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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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He's loaded but he always counts value for money. He does not like to eat out, is always looking for bargain, will not help a friend when they're in need of money. Do I leave him?
Q. I am 45 just divorced. My husband has got very ill temper. He used to take me to a meal or buy my gifts or holidays to apologize. It's not working anymore as I cant bear it anymore so I've divorced him. Then I met this man 18 years older than ...
A. 21 November 2007: How much of your money do you offer to spend?... (read in full...)
He cheated on her with me. Should I get into something with him?
Q. I joined a new company and I was instantly attracted to a colleague and he seemed to be attracted to me too. At first there was alot of flirty office banter between the two of us and we didn't necessarily hide it. We had a few staff get togethers ...
A. 21 November 2007: It was wrong, you knew it was wrong and it was selfish of you. There is nothing proper or of any value to what you did. It is rotten to do something so calculated an potentially hurtful to other people. I'm glad most people still have integrity ... (read in full...)
How can I increase my libido?
Q. I have always had quite a low sex drive, my boyfriend, like most men, has quite a high sex drive. I'd like to have sex more, the thing is, I don't look forward to it but once I get into it I really enjoy it. My boyfriend is a very giving love...
A. 21 November 2007: This is a very, very common problem. If you are the one with the low drive, it's up to you to fix it. It's like exercise, you just have to do it. Try to get yourself in the mood. Read something sexy, stray from the regular path a little and go ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before I move on? I divorced my husband, but he hasn't yet divorced his wife - although he initiated the affair!
Q. I fell in love with a co-worker and we have had an affair for about two years. He left his wife of 13 years and two young kids and moved out about one year ago. In April, I asked my husband of 17 years and two teenage kids for a dissolution. We ...
A. 21 November 2007: Well, he has made some steps that indicate he's serious about leaving. He moved out. That's about as much of an indication as you should need.
The problem is that you started your relationship on shaky ground and underground. It was all secr... (read in full...)
Met a Turkish man on holiday, we're in love and he wants me to move with him but I have two children. What should I do?
Q. I have met a younger Turkish man on holiday. I have been back to see him since and it confirmed how we both felt. I have been married for 18 years and have never felt how i felt with him.I am at present going through a divorce......before i met him. ...
A. 20 November 2007: It sounds like it might be a good idea to let your husband raise the kids. If you are seriously considering leaving them, they should be with the parent that cares the most. Don't be foolish. What was so wrong with your marriage?... (read in full...)
Don't a lot of prostitutes have to sleep with overweight old men?? I feel like one if I have sex with my husband because of his weight-gain - he's clinically obese now and refuses diets.
Q. I'm 27 and have been married to my husband, who's 32, for 5 years now. He's become 26 stone and refuses to lose weight, despite me telling him that it could cause problems - but he insists "it's better to be fat and happy than thin and unhappy...
A. 20 November 2007: First of all, quit comparing yourself to a prostitute. That is a picture your painting that derails your common sense and jades your opinion. You might not be turned on by him but that doesn't make you a hooker. That just puts you in a frame of ... (read in full...)
I had sex with him on the first night out, which I had never done before! Now he accuses me for that!
Q. I am 45 just divorced and met this man. He seems genuine and caring and loving. I've been unhappy for a long time in my marraige for years. So I decided to go for this man. I had sex with him on the first night out. It's something I've never ...
A. 20 November 2007: The old double standrd is rearing it's ugly head again. Afterall, he had sex too. You were probably excited about being with somone else and let your guard down. We are judged by what we do. So if he's trying to protect his feelings or figure ... (read in full...)
How do you date a stripper and not get jealous?
Q. I have been dating a woman who strips for a living at a club. I liked her from the start and she and I have good chemistry… the sex is great. She and I met at the club she works at. After I came to the club just to see her and after buying a ...
A. 19 November 2007: You can't make an apple an orange. She's a stripper and that's her level of morality. I'm from the Niagara Falls area so I know the places you're talking about. Those women are not the kind you want to take home to mom. They're entitled to act ... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend to understand what dancing is all about?
Q. I used to ballroom dance with my best guy friend (not very good, but it was a lot of fun). After I dated my boyfriend since two years ago, I stopped dancing simply because my boyfriend thinks dancing is a very intimate thing to do and I should only ...
A. 19 November 2007: I don't think he likes the closeness you get with other men. I wouldn't be thrilled if my wife went out dancing every week with other men. I understand it's seen as more of a social thing. Would you enjoy it if he went to play darts every ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for my boyfriend to have had gay sex?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for years and are about to get married. However he just told me in middle school he had gay sex with his best friend. Is this normal or what? What should I do? ...
A. 19 November 2007: I don't know if it's common but it's probably somewhere in the range of somewhat normal. In other words, it happens for some people, some times. It probably doesn't happen that often, but it occurs. Was it once? Was it an experimental thing?... (read in full...)
