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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I just had a baby and now my partner seems unimportant!
Q. Dear Agony Aunts! Please help me as you've always guided me so well in the past.. I am 23 and my boyfriend of 2 years and I have just had a beautiful baby boy whom I absolutely adore.. The only thing is that now he is 4 months old, he seems to...
A. 5 July 2008: It's good your realize your feelings. For many people this begins the slide into being content and never bothering to turn over any more stones. It also leads to boredom and cheating.
NEVER forget where your son came from. Never forget that you... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid for thinking we still have a chance? My fiance said he's not attracted to me anymore!
Q. My live in fiance'of four years just told me one day that he wasn't attracted to me anymore because I gained too much weight and he wasn't in love with me anymore. He was breaking up with me and moving out. He added that since I postponed our ...
A. 4 July 2008: One very important question....If he is n o longer physically attracted to you because you've gained weight, why is he still sleeping with you. Why are you allowing him to sleep with you?
He may have been honest enough to get out of the relation... (read in full...)
I am married but considering leaving for a married man, should I do it?
Q. I am married and I fall in love with a married man.We were together 3 years,then I left with my family(I have a daughter 15yo)abroad.I thought this man would stop me from leaving,but he didn´t...he kept silent till my very last day before the ...
A. 4 July 2008: It sounds like your marriage is over. You should have the decency/courage to let your husband have his freedom. He should know the truth. The reason for all this complication is because you are allowing complications to occur. Usted esta ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Over 600,000 visitors last month!
Q. Just a quickie We broke the 600,000 unique users/month (i.e. people!) last month. According to google analytics we had 638,310 visitors from June 1st to June 30th. Doesn't seem that long ago we passed the half a million mark. Thanks to all t...
A. 4 July 2008: Great news. Good work and let's hope things continue to grow and remain tasteful.
eddie... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can say or do so that my b/f doesn't cheat on me while I'm gone?
Q. I'm going on vacation for a week and I'm wondering if there's anything I can say or do so that my b/f doesn't cheat on me while I'm gone. We both work together and I feel threatened by this other girl. Please help!!!...
A. 4 July 2008: You can never guarantee he won't cheat. As far as you're concerned, he's already guilty. You can never control other people by force. The either do the correct things because it's the proper thing to do....or they don't. If they don't love you ... (read in full...)
I have a serious problem, trusting my boyfriend completely, what can I do?
Q. ok hi erm i have trust issues as i have been cheated on in the past and its also happened with close friends. im in a relationship long distance and it seems when i have spare time on my hands i think about him and then it escalades to trusting him. ...
A. 4 July 2008: What are you gaining by not trusting him? Do you think if you control him he'll love you more. The only thing you can do is let him be free. If he cheats, he's the fool. not you. You can not stop someone from cheating by acting like a warden. ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about my girlfriend returning to an old workplace where she originally met this guy?
Q. Should I be worried? I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now, and we're doing quite well at the moment. We've been close to breaking up once or twice before while we were separated during college, but I've always been able to put a stop to ...
A. 1 July 2008: They can never be "friends". He did not want a friendship with her. He wanted more. She knew that and enjoyed the attention. Both of those thoughts are OK too, just not while she's your girlfriend.
We have to accept that there will always b... (read in full...)
My husband left me when he found out I lied to him years ago, now I can't make him listen to my side of the story.
Q. My husband left us just before Xmas saying that he 'wanted out' and didn't feel anything for me anymore. This started because many years ago I told him a lie and he found out about it. The thing is the lie was explainable and justifiable but he will ...
A. 1 July 2008: I can't understand why he's really hanging on to this. You don't sound too remorseful either although I suppose time has a way of cleansing our consciences. What you did was a crime but I don't get why he wants to make this stand. ... (read in full...)
My husband left me when he found out I lied to him years ago, now I can't make him listen to my side of the story.
Q. My husband left us just before Xmas saying that he 'wanted out' and didn't feel anything for me anymore. This started because many years ago I told him a lie and he found out about it. The thing is the lie was explainable and justifiable but he will ...
A. 30 June 2008: Considering nobody knows you, it must be a whopper of a lie if you're afraid to disclose the information. Once again, I have a difficult time blaming him if you're not willing to give me the facts. I don't have a complete picture. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be platonic friends with a previous fling?
