Like what
he writes?
... Add *ddie to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
|
| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
|
Why do men go to massage parlors? Is my husband a sex addict?
Q. Just want to find some answers, my boyfriend went to a massage parlor and want to find out why men go to these places? he says he doesnt know. I am wondering if he is a sex addict? Does he really love me? how can he when he went there? If there is ...
A. 27 September 2007: Many massage parlors are legitimate. Was it a sexual one or actually for a real massage? If he went to a sexual one then the answer is easy. He went so a woman would give him sexual pleasure. There is no other reason.... (read in full...)
How do I change my resurfaced feelings about a wonderful wife?
Q. How do I change my resurfaced feelings about a wonderful wife? I hope I can keep this short, but it is complicated. I would love to hear comments from people like Mandy7 and happytochat. My wife and I were both once divorced. Both of us had had only...
A. 27 September 2007: It's great that you have come a long way. Now, you MUST focus on that. I have suffered some of the same things as you. DO NOT dwell on the past. Because we were put put down or told what to do as youths, we almost feel a reward when we beat at ... (read in full...)
Too much too late?
Q. Have been married 18 yrs and 3 kids 17, 15, 11, last few years Ive been unhappy. I finnaly told husband I wasnt happy and I dont have the same feelings for him. Now he is trying to change over night and do things he has never done, do dished, ...
A. 27 September 2007: Spelling alert in my post....First paragraph should read..."many things begin to influence"... (read in full...)
How do I change my resurfaced feelings about a wonderful wife?
Q. How do I change my resurfaced feelings about a wonderful wife? I hope I can keep this short, but it is complicated. I would love to hear comments from people like Mandy7 and happytochat. My wife and I were both once divorced. Both of us had had only...
A. 27 September 2007: I have to agree with Irish49. There is no real benefit of knowing your mates sexual past. Generally speaking perhaps but the blow job in the hot air balloon concept was good. In that scenario, if you were ever in a balloon and she didn't feel ... (read in full...)
Too much too late?
Q. Have been married 18 yrs and 3 kids 17, 15, 11, last few years Ive been unhappy. I finnaly told husband I wasnt happy and I dont have the same feelings for him. Now he is trying to change over night and do things he has never done, do dished, ...
A. 27 September 2007: First of all, I'd like to say that advice telling you that it is all about you and your feelings is very narrow minded. You are very important but not the only person in the equation. Often we get caught up in ourselves and make poor choices. ... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking this?
Q. I really need some prespective on my situation...I'm at a total loss here and I feel like if I don't get this off my chest I'm going to end up causing a fight with my BF He is in Japan for work and I am in the US, so today I called him to chat at ...
A. 27 September 2007: It sounds like you're over thinking this. He didn't say you lacked anything. It's your poor opinion of yourself that is driving you to this assumption. Don't put words i his mouth and then try to hang him with the words. ... (read in full...)
Is a relationship with a priest wrong (if you're in love)?
Q. i had a relationship with a priest. is it wrong to have a relationship with a priest even if we love each other?...
A. 27 September 2007: It's not wrong for you to love a priest or for him to love you. It is wrong to allow yourselves to get to the point where it's common knowledge. At some point you crossed the boundary of how a Catholic should desire to be with a priest and he ... (read in full...)
How do I change my resurfaced feelings about a wonderful wife?
Q. How do I change my resurfaced feelings about a wonderful wife? I hope I can keep this short, but it is complicated. I would love to hear comments from people like Mandy7 and happytochat. My wife and I were both once divorced. Both of us had had only...
A. 27 September 2007: This is interesting. You sound like in general you're both somewhat sexually liberated, perhaps her a little more. I understand you don't relish the concept of her being with other men in the past....but...you were having sex with other women ... (read in full...)
Do you think what I did was cheating?
Q. I have been married for 14 years and a year ago my best friend and I had too much to drink and we kissed for less then 2 minutes(female). I told my husband yesterday and he said I cheated so it's over. Do you think that is cheating?...
A. 27 September 2007: I'd like to add on comment. Some people mention establishing boundaries in relationships. That is important. If you go out alone, can you dance with someone, can you go out for lunch with a co worker of the opposite sex, can you go to work ... (read in full...)
