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*miliek

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Are there any men they do not use pornography in a relationship?

Q.   Are there any men here who don't use pornography in a relationship? I would absolutely love knowing they weren't looking at anyone else. I don't even know why they still do it and thinks it's normal to still look when they are getting sex. Men want ...

A.   13 April 2012: nope not at all. It was that or either leave as i may have felt that he'd rather that then me, or control him by forbidding him to look at anything ever. He told me many times he would stop if i told him to but He would also find it controlling. We ... (read in full...)

Are there any men they do not use pornography in a relationship?

Q.   Are there any men here who don't use pornography in a relationship? I would absolutely love knowing they weren't looking at anyone else. I don't even know why they still do it and thinks it's normal to still look when they are getting sex. Men want ...

A.   13 April 2012: my hubby doesnt. He used to. It bothered me a bit. Rather then break up, or one of us control the other, we reached a compromise. He'd only look at stuff if i wasn't at Home, and we'd do stuff that night even if he'd done stuff himself. That... (read in full...)

Ladies: shaved or natural 'downstairs' on a guy?

Q.   Ladies thoughts opinions needed: When you are about to have sex/or oral with a guy for the first time and see his thing, is hair down there a turn off? is shaved more a turn on? or trimmed? also what about hairy thighs? shaved? leave alone? I am...

A.   6 April 2012: ugh leave it natural. Unless you're super hairy in which case a trim is ok. Never go bald there it looks gross, like a kid. Same with girls Who get rid of it, looks like a little girl i dont get how its a turn on ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for an attached man to pay for lapdances?

Q.   Hi- I'm interested in guys' opinion on this one. Do ou think it's normal for a guy who has a gf to still go to strip clubs on the weekend with his guy friends and to pay for lap dances? I could understand the bachelor party thing and for single guys ...

A.   20 March 2012: If its something you would find unacceptable in your relationship, you need to talk to your partner about it. My hubby and i have agreed we wont be around strippers in any form. He's not comfortable with me seeing another guy naked so same goes for ... (read in full...)

B/f loves me but he's close to his best female friend and it makes me very uncomfortable

Q.   My fiance is in love with his best friend. They have known eachother since they were very young and have always been close. They used to 'play dirty', like most kids do I guess, when they were about 7. They grew up together and he tried to start a ...

A.   17 March 2012: sorry to say but If my hubby had a female friend who he had feelings for i would not have married him. You can love ppl, as friends, but once there is an attraction to someone else there is a much higher chance of disloyalty. I had a very good male ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is so overbearing I cant even pick up a newspaper with an attractive woman in it! Now she has started commenting on my friend's Facebook too, how do I deal with her?

Q.   Hi guys and gals, My gf is getting a little overbearing and insecure... She accuses me of constantly hurting her when i pick up a magazine or newspaper and theres an image of a beautiful woman in a suggestive or sexy pose. She snatches the maga...

A.   4 February 2012: hmmm. My hubby had an ex like this. She wouldn't even let him have female friends. She cheated on him (with her own sisters husband!) i'd leave her personally. She's trying to control you way too much... (read in full...)

My wife says I should be satisfied with sex once a week or less. I'm not happy. what can I do about this?

Q.   My wife only wants sex once a week or less this has made me so mad angry and upset most of the time I cant handle this lifestyle she has a low sex drive. I'm very sexed up every day I masturbate and need sex... Wife says she will never change onc...

A.   22 January 2012: hmmm i'm sure i'll cop something for this, but here goes.. To me, marriage has some unspoken but important expectations from both sides. In my marriage, i want to be my husbands main source of sexual pleasure. Not his hand and imaginat... (read in full...)

Dangers of Porn

Q.   I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...

A.   10 November 2011: cheating, hmmm well i find that a bit different to drug use. Unless its talked about, usually a relationship is assumed to be only two people. You cant exactly get into a relationship if you're sleeping with someone else (well you shouldn't) ... (read in full...)

Dangers of Porn

Q.   I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...

A.   10 November 2011: There's one thing with the porn debate that annoys me. If a guy uses porn, no matter how infrequently, if his partner is hurt or upset by it then he is expected to give it up. And when its mentioned that telling someone to never watch porn again is ... (read in full...)

Found porn on b/f's phone and kind of freaked out about it

Q.   My bf asked me to call the pizza place on his phone. Whe n I picked it up I saw he accidentally had left up his web browser from when he was walking to work. It had a internet page up of girls in underwear posing - aka porn type stuff. I don't ...

A.   10 November 2011: he may have been bored, i've had a number of guys tell me they look at pretty girls when they're bored. Beats me why. Its true we do feel threatened if we think our partner prefers looking at someone else etc etc, but if your sex life is good and ... (read in full...)

Dangers of Porn

Q.   I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...

A.   4 November 2011: angry that someone was murdered, yes. However i do not believe everyone who watches porn is into violent or degrading stuff. Perhaps the majority is, i wouldn't know. I know what my hubby watches as i've seen his history. Friends i can only take ... (read in full...)

