How have you been...." that should be OK. That is not the issue though.
There are at least two problems I can see. The first one is t... (read in full...)
Every other Saturday he's going out! Help!
Q. Right, what it is im 40 yrs old and with 3 kids, im seperated from my husband as i dont love him anymore.I have been in contact with this man on the internet, i live in kent and he lives in scotland so we are quite far apart...we have been chatting ...
A. 1 June 2008: Wow, the you are not even together yet and the guy can't even go out for a beer. If I were him I'd run as fast as I could in the other direction.
Don't call it love yet either. Love is something that develops over time. What you are feeling ... (read in full...)
An affair that I didn't want!
Q. I am married, I have a 27 year old disabled daughter and 4 other healthy grown children. I am VERY vulnerable. I have been "slightly" pursued, asked "if you ever need to talk, I am here" This man oversees a financial aspect of my disabled daughter. ...
A. 1 June 2008: It is understandable that your life has an added demand with a disabled child. That does not justify what you've done though. Almost everybody who cheats has some type of complication in their personal life.
You say, "how could I let this hap... (read in full...)
Something happened while I was asleep. Should I end the relationship?
Q. So i fell "asleep" on the couch while a friend was over with me and my girlfriend. I heard them talk about sex and then i heard masturbation noises. I woke up and the guys fly was undone. Then when i confronted my girlfriend about the whole thing ...
A. 31 May 2008: Do you know what masturbation means? It means the guy was pleasuring himself. IF you heard the noises, why didn't you react? ... (read in full...)
My partner is so unsociable and forbids me to go places... because "he's a man." If only he would spend the evening with me alternatively, but he won't!
Q. I have 2 children with my partner and i'm finding it really dificult not being able to go out. At the moment i have 2 weeks off work and my bf just had a week off. I would love to go to a fancy dress party my friend's having, i haven't seen any of m...
A. 31 May 2008: Key words I noticed.....he won't let me...like he owns me...rare times he lets me go...he tells me to come home....The reason he is able to make all the choices and call all the shots is because you empower him. EVERY time you let him decide what ... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid because of his previous betrayal?
Q. Ok to cut a long story short my husband cheated on me once before and I forgave him. Its not been easy and I do not want any advice on something I want to forget. I just need to know if I am now paranoid or have the right to be worried. We w...
A. 31 May 2008: Well, something seems strange. Does your husband go to this place often? Who did he cheat with? Where is she from? Where did they meet?... (read in full...)
Falling for someone else..
Q. 4 and a 1/2 years ago we moved house and I was very happy. When we met the neighbours I thought nothing of it. Then one day the neighbour came round to fix the fence. I was standing in the kitchen and turned around and he was staring in the ...
A. 31 May 2008: Yes, it's wrong to contact him because you're not trying to check up on your old neighbor, you're trying to hook up with another man. One would be an innocent coincidence and the other would be a devious plan.
Look at it from another angle. ... (read in full...)
Are us women suppose to put up with men unfaithfullness & childish behavior because they refuse to grow up?
Q. I need everyones advice. Ladies and guys too. I have a bf that is a typical guy. He has cheated before. I've seen other girls phone numbers on his phone and he denies it. But us girls have this instinct that never fails. I know for a fact ...
A. 31 May 2008: That seems to be pretty common in the Caribbean. I've lives there and have MANY friends and family from that area. Men cheating is VERY common and almost accepted as a variation of normal. I could never get accustomed to it when I spent a year ... (read in full...)
Help-how do we stop his past fling from pestering us now?
Q. i just found out my husband had a short affair with a co-worker that was black mailing him i want to forgive him and we both want to move on with our 10 year marriage im scared and i don't know how to let go of all the crazy thoughts in my mind ...
A. 31 May 2008: You both need to figure out the mechanics of the affair. This will help you understand what went wrong in your relationship. He needs to live his life like an open book. He needs to answer any questions you have and account for all his time. He ... (read in full...)
Younger married man keeps coming back for more and I can't help myself
Q. I've been having an affair with a married younger man (alot younger)for 18 months and he is always breaking it off but then comes back for more. I'm hooked on the excitement of the affair (the sex is just so so)and am more than happy to go back. I ...
A. 31 May 2008: You've got some issues in your life that need to be dealt with. You are involved in a relationship that is wrong and will eventually be hurtful to many people. "You're in a relationship with a beautiful man that loves you" Do you mean the guy ... (read in full...)
Is a blow job for a groom a tradition?
Q. Hey sisters and brothers Just a funny one Just spoke to some friends ... bullshitting .. question was DO you think its a tradition for a GROOM to get blown at a bachelore party??? 95%guys said YES! So, how do you guys feel over here? J...