Do you think what I did was cheating?
Q. I have been married for 14 years and a year ago my best friend and I had too much to drink and we kissed for less then 2 minutes(female). I told my husband yesterday and he said I cheated so it's over. Do you think that is cheating?...
A. 27 September 2007: Anybody who says that kissing another person like that is not considered cheating is out of there mind. Unless you are in a relationship that allows that type of thing, it's cheating. THAT is why she kept it a secret for so long. She knew it ... (read in full...)
Why do men need porn?
Q. If women get off without porn why can't men get off on the feeling alone also? Why is porn needed??...
A. 26 September 2007: Who says men "need" porn. I'm a man and don't have any. Do some men enjoy porn at "many" different levels? Yes. Some guy may have movies and another may read Playboy sometimes. Why do women need so many pairs of shoes? Purses? Make up? ... (read in full...)
Is love at first sight true? Ready to sacrifice everything to be together, though I'm married and know this person for a month.
Q. I am a 47 year old male with a professional job and have been married for 16 years. About a month ago I met a 39 year old female hispanic woman who speaks some english and we can hold conversations very well at a conference. She is also married for ...
A. 26 September 2007: I agree with eyes wide open. This is lust at first sight. Also, there is not way to test this without cheating. so if your marriage is/was sound before this meeting, move on. You're doing nothing but fanning the flames of lust by carrying on for ... (read in full...)
He left me for his ex and mother of his two children the day after our miscarriage! How do I get him back?
Q. Hi everyone, im going through hell. i have just broken up with my bfriend, he has left me to move back in with is ex. we find out i had a miscarriage on the tuesday and on the wed he moved out with his two kids, who i helped surport. They loved me...
A. 26 September 2007: I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage. That is never pleasant.
You say your guy went back to his ex. You say he left her because he liked you better and that she is a larger woman and you are better. His children say she is boring. ... (read in full...)
My bf told me he slept with a married woman 14 years ago, should we continue this if our moral compasses are so far apart?
Q. My boyfriend slept with a married woman about 14 years ago at work. He wants to forget about it but since he has told me, it practically broke up the relationship because it is something I would NEVER do (I've always thought people who do this are ...
A. 22 September 2007: Yes, your boyfriend did a rotten thing. Now you want to do one too. It is NONE of your business to run around digging up skeletons in other people's closets. If your boyfriend did this as a young person with no idea how sacred marriage is, that ... (read in full...)
He said hes begining to like me but he has a wife and child. What am I going to do?
Q. I like this guy and he said he's beginning to like me too..but the problem is he has a wife and a child..what am i going to do?..should i believe him?...
A. 22 September 2007: You are going to be your own worst enemy withthat attitude. That is also what youll use for an excuse if your fail. so, in order to suceed you have to agree that the moral thing to so is to stay away for the guy. When you do that, it's over. You ... (read in full...)
He said hes begining to like me but he has a wife and child. What am I going to do?
Q. I like this guy and he said he's beginning to like me too..but the problem is he has a wife and a child..what am i going to do?..should i believe him?...
A. 21 September 2007: Sometimes it is easy to judge people. People who make poor choices allow themselves to be part of the problem. They often try to justify the pain they cause based on the pain they suffered. Life doesn't work like that. You reap what you sow. ... (read in full...)
What do people think about dogging?
Q. ok how does people think about dogging my husband of 20 yrs wants us to go he thinks it might spice up our sex life his fantasy is to see me with other men. sound weird my fantasy is to see him with another women. trouble is he has recently been ...
A. 21 September 2007: Sometimes when I'm unsure of something, I step back and imagine I'm actually watching myself do the act. It's like being a fly on the wall. It can give you a more realistic idea of what it actually is or how ridiculous it might look.... (read in full...)
I think I have fallen for my wife's sister!
Q. i have fallen in love with my wife's sister. i think she feels the same way for me. should i tell her how i feel about her or just keep this to myself?...
A. 20 September 2007: You think you've fallen for your wifes sister???? You haven't experienced falling for anything yet. Wait until she cracks you over the head with a frying pan, then you'll fall...Don't do it.... (read in full...)