Dangers of Porn

Q.   I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...

A.   4 November 2011: Why is it you cant simply dislike porn without bringing statistics into it? Everyone is entitled to their opinion, you dont like porn thats fine. Alot of people do, and that should be ok too.. You cant change everyone else's opinion just because you ... (read in full...)

I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?

Q.   I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...

A.   27 September 2011: I agree with the others who say leave your bf. You do deserve better. Might i just add though, not every single guy who watches porn is like that. My hubby watches sometimes (note i mean a few times a month if that) but he tells me every day that ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my fiancée I kissed a girl at my bachelor party?

Q.   Hi, one creepy loser here. I'm getting married at the end of August and had my bachelor party last weekend. To cut a long story short I got extremely drunk at the party and kissed another girl. It lasted less than a few seconds and nothing more...

A.   30 July 2011: i guess all those ppl who said 'it was just a kiss' wouldn't care if their partner cheated on them by kissing some else? If you plan on marrying this Girl, she deserves to make her own mind up about whether she wants to marry you. You still ch... (read in full...)

Why are so many women so selfish? Even the great ones we love dearly!

Q.   MY question is why do women expect us men to give them everything and anything they want that makes them happy, but they won't give us the simplest thing to make us happy; a blow job!? We go to all sorts of lengths, taking an interest in your...

A.   22 July 2011: I really dont know how to get her to want to since i've never not wanted to. All i can suggest is perhaps not go down on her, use fingers and have her use your hand on you at same time, perhaps see if she asks you to go down on her and you could ask ... (read in full...)

Why are so many women so selfish? Even the great ones we love dearly!

Q.   MY question is why do women expect us men to give them everything and anything they want that makes them happy, but they won't give us the simplest thing to make us happy; a blow job!? We go to all sorts of lengths, taking an interest in your...

A.   20 July 2011: haha really? Wow. I give my hubby blowjobs every few days, and he doesnt go down on me (mind you i dont enjoy that so i'm fine with that) I enjoy giving him blowjobs and he loves them. Perhaps you've just been unlucky with the women you've been ... (read in full...)

Is cybersex cheating?

Q.   I have a cybersex habit. I had it before I met my wife and I still have it. I have a very high sex drive and my wife just doesn't keep up with me by any stretch. To me it is just a step beyond jerking myself off. In fact, that's what it is. Some...

A.   20 July 2011: porn is not interactive. You are simply watching a film and getting off to it. You may or may not imagine its you in that act but you aren't having to actively think about it. Cyber sex you are thinking about someone else, talking to them and... (read in full...)

My boyfriend said porn stars are hotter than me!

Q.   My boyfriend and porn. Ever since my boyfriend got a new job we've had less time for sex. Whenever we see each other we have a lot of sex. I'm not a prude, so with me anything goes (except threesomes). I let him do whatever he wants. I sometimes ...

A.   14 July 2011: i laugh at the male anon who said of course men find porn stars better then real women. Speak for yourself buddy. Not every guy is lying when he says he doesnt find them hot. Now op, your bf is a bit of an arse really. You sound like you do alot... (read in full...)

I don't like the engagement ring he gave me

Q.   My fiance recently surprised me with an engagement ring. He knew I preferred white gold, but got me a yellow gold one. I do love my ring, but it matches nothing I wear and with me being OCD I'm now having to get all new jewellery and accessories to ...

A.   29 May 2011: You know white gold is just normal gold with a coating? Any yellow gold can be turned to white gold. My hubby and i both like white gold and when we were picking out rings he really loved the style of a ring that was yellow gold. So they sent it ... (read in full...)

Is Pornography cheating?

Q.   The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...

A.   19 May 2011: I'm not saying that actively checking someone out isn't disrespectful, no matter what the context. My hubby doesn't do what you described, in fact i dont know many guys who do. One of my older male workmates who is divorced and very very bitter perh... (read in full...)

Is Pornography cheating?

Q.   The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...

A.   19 May 2011: Hey HappyPlace, i meant no offence with my comment. Simply that the way you put that if your bf checked out another woman he should be single. Surely you don't think he'd wanna leave you if he saw someone else attractive? He sounds more like he'... (read in full...)

Is Pornography cheating?

Q.   The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...

A.   18 May 2011: well HappyPlace, i'm not offended. Slightly amused perhaps. While i agree women in porn have made a bad decision, i also think the same about the MEN in porn. Let us not forget them. And i'm amused that because i've sometimes watched porn you label ... (read in full...)

Is Pornography cheating?

Q.   The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...

A.   17 May 2011: @ Jmtmj: haha no worries. Although better different opinions out here then on someones question who actually needs help. @ Happy Place: Erm i have watched porn and sometimes still do. Does that make me a woman hater? My hubby is one of the most ... (read in full...)

Is Pornography cheating?

Q.   The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...

A.   17 May 2011: I do agree with you there Person... I dont think porn watching itself makes you a 'bad person' but if you are putting its use above your partners feelings then that is a problem. In a relationship there's two people to consider, and while i dont ... (read in full...)

A quick (honest) survey: How often do you and your partner have sex?

