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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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He keeps looking at younger women. Should I be worried here?
Q. I'm 52, slender, and youthful looking for my age. (So I'm told) My boyfriend is 12 years younger than me, but he looks the same age. He is wonderful in a lot of ways, but he is always looking at younger women. Once I noticed that he had an ...
A. 4 December 2007: On the surface, from what you said, it sounds like they're a little too friendly. It's hard to say though because I don't know you and it's possible you are too worried about nothing. We all tend to put our own spin on things. Why do they talk so ... (read in full...)
How do you lie next to your spouse at night yet feel completley alone??
Q. I was married to a man 7 years ago. We have two children together. We were complete equals as lovers, and never tired of each other. I have heard lots of people say passion dies out, but it never did. I still long for him today. I left him ...
A. 3 December 2007: Your children have a father, your ex husband. Your current husband needs a wife who loves and DESIRES him. It sounds like you picked him because he was convenient. I can tell you one thing for sure, if my wife felt that way about me, I'd rather ... (read in full...)
Does the absence of noise mean the absence of satisfaction??
Q. I'm really not asking this because of my sex life,which has tremendously improved. Some of the questions posted today had me thinking. Though i came up with answers i need to hear what other people think. As a man,if your lover doesn't scream during ...
A. 3 December 2007: Noise during sex does bot mean anything. Some people are more noisy than others.
The BIG problem is many people see things on TV or in movies, including porn and actually believe that is what is normal. Most women do not want sex with another ... (read in full...)
When I am naked he doesn't get an erection...is this normal?
Q. What does it mean when you can be entirely naked in the shower, with your boyfriend talking to you (sat on the toilet) and he doesn't get an erection... Any ideas? Does it mean he doesn't find you arousing? Does it mean he could be gay? Does it ...
A. 1 December 2007: Really, this is ridiculous. We're not seals in the circus. Men don't get an erection every time they see a nude woman. At your age you should know that. Gay???? Does your vagina become wet every time you see a nude man? Do you feel like having ... (read in full...)
Worried about the values I transmit to my daugther. Dating several men, having sex. Friends say it's normal after my divorce?
Q. i'm a 43 years old mother of 2, i just had a divorce after 19 years of marriage. it took me a while to get back to dating again and when i did the problem started. i have sex a lot and with more than just one guy. my friends told me that it'...
A. 30 November 2007: How do your daughters know you're having so much sex? If you have to ask this question I think you already know the answer. It sounds like you're trying to be a teenager. Why did you divorce?... (read in full...)
Guys, can you be normal friends with a girl you find attractive, even though a relationship would not be possible?
Q. Guys: Can you be normal friends with a girl you find hot and wish you could sleep with, but know nothing can happen? Would you hang around and continue being 'friends', even though you never saw eachother out and only got on really well when...
A. 30 November 2007: Guys do not usually choose females to be "just" friends. They most often do their hanging out with males. The thing is this, a female could have a guy friend and NEVER intend to sleep with him. A guy might never intend to sleep with the female ... (read in full...)
A neighbour changing in view of my wife and I!!!
Q. Hi Over the past few weeks our neighbour has been putting on a show in their bed room. What I mean by this is, she get undressed and gets changed without drawing the blinds. My wife and I can see all this from our lounge room if we have our blin...
A. 30 November 2007: Give me the address. I'll monitor the situation.......Just kidding, I wouldn't say anything. You're not really worried about visitors to your house either. I think you just feel like saying something to her. Sometimes we have this inclination to ... (read in full...)
Did I offend him?
Q. Lately I've been baking a lot and I take some of the cookies and stuff to church. I gave some of the cookies to this guy and later he came over while I was talking to my friend to say thanks. I wasn't really paying attention and I quickly brushe...
A. 30 November 2007: You were rude and probably embasrassed him by dismissing him so abruptly. Start fresh and see what happens. Are you interested in him?... (read in full...)
