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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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Does he like me?
Q. This guy i think he likes me but im not sure please help! So today in class i was helping him with the work we had to do and he kept explaining to me how he didnt understand it and it seemed like he just wanted an excuse for talking to me. Then he ...
A. 1 April 2011: The best answer is maybe. There's not enough info in that little exchange to give any real analysis. ... (read in full...)
This LDR makes me feel terrible about myself, but I can't quit it. Why?
Q. Hi This is continuation of question "LDR boyfriend says its ok for him to have sex with call girls since its just "meaningless sex"" I begged my bf not to choose a call girl over me and my love, which he refused. I feel really disgusted...
A. 1 April 2011: Not every man will cheat, and he's just a scumbag who says such things to justify his lowlife behavior. He has no problem ruining a marriage or hurting you. It's for the best that you're done with him.... (read in full...)
Does he like me?
Q. This guy i think he likes me but im not sure please help! So today in class i was helping him with the work we had to do and he kept explaining to me how he didnt understand it and it seemed like he just wanted an excuse for talking to me. Then he ...
A. 31 March 2011: Then why does it matter?... (read in full...)
Why won't he send me my pictures back?
Q. My friend broke up with me thursday because he says that i dont trust him and he not answering my calls i asked him to send me my pictures that i sent to his phone of me and my kids he dont want to send my pictures he said that he would so i can ...
A. 30 March 2011: Honestly, probably not. If he still liked you, he'd still be with you. Sorry.... (read in full...)
My ex is trying to hang out with me again, but I have a new boyfriend.....should I be friends with him or is he trying to get me back?
Q. ok, so i was dating this wonderful guy for about 3 and a half months. i lost my virginity to him after we were only dating for a week. i knew that it was too soon and that people would think i was stupid for it. but i couldn't see myself regretting ...
A. 30 March 2011: He is trying to get you back, and you shouldn't go there. If you're happy with your current boyfriend, then cut the ex out of your life. He isn't interested in being just friends, if he was, he'd have no problem talking to you with your BF around.... (read in full...)
My older friend has put my self-esteem at rock bottom. How do I cope with this issue?
Q. Many thanks to couple of people who responded to my problem of boyfriend looking at other women. I was talking to a male friend who is 64 years old to see whether I am being silly or what. He turned around and said "well, you are very attract...
A. 30 March 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/friend-said-rather-insulting-comment-to-me-what.html Duplicate post a little down the page. ... (read in full...)
Torn between my best friend and my current boyfriend, how do I manage?
Q. I am really confused !! i don't know what should i do with my life !! 1st my boyfriend , 2nd my best friend. Help Me Please !! My boyfriend had changed his treatment with me , because like he say i don't show him that i love him ,he says when i s...
A. 30 March 2011: How does he show you he loves you? He sounds like a user and a manipulator to me. "You're not showing me you love me right. I'm not talking to you for 3 days so you can figure something out." Bullshit! What you need to figure out is th... (read in full...)
Why won't he send me my pictures back?
Q. My friend broke up with me thursday because he says that i dont trust him and he not answering my calls i asked him to send me my pictures that i sent to his phone of me and my kids he dont want to send my pictures he said that he would so i can ...
A. 30 March 2011: Two possibilities. 1) Out of spite. It's something he knows you want, so he's torturing you by witholding them because he's mad at you. 2) To keep you calling. He likes the control this gives him over you so he's using that to his advantage... (read in full...)
Does he like me?
Q. This guy i think he likes me but im not sure please help! So today in class i was helping him with the work we had to do and he kept explaining to me how he didnt understand it and it seemed like he just wanted an excuse for talking to me. Then he ...
A. 30 March 2011: Maybe. Do you like him?... (read in full...)
I never ask for anything from him and all I wanted was to see him!
Q. I really really really wanted to see my boyfriend today only for like an hour or 2 and I asked him threw a text if he was ok with me coming over? My real reasoning is cause I wanted sex but I figured I should be nice about it and ask him just if we ...