A. 30 May 2008: Well.....it is a nice gesture that one of his bachelor buddies wants to blow him but......just kidding. It is not appropriate for a guy to be sticking his penis into any orifice that doesn't come attached to the person he's marrying.... (read in full...)
Should I pay for this holiday if I don't end up going?
Q. I am considering splitting up with my boyfriend. I don’t want to go into why, but there is a slight problem if we can’t sort out our problems and do split up - we are due to go on holiday in 6 weeks and I don’t know what to do. He paid for the ...
A. 29 May 2008: Glad to hear that. If more people did what they "ought" to do, the world would be a better place....... (read in full...)
Should I pay for this holiday if I don't end up going?
Q. I am considering splitting up with my boyfriend. I don’t want to go into why, but there is a slight problem if we can’t sort out our problems and do split up - we are due to go on holiday in 6 weeks and I don’t know what to do. He paid for the ...
A. 28 May 2008: By the way, to the question poster, you agreed to go on a vacation. You agreed to pay him back. Those were the terms. You knew how much money you earned as well as what he earned. That was OK when you were planning the trip. Don't try and twist ... (read in full...)
Should I pay for this holiday if I don't end up going?
Q. I am considering splitting up with my boyfriend. I don’t want to go into why, but there is a slight problem if we can’t sort out our problems and do split up - we are due to go on holiday in 6 weeks and I don’t know what to do. He paid for the ...
A. 28 May 2008: To the anonymous aunt...you're a real piece of work. These two people made arrangements as a couple to go on a vacation. She was going to pay her share when she got the money. For you to split hairs about oral contracts and and all the legal crap ... (read in full...)
Sexual life after marriage? How does it change?
Q. I'm a 29 year old male, and have been thinking about how relationships change after marriage. Maybe you can share from your experiences? I am particularly concerned with the fact the few couples that I have discussed with have told me their se...
A. 25 May 2008: Things change after marriage. Life gets in the way and things become more complicated. That doesn't mean bad, just different. I do think one of the biggest struggles is that wives become mothers. I think the maternal instinct takes over and ... (read in full...)
How do people feel about flirting with someone who already has a partner?
Q. How do people feel about flirting with someone who already has a partner? We are both in relationships but have not talked about our partners to each other before. I really like him a lot and can tell he likes me too. We only smile, stare, wink and ...
A. 25 May 2008: What kind of question is this? It doesn't "JUST" happen. You already know you're going to do it. There is not "just" going on. If your conscience bothers you enough to ask the question then you know it's wrong. If it was innocent you wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Is life all about religion, or is it about being happy and feeling fulfilled?
Q. First off, please do not judge my situation. I am involved in a moral and emotional dilemma and am seeking whole-hearted answers, not judgments. I have been involved with a MM for over 6 months. We have known each other for over a year; we work tog...
A. 25 May 2008: I'd like to respectfully add one comment. There was an outside force working on this married man. It was the woman who told him she had the hots for him. That is an outside force. He chose to do wrong by following up on her tempting offer but ... (read in full...)
Is life all about religion, or is it about being happy and feeling fulfilled?
Q. First off, please do not judge my situation. I am involved in a moral and emotional dilemma and am seeking whole-hearted answers, not judgments. I have been involved with a MM for over 6 months. We have known each other for over a year; we work tog...
A. 25 May 2008: You say you feel awful for his wife BUT "it is was it is...what happened, happened" Yes, it sure sounds like you're struggling with your guilt over that.
You are not an honest person. You are naive. What is honorable about what you did? Yo... (read in full...)
I think my husband is chatting online often and late with a female coworker. Should I have a word with his boss?
Q. Hi, think that my husband is staying late at work to chat up with his female co-worker via online. Ive seen him change diff towards me. He's not as attentive. He is very rude to me when I ask him if he can make it home earlier, and then when h c...
A. 24 May 2008: Talk to your husband, not his boss. That is the worst idea I've ever heard. It is none of his bosses business. Don't amke it so.... (read in full...)
Is life all about religion, or is it about being happy and feeling fulfilled?
Q. First off, please do not judge my situation. I am involved in a moral and emotional dilemma and am seeking whole-hearted answers, not judgments. I have been involved with a MM for over 6 months. We have known each other for over a year; we work tog...
A. 24 May 2008: You, you , you , you, you.....it's all about you. He is no better. You said you don't want to be judged. You HAVE to be judged. You can't make your question all flowery and holy so it's easier to get off the hook. You and he are doing something ... (read in full...)
Is my grirlfriend planning to cheat on me in this vacation since she does not want me to accompany her?