Should I give him the benefit of the doubt?
Q. a few months ago i found a note in my husbands pocket written by a woman who works for him. I had helped him with some of his reports once and I knew her writing. It was very graphic talking about great orgasms. I confronted him and was told it ...
A. 19 November 2007: These notes are not appearing out of thin air. I've never had a note like that and I don't know of anybody that has. I find it strange. Is he saying the note was planted in his pocket? I'd imagine yo might have something to worry about. If ... (read in full...)
It was me who pursued a "committed" woman and she was equally at fault for giving me encouragement. Will this force her to decide between us, if I stop the chase?
Q. Hello would appreciate your take on my problem. I was stupid enough to become involved in an affair with a woman who was already in a relationship. It was me who pursued her and she was equally at fault for giving me encouragement. I knew that there ...
A. 18 November 2007: The big problem is that you play this game as if you deserve to be in the picture. You have to understand that you deserve nothing. You are not entitled to anything. You and her are in the wrong. You get what ever scraps she gives you and that ... (read in full...)
I've decided to leave my partner whom I don't love anymore, I have two kids and no money though, what do I do?
Q. im in a relationship with some one i dont love any more and im in love with some one else,ive decided to leave my partner but i dont know were to start,i have two young lads no money what do i do....
A. 17 November 2007: Well, you've made your choice. Give the kids to the father and go have your romance. Your lover should be happy to support you. Your kids and husband can move on. What did you do to work on the relationship before you cheated?... (read in full...)
Is it normal for men to do this especially when they are in a relationship? HELP ME!
Q. Every one looks at the opposite sex. Of course..you are going to notice a beautiful woman or a handsome man that walks in your path..right? A glance is ok..let it go..move on with the day. Well..my question is..my boyfriend of 3.5 years looks at ...
A. 17 November 2007: Let's think about this. When people masturbate they are usually thinking about sex with someone. It might be your partner, some cute person that works in your office or a person you saw on the corner that morning. So yes, he might think about ... (read in full...)
Is it OK that my girlfriend talks to her ex husband
Q. My girlfriend is still talking to her ex-husband. She says they want to be friends and thats it nothing more. I tried to be ok with it but everytime I see them emailing eachother it really bothers me and makes me unhappy. Is it unfair fo...
A. 17 November 2007: How often do they email each other. More information about the break up would be helpful. There are never any definite answers only possibilities. Anything is possible. We have to roll the dice sometimes and give our partners the option to screw ... (read in full...)
While I'm at work my husband looked at porn. What to do?
Q. Hmm...where do I begin. I have a truly wonderful husband and we have four great kids. I've been a stay at home mom most of our marriage. I have just recently got a part-time job of the evening, and found out that he had been looking up porn on ...
A. 17 November 2007: To the anonymous Aunt who lives for the porn debate, why do you hide yourself? Your opinions are always so strong, you cast a broad net, make general statements that go over board and don't have the courage to be known.
You only focus on women an... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before I move on? I divorced my husband, but he hasn't yet divorced his wife - although he initiated the affair!
Q. I fell in love with a co-worker and we have had an affair for about two years. He left his wife of 13 years and two young kids and moved out about one year ago. In April, I asked my husband of 17 years and two teenage kids for a dissolution. We ...
A. 16 November 2007: If you were seeking perfection when you cheated it seems you didn't find it with this guy. Sometimes the devil you know is better than the one you don't. It's ironic that you're still not officially with the new guy and there are already issues. ... (read in full...)
Why do married men look at naked women on the internet?
Q. Why would a married man look at nude women on the internet after being caught once only to do it again?...
A. 16 November 2007: You say he was "caught" once as if you're a detective. It's not the end of the world. Men are more curious that way than women are. Good or bad, that's the truth. I try to deal in truth. To assume otherwise is foolish.... (read in full...)
While I'm at work my husband looked at porn. What to do?
Q. Hmm...where do I begin. I have a truly wonderful husband and we have four great kids. I've been a stay at home mom most of our marriage. I have just recently got a part-time job of the evening, and found out that he had been looking up porn on ...
A. 15 November 2007: Will someone cheat? You can never be guaranteed of that. He might stare at other women every time he leaves the house. He might have a crush on the neighbor. He might think about his first girlfriend from time to time. Have you never had a ... (read in full...)
Would it be terriable to have sex with him?
Q. I known it is wrong, and i probably shouldn't do it, but A everygood guy friend of mine. WHo happens to be a virgin, whats to lose his virginity and have girlfriend. I am in a good relationship and i love the guy alot. The only thing is i've had a ...
A. 15 November 2007: You might relieve his stress but create a load for yourself. Do not do this. It's wrong !!... (read in full...)
While I'm at work my husband looked at porn. What to do?