A. 30 March 2011: But by your own admission, seeing him WASN'T all you wanted. You wanted sex, and even though he did't know that, his turning you down felt like him turning you down for sex. That's why you're excessively upset about this.
Basically, you need to ... (read in full...)
I'm so confused and I feel so stuck. I need any advice I can get!
Q. I recently got out of an abusive relationship. As soon as it turned abusive I left for the safety of myself AND our 1yr old son. For about 6 months I have been seeing someone else. The guy is actually one of my best friends. I've known him for ye...
A. 30 March 2011: Sometimes life takes us down roads that we don't expect. This friend, is he the father of your unborn child? It's good that he wants a relationship with you, even though he doesn't know about the child yet.
You do have the option of terminat... (read in full...)
Why won't he send me my pictures back?
Q. My friend broke up with me thursday because he says that i dont trust him and he not answering my calls i asked him to send me my pictures that i sent to his phone of me and my kids he dont want to send my pictures he said that he would so i can ...
A. 30 March 2011: Did you originally send them from your phone?... (read in full...)
I've known him for 27 years and don't know if I'm on the right path...
Q. I have know my boyfriend for 27 years and been with him since 1999 (11 years) We now have an 8 year that he adores. He is also very supportive to my older teenagers. I have been having doubts about the relationship as I do not feel he is total...
A. 30 March 2011: He has no idea what he wants, but I'd be relatively certain he's not committed to your relationship. 11 years is a long time to not really progress. If he's not willing to talk openly about your relationship, then that's a huge sign that this ... (read in full...)
Why won't he send me my pictures back?
Q. My friend broke up with me thursday because he says that i dont trust him and he not answering my calls i asked him to send me my pictures that i sent to his phone of me and my kids he dont want to send my pictures he said that he would so i can ...
A. 30 March 2011: Yeah, like the mod said in the note, it's a digital copy. He probably thinks you're stupid for asking for this, that's probably part of the reason you're not together anymore.... (read in full...)
Friend said rather insulting comment to me, what should I do?
Q. First of all thanks to couple of people who replied to my problem yesterday. (boyfriend looking at other women) I was talking to a male friend about my problem with my boyfriend, and my male friend who is 64 years old turned around and said ...
A. 30 March 2011: Why does it matter to you what he says? That's the real question you need to ask yourself. He just sounds like an opinionated jerk. If it's not just you that he's that way with, then you shouldn't take it personally.
It is a bit insultin... (read in full...)
Is porn a step on the slippery slope to cheating?
Q. Is porn a step on the slippery slope to cheating? I found out that my bf of 7 months has some porn videos of women from the internet on his computer. He has done nothing to make me doubt my trust in him, but I'm a little worried that looking at ...
A. 30 March 2011: Great answer k_c100.
Just be careful it doesn't start negatively affecting your sex life OP. If that happens, then it's becoming a problem.... (read in full...)
This LDR makes me feel terrible about myself, but I can't quit it. Why?
Q. Hi This is continuation of question "LDR boyfriend says its ok for him to have sex with call girls since its just "meaningless sex"" I begged my bf not to choose a call girl over me and my love, which he refused. I feel really disgusted...
A. 30 March 2011: That definitely changes things, and I'm glad you made that distinction. It is rather important.
Sadly it doesn't change my outlook on humanity much...... (read in full...)
This LDR makes me feel terrible about myself, but I can't quit it. Why?
Q. Hi This is continuation of question "LDR boyfriend says its ok for him to have sex with call girls since its just "meaningless sex"" I begged my bf not to choose a call girl over me and my love, which he refused. I feel really disgusted...
A. 29 March 2011: WTF?!? Another person in a similar situation, but ok with the use of escorts? Really?
If it wouldn't be ok while you are together, it's not ok while you're apart. Plain and simple.
Man, I'm losing faith in humanity...... (read in full...)
I'm witholding sex from him to show him how angry I am about our sex life and him watching porn!
Q. Hello Well, I'm going to admit this on DC because I don't think I can say it out loud. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. He looks at porn pretty much every time I leave the house. I know because the history on his computer is alwa...