I have been very picky about relationships, but now that I met a special girl we don't "click" in the bedroom! What do I do?
Q. I haven't had a girlfriend in a few years, because Ive been very picky. I've finally met a girl who I think the world of. We get along better than anyone Ive ever met in my life. She's extremely attractive, and she feels the same way about me. ...
A. 30 November 2007: If it's already bothering you I'd say it's an issue. Deal with it now or you might resent it later. What is the area you don't click on? ... (read in full...)
My gf periodically posts degrading pictures of herself in the net, semi-naked. Do I over react?
Q. I have been seeing a girl for a year and a half. She is amazing, but here is my problem. She will periodically post degrading pictures of herself on her Facebook as her profile picture. The first one was of her knealing (or standing, I couldnt...
A. 30 November 2007: They are trashy pictures...period. They are meant to portray a certain image, that is not debatable. She might not actually be trashy but she's looking for the wrong kind of attention. ... (read in full...)
I found a pregnancy test and a female's picture in my husband's toolbox. I suspect an affair.
Q. i found a pregancy test in my husband toolbox and a pic. of a girl. he told me that the test and the pic. had been in thier a long time,the test was his exwife and the girl he don`t rem... how do i no he telling me the truth. rem.. he lied to me ...
A. 30 November 2007: Does the test have a date on it?... (read in full...)
A new way to verify your partner has not been cheating during your time apart?
Q. My 'lover' says that his friends wife always knew if he'd been faithful when away on business, as his testicles would be 'high' (indicating abstinence) - I've never heard of this, is it true ... ?...
A. 30 November 2007: I think his testicles might have been high because he was in fear. This way it would give his wife less to grab on to while she was twisting them........ (read in full...)
Should I tell my husband who I cheated with?
Q. I'm married and very regrettably cheated on my husband 5 years ago. After a few months I told him what I did but not who with. (it was with a guy friend but my husband didnt really know him but knew I was catching up with him now and then) My hus...
A. 29 November 2007: Does it not seem strange he brought up this guy in the middle of your "open and honest" discussion? He asked about the guy friend because this has been in the back of his head. He was trying to be the good husband when you were hanging out with ... (read in full...)
Was I being unreasonable?
Q. My fiance and I were living together and one night he asked if I could go to my parent's house that night (because I had to drop my car off) and he said he was going to hang out with one of his friends. He said he would pick me up the next day. I ...
A. 29 November 2007: It "seemed" like he was kicking you out of your parents house. How far away is your parents house, why did you have to drop of the car, was it more convenient that way. More information please. ... (read in full...)
Shall I pay my own way or not?
Q. I have started dating this guy and we have been dating for about a month and I havent ever really dated before. i was wondering if i should let him pay everytime we go out or should i offer to pay or how that works!?... ...
A. 29 November 2007: You wouldn't pay for everything when you went out with a friend...right? So you should pay for your boyfriend sometimes too. He does nto have the obligation to use his money to pay for your fun, food, transportation etc. After a while some people ... (read in full...)
I want to leave him but I haven't got the heart to upset him
Q. We have been togeather 28 years. He's been different the past 2 years. Says there is no other woman,But he stopped sex, every thing i say is wrong. If i try to talk to him he calls it an argument. Still wants to controll my every thought and ...
A. 29 November 2007: Is it possible he has some sort of mental issue bothering him? Some more information would be helpful. The two of you need to communicate what is happening hear with a third party. ... (read in full...)
Have I sacrificed too much, too soon?
Q. In August of this year I moved to the USA from Great Britain to marry the man I loved. We were wed only 5 weeks ago however I had serious doubts even before the wedding but felt I could not back out as my family had all paid for their trips over and ...
A. 29 November 2007: How did you meet this guy? Did you spend much time with him before you married. Moving to new country/culture is also stressful and can make people home sick. I've done that.
It's time to sit down and have a talk. Get a couples therapis... (read in full...)
