A
female
age
36-40,
*uilty36
writes:I cheated on my husband last friday..... And now im lost...I need advice. Let me give you some history. I was married at 18 ,we have been married for five years and have two beautiful children, My husband up until this point had been the only man i had ever had sex with. Two years ago my husband grew distant and i discovered he had been talking to a ex girlfriend for 8 months. Now she lives in a different state so i know they did not have a affair but i felt like it was a emotional affair. I have since spent the last two years trying to make the marriage work..But he kept pushing me away.I would always have to be the one who sucked it up and dealt with his anger or his verbal abuse.... A little over a week ago i told him i had enough and that we were going to seperate for a while. He didnt want to but i couldnt breathe and had too... There has been a guy who was hitting me up on FB (had seen him and chatted at a bar a few times) for last two weeks, as well i had told him i was married and had kids but he still wanted to chat... I went out on friday got drunk and somehow ended up at his place wasted and making a huge mistake. I have since told my husband and he has moved back in and is constantly apologizing for pushing me to this and wants to make it work. We are seeing a marriage counselor on saturaday to try and get some advice. But im worried that i love him,but im not in love with him. and that im staying with him out of guilt and because we have kids...HELP?
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female
reader, MamaBear +, writes (26 March 2011):
You have five years of your life invested in this man and your marriage. You also have been blessed with two children. These are valid reasons for wanting the marriage to be successful! You are very fortunate that you both care enough about each other and the marriage to work with a counselor on whatever is the problem. I do not think guilt has anything to do with it. I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill at this time. Sorry to hear you have "fallen out of love" with him. If you find you do not want to be with him, there are legal avenues to that you can take. But for now, please give the counseling 100% of your attention - if for no other reason than you have two children. Good luck.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (24 March 2011):
 You should see where things go with counselling. That's an important step. See where that goes first. It would be a shame to break up your family if you don't have to.
It's a very good thing you're going to therapy. It shows a commitment to the relationship that's very good. Best of luck, and do your best to be open and honest about what you're feeling. Getting it out in the open is the only way to deal with it.
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