Q. I need desperate help. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. Things have been a little down lately due to my side of the family issues accepting her. She plans on going on a business trip abroad, conveniently over memo...
A. 21 May 2008: good then... (read in full...)
Is my grirlfriend planning to cheat on me in this vacation since she does not want me to accompany her?
Q. I need desperate help. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. Things have been a little down lately due to my side of the family issues accepting her. She plans on going on a business trip abroad, conveniently over memo...
A. 19 May 2008: You say she is angry that you snooped. What did she say about the information you found while snooping? Is she hurt because you didn't trust her or angry because she got caught?... (read in full...)
In a long distance relation but starting to develop feelings for a man at the gym, who is committed!
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for over 12 months now and he is loving, attentive, caring etc...all the things women crave. BUT i have started to fancy/think a lot about a man i have recently come into contact with on a regular basis at ...
A. 18 May 2008: If you act on your feelings you would be nasty. OK, you've noticed you're attracted to another guy. No problem, unless you make it one. It is not a crime to feel attractions. If you are not thrilled with your current relationship, end it !!!! ... (read in full...)
We've been together for more than 10 years but I'm determined not to forgive his infidelity, what do you think?
Q. I found out my husband had an affair a year and a half ago. The only reason it's over now is because the other woman ended it. The whole thing lasted about a month. He was angry that she hurt him, not sure if he tried to win her back or anyt...
A. 18 May 2008: If you know you're not going to forgive him, then you've made your choice. If he doesn't leave, you certainly can. The only thing worse than cheating is sitting around discussing it with others. That makes it seem he is really not very ... (read in full...)
An advice please onow to cope from people who had casual encounters they later regretted?
Q. OK I feel as though I need to explain myself or apologise before I even start as I dont want people to misjudge me. My bf and I are both models and even though our world is full of superficial people, I pride the fact that neither of us are like ...
A. 17 May 2008: She knows you have a man. You can tell her that you're not interested in threesomes and you'd prefer not to go down that road again. Tell her when you're in a relationship that you'd prefer to concentrate on that. Attractive people are ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to want some answers as to why he chats with other girls on his MSN?
Q. OK, here's the scenario. I've posted a question before about 2 weeks ago about how I think my partner is cheating on me, to which I got some good replies. My question now is connected to this, but its been kind of bothering me. My b/f and I have b...
A. 17 May 2008: If there are or have been issues in the relationship you deserve to know what they are. It's not fair of him to say there are issues and then decide not to discuss them.
Talking to people of the opposite sex is not a crime. Hiding it and lyin... (read in full...)
Emotionally unfaithful and it's hurting my conscience
Q. Please Help! I'm married with 2 beautiful kids and husband is working abroad. We are quite different in alot of ways. I'm a very affectionate and loving person where he isn't even though I've tried again and again but to no avail. He does look at ...
A. 17 May 2008: Emotional infidelity is when you nurture a thought for someone outside your marriage. It's when you convince yourself that it's OK to "just" spend time with a person you are actually attracted to. It's when you come home from work and run to the ... (read in full...)
Emotionally unfaithful and it's hurting my conscience
Q. Please Help! I'm married with 2 beautiful kids and husband is working abroad. We are quite different in alot of ways. I'm a very affectionate and loving person where he isn't even though I've tried again and again but to no avail. He does look at ...
A. 16 May 2008: "The man, father and partner you've always wanted" ??????He is a CHEATER and you are too. Why would yo want him? Eso, no puedo entender.
You say your husband won't give you your space. It's not his to give, it's yours to have because you are ... (read in full...)
What process do you go though when you are the one that cheated, how do you reconcile what you have done, do you blame your partner for driving you to it?
Q. My wife has recently cheated on me and we have seperated. She's asking for a second chance. My question is directed at women that have cheated on their partners and carried on. I'm a bit worried the replies will be aimed at saving a 'sister'...
A. 14 May 2008: OK, I'm a man but....It would seem to me that a person somebody would engage in that type of behavior with would always occupy a spot in her mind. It might not be in the front of her mind but it would be there somewhere. It is a life altering ... (read in full...)
I can't figure out if I want a relationship with this new man or my husband. Should I tell my husband and his wife to get it all on the table?
Q. I am married woman in a relationship with a married man for a year. We both have children and are in very unhappy marriages. It was very passionate and "forever" in the beginning. Things have waned a bit, so now we are trying to be friends....
A. 14 May 2008: Who you think you are telling the other man's wife? You created this rotten mess and do you honestly believe you can wave a wand and make it all OK. You need to understand the severity of the deed you were part of. ... (read in full...)
Should men pay on the first 'date'?
Q. Question #1 I met a woman on an online dating service. She suggested we should meet up for coffee and I agreed and suggested a time and place. When we finished she said she would go to the restroom while I took care of the bill. She didn’t offe...