He keeps looking at younger women. Should I be worried here?
Q. I'm 52, slender, and youthful looking for my age. (So I'm told) My boyfriend is 12 years younger than me, but he looks the same age. He is wonderful in a lot of ways, but he is always looking at younger women. Once I noticed that he had an ...
A. 29 November 2007: As I mentioned to you before, most men don't get erections by "looking, noticing " a pretty woman. Adjusting oneself is something we do from time to time. I think you're reading too much into this.... (read in full...)
I know what I deserve and it's not to be "the other woman" or someone's "play thing..."
Q. Trying to keep this short, I was in a relationship with "Frank" for a while before it went down hill and he cheated, we split. We were the best of friends prior to dating and did our best to stay friends through everything. Over the past year we ...
A. 28 November 2007: He liked you, you liked him, he had a partner, nobody cared, he went with you (she dislikes you, with good reason), he went back to her, now you're thinking about being with him again.
One thing that stands out in my mind is there are three pe... (read in full...)
How sexually charged are older women?
Q. Do women over 55 enjoy sex or is it something they do to keep their man happy. I want to continue dating a woman thats 57. I've had a few dates with her and sex has not been discussed, not yet anyway, I don't want to embaress her. I plan to talk ...
A. 28 November 2007: I still can't believe that some women are using such a broad brush to say men don't know how to sexually please a woman. If these women are not being pleased, they should make it known and show their partners what they need. I'd bet more often ... (read in full...)
How sexually charged are older women?
Q. Do women over 55 enjoy sex or is it something they do to keep their man happy. I want to continue dating a woman thats 57. I've had a few dates with her and sex has not been discussed, not yet anyway, I don't want to embaress her. I plan to talk ...
A. 27 November 2007: What a stupid comment by the anonymous aunt....most men are useless in bed. I don't think much thought went into that one. I think sex is always there but probably dwindles somewhat with age, like most hings. That is a generalization, some want ... (read in full...)
I'm falling in love with a newly married man.
Q. I'm falling in love with a newly married man. We've recently become good friends and I see him all the time. Now he's invited me over to his place and I really want something to happen but I'm sure it never will. What do I do?...
A. 27 November 2007: You are not friends. Admit that to yourself. Friends don't behave or think like this. Get out of the picture before your calculated actions hurt someone.... (read in full...)
Do you think I should ask him who this other woman is?
Q. Hi, So I'm a paranoid wreck at the moment. My boyfriend was working in England for the last 3 weeks. I missed him very much and I think he felt the same. He arrived back on Sunday and everything is fine. The thing is, this morning when I was getting ...
A. 27 November 2007: The answers from the other aunts is great. You can ask if you choose but you have to do it in the proper way.... (read in full...)
Several times in our marriage we have gone multiple years without being intimate. I need to feel loved, wanted... How do I leave without hurting my children in the process?
Q. The Marriage Bed I “Lie” In About a year and a half ago, we bought a new bed. I think it was our third in 18 years of marriage. Our first king sized. If you were to look down on us sleeping in it, you would see two people on the outer edges and ...
A. 26 November 2007: They say the grass is greenest where you water it. You had me until you mentioned your commitment to your vows. It sounds like that went out the window a long time ago. You also said you would never cheat again. My friend, you've never stopped. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't interested in sex. Has he seriously has lost interest in me? Could it possibly be he's THAT concerned about house issues?
Q. Okay, so I've read the other questions about men not being interested in sex, but I think mine is different. Here's the deal. I'm 29 and my boyfriend is 38. We have been together a little over 3 years and a year and a half ago we bought a "fixer ...
A. 26 November 2007: I would say there is something wrong. Do not cheat though as any problems you have now will only be worse. Cheating will fix nothing and complicate everything. If you love your guy that much, what will be going through your head when some other ... (read in full...)