Can someone explain the reasoning behind what people talk about as "stains" in a males' underwear and how that relates to possible cheating?
Q. I feel a bit uneducated in this matter and want someone to explain the reasoning behind what people talk about as "stains" in a males underwear and how that relates to possible cheating? Could someone enlighten me on what this is all about please...
A. 20 September 2007: Hmmm, I dont know about this. HAve you ever taken a peek at a pair of womens panties....????... (read in full...)
I cheated on my fiance b/c I felt lonely! Do I tell him? How can I repair the relationship?
Q. I been with the same guy for the past five years. We got engaged a few months ago. He is truely a wonderful man. Two nights ago I cheated on him with a guy I work with. I believe that the reason I cheated was because I was lonely. My fiance has ...
A. 19 September 2007: Now you'll have to wait and see how he reacts. Be kind to him, he's hurt badly. This is the down side of cheating and it was all for nothing. A few days ago you thought it was worth it, now it's sadly not. There is a price to pay for infidelity. ... (read in full...)
I want the man I can't have and don't want the man I married!
Q. My husband and I have pretty much had problems since day one. In fact, probably since before we were even married. Right now he's off in Iraq (don't worry, his job isn't anything remotely dangerous), and I feel like I like my life better without him ...
A. 19 September 2007: That is a good choice. I'm glad to hear you didn't get physical with he other guy. Remember if things work out with your husband, he must never know about this. It would haunt him forever and he'd feel like a chump. He would also never believe ... (read in full...)
Has anyone had a good relationship w/ their affair and/or w/ someone who is already attached?
Q. Just wondering, has anyone ever had a happy ending out of having an affair, with a married partner or with someone who is just attatched? I'm just curious....
A. 19 September 2007: You can't help who you fall for but you can help how you react to your feelings. Age does make some of us older and wiser. Some of the opinions of 18-21 year olds are not from experience. At that young age, people feel invincible. I'm not saying ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my fiance b/c I felt lonely! Do I tell him? How can I repair the relationship?
Q. I been with the same guy for the past five years. We got engaged a few months ago. He is truely a wonderful man. Two nights ago I cheated on him with a guy I work with. I believe that the reason I cheated was because I was lonely. My fiance has ...
A. 19 September 2007: Again I say, don't get married. I think you're unpreparred.... (read in full...)
I want the man I can't have and don't want the man I married!
Q. My husband and I have pretty much had problems since day one. In fact, probably since before we were even married. Right now he's off in Iraq (don't worry, his job isn't anything remotely dangerous), and I feel like I like my life better without him ...
A. 18 September 2007: I respectfully say to you that although everyone has different values, some values are not worth much. Values that cause pain, harm and suffering are not really valuable. If something has value, it is a positive, it's worth something. An action ... (read in full...)
My partner confimed my belief that all men would be unfaithful if they could! But he said he's different. Why should he be?
Q. Please, would you give me your view?. It is my suspicion that all men would be unfaithful if they could and were not found out and the person offering sex was attractive enough. My partner told me that I can trust HIM, because he values our ...
A. 18 September 2007: What a sad bunch of cynical women some of you are. I think men and women think of sex in different ways, generally speaking. I do think many men could do the physical act of sex without much forethought or remorse where the average woman might ... (read in full...)
My gf booked this trip with her best mate before we met! I'm scared she will come back changed.
Q. I love my girlfriend dearly but she has left for three months traveling with her best mate. We have been together just under a year and she booked the trip month before we met. She said she will miss me lots and I want to believe her but I am scare...
A. 18 September 2007: Anything could happen, that's true. But do you want to be the anchor around her neck that stopped her from going. She'll resent you and her friend will hate you. She'll never let you forget it. You'd only be stopping her for your insecurity.... (read in full...)
I don't think he cheated, but I'm still insecure b/c of two incidents that occurred w/ him and other women! Any advice?
Q. The long and the short of it is this... I have been with my husband for over 8 years. In the beginning we were both young and immature and both of us did some things that weren't totally "kosher" but nothing serious or abnormal - harmless flirting ...
A. 18 September 2007: He probably didn't run into the woman by accident or coincidence. I can't imagine that happening. He had probably talked about meeting her there etc. That is not bad in itself, if everything was based on this forum connection they had. If he had ... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling so needy and dependant?