A. 29 March 2011: I'm with Battista on this one. Communication is the only way to get through this.
In my opinion, it's not so much the fact that he's using porn that's your problem, but rather that he's lying to you about it and it has started to negative... (read in full...)
I like to dress to show off my body, but my girlfriend insists I dress conservatively! Who is right?
Q. Im a gay 23 yr. old girl, my gf is insisting that i dress very conservatively as she's afraid i will attract other girls. but i like to dress to show off my body. who's right?...
A. 29 March 2011: It's never right to insist on a change in your partners life. Then again, if you're in a relationship, you should always consider how your partner feels about the decisions you make. So, in essence, you're both wrong.
What you need to do is at... (read in full...)
Guy friend is coming on to me and it is making me uncomfortable
Q. One of my best guy friends keeps telling me i look hot and I'm not very comfortable with it. I've known him since elementary school and he has never said anything like this before.....I'm not sure if he is just joking around or not because i got a ...
A. 29 March 2011: Tell him it bothers you and that you'd like him to stop.
It's possible he may have developed some feelings for you and that's what's causing this as well.
Be honest with him though. If he's such a good friend that shouldn't be hard.... (read in full...)
Anything wrong with our ages?
Q. Can a 17 year old who will be turning 18 in a month date an have sex with a 19 year old?...
A. 29 March 2011: Depends on the state. Maybe you should just wait the month to be safe.... (read in full...)
How do I get him to French Kiss me?
Q. my bf and i have been dating for a while and i so badly want him to French kiss me.....Sadly have never done it before so i don't wanna make the first move. how can i get him to either french kiss me or get the idea that i want him to?...
A. 29 March 2011: Either go for it or talk to him about it. He may have never done it either so is scared to try just like you. Part of being in a relationship is talking to your BF about these kinds of things. If you're not ready to talk to him about it, you're ... (read in full...)
This LDR makes me feel terrible about myself, but I can't quit it. Why?
Q. Hi This is continuation of question "LDR boyfriend says its ok for him to have sex with call girls since its just "meaningless sex"" I begged my bf not to choose a call girl over me and my love, which he refused. I feel really disgusted...
A. 29 March 2011: I don't know why you're doing what you are, but you've got to stop it. Having sex with a hooker is pathetic, not to mention dangerous. You shouldn't care what this guy thinks because he's a low life.
You can take control of your life if you let ... (read in full...)
I had sex with someone else while we were on a break and now he says I am 'dirty' to him, what can I do?
Q. My boyfriend who I love more that anything else told me we should take a break so he could deal with some issues. A week later I saw he was taking someone to prom and I knew he liked her. Out of jealousy and a need for security, I had sex with a ...
A. 28 March 2011: I'll start by saying I didn't read what the others posted.
Wow, you're not going to like this, but you are dirty. You used some poor guy friend to get back at your ex by using his feelings to your advantage. Instead of something special,... (read in full...)
A little humility goes a long way
Q. I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
A. 28 March 2011: For me, it's the feedback I've gotten from other aunts and uncles that keeps me going. Occasionally I'll see a follow up thanking us, or get a PM asking for more advice because they liked what I had told them. That also helps.
It is annoying... (read in full...)
A little humility goes a long way
Q. I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
A. 28 March 2011: LMAO! It's because people are selfish and lazy. Many also just come for validation so when they don't get what they want, they lash out or disappear.
I wrote a similar article that you may like: http://w... (read in full...)
The Curse of Over Thought
Q. The curse of over thought. I think many of us suffer from this curse. Some people may call it a blessing, but I tend to consider it a mixed bag. On one hand it can help lead people to some tremendous insights, on the other it can lead them do...
A. 24 March 2011: I like your alternate title mishmash! And thank you for the excellent post. I particularly liked your point about reinforcing your self-hatred and insecurity. It's very true and I'm guilty of that very often in my own life. Thanks again!... (read in full...)
Caught g/f cheating twice and now am having trouble keeping an erection
Q. Age: 43 Sex: Male Race: Black About three ,months ago i started a new relationship, everything was grate, we were having sex twice daily, for the first two months, we were attracted to each other so much that whenever we a alone, we could not sto...