Q. Hmm...where do I begin. I have a truly wonderful husband and we have four great kids. I've been a stay at home mom most of our marriage. I have just recently got a part-time job of the evening, and found out that he had been looking up porn on ...
A. 15 November 2007: Although you're hurt, try to understand that many men are just different than women when it comes to porn. It is not a personal thing for them. It's pure sex. no emotion connection or commitment. It doesn't mean they'd cheat or that they desire ... (read in full...)
I loved sex before I was married, now I hate it!
Q. I'm married four years before my wedding i love sex but since i've been married i hatd it. Please help....
A. 15 November 2007: I do believe that most of the problem when someone is not interested in sex is attitude. Before you get too hard on yourself though, twice a week is about normal. Although it could be a medical reason, many of us just get lazy once the thrill of ... (read in full...)
In love with the man I'm having an emotional affair with, but don't have the strength to leave my husband.
Q. I've been having an emotional affair with a guy i work with for 4 years, we email all the time. he also sees someone we both work with. I am married. I am in love with him, but don't have the strength to leave my husband.Any advice?...
A. 15 November 2007: Do you have kids? If you can not be faithful to your husband, perhpas you should move out and leave him and the children. Let them have a chance to have a happy female role model in the house. The most important thing is to determin if you've ... (read in full...)
He met this woman on holiday, but said nothing happened, but they are still in contact, should I just leave him?
Q. I have lived with this guy for 10 years. In the fall he went on a trip with his son and met this woman from another country and spent the whole week with her. They went Jet Skiing and partied all week together. He told me about her and said they ...
A. 15 November 2007: Well it seems like one of them, maybe both have a little bit of a crush going on. This is really difficult and I understand. It's quite possible they had fun all week and did nothing physical. I'd have to bet though that it crossed their minds, ... (read in full...)
I told him I'm not in the mood for the first time , he has not taken it well, how can I reassure him?
Q. Hi, I have been having a little more than a few problems of late and to cut a long story short, Last night for the first time ever in my 2 yr relationship I said to my b/f that I was not feeling very sexual as I was so tired and had not slept in...
A. 15 November 2007: I don't think he has much to complain about. I've been married for 22 years and I went through a period where I felt unwanted. We often take each other for granted because we know our partners are not leaving. If you had said you didn't have sex ... (read in full...)
He won't give me oral, but I give it to him, am I being unreasonable in wanting it?
Q. Hi everyone. Iam experiencing sexual troubles with my boyfriend. Iam 21, hes 22 and we have been going out for almost a year. We started having sex pretty recently and its pretty decent, except for one thing. I love recieving oral sex more than ...
A. 13 November 2007: The boyfriend is not being selfish, he's being honest. If she's giving oral and hates it, she's being foolish. Or you could say at least she's trying. It's not a tit for tat game.... (read in full...)
My partner calls his ex twice-third times a day - to ask about his children, he says. Am I being unreasonable?
Q. my partner sees his children twice a week 1 evening during the week and all day sunday as he works long hours those are the only times possible which i am in total agreement with; the problem i have is he calls his ex wife twice maybe three times a ...
A. 13 November 2007: Who is he supposed to call, the man in the moon? Do not get between him and his kids. That would be very selfish. That woman is the mother of his children. They will always be linked....forever. If you can't take it, consider finding a person ... (read in full...)
We both have an official partner and children. We've had occasional sex and suddenly he stops the affair. I think he's hiding what he really feels?
Q. I briefly had a connection with a guy 4 yrs ago. It didnt end on the best of terms.4 yrs later he tracked me down-literaly and we exchanged numbers. We have been texting to each other for the last 6 months and having occasional sex. We have great ...
A. 13 November 2007: Every negative point you mentioned about him also applies to you. Why do you either of you expect respect when you live lives that are void of it. There is very little integrity in your lives but you seem to think there should be. There is no ... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, especially not my sister's, but I am so curious if she's the product of an affair.
Q. Sometimes I think that my sister is not my whole sister. I mean we were raised thinking that we were from both of our parents. We are exactly one year and a few days apart. She is older. Anyways, our whole lives people asked us if we were even ...
A. 13 November 2007: Wow ! Are you ever opening a can of worms. You say you don't want to hurt any feelings. Hmmmmm, what is your point then? Your curiosity is more important than everything else. Your reasons for looking into this are not even valid. Leave this ... (read in full...)
How can I avoid sabotaging this relationship?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend has been sent away with work for a month or so. I'm missing him so badly and I have slipped into major paranoia mode. He texts me most days but says he has a work phone and will get in trouble if he keeps ringing me and texting me ...
A. 13 November 2007: The most important thing is you're aware you're going to sabotage the relationship. That's good. You might as well understand this now. You can NEVER control another person. Even if you manage to trick them into being controlled for a while, it ... (read in full...)