Q. Is it possible for a guy to have a friendship with a female outside our relationship? Keeping in mind that they had once had a fling in the past, and that my boyfriend was attracted to her. Can I trust their friendship?...
A. 30 June 2008: She sounds like she is a little needy and expects a lot from him. He needs to keep control of the situation and respect your wishes. At the least there needs to be a compromise. Keep your eyes open. I can honestly say that I could be friends ... (read in full...)
I have to keep backing of because she suspects us! How should I handle this?
Q. Hi, after 27yrs i have full circled and meet up with my First love, who i fell inlove with when i was 14yrs old and he 17yrs old, We will call him J. i was married for 13yrs to another man had 3 children that were not his but he brought them up. ...
A. 30 June 2008: Take the high road and change your life. By doing this, you stay out of his life, as well as his significant others. You see, if people did what was Morally right in the first place, these issues wouldn't arise. people tend to do what suits them ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be platonic friends with a previous fling?
Q. Is it possible for a guy to have a friendship with a female outside our relationship? Keeping in mind that they had once had a fling in the past, and that my boyfriend was attracted to her. Can I trust their friendship?...
A. 29 June 2008: I wouldn't be too happy about it. It's not so much that he was attracted to her, men are quite often attracted to anything with a pulse. The problem is that SHE was attracted to him and has been known to make herself available to him in the past. ... (read in full...)
I have to keep backing of because she suspects us! How should I handle this?
Q. Hi, after 27yrs i have full circled and meet up with my First love, who i fell inlove with when i was 14yrs old and he 17yrs old, We will call him J. i was married for 13yrs to another man had 3 children that were not his but he brought them up. ...
A. 29 June 2008: I read your reply and it seems clear to me that you love playing messing games. I would say you need to speak with a therapist to help you figure out these destructive ways. If you take a look at what you've written you'll see that you're spinning ... (read in full...)
I have to keep backing of because she suspects us! How should I handle this?
Q. Hi, after 27yrs i have full circled and meet up with my First love, who i fell inlove with when i was 14yrs old and he 17yrs old, We will call him J. i was married for 13yrs to another man had 3 children that were not his but he brought them up. ...
A. 29 June 2008: "He was in a relationship at the time. I thought well I just need to tell him."....This says a lot about you. That was a very selfish thing to do. Who were you to stick your nose into their lives. You get what you deserve as far as I'm ... (read in full...)
I have to keep backing of because she suspects us! How should I handle this?
Q. Hi, after 27yrs i have full circled and meet up with my First love, who i fell inlove with when i was 14yrs old and he 17yrs old, We will call him J. i was married for 13yrs to another man had 3 children that were not his but he brought them up. ...
A. 29 June 2008: "He was in a relationship at the time. I thought well I just need to tell him."....This says a lot about you. That was a very selfish thing to do. Who were you to stick your nose into their lives. You get what you deserve as far as I'm ... (read in full...)
My husband left me when he found out I lied to him years ago, now I can't make him listen to my side of the story.
Q. My husband left us just before Xmas saying that he 'wanted out' and didn't feel anything for me anymore. This started because many years ago I told him a lie and he found out about it. The thing is the lie was explainable and justifiable but he will ...
A. 29 June 2008: I think you left out the biggest piece of information here.....What was the lie? At this point the only person trying to justify something is you. You're minimizing the lie to suit your side of the story.
If the lie had something to do with ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin - I'm left wondering whether she is or not. My fiance`s past relationship is bothering me.
Q. This question stems from my fiances past relationship and my inexperience with relationships, but before I think crazy things I need your experienced advice. This is a long and boring read so bear with me if you really want to help me. ABOUT ME ...
A. 28 June 2008: Your cultural ways are something that many people will not be able to identify with. At least those from the west. I'm not saying they're good or bad, just not the "norm" for this part of the world.
Having said that, it sounds like it is impor... (read in full...)
I'm just curious about the 'Friends with Benefits' thing while in relationships,
Q. A guy asked me if i wanted to be friends with benefits with him, and i never done it before, the only thing that worries me is that one of us could end up feeling more than just friend with one or other and we are both in a relationship, he's not...
