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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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I feel obligated to sleep with him
Q. I would really appreciate if somebody could answer me. So here's the story; It begins like every other lovestory: girl meets boy, girl likes boy and boy feels the same. We started dating like two months ago nad it has been really fun. He is really c...
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During a break from my boyfriend, he got another girl pregnant!
Q. iv been in a relationship for around 8 months and i love the guy im with to pieces. during the 8 months we've been on and off and during a period while we were off, my bf had a one night stand with some girl and he did make me aware of this. we are...
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It looks like my best friend and my crush are getting together, but he still says things that confuse me! Help!
Q. So im really confused i have a friend lets call liza and a guy i have a had a crush on since 3 years now lets call him bob. So liza added bob on facebook and shes a very good friend of mine. Me and bob use to always text until he gave liza his ...
A. 22 March 2011: Fine, then your option is to watch Bob hook up with Liza. Sometimes we need to quit making excuses for ourselves. Basically you have 3 options: 1) Tell him how you feel and hope for the best 2) Keep crushing on him as he dates other girl... (read in full...)
He won't be intimate with me, but he has no problem watching porn when I'm not around!
Q. Why would a man over many years, regularly avoid sex with his wife? We would have sex about 2 times a month at most. I would try to initiate about 3 times a week, but get the "i'm tired" excuse. We argued alot about sex, I felt like something was ...
A. 22 March 2011: It sounds like he's checked out. Sadly, no solution can be reached without the effort of both of you. Perhaps it's time to consider divorce. He might listen to you if you give him the option of counselling or signing divorce papers.... (read in full...)
Are lap dances now different from 11 years ago?
Q. hi i am trying to find out if anyone knows what is the difference between a lap dance now in 2011 and a lap dance back in 2000 has it changed do the do more now ...
A. 22 March 2011: $50?!? I know at the local place I can get a shot and a lap dance for $10... $20 if I want to go to the champaign room... lol... (read in full...)
I found pictures and sexual texts of his before he knew me, should I worry?
Q. pls help..im confused, i met a guy 3 months ago,and i really fell for him,.iprior to the relationship i asked if he was seeing some one else, he said no.he dint wanna talk about his past relationships coz he said he want our relationship to be based ...
A. 22 March 2011: What happened before your relationship really doesn't matter much. So, he had some online flirtations, maybe some sex talk. Big deal! He was single.
To me, it sounds like he's really into you, so you shouldn't worry about things he did before y... (read in full...)
Are lap dances now different from 11 years ago?
Q. hi i am trying to find out if anyone knows what is the difference between a lap dance now in 2011 and a lap dance back in 2000 has it changed do the do more now ...
A. 22 March 2011: In my experience it depends more on the club. There haven't been any drastic changes that I've seen, but I'm also not a regular at any strip clubs.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sometimes leaves the room with his phone, does this mean he is cheating?
Q. Hi all. Something is bugging me. Sometimes (not always, by any means) my bf takes his phone with him when he leaves the room and also leaves it face down, when we are sitting together, watching tv or whatever. I don’t want to mention it to him cos ...
A. 22 March 2011: I wouldn't suspect cheating based on that. I leave my phone face down a lot of the time too, even when I'm alone. I also almost always keep it with me in case I get a call or text. That way I don't have to chase it down.
A relation... (read in full...)
Fiance wants to have anal sex, I'm scared of losing him but I don't want to do that
Q. Hello, Please,I need your advice.My fiancee would like to try anal sex.I havent tried that with my past relationships.I wanted to try it because I am afraid he would find somebody else who is willing to do that.I love him and I dont wanna lose ...
A. 22 March 2011: If you can't do it, then he needs to respect that. Not everybody likes it, and in order to enjoy it you'll need to be VERY relaxed. I have a feeling that will be impossible for you.
I think you should know that him asking for this is not a si... (read in full...)
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Q. so I have a question for you guys on here, I'm sure there are other posts on here about the same subject on here. I have been happily married for 6 years now and wouldn't change a single thing except for one. my wife does not give me blow jobs any ...
A. 21 March 2011: Step one is always discussion. Make sure to tell her how much you love her and why you'd like to make that effort. Basically, the reasons it is important to you that she do it.
Best of luck. Do your best to not make her feel attacked... (read in full...)
I'm so afraid I cant love my boyfriend as much as he deserves because of my ex! How do I overcome this?
Q. Hi fellows, I've been in the tough days presently so i thought me should leave a note here for your precious advices. I'm happily engaged with an amazing man who's been with me for 1 year, kept working hard on our long distance relationship, ...
A. 21 March 2011: I think if you come to grips with the fact that you'll always love your ex and have a place in your heart for him, it will be easier for you to move on. When someone is a big part of our life, it's natural to keep loving them, even if things don't ... (read in full...)