My gf's co-worker is very friendly to her, am I overreacting in being worried?
Q. My gf has co-worker (married) whom I've met. He is generous with his compliments (you look gorgeous, signs emails "XXX", your hair looks beautiful, you're boyfriend is lucky). And when talking to her, he touches her shoulder/arm often. He i...
A. 12 November 2007: It sounds to me as though he's crossing the line somewhat. It really depends on their relationship. It's also possible she enjoys the attention and let's him get away with it. By telling you she puts it out on the table so you can't say she's ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being mad.
Q. I cant seem to trust my husband anymore.Im finding info to lead to other females hes in contact with but when i bring it up nothing really comes out of it.We have been together so long that sometimes I'm not sure if its me or him that has a ...
A. 12 November 2007: Much depends on what you have found out and what he's told them. It depends on your state of mind and the history of your marriage. Those who say it's not your fault might be wrong. They might be correct too. Nobody knows the truth until you ... (read in full...)
Advice on MFM threesome... I'm a little nervous.
Q. I am about to have my first MMF threesome with my boyfriend and another guy, both straight. I am a little nervous and just wondered can anyone give me some advice? Its all going to be at my pace, I wondered should I have the new guy first, then my ...
A. 11 November 2007: There is no guarantee about any type of hygiene or diseases. This is the risk you take when you enter this type of thing. People who do this are sexually liberal and quite possibly have been risk taker s in the past. Hence, you're in the high ... (read in full...)
Man cheats on "girlfriend"
Q. I have a 50ish male friend in a psuedo relationship. They were once engaged but now live apart and no longer have sex because of "sexual issues". Yet he calls her his girlfriend but lies to her and cheats on her. I've heard she cheats on him too. ...
A. 11 November 2007: Nobody can really answer that question with the minimal information you provided. Any answer would just be based on assumptions and speculation.... (read in full...)
I'm becoming addicted to porn because my dates never go well and it's getting to my self esteem, how shall I deal with this?
Q. I'm 20 years old and I have trouble when asking girls out. I did eventually get a date but it was awful and I thought I could make up for it by asking a second date (she never text back). I've started to get depressed about it as this happens ...
A. 11 November 2007: You have to mention all the details to your therapist. Porn will not help you if you're already in a bad spot with women. As I told my son, what you see in those films is not what the average woman wants. Do not expect women to behave that way ... (read in full...)
She is taking my baby away from me before it is even born. What can I do?
Q. My ex girlfield is about to have my baby and is trying to stop me from having contact see is back with her ex of 4 years and is getting married next year see says she will put his name down as the father and he has agreed although he knows he is not ...
A. 10 November 2007: I'd have to say, as a father, that nobody would take away my rights as a dad. I don't agree that you have to do what's best for the child. That is a little too altruistic and easier said than done. That doesn't sound as it should but what I mean ... (read in full...)
She feels dirty.
Q. Alright...I recently found out that my girlfriend of over a year and half cheated on me. This guy kissed her and tried to put the "moves" on her but she said she stopped it. She said this guy made her feel like I used to make her feel when we were ...
A. 10 November 2007: This guys advances were not unwanted. Your girlfriend did put herself in a position of appearing to be open to this type of thing. Based on the information you gave, she was a willing participant. It doesn't make the guy bad either. He did ... (read in full...)
Am I foolish or should I trust him?
Q. PLEASE HELP!!!! I have a boyfriend of 15 months who is so good to me. He's everything I could ever ask for. Smart, funny, attentive, and so kind to me...truly everything. We are both early 40's. The problem is that when we first started ...
A. 9 November 2007: He was in a different frame of mind at that a time. There was not as much depth to your relationship so it did not have the value that it has today. He might have thought he was in a gray area but since you were not exclusive, he can claim he was ... (read in full...)
Is this cheating
Q. i kissed a lad on the cheek to say thankyou and he kissed me on the cheek back is this cheating on my boyfriend?...
A. 8 November 2007: It could be cheating, flirting or nothing at all. It totally depends on the context and the details. If there was absolutely nothing between the two of you then it's not cheating. If the guy likes you, you're aware of it and you were too close to ... (read in full...)
I cheated and can't get over the guilt.
Q. I cheated on my husband and can't deal with the guilt.I want a divorce but he does'nt.What should I do?...
A. 8 November 2007: Nobody can really give you a decent answer because you gave very few details.... (read in full...)
He's even ignoring our kids to spend time upstairs ranting in his room, about everything. This is his constant behaviour. How do I deal?
Q. I've been married to my husband for a month now, and things have been great so far... until now. We've got a three-year-old daughter and a four-year-old son. However, recently my husband's changed. He's began ranting about everything and a...
A. 8 November 2007: This sounds strange. There might be something really bothering your husband or perhaps he has some sort of mental problem. It sounds like you might need some third party help. ... (read in full...)
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