A. 13 May 2008: I'm not a woman but she sounds rude or shy...probably rude though. Nobody should expect anything. Actually, she can expect what she likes but she's not entitled to anything. Not saying thanks is not great either. Having said that, I'd give her a ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling unbelievable lust for this man other than my husband. What are your thoughts on open marriage?
Q. Help! I am married to a wonderful man for 7 years now. We have 3 wonderful kids. I was out with my girlfriend and met this Brad Pitt look-alike from Brazil. He is so amazing in so many different ways. In the heat of the moment i shared with him a ...
A. 12 May 2008: It amazes me how we let ourselves get so close to another person when we're not entitled to do that. I don't think open marriages are a great idea for most people. Are you willing to risk your marriage because you're attracted to a stranger. I'd ... (read in full...)
I constantly get accused of having affairs and I can't take it anymore. Any ideas?
Q. hi everyone, same old story i suppose but here goes, i have two gorgeous children with my partner of five years. very happy till a few months ok, i constantly get accused of having affairs. which im not but her friends keep telling her otherwi...
A. 12 May 2008: You still haven't given any details about why she is accusing you of cheating.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has moved abroad without considering me, should I follow him?
Q. My boyfriend has moved from the UK to the US a month ago - something he has had planned for 2 years. I met him 14 months ago and we fell in love quickly but he never once considered whether I was able to come with him and decided that he could not ...
A. 11 May 2008: I think you have to be realistic about the situation. At your ages, if someone packs up and leaves, they're saying something. He picked what was most important to him at that particular time in his life. He left. BUT.....you knew what his plans ... (read in full...)
My long-term boyfriend's condoms have mysteriously disappeared. Am I over analysing?
Q. i thought i remembered a condom or two left in the condom drawer of my boyfriend's(3 years with him) aparment and also possibly opened wrappers from us there (just being lazy about throwing out the wrapper)...i actually don't 100% remember but i ...
A. 11 May 2008: I've never heard of a guy masturbating with a condom. Also, how would you know if he looked in the drawer. ... (read in full...)
I constantly get accused of having affairs and I can't take it anymore. Any ideas?
Q. hi everyone, same old story i suppose but here goes, i have two gorgeous children with my partner of five years. very happy till a few months ok, i constantly get accused of having affairs. which im not but her friends keep telling her otherwi...
A. 11 May 2008: How about some details amigo.....You didn't give us much to go on.... (read in full...)
36 year-old woman sleeping in the same bed as her uncle?
Q. what do you think of a 36yo woman sleeping in the same bed with her uncle? yes she lied to me, she said she's living with her uncle in separate bedroom, but when i went to their apartment it was just a studio and they're sleeping together in one ...
A. 11 May 2008: It's odd....plain and simple. It would seem to me there must be another choice. I find it strange.... (read in full...)
Is my grirlfriend planning to cheat on me in this vacation since she does not want me to accompany her?
Q. I need desperate help. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. Things have been a little down lately due to my side of the family issues accepting her. She plans on going on a business trip abroad, conveniently over memo...
A. 11 May 2008: Ask her what she meant by " she knows she screwed up" Then you'll know what she meant.
... (read in full...)
Is my grirlfriend planning to cheat on me in this vacation since she does not want me to accompany her?
Q. I need desperate help. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. Things have been a little down lately due to my side of the family issues accepting her. She plans on going on a business trip abroad, conveniently over memo...
A. 10 May 2008: You do weave a complicated web. I hope your discussions with your girlfriend are more direct. You also tell a story in a Hollywood kind of dramatic manner.
You know that ignoring her calls was not a great idea but ultimately, I ask yo this. D... (read in full...)
Is my grirlfriend planning to cheat on me in this vacation since she does not want me to accompany her?
Q. I need desperate help. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. Things have been a little down lately due to my side of the family issues accepting her. She plans on going on a business trip abroad, conveniently over memo...
A. 5 May 2008: One thing, based on what you say, seems to be possible. She has been communicating with this guy a little too much, in an inappropriate manner, in a way that is misleading to him. She is leaving the door open a crack for this guy to continue ... (read in full...)
Is my grirlfriend planning to cheat on me in this vacation since she does not want me to accompany her?
Q. I need desperate help. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. Things have been a little down lately due to my side of the family issues accepting her. She plans on going on a business trip abroad, conveniently over memo...
A. 1 May 2008: You're injecting words like... "conveniently over Labor Day weekend"... into the story to bolster your angle. The particular weekend is of nor issue.
If the co worker was the one who said..."you look really hot in those pictures", that was inap... (read in full...)
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