My sister is with the man I have loved for 10 years!
Q. it all started when i was in 7 grade i had this big crush on this guy name adam. we would flirt all the time! oh how he gave me the butterflies! we had very little classes in school together and we never saw each other out of school! but it was ok ...
A. 21 March 2011: I tried to read this, but simply couldn't. PARAGRAPHS would have been a great help here. I can pretty much guarantee that nobody will answer this question because reading it is too much work. Not because of the length either...... (read in full...)
Could changing my style help boost my confidence?
Q. I feel like my ex's new girlfriend looks better than me. Even though my ex liked me for all of these reasons: 1. my style was different then most girls - uggs/northface/polos 2. My style was more girlie 3. I was confident 4. And i would...
A. 21 March 2011: You know what's going to help your confidence more than any make over? Realizing you don't need your ex in your life and that he made the worst mistake of his life in breaking up with you.
You shouldn't compare yourself to other people. All that... (read in full...)
My friend's gf likes me and I like her, and she is losing interest in my friend. Should I make a move?
Q. in september i started college and met 3 new friends and one of them is my new best friend and he has said that he would count me as his because we hang out a lot. one of the other friends was his best friend before and me and him don't have a lot ...
A. 21 March 2011: I think it's generally best to stay out of these types of things. Wait for her to be single and you will be less likely to appear as a GF thief.
If you do tell her you're interested, say you're only interested if she's single, but you're also not... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me return or exchange a foster child, but I would like to adopt
Q. I fostered a three year todler, with a view to adopt, against my boyfriend's will last year. We are now engaged to be married in next few months. he is still not for the idea of the boy being around. He is an active boy, and like any other child can ...
A. 21 March 2011: I agree, he should have left, but that doesn't mean what she did wasn't selfish. Kind hearted deeds can still be very selfish.
Was she wrong to adopt the child? Not my place to say. I do think it was a very compassionate thing to do, and I wi... (read in full...)
Lost the feeling for my ex, cheated on him, but still cry about him months after the breakup?
Q. well i first got with dominic when i was 15 couple months before my 16th birthday and we became inseperable from the first day we met, i practically lived at his, i loved him so much, if i stayed at home, my body used to ache for him ect... i sold ...
A. 21 March 2011: Guilt is a funny thing, sometimes you don't truely feel it until you're mature enough to understand why you should feel it in the first place.
The truth is you're not over Dom, and you are right that you need to cut the contact. If he's still te... (read in full...)
Why not pay attention to me and not look at porn?
Q. I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 25. We have been together for 2 and a half years and we live together. It's a bit of a long story really he is my brother's best mate and I have known him since I was a kid, but we just ended up getting together on his ...
A. 21 March 2011: Have you talked about this? I mean talked, not fought.
He needs to know how his lack of interest in sex with you is making you feel. How his turning to porn instead of a ready and willing lover makes you feel.
The fact that he knows yo... (read in full...)
He wants a DNA test ?? but he wont tell me about it?
Q. so i asked a question befor should i let the father of my unborn baby be part of his life .. and i took everyones advise i decided to let him know and decide to help. he hasnt helped yet but im only 6 months i still got 3 mnths left and he wnts to ...
A. 21 March 2011: What harm is there in letting him put his mind at ease about being a father? It sounds like this wasn't expected, and even though it hurts to think he doesn't trust you, it's not like you two are together either. Why not get a test to prove he's ... (read in full...)
My ex has started seeing somebody else and... it's making me crave Sex. What should I do?
Q. Hi, I just wondered if anyone could give me some advice. I know this question may not put me in a good light, but please hear me out. Basically, I'm really missing Sex at the moment. Now, I'm not the sort of person for whom Sex is all that matters...
A. 21 March 2011: Stick with what was working. The club wasn't working, but where you were at first was.
There's no secret to dealing with women. You just talk to them, make good eye contact, smile and ask open ended questions. Listen to what they say and keep... (read in full...)
Is "Bethy" a flirty name?
Q. I'm not sure what to think of this, but my name is Beth and this guy i know calls me " Bethy " . Do you think he likes me or do you think he's just being friendly ? It does seem like flirting but i dont know lol....
A. 21 March 2011: Seems a little flirty, especially if he's in the same age range as you. What do his other behaviors say?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me return or exchange a foster child, but I would like to adopt
Q. I fostered a three year todler, with a view to adopt, against my boyfriend's will last year. We are now engaged to be married in next few months. he is still not for the idea of the boy being around. He is an active boy, and like any other child can ...
A. 21 March 2011: I don't get all this hate being thrown toward her boyfriend. He was forced into a family before he was ready and he stated it was not something he wanted. It's not like he fathered this child and then isn't taking care of it. It was a very ... (read in full...)
Torn between two guys.......
