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Should I choose the high school sweetheart or the stable friend?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 December 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2008)
A female Puerto Rico age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am getting married in a couple of months. Today we had a high school class reunion and I saw someone I kinda liked back then. The thing is he kinda liked me too. He is still single and we started talking and I got to asking myself whether I should get married to my bf or not. We have a great relationship as friends and partners, but I kinda feel we don't have that much of a chemistry anymore, as we used to at one point. Seeing this friend made me remember I don't have that with current fiance and I miss feeling sparks.

Is this normal? Is it that my bf and I are just friends? Should I follow up on something with the high school friend?

View related questions: fiance, spark

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (1 January 2008):

eddie agony auntSi no sabes por seguro si te quieres casar.....don't do it.

Don't forget though, you will always meet people who you are attracted to. Attraction is really temporary. Life is reality and attractions come and go. Don't think that the grass is always greener on the other side of the hill. It's greenest where you water it.

Ten cuidado boriqua....message me if you like.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (1 January 2008):

rcn agony auntThe fact that you have to ask this questions tells that you are not ready to get married, weather or not you choose someone else. People who are really prepared and "in love" to be married, seeing someone they liked or had a crush on wouldn't change what they developed with the other person.

If you choose your current boyfriend or this other person, I'd advise you reconsider getting married. Marry for true love, anything else would be premature for getting married.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007):

It's never too late to cancel a wedding if you are having the slightest doubt if it's the right thing to do. Even if you get as far as the altar.

Meeting up with an old school pal is similar to starting out on a new relationship when all the sparks fly and you feel overwhelmed by it all. I don't know how many new relationships you've had, but you must be aware that the initial spark tends to die away after a while. At first the sex is very frequent and abandoned but settles down in time to a more regular and less frequent regime as you 'tune in' to each other.

Maybe you're wondering subconsciously if you're doing the right thing and suffering from pre-wedding doubts. If so, you might like to consider postponing the event until you are absolutely 100% certain you're doing the right thing. Marry in haste, repent at leisure. Also bear in mind that a divorce is far more expensive and traumatic than a wedding!

Phil

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