I'm a married man but became utterly obsessed with a young co-worker. We've been friends for a while but I just can't stop thinking that I'm destined to be with her
Q. Hi, I am a married male with children, and I love my wife very much. I hired this girl (who has a boyfriend) who was almost 20 years younger than me for a 1 year term. She is extremely sociable, and has a good relationship with almost everyone she ...
A. 26 November 2007: Your reply is further indication that you need some help. do not ruin the rest of your life for an imaginary relationship. She is not on the same page as you. ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm losing her to her husband (whom she left)...
Q. I met this girl at work, she had just seperated with her husband and has a 2 year old child, and she lived with me for 3 + months in which time we grew very very close. Now she has been back at the husbands for about 3 months during which tim...
A. 25 November 2007: You two moved too quickly. She was in a bad situation and ripe for attention or validation. You were looking for mate. she should not have been. The sad part for you is that you have to take your lumps. Her priority should be to her husband. ... (read in full...)
I'm a married man but became utterly obsessed with a young co-worker. We've been friends for a while but I just can't stop thinking that I'm destined to be with her
Q. Hi, I am a married male with children, and I love my wife very much. I hired this girl (who has a boyfriend) who was almost 20 years younger than me for a 1 year term. She is extremely sociable, and has a good relationship with almost everyone she ...
A. 25 November 2007: I disagree with some of the others here. I DO think you need to get some professional help. I can tell from your letter that you are obsessed by this woman. You've written this letter as if it was a movie script. I do not think you're seeing ... (read in full...)
My husband treats me bad. Now I am in love with his best friend. I was told it was noticeable from both of us, our gestures etc.
Q. Me and my husband have been married for 11 years now and our marriage has always been rocky. I got pregnant and I felt we had to get married. I do love him, just not the way I should anymore. In the last year, his best friend has become my best ...
A. 25 November 2007: I'm sorry but this should have stopped long ago. Don't try and paint this rosy picture of prince charming riding in to the picture. Do you really think he's trying to convince your husband to change? Why would he want that if he's so in love with ... (read in full...)
We have been intimate but he claims that we are still just friends as he enjoys hanging out but does not want to commit - which may change. Maybe his ex wife caused him to put up this great wall?
Q. I am really confused and not sure what to do. I have been seeing this guy for a little over a month. When we first met, he said to take it slow, that he did not want to jump into anything. However, the first 2 weeks or so, we saw each other every ...
A. 25 November 2007: Well the sex is great. If he wants to continue having great sex, he has to be nice. He told you where he's at, as far as his needs. Don't try and make it more than that. Don't push him for a verbal definition of the relationship yet. Why are ... (read in full...)
I'm really confused about what I want to do...
Q. I've just broken up with a guy who I've been with for 7 years and I'm in two minds about whether I've done the right thing. Things have been going downhill over the past few months. I don't trust him as a few years ago he met someone and although...
A. 25 November 2007: What have you done to get some help over the rape? You shouldn't try to deal with that alone. Unless he is trying to have sex an unreasonable number=umber of times a week, the last paragraph of your question might suggest you have some things to ... (read in full...)
He keeps looking at younger women. Should I be worried here?
Q. I'm 52, slender, and youthful looking for my age. (So I'm told) My boyfriend is 12 years younger than me, but he looks the same age. He is wonderful in a lot of ways, but he is always looking at younger women. Once I noticed that he had an ...
A. 25 November 2007: Are you sure he had an erection? Most men don't stand around i public with a big bulge in their pants. You might have been wrong. As for looking at other women, that will never stop. That is natural and normal. Attraction is like candy for the ... (read in full...)
Is going out to dinner with her acceptable?
Q. my husband became sexually obsessed by a younger work colleague. they still work together - there is no chance of that changing and I am finding it hard to deal with. We seem to be on different planets when the subject is discussed. He says that he ...
A. 25 November 2007: First of all. did he admit to be sexually obsessed with her or is this a label you gave him? What were the circumstances that lead to him being labeled as such?