A. 24 March 2011: I think your problem is mental. She cheated twice in 3 months?!? Why the hell are you still with her? I wouldn't put my penis anywhere near this woman. I bet it's afraid of picking up the disease she picked up in one of her trists. Dump this... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with 2 men, one of them is my ex
Q. i'm in a bad situation at the moment emotionally because i think i'm in love with 2 men, one is my ex. my ex broke up with me twice in the past and after the first time he pleaded for me to take him back and said he would change. he hadn't and ...
A. 24 March 2011: Most people don't change, it's too hard and they don't want to put in the effort. Sure, they can appear to change temporarilly, but it rarely lasts.
I vote that you give the new guy a chance. 99% of the time when you get back with an ex it ends ... (read in full...)
Wife has cheated, but won't tell me the guy's name!
Q. wife confesses one night stand while on trip with her girlfriends. she says she has told me all there is to tell but won't tell me guys name. whats up with that?...
A. 24 March 2011: It's really up to her if she wants to file charges for this or not, or take it up with the resort. You just need to support her decision and do your best to work on your relationship with her.... (read in full...)
I dumped my girlfriend...Do you think she'll come back to me?
Q. Ladies, i broke-up with my GF, yesterday, i feel soooo guilty, but it weas her repetitive mistakes, that i used to warn her about, she repeated these mistakes more then 20 time, "mistakes such as not telling me what problems she is facing, keepi...
A. 24 March 2011: If you wanted her back, you shouldn't have broken up with her. She shouldn't come back to you, and you shouldn't want her back. That's why you break up. Things weren't working. Let it go and move on, it will be the best move for you.... (read in full...)
It ended before it began, so why do I feel like I just got broken up with?
Q. Hello agony aunts! My mates introduced me to a great guy last year. All this time we've been in each other's lives without knowing it. Long story short: there was mutual attraction but he wanted to advance too quickly, so I didn't accept in fear ...
A. 24 March 2011: You actually broke up with him when you rejected his advances for a relationship. His avoidance of you is likely because he was more hurt by that than he let you know. Guys like to hide when we get hurt, especially from the one who hurt us. I th... (read in full...)
I'm worried that I'm staying with him out of guilt!
Q. I cheated on my husband last friday..... And now im lost...I need advice. Let me give you some history. I was married at 18 ,we have been married for five years and have two beautiful children, My husband up until this point had been the only man ...
A. 24 March 2011: You should see where things go with counselling. That's an important step. See where that goes first. It would be a shame to break up your family if you don't have to.
It's a very good thing you're going to therapy. It shows a commitme... (read in full...)
I've been sexting with a friend and he wants to stop now. Can we still be friends?
Q. I am married and had been chatting with a married friend via text, chat, phone sometimes- mostly sexual talk. We are both very attracted to each other, have a lot in common and definitely have chemistry. He would tell me how much he thinks abou...
A. 24 March 2011: Can you be friends? Sure, until one of your spouses find out. Then you'll have endless problems and huge losses of trust. Can men easily turn of their feelings? No, but most of us are pretty good at hiding that. Honestly, he made the ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend seems really knowledgeable about sex and I am worried she will laugh when she sees my penis!
Q. Dear Cupid, Ive recently met this girl and shes ready to have sex, shes let it be known that she wants to but im not sure, theirs multiple reasons but one of the larger reasons is because my penis is sort of thick but only 5.5" i don't know what ...
A. 24 March 2011: I think you'll be fine. That's very average for penis length, and any woman who laughs at you because of it is a horrible person. The truth is that penis size really doesn't matter to most women.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend's girlfirend that I like her?
Q. my friend has a girlfriend and i am starting to really like her. we spoke a little on facebook after i first met her but since i added her on msn the other day we have spoke everytime she has come on which is a few times a week. i thought that she...
A. 24 March 2011: Not until they break up. You're honestly not being a very good friend. If you pursue her, you and this guy will not be friends anymore. That's something to be aware of.... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with me because I want to try and change my already wonderful husband?