A. 21 June 2008: What is your definition of the word "friend"? Friends go shopping and share interests. This is about sex because if you weren't sleeping with him he wouldn't be so interested in your friendship. Don't be a cheater anymore.... (read in full...)
Do I have any rights with regard to her selling the ring before divorce?
Q. My wife has sold her engagement ring and has left the state, she even had a change of address 3 weeks ago, then, this week I filed for divorce. Do I have any rights with regard to her selling the ring before divorce? ...
A. 21 June 2008: How long were you married? This is where divorce starts to get ugly. I'm assuming you don't have much cash left but is it really worth fighting over a ring? Jewelery is so overpriced that it is really worth much less than you paid for it. It's ... (read in full...)
Is he too young for me do you think?
Q. I wonder if anyone can advise me on a startling new problem that's come up. Im 35 and single, never been married or had kids, and a few years ago got to know a lovely guy through some friends, who was 19. i found him really attractive and ...
A. 19 June 2008: There is no reason why you can't go for it but it probably won't last. I don't mean to be negative but there is a really good chance he could see this as a feather in his cap type of thing. When I was in college and the same age, there was a woman ... (read in full...)
My wife's paranoia is driving me mad!
Q. I have been married for three years and dated my wife for 10 years before that. I have never cheated on her or even come close. Even when we did the long distance relationship thing for several years, I never so much as talked to another woman as ...
A. 19 June 2008: You can't make someone not jealous unless you give into their demands. the, they are actually still jealous, just at peace for the moment. Every time a person gives i to the jealousy of another individual, it only solidifies the jealous person's ... (read in full...)
Is life all about religion, or is it about being happy and feeling fulfilled?
Q. First off, please do not judge my situation. I am involved in a moral and emotional dilemma and am seeking whole-hearted answers, not judgments. I have been involved with a MM for over 6 months. We have known each other for over a year; we work tog...
A. 16 June 2008: You are trying to get off the hook (justify) an incredible amount of inappropriate behavior on your part as well as you MM. The hypocrisy about trying to go down the road of religion for yourself and your MM not asking for forgiveness until later ... (read in full...)
Can men please tell me why they watch porn? Is it because of disatisfaction with you partner?
Q. i have a question and i wish that most of the man can answer this. is woman or girl friend or wife needs to be jealous or angry or be mad or upset to their man when they are watching porn. do we woman needs to worry about it? what is you man ...
A. 16 June 2008: To the female anon poster....men get pleasure from seeing women whether they are dressed or not. I'm talking about women they are not married to. Pleasure is a broad word though. If I see a very attractive woman and I find her beauty pleasing, it ... (read in full...)
Not sure I want children, will I regret this?
Q. Evening everyone. I come from a large Italian family and Im due to marry my fiance who is also Italian in October. My problem is that im not sure I want children. I have discussed this with my fiance and he is convinced that in a few years I will...
A. 14 June 2008: I think old age could be very lonely without kids. I've heard many people say they are aunts and uncles and they know what the joy of being around kids is like. I have to say, as a parent, there is nothing like parenthood.
It sounds corny bu... (read in full...)
Can men please tell me why they watch porn? Is it because of disatisfaction with you partner?
Q. i have a question and i wish that most of the man can answer this. is woman or girl friend or wife needs to be jealous or angry or be mad or upset to their man when they are watching porn. do we woman needs to worry about it? what is you man ...
A. 14 June 2008: To Diovan Lestat....my views on porn are very basic. I don't buy it or go out of my way to get it. If I came across a picture or some type of pornographic material, I'd probably look. I have seen some porn movies as have most people. It's really ... (read in full...)
I just found my ex in MySpace and started talking again. Although I am married I feel there is now future for my marriage and feel lost... please help!
Q. 6/13/08 About a month ago, I found my ex on Myspace. I haven’t seen him in 7 years. We have a 7 year old daughter together, but he has not been in her life. She doesn’t know who he is. When we split up, I left him and asked him not to contact ...
A. 14 June 2008: The first paragraph says you're on a slippery slope. The second paragraph is the blah, blah, blah. The third paragraph is where you lie to yourself.