If it's true that he was obsessed with her, he should not be going out to lunch wi... (read in full...)
His sexy talk makes me feel cheap
Q. my boyfreind talks dirty to me whenever i give him a blow job and its making me feel cheap. i dont mind it sometimes in bed, it can be hot, but he does it nonstop when im giving him oral sex. he says stuff like do you love my big co*k, and suck me ...
A. 24 November 2007: He's enjoying what you're doing to him. It's part of the fantasy and it doesn't make you cheap either. If I was giving my wife that much pleasure I'd take it as a compliment. It's only bad if you believe what he's saying or, if he believes it. ... (read in full...)
She feeds my insecurities by showing signs that she still feels for him, how can I get this off my chest when she wont speak about it?
Q. I've been in a serious relationship for just about 2 years. I adore her and I know she loves me. OK. i'll get just down to it. Her ex!! He was her first and i know she was crazy about him and I know she still thinks he's the 'perfect' guy. i ...
A. 24 November 2007: If she told you that you'll never mean to her what he did, leave her. That is a rotten thing to say to someone. If you stay with her, it's you choice...but don't forget, she already told you where you stand.... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my trust issues and stop behaving so bad towards her??
Q. I have a problem with my relationship with my girlfriend, i love her and dont want to split up or hurt her, but i am being a pig. I dont trust her, when she goes out with her friends, i dont like it and when she comes back i sulk and dont talk to ...
A. 24 November 2007: This is very common and at least you realize the problem. You have to stop. You can not control another person for very long without the resentment toward you growing. You are basically accusing her of being a cheater and she's paying the price ... (read in full...)
I'm checking men out...and it is unsettleing me.
Q. Hi, Im a 32 year old guy and recently ive noticed something disturbing thats been happening to me. I'll be at the movies or something and I'll say to myself, George Clooney is a good looking bloke or whoever was in the movie at the time. And Im d...
A. 24 November 2007: Men do know when another man is handsome. They just don't choose to admit it to themselves or talk about it. I think in our older years, men are more secure with themselves and are less afraid to say this type of thing. Women do it all the time ... (read in full...)
She's got me hooked
Q. I met a new work colleague 14 months ago. I noticed her intelligence and quirky sense of humour straight away, although I wasn’t immediately attracted to her. During the passing months I have come to realise she’s such a beautiful person in every ...
A. 24 November 2007: All those things you noticed about her that attracted you, her husband noticed them first. Leave her alone. Have some integrity and respect for what society views as a marriage.
You don't have to hurt her to be strong, just stop flirting... (read in full...)
Confused......
Q. I am married with three children. I have a very demanding job and work long hours. My husband is away abroad for months at a time-sometimes up to six months. He claims it is business related but I feel ignored and used. I have to pay all the bills, ...
A. 24 November 2007: To be honest, this sounds like a made up story. Your husband "claims" to be working abroad. He either is or he isn't. That shouldn't be hard to figure out.
Who is the other man? How did you meet? Have you met in person?
Your eyes are... (read in full...)
My gf has a rather promiscuous past, she says those guys were a mistake but still holds on to those memories. Should I be worried?
Q. Hi, I (25) have been with my girlfriend now for 6 months and we are very very serious.. She (24) was a bit promiscuous in the past but has now devoted herself to me!! She still is friends with these guys and had some pictures of them on her computer ...
A. 22 November 2007: What is your definition of promiscuous? What did you accomplish by erasing the pictures?... (read in full...)
He's loaded but he always counts value for money. He does not like to eat out, is always looking for bargain, will not help a friend when they're in need of money. Do I leave him?
Q. I am 45 just divorced. My husband has got very ill temper. He used to take me to a meal or buy my gifts or holidays to apologize. It's not working anymore as I cant bear it anymore so I've divorced him. Then I met this man 18 years older than ...
A. 21 November 2007: How much of your money do you offer to spend?... (read in full...)
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