Q. i have feelings for a close guy friend of mine. the thing is, i don't think he has any idea. it feels like he's always playing games with me, ignoring me one minute and then telling me his deepest secrets the next. whenever we hang out alone he's ...
A. 21 March 2011: He probably does like you. Guys don't typically befriend women if they aren't interested in taking things further (or at least the possibility of taking things further).
If you like him too, you might want to talk to him about it. Let him know... (read in full...)
It looks like my best friend and my crush are getting together, but he still says things that confuse me! Help!
Q. So im really confused i have a friend lets call liza and a guy i have a had a crush on since 3 years now lets call him bob. So liza added bob on facebook and shes a very good friend of mine. Me and bob use to always text until he gave liza his ...
A. 21 March 2011: Tell Bob you have feelings for him and would like to date him. If you just sit back you'll end up watching him fall for someone else without ever putting up a fight. At least put it out there so there's no doubt about where you stand.... (read in full...)
He doesn't know how to break off with his 19 year old g/f to be with me!
Q. First,let me start with my mistake. I started an affair before I decided for sure to leave my husband of 9 years. Husband is a good man, but we married at 19 and my feelings have changed. I love him, but no longer in love or desire him. We have a 6 ...
A. 21 March 2011: A man cheating on his girlfriend with a woman who's cheating on her husband... Like this doesn't have FAIL written all over it.... (read in full...)
What does "I care for you" mean to a man?
Q. What does "I care for you" in man language mean??? We've already said I love u. Is this another way of saying I love you? He doesn't say the "L" word a lot he says the word scares him. ...
A. 21 March 2011: It means he cares for you. It's not code, especially if you've already said you love each other. It may be more comfortable for him to say than "I love you" but to me, love = caring + attraction. At least at the basic level.... (read in full...)
LDR--we don't communicate as much now and its freaking me out
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship for 6 months now and for the past couple of weeks I feel like I've just been stressing out about every little thing he does (or doesnt do). We met on xbox - which is a gaming console for those of you who ...
A. 21 March 2011: Just be careful. LDR's aren't a real relationship in that you never see each other in person, or actually spend time together. We see so many problems here that revolve around how difficult it is to maintain an LDR due to communication, that ... (read in full...)
What have I done wrong?
Q. Hi, So i am a 16 year old girl in my last year of school, it is extreemly rare for me to fall for boys thease days and get hurt because i am to focused on my grades at the moment, only a 4 boys have upset me in the last 3 years including the one ...
A. 19 March 2011: You're welcome. :-)... (read in full...)
It has been a while since I've dated, any tips?
Q. I haven't dated in a while, and by a while I mean almost 2 years. I've had some opportunities in that time but I get too nervous or scared because the last guy made me feel like something was wrong with me. I think I want to put myself out there...
A. 18 March 2011: Talk to him. Invite him to a low expectation date (like lunch or coffee). Get to know him more. If you hit it off, ask him out on a real date if he doesn't do it himself.... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 18 March 2011: Be careful calling those biases "facts." I know plenty of women who love giving head, just as I know plenty of guys who hate giving it.
The point of this article was to point out that these biases are NOT facts, and should not be treated ... (read in full...)
Do people put too much weight on the institution of marriage, and too little value on the PERSON they marry?
Q. [Mod Note: You have already posted this as a question and received lots of responses. We dont publish duplicates http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-people-put-too-much-weight-on-the.html I recently have been around many friends and peers that are...
A. 18 March 2011: Glad you took our suggestions to heart, and I'm glad you submitted this article. Well done! I like your additions as well.
To the mod who posted that note, many of us suggested she post that question again as an article. There have been man... (read in full...)
How can I change his opinion of me?
Q. Hello, So I was curious about how to get a guys attention. I want this guy to view me in a different light, and I need help on how I should act. I'm not looking to change my personality, just tips to get him interested. So this guy, let's cal...
A. 18 March 2011: Why are you asking to get yourself hurt? He'll use you and dump you. Players are good at acting sweet, but it's all lies to get you into bed with them.
Ignore him. He's only interested in you as long as he thinks he's going to get what he wants... (read in full...)
I get attached to one girl... how do I stop this?
Q. I have the nice guy syndrome, but I think I'm slowly getting over it as I'm getting more and more attention from girls. I poke fun at the girls and then the girls generally reply with a flirtatious "you're so mean!" I tend to get more attention ...
A. 18 March 2011: Why pursue several if you and one girl hit it off? Do you want to ruin things with them? Do you think playing them will give you confidence?... (read in full...)
I'm wondering, why the sudden interest in me?
Q. so my day today was pretty much made by this guy lol last summer we met while partying, he was a "man whore" who owned up to it. I had no problem with him, I made it clear I wasn't interested in fooling around, and he backed off. He would message...