Q. I rely too much on being in a relationship with my girlfriend for happiness, which means I'm always trying to make it more secure by being overly affectionate (which in turn means, I interpret a lack of return affection in a negative manner, and ...
A. 18 September 2007: You have to believe that you have value and you're worth her attention. IF you don't, you'll end up being jealous and controlling because you'll fear the unknown. Then when you start to try and control the situation by controlling her, you'll ... (read in full...)
I found a shirt he only wears when he goes out in his car, but we hadn't been out in a while
Q. My b/f and i were planning on going away for a long weekend. I usually do not see him on wednesdays but since we were leaving thursday morning I saw him straight from work so we can leave in the morning. I get in his car..and i see a plastic bag in ...
A. 18 September 2007: Ok, I don't get it. You found a shirt in his car he wears when you go out. IS the shirt that special? Are you concerned he went out without telling you because you found the shirt. Instead of beating around the bush, ask him. You've already ... (read in full...)
I want the man I can't have and don't want the man I married!
Q. My husband and I have pretty much had problems since day one. In fact, probably since before we were even married. Right now he's off in Iraq (don't worry, his job isn't anything remotely dangerous), and I feel like I like my life better without him ...
A. 18 September 2007: First of all, realize that you are cheating. You are cheating emotionally because you're a married woman and choosing to put yourself in a position of "dating" a person you're calling a "friend". He's not a friend, get that straight. He's a man ... (read in full...)
Has anyone had a good relationship w/ their affair and/or w/ someone who is already attached?
Q. Just wondering, has anyone ever had a happy ending out of having an affair, with a married partner or with someone who is just attatched? I'm just curious....
A. 18 September 2007: I'm sure there are people who have ended up happy after starting the affair. But, you always have to live with the fact yo began your relationship on a rotten path. People who rob little old ladies, and don't get caught are happy too. So are ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my fiance b/c I felt lonely! Do I tell him? How can I repair the relationship?
Q. I been with the same guy for the past five years. We got engaged a few months ago. He is truely a wonderful man. Two nights ago I cheated on him with a guy I work with. I believe that the reason I cheated was because I was lonely. My fiance has ...
A. 18 September 2007: I'd be interested to hear how you got to the point where you actually physically cheated. What happened that day that got you to that point? Had this been brewing up over time? It doesn't' sound like a coincidence to me.
I do no think you're r... (read in full...)
She has this other guy hanging around and I need to know--how do I save my relationship with her?
Q. Here is my problem. I met my current girlfriend more than a year ago here in Los Angeles, CA. We were together since then. I've been in two relationships before, but I'm her first boyfriend. Four months ago, she had to move because her parents ...
A. 17 September 2007: There is not much you can do except be a decent guy and give her the space she wants. She's trying to inform you, politely, that she is interested in dating others. I give her credit for that. She could do it behind your back and you'd never ... (read in full...)
Will he tell his wife about the affair???
Q. Hi, I became very good friends with my neighbour who was (is) in a very unhappy marriage. He did not even need to tell myself, my husband of 9 years (at the time)or our tennant. She mistreats and isolates him as badly as my ex mistreated and i...
A. 17 September 2007: If you didn't enjoy being the victim of many affairs, why would you perpetuate the lifestyle by living it for yourself and playing that game. Reality and truth are not always pleasant. I'll stand by what I said, playing with fire hurts. Denial ... (read in full...)
I aborted the child of a married man I had an affair with... What would you do?
Q. i had an affair with a married man for one year. i fell pregnant and he said it wasn't the right time for us to be having children but we would when i no longer worked with him and i had my own flat. i had the abortion, reluctantly but then he ...
A. 16 September 2007: Youth has you in a position of ignorance. You are blind to reality. I'm sorry if that's blunt but what would you prefer? Should I say...it's too bad you made such poor choices. I hope the next time you want to sleep with another woman's husband ... (read in full...)
Should I let my 16 year old daughter sleep in the same bed with her bf?
Q. me my husband and our daughter are going on holiday for a week soon and i've told her she can take her bf who i know extremely well and have known all his life. I was just wondering what you would think if i let them sleep in the same bed. They...
