A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Have been in an "emotional" relationship with a younger man for almost a year now (younger by 5 years. I am a married woman, he has had a girlfriend. We have been working up to finally leading to something sexual. So here's the confusing part...he was very cautious about how far he would go. Guilt about me being married, jealous of my husband having been there first....then in the next couple of days he proposes to his girlfriend?? Still wants our relationship to continue..wants us to continue our affair. Why choose now to propose? He has been just as attentive..besides how busy he is with engagement parties and such. Anybody else think this is too weird or just me?
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female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (31 December 2007):
 I was in the same type of thing about a year and 1/2 ago. I had sex with the guy 2 times. I ended up leaving my husband, The guy then dumped me, as soon as I was free. I am still separated from my husband, because I realized that having an affair on the side meant that I didn't love my husband anymore. I feel "Why stay where you no longer want to be." Now I am having a hard time paying bills & making ends meet.
My advice to you is FORGET ABOUT THIS GUY it will only lead to disaster.
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (30 December 2007):
 Your lack of conscience about your hurtful behaviour is the biggest problem. I wonder what your husband would ask if he were writing to this site?
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A
female
reader, vicky20  +, writes (30 December 2007):
sorry to hear about your predictament you are currently in from what you wrote i think he is trying to play mind games because if he had any feelings towards you why would he propose to his girlfriend my personal suggestion would be to try and work your marriage instead of chucking it away for a guy that obviously dosent care about your feelings or have any respect for you good luck.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 December 2007):
 I just want to add that it seems that the poster seems to be developing feelings for the young man, while he isn't. He is obviously pursuing other interests. This alone would be enough for us to recommend to stop seeing him. But I say "amen" to Sweet-thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): The most likely answer to his unusual behaviour is that he wants both of you-without the guilt. It seems you do not feel the same guilt ,and your relationship with your husband doesnt show much love. You must decide if there is any point in your marriage first. If you truely love this man and want to spend the rest of your life with him and he feels the same . the reason for his proposal may be so his girlfriend does not suspect of a affair, and his way of making it up to her.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (30 December 2007):
 It's very weird and very wrong and the two of you need to stop seeing each other because you are going to hurt alot of people in the long run, including each other. Back out, let him marry his girlfriend. You should then consider your marriage. Is it time to get a divorce and be single for awhile, because it seems to me, that something is missing there. Is it worth fixing? Could marital counseling be the answer, so you can focus your attention on your husband and not someone else? Only you can answer these questions, but please do not continue to have this affair. It's going no where and it's going to end up deading you emotionally. Good luck.
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