A. 18 March 2011: It could be genuine interest. If you pursue anything with him, make sure to take it slowly. Resist sex to be sure that's not all he's after. It couldn't hurt to go on a date if he asks you out though. It seems that you like him.... (read in full...)
I became a Debbie downer but I've changed -- can I get him back?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me 2 months ago. I'm 28 (he's 30) and our relationship was pretty serious. When things were great, we talked about getting married, settling down, and having kids. Things changed obviously and we found ourselves ...
A. 18 March 2011: He's got the right mindset. Getting back together will just end in failure again. You need to grieve this dead relationship and move on.
Things haven't changed. They may have changed temporarily, but they will go back to how they were. That's ... (read in full...)
Worried I might still be in love with my ex, but I have a boyfriend! Help!
Q. Please help! I think im still im love with my ex boyfriend. It seems like we go through this circle of being together for a good 18 months then break up for around the same amount of time. But its always me that finds a reason to break up again. We ...
A. 18 March 2011: Yeah, don't give up on something good for something that will fail again, and again, and again, and again...
Your ex is your past. Let him stay there. Part of you will always love him, but that doesn't mean you should be together. If you were... (read in full...)
What have I done wrong?
Q. Hi, So i am a 16 year old girl in my last year of school, it is extreemly rare for me to fall for boys thease days and get hurt because i am to focused on my grades at the moment, only a 4 boys have upset me in the last 3 years including the one ...
A. 18 March 2011: What did you do wrong? Nothing.
Was he messing around? Sounds like it.
Sorry that happened to you. He's a jerk to lead you on like that and ignore you now. At least you didn't get too invested in him. I would ignore him now too. Even i... (read in full...)
LDR--we don't communicate as much now and its freaking me out
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship for 6 months now and for the past couple of weeks I feel like I've just been stressing out about every little thing he does (or doesnt do). We met on xbox - which is a gaming console for those of you who ...
A. 18 March 2011: 1) No. In an LDR communication is the only thing you have. It's also the most important thing to any relationship.
2) Because he's not ready to get rid of her off the list. It also depends on the relationship. Did they date seriously, or was i... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 18 March 2011: Absolutely. Culture plays a huge role in the development of bias. It is impossible to avoid these learned roles as well. The key for me is recognizing that they exist and understanding them so that you can use them to your advantage when posting ... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 17 March 2011: Thanks for the response aAoa, but it is a little off topic. To bring it on topic, think about the answer to these questions: How does what you wrote apply to the advice you see on this forum? How does it influence what you tell people?... (read in full...)
He won't be intimate with me, but he has no problem watching porn when I'm not around!
Q. Why would a man over many years, regularly avoid sex with his wife? We would have sex about 2 times a month at most. I would try to initiate about 3 times a week, but get the "i'm tired" excuse. We argued alot about sex, I felt like something was ...
A. 17 March 2011: Counselling is really the only option you have left. You've tried talking and that's not working. You've tried initiating, and that's not working. He's not fulfilling your needs and it's causing a rift that will soon be irreparable. He sounds... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 3 March 2011: Thanks Cerberus. You make a good point about dominance versus equality. It's a shame that attitude gets reflected in a prevailing bias on this advice forum as well.
... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 23 February 2011: I say go with Italian, then again, I'm biased because I just LOVE Italian food. ;)... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 23 February 2011: I agree that it can be helpful, as can the experiences of people who have lived through a situation similar to what has been presented by the OP. We can't take that for granted.
To me, it all depends on the question. Some people need you to e... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 22 February 2011: For posterity sake, my previous reply was written before Jmtmj and Odds replies had shown up for me.
Thank you Odds for your post and attempting to bring us back on topic. It's my hope we can continue this discussion on topic without delving ... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 22 February 2011: I'll admit, I did take your post to be your views Chigirl. In my defense, the historical perspective you presented you did state was a bias you shared, and one you hypothesized many other women also share.
I did not say your advice was bad. I ... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 22 February 2011: Mishmash, thank you for the excellent post.
Chigirl, I think you partially grasped my point, but it not entirely. I'll detail what I mean.
My point in this article was to point out this: "I will admit, although not seeing it as a flaw, that ... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 21 February 2011: Battista, it definitely isn't just you!
Odds, I knew what you meant even before you posted your correction. ;-) You're absolutely correct, and I think part of why I didn't even consider the historical perspective is because I haven't experien... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 20 February 2011: angelDlite, that's a very good point you bring up about historical inequality. It's sometimes easy to forget in the current atmosphere of equality, or very near equality. You're absolutely correct though. That's something I hadn't really thought ... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 20 February 2011: Thanks for the posts so far.
Cindy, I'm well aware my methodology was far from perfect. Perhaps I should have put some quotes around the word experiment.
Was I trying to show specific inconsistencies in individuals advice? No, that's not w... (read in full...)
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