A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am married and had been chatting with a married friend via text, chat, phone sometimes- mostly sexual talk. We are both very attracted to each other, have a lot in common and definitely have chemistry. He would tell me how much he thinks about me when we don't talk. We are both happily married, which I know sounds crazy, but we are. We just met and it was mutual, very weird. Anyway, we were chatting recently and he told me that he has been thinking a lot and thinks we should stop what we are doing because he doesn't see things ending well. He said that he likes me, thinks I am awesome and would still love to chat online but not talk sexually anymore. Do you think he said that because he didn't trust himself. I feel like he is distancing himself now from me, which I understand, but yet, I miss talking to him. Can we be friends? Are men so easy to just turn off feelings they have for someone and not be attracted to them anymore?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): @eyeswideopen. Hear hear!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 March 2011):
 Maybe he was just playing you and realized you were taking things too seriously. Decided to cut bait and run. what does it matter anyway? You need to knock this nonsense off and get focused on what really does matter.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 March 2011):
 You say that you're happily married? How would you feel about your husband sexting another woman and saying things to her that you and this guy friend have been doing? Would you want your husband having feeling for this other girl and wanting to do all he can to maintain a friendship with her?
Absolutely not! You'd insist on absolutely no contact whatsoever. He's your husband.
Likewise, if you have a happy marriage and want to keep it, stop all contact with this guy. He has the right idea and is rightfully distancing himself.
You are already cheating on your husband. It hasn't yet gone sexual, but it is cheating nonetheless. You should come to your senses as well and decide what you want to do in terms of your marriage, because if you're giving your romantic and sexual and romantic efforts and energy to another man, then you've doomed your marriage.
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A
female
reader, SunnyRTC  +, writes (24 March 2011):
 I think sexting leads to more, always.even if you mean it innocently they always hope for more so he is nipping it in the bud before it gets outta hand. Try sexting your own husband. I bet you would be surprised how aroused it gets you both. ;)
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (24 March 2011):
 Can you be friends?Sure, until one of your spouses find out. Then you'll have endless problems and huge losses of trust.Can men easily turn of their feelings?No, but most of us are pretty good at hiding that. Honestly, he made the right decision here. He's showing he is a good man by cutting off this flirtation with you. He saw where it was going and realized that he didn't want to sacrifice his marriage for you. I know you feel a connection, but you have to be careful not to let that lead you down the wrong path.
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