YOU may not be thrilled at home but you're pouring gasoline on a fire. You ARE mentally... (read in full...)
After looking at porn, my wife left me. How can I get her back?
Q. I have been married for seven years and my wife just moved out last week. I love her very much and I don't know what to do. She says that she needs time to find herself. To top this all off we have two kids. I want her back so much. What do I ...
A. 14 June 2008: How much of a "problem" do you have with porn?... (read in full...)
Can men please tell me why they watch porn? Is it because of disatisfaction with you partner?
Q. i have a question and i wish that most of the man can answer this. is woman or girl friend or wife needs to be jealous or angry or be mad or upset to their man when they are watching porn. do we woman needs to worry about it? what is you man ...
A. 14 June 2008: If you think Brad Pitt is really, really handsome, does that mean you find your husband ugly? See my point?... (read in full...)
Should've my friend "remove" me from this situation?
Q. I need to know if anyone out here "has" had an internet trist with someone you now? Meaning sending "naughty pictures and steamy latters". When I was away on a little trip I met some people that I partied with, got so drunk when we were out, my ...
A. 10 June 2008: Wow, your behavior was terrible and got worse. You might be able to put part of the blame on alcohol but what about when you were sober? You admitted all your short comings in your post. Work on those, not your friend. If there is a shadow of ... (read in full...)
Fiancee is abroad and spending time with another guy!
Q. Hello, This is my first post. I am emailing about my relationship with my fiancee. We have been together 5.5 years, and engaged for about 9 months now. She has been living abroad on a scholarship (grad school) for the past 4 months,...
A. 10 June 2008: She left to study....don't play the " I already went...it's not my sole responsabilit"...stuff. She is not the one complaining. If you are that concerned and can make the trip, then go. If some guy was sniffing around my lady I'd make an attempt ... (read in full...)
Fiancee is abroad and spending time with another guy!
Q. Hello, This is my first post. I am emailing about my relationship with my fiancee. We have been together 5.5 years, and engaged for about 9 months now. She has been living abroad on a scholarship (grad school) for the past 4 months,...
A. 8 June 2008: This is a long reply. This really must be difficult for you. I have been in a somewhat similar spot although it was much more brief. Let me see if I can make a comparison.
My wife was away visiting friends and some guy approached her while sh... (read in full...)
Should I be mad or worried?
Q. Hi all, I have been seeing this guy for nearly three months and everything has been great. he told me from the start that he was going on Vacation back to his home and would be gone for a month and I was cool with this everything has been great a...
A. 8 June 2008: I would contact my wife because thats the kind of guy I am. Others are less inclined to do so. If you're angry, it's understandable. Don't let it show though.
I've been in this type of situation. I live in Canada and my wife is from the Cari... (read in full...)
How do I know if he's lying?
Q. Very confused, need some help please. So my man is a tow truck driver so he works all the time. The problam is that he does impounds on the week end and is gone until about 3 am, sometimes when he gets home he smells like alchol and when i ask him ...
A. 8 June 2008: Who knows.......Of course it's possible. It's also possible he's telling the truth. Nobody can really tell you what is happening.... (read in full...)
She broke my heart and it took me months to get over her. Now after 9 months she texts me out of the blue and my wound reopened, what do I do now?
Q. Dear All..I have a major head masher...my ex and i split 9 months ago. It was messy, she told me i was the best, we made love, i kissed her as she left for work etc....then that evening, i was dumped...my heart laying bleeding...anyway, Its taken me...
A. 8 June 2008: She's probably discovered that her attempt at finding herself was not quite as fulfilling as she hoped. In other words, the novelty might have worn off. There is risk in going back to her. Are you prepared to take that chance and also, are your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I are compatible in almost everything, but he is not very affectionate and has a much lower sex-drive than me. I start wonder whether this is really what I want in life?
Q. My boyfriend of eight years is not affectionate and will only kiss me before sex (less than once a month, he has a much lower sex drive than me!). If I try to initiate affection he recoils. I do love him very much and he always makes me laugh. We ...
A. 8 June 2008: You seemed to pass over the affair part without much comment. What were the details of that? It seems the horses are already out of the barn.... (read in full...)
My GF's past is eating me up inside, partly because the long distance favours my idle mind to produce negative thoughts about her. Help?