Q. My husband... Tim... He's awesome! One series character always comes to my mind when I'm thinking about him - Aidan from Sex and The City. He's perfect - not for every girl, but for Carrie. The same is about Tim. He's perfect: his personality, his ...
A. 24 March 2011: He cares, he most likely just shows it in different ways. When you asked him to do those things, did you tell him WHY they are important to you? Did you tell him that they only work when they are spontaneous? It's not wrong to want those littl... (read in full...)
She didnt respond when I proposed to her, how can I tell her that I love her?
Q. i met a girl in my school and i fell in love with her and i proposed her and she didn't gave response but i still love her but she doesn't. how can i tell her that i am in love with her...
A. 24 March 2011: You asked her out, and she rejected you. It's time to move on. Telling someone you love them before you're even together is a bad habit. You love the idea of them, but you don't know them well enough to truely love them.... (read in full...)
He was having sex with another girl while I was pregnant, I know he has done me wrong but he has my heart.....what should I do?
Q. Need help please!.... I have known this guy since 2006 we dated for almost 3yrs.. We broke up for good 10 months ago.... We started to go back out in 09 of October im now pregnant by him I will have the baby in 5 days .... im so in love with him I ...
A. 24 March 2011: Focus on yourself and your baby. He's an asshole, and probably better left in your past. Make sure he's listed as the father so that you can receive child support.
He skipped out on you at a time when you needed him the most. That shows hi... (read in full...)
Why do guys beep their horns at girls? It is really embarassing!
Q. Everytime I go out, with my mom, my friends, ANYONE, people would do that whole 'I beep the horn because you're attractive' thing. Before, when I was an insecure person, i would feel really flattered. Now, it's just really embarassing and my parents ...
A. 24 March 2011: Don't smile or wave, that just encourages it. Your best bet is to ignore it.
... (read in full...)
Wife has cheated, but won't tell me the guy's name!
Q. wife confesses one night stand while on trip with her girlfriends. she says she has told me all there is to tell but won't tell me guys name. whats up with that?...
A. 23 March 2011: Maybe she doesn't know, doesn't remember, or is afraid of what you might do if you find out.
What would knowing his name change? How would it help?... (read in full...)
If he doesn't find me physically attractive, who is he visualizing in his mind so that he can get aroused?
Q. I thin that the title to my question really say it all, the rest of this is background. While my husband has never come out and said it in a complete sentence, he does not find me physically attractive. He says that our sexual relationship, fo...
A. 23 March 2011: You choose not to believe it.
I find the girl I'm seeing very sexy, and she definitely doesn't fit the mold of what's considered hot by society, or even me in the past. I was actually surprised I was as attracted to her as I was, and no, I was no... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend is cheating on me and her sister is helping!
Q. my girlfriend always kissed me and everything but the last month she dont want me to hold her, she dont want me to kiss her, she is always with her sister (her sister is a player) when i'm visiting her and walk around with her as if i'm not at her ...
A. 23 March 2011: If she's starting to distance herself, something's definitely up. It's hard to say just what, but you need to tell her what you're feeling. Be honest, but don't accuse her of anything. Just tell her that you've noticed a change in her behavior ... (read in full...)
Crush found out I liked him and asked why I never told him?
Q. So my crush of 3 years finally found out i like him. Not by me though he found out by someone else. He asked me why i never told him. I told him my fears. But i really dont understand why he would ask me if we are going to continue being friends. ...
A. 23 March 2011: Be honest about your feelings. Things may be a little awkward, but chances are he brought it up because he may feel something for you too. The nice thing about good friends is they understand. ... (read in full...)
If he doesn't find me physically attractive, who is he visualizing in his mind so that he can get aroused?
Q. I thin that the title to my question really say it all, the rest of this is background. While my husband has never come out and said it in a complete sentence, he does not find me physically attractive. He says that our sexual relationship, fo...
A. 23 March 2011: I doubt he's thinking of anyone else. I've dated girls I was highly physically attracted to, and others that I wasn't, but I've never had a problem getting aroused for sex. While it's true that men are more visual than women (on average) visual ... (read in full...)
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