A
male
age
51-59,
*pider monkey
writes:I have been in a relatinship for 18 years, for most of which I have been looking after my partner for both mental and sever physical illness. Although she is now semi recovered I am very tired both physcally and emotionally. We also have a two year old son who I love dearly. To give myself a small piece of respite I recently went on holiday. Whilst on holiday I became very close to another traveller whom I confided in and became quite close to. Although the only thing we did was to share and speak of our life experiences I found myself becoming more and more attracted to her particularly her personality. I would not dream of having an affair as I am an old fashioned guy but I feel as if I have fallen in love. I have stayed in touch with her via email but as we live in seperate countries I doubt we will ever meet again. I can presently think of nothing else but her and I feel my heart is broken, I am so sad. It is an impossible situation. I would just like to hear somebody else's advice as I have nobody to talk to.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (21 December 2007):
 You have taken care of your wife and paid a price for that. That is what you're supposed to do when you're married. Try to look at this experience in another light. You say you are emotionally drained. Let this be the wake up call t get your all most recovered wife back on track and you marriage into gear. This was the proof that you are still capable of warm feelings. It was a light you were tempted to go toward.
Let me assure you that had it not been this other woman, it would have been another. You didn't cheat for a good reason...you're married. Rebuild that marriage. State your needs, in a nice way. End contact with that other woman. It's only something that will serve as a wedge and the first step down the slippery slope. Any actions you take to continue contact with her is in fact cheating. That is because you are not contacting her to have a friendship, you're trying to stir feelings of romance. Those feelings should be focused on your wife. If you can not do that, then perhaps the marriage is over. Do not cheat though. It's wrong and will minimize 18 years of your good deeds.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): After dealing with the saga of your wife's personal problems, any woman you meet would certainly appear far more tantalizing. Think about it - even though you felt some kind of special connection with this other woman, you couldn't possibly have gotten to know her, and her individual issues, as well as a wife of 18 years. It's really easy to imagine, based on such a fleeting encounter, that the new woman has no problems at all and that being her partner would be infinitely easier. It's just an escapist fantasy. Especially with her so far away now, I bet your feelings for the newer woman will dwindle in a little while. Meanwhile, as your wife recovers, you'll start being able to enjoy the positive aspects of your old relationship again.
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