Q. My gf and i have been dating for the past 1 1/2 years. I has been long distance relationship since we started going out. Every month i make a trip to see her and she does the same. After our 1 year anniversary we decided to have a conversation about ...
A. 7 June 2008: There is NOTHING you can do to change the past. You have to admit to yourself that her past had NOTHING to do with you and you were of no concern to her. You did not exist then. You do now though and if you want to maintain your status of her ... (read in full...)
How can I win back my husband's trust after I lied to him
Q. Hi I have been married for 6 years, before my husband whom I have been with for 10 years I had multiple partner. My husband is the complete opposite of me he had 1 partner for 15 years prior to me. When we initially got together he asked how many...
A. 7 June 2008: How many partners is multiple? You could tell him it's because you love him that you lied. You didn't want to tell him things that would make him feel bad. Tell him that this happened before him and that you are with him because you love him. ... (read in full...)
Why are woman attracted to players?
Q. Why is it guys that cheat and womanise, become even more attractive to women, ain't it kind of encourage other guys to cheat? are women reaping what they sow?...
A. 5 June 2008: There are all kinds of people out there. In general, people don't like cheaters. Period.... (read in full...)
When will the jealousy end?
Q. My new husband is incredibly jealous, he keeps checking my phone, isolating me from friends, and last night, when he saw a phone call to another man (the person who I buy boat parts from, which he knew I was ordering!), he now accuses me of cheating ...
A. 4 June 2008: The most important thing is to hold your ground. If you begin to crack he'll see it as proof that he's correct or justification his actions are warranted. He has to know, in no uncertain terms, that you will not put up with his games. He needs to ... (read in full...)
I don't want to divorce. Is my marriage over?
Q. About 8 months ago, I discovered my wife of 12 years was having an affair. I am a stay-at-home dad who runs a business from my home and does so because I love my three daughters dearly. My wife's schedule is very demanding, so she does not have the ...
A. 4 June 2008: Well, she should have told you about her thoughts before she found another man. It's easy for her to evaluate when she's taken the liberties sh took. It's not easy to evaluate with a clear mind when she's still communicating with the other guy ... (read in full...)
Wife's been keeping her mobile close and has mysterious messages on her facebook page!
Q. ive been married for 2 years and dating for 8 years and my wife has been going on face book for about 3 months shes been acting weired since then she keeps her mobile close to her chest when before she hardly use to go out with it ,i started to get ...
A. 3 June 2008: She may not be "planning" to cheat but she is sure putting herself in a position that quite often leads to cheating. Let's face it, platonic is platonic. If this guy is a buddy and she has no thoughts that are questionable, why hide the truth. If ... (read in full...)
Is life all about religion, or is it about being happy and feeling fulfilled?
Q. First off, please do not judge my situation. I am involved in a moral and emotional dilemma and am seeking whole-hearted answers, not judgments. I have been involved with a MM for over 6 months. We have known each other for over a year; we work tog...
A. 25 May 2008: I'd like to respectfully add one comment. There was an outside force working on this married man. It was the woman who told him she had the hots for him. That is an outside force. He chose to do wrong by following up on her tempting offer but ... (read in full...)
Is life all about religion, or is it about being happy and feeling fulfilled?
Q. First off, please do not judge my situation. I am involved in a moral and emotional dilemma and am seeking whole-hearted answers, not judgments. I have been involved with a MM for over 6 months. We have known each other for over a year; we work tog...
A. 25 May 2008: You say you feel awful for his wife BUT "it is was it is...what happened, happened" Yes, it sure sounds like you're struggling with your guilt over that.
You are not an honest person. You are naive. What is honorable about what you did? Yo... (read in full...)
Is life all about religion, or is it about being happy and feeling fulfilled?
Q. First off, please do not judge my situation. I am involved in a moral and emotional dilemma and am seeking whole-hearted answers, not judgments. I have been involved with a MM for over 6 months. We have known each other for over a year; we work tog...
A. 24 May 2008: You, you , you , you, you.....it's all about you. He is no better. You said you don't want to be judged. You HAVE to be judged. You can't make your question all flowery and holy so it's easier to get off the hook. You and he are doing something ... (read in full...)
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