A. 16 September 2007: I can't really believe you don't think they'll do anything. You also say you trust them to use protection.....I'm sorry to be blunt but that's crazy talk. If they are normal teenagers, every hormone and in their bodies will be jumping for joy. ... (read in full...)
Will he tell his wife about the affair???
Q. Hi, I became very good friends with my neighbour who was (is) in a very unhappy marriage. He did not even need to tell myself, my husband of 9 years (at the time)or our tennant. She mistreats and isolates him as badly as my ex mistreated and i...
A. 16 September 2007: She will do what she chooses to do and you'll live with the consequences. Nobody can guess about what a stranger will do in any circumstances. Playing with fire hurts....right?... (read in full...)
Having a sexual relation with a guy who's in a long term. I really like him, need some perspective on this.
Q. I'm having passionate sex with a guy who's got a long term gf. He works in my city alot so shes never found out. Everything was going fine, until i started to have feeling for him after 2 months, i wanted to tell him, although after a conversa...
A. 15 September 2007: There is really nothing confusing about it. You both have very little integrity, are selfish and don't care about hurting others. That is it basically. You can not be "friends". Friends go shopping, running, ball games etc. You guys take your ... (read in full...)
I aborted the child of a married man I had an affair with... What would you do?
Q. i had an affair with a married man for one year. i fell pregnant and he said it wasn't the right time for us to be having children but we would when i no longer worked with him and i had my own flat. i had the abortion, reluctantly but then he ...
A. 15 September 2007: Why do you want to expose him? Do you want to put him in a bad light so he looks like a creep. Have you considered that it also makes you look like a creepy person too? You're both doing careless, hurtful things. You're no better that he is, ... (read in full...)
Is my fiance cheap? He makes 2800 a month and spend 2000 on my ring.
Q. Is my fiance cheap? He makes 2800 a month and spend 2000 on my ring....
A. 15 September 2007: I dont know if he's cheap....BUT...you sound greedy and out of focus. You have some things to learn.... (read in full...)
My wife was harassed when out for a drink with friends. She's scared and blaming herself, what to do to reassure her?
Q. Hi this morning my wife seemed abit upset it took her ages to admit what was wrong but she went out with some of her friends for a drink last night and there was this guy trying his best to well i won't say make a pass at her but he kept hinting he ...
A. 14 September 2007: I suppose a man who thinks this way is a little thick. He doesn't understand and and feels someone might eventually see things his way. since he doesn't know or respect the woman, he feels he has nothing to loose. After all, some women go for it ... (read in full...)
My wife was harassed when out for a drink with friends. She's scared and blaming herself, what to do to reassure her?
Q. Hi this morning my wife seemed abit upset it took her ages to admit what was wrong but she went out with some of her friends for a drink last night and there was this guy trying his best to well i won't say make a pass at her but he kept hinting he ...
A. 14 September 2007: I still don't think she's afraid of the guy. I think she's afraid that you might get the wrong impression because she chose not to leave.
I always ask myself this question: What would a fly on the wall think if it had witnessed the entire e... (read in full...)
My wife was harassed when out for a drink with friends. She's scared and blaming herself, what to do to reassure her?
Q. Hi this morning my wife seemed abit upset it took her ages to admit what was wrong but she went out with some of her friends for a drink last night and there was this guy trying his best to well i won't say make a pass at her but he kept hinting he ...
A. 14 September 2007: I'd like to add something to my previous post. I was thinking about it while I was out cycling. People have a way of minimizing their participation in an event, especially when it's something they regret. In a situation like you're writing about, ... (read in full...)
My wife was harassed when out for a drink with friends. She's scared and blaming herself, what to do to reassure her?
Q. Hi this morning my wife seemed abit upset it took her ages to admit what was wrong but she went out with some of her friends for a drink last night and there was this guy trying his best to well i won't say make a pass at her but he kept hinting he ...
A. 14 September 2007: If what she what she said was true, I'm not sure why she was that upset. Of course, if the guy was being "really" obnoxious, that would explain things. He wasn't though. To be afraid is a little more that I would expect.
It's possible that she... (read in full...)
| *ddie's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ddie has
added them and they have added *ddie!
|