Q.   This is something I am interested in as this often comes up on Dear Cupid, how often are couples actually having sex? I know personally I feel that my boyfriend and I are not having enough sex, I am 24 and he is nearly 28 yet we have sex once or...

A.   16 May 2011: My hubby and i are both 24, i'm currently 21wks pregnant and we still have sex (this includes things like just oral to me) at least 4-5 times a wk. If you mean just sex, then its still 3-4. Sometimes higher. Before i fell pregnant it may have been ... (read in full...)

Is Pornography cheating?

Q.   The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...

A.   16 May 2011: I do know what Cerebus means with some ppl posting to a question about porn with their opinions getting shoved down the ops throat. (I don't mean you person) I remember posting a question under an old account simply asking why guys use porn so... (read in full...)

I need to find a way to break up with him!

Q.   I keep giving my boyfriend chances and he is clearly not changing .I need to find a way to break up with him ,but the thing is he is a controling person ,and I gave him to much power .He is expecting me to stay with him .To be honnest I read an ...

A.   6 May 2011: You haven't given a great deal of detail, but if he is controlling what you Do, who you see or talk to, what you wear etc then yes that could be emotional abuse. I've been in a similar relationship. If you live together the best thing to do is to ... (read in full...)

Is Pornography cheating?

Q.   The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...

A.   5 May 2011: i'm not saying porn isn't cheating, to some ppl. Not all though. And fantasies can lead to someone physically cheating which in my opinion is far worse then watching a video. Neither are good for some people at all while others can easily keep porn ... (read in full...)

Our relationship is suffering. How do I compromise with my mom?

Q.   Hey. I'm a little worried about my relationship with my mom. (mother to daughter). We used to be really close, and i would be able to tell her everything. I can't do that since I hit the teens and there are horrible fights every single day. Over ...

A.   3 May 2011: When i was a teen my mum and i had huge fights but now we're stronger then ever. Your mum isn't jealous of you, she's worried about you. As a teen its so easy to fall into the wrong crowd and be hurt or hurt yourself by becoming addicted to ... (read in full...)

Is Pornography cheating?

Q.   The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...

A.   3 May 2011: This has all made for some interesting reading, but i'd like to add something else. I would much much rather my hubby look at a porn clip of women he doesnt know than have a 'harmless' fantasy about my friends or his or someone we know. I've be... (read in full...)

Am I wrong? Or can it be as black and white as this?

Q.   I've been thinking about this for a while and I think I finally have my answer. Tell me if you think I'm wrong. (or right? LOL) If a man knows that his porn viewing is hurting his girl, and he continues to do it, doesn't that mean he doesn't ...

A.   2 May 2011: The difference with cheating and watching porn though person is not many people when they go into a relationship will ask that the other person not cheat on them. I'm sure there are some ppl who would in fact think cheating is normal. And if they ... (read in full...)

Am I wrong? Or can it be as black and white as this?

Q.   I've been thinking about this for a while and I think I finally have my answer. Tell me if you think I'm wrong. (or right? LOL) If a man knows that his porn viewing is hurting his girl, and he continues to do it, doesn't that mean he doesn't ...

A.   2 May 2011: it could also be put that a woman who demands her bf to give up porn doesnt true love him. After all if she did, she wouldn't want to change him. You fall in love with someone for exactly who they are. Whats to say you'll love that person if they ... (read in full...)

I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce

Q.   Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...

A.   28 April 2011: ah sorry your latest followup was not there when i posted. Cheating is entirely another story. I wouldn't accept that either. I wish you luck... (read in full...)

I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce

Q.   Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...

A.   27 April 2011: I agree with dirtball, a marriage needs compromise. Op, i guess to you any porn use at all is unacceptable? So what will you offer your hubby if he agrees and actually does stop looking at it completely? My hubby and i went through the porn issue ... (read in full...)

What are the advantages and disadvantages of living together?

Q.   Dear Aunts, Just wondering what you can say about couples living together in one house without being married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such situations. Is this a bad thing or a good thing to do? Thanks!...

A.   16 April 2011: well my hubby and i are slightly different. We were housemates and friends before we started dating. When we had to move, it made much more sense to move together. Which we did. A few years later we got engaged then married and now have our first ... (read in full...)

Are men aware of what porn does to their sex drive?

Q.   With all this so easy to reach pornstuff these days and especially men of all age groups spending lots of time on pornsites, I wonder what happens to their sex drive and joy of having sex with there partners. It makes me sad to read from so many ...

A.   12 April 2011: it doesnt happen to all men. My hubby wants me the same day he's done something himself (which isn't very often anyway) perhaps it'll affect him more as we get older in which case i'll ask that he not use it if i miss out. Or that he at least do ... (read in full...)

Do women give oral sex out of the blue, or is there an ulterior motive behind it?

Q.   A few friends of mine were talking one night over beers and one said his girlfriend gave him a blow job 'out of the blue' when he got home from work one night - for apparently no reason. We all called BS, but he was adamant that he didn't do a thing ...

A.   8 April 2011: well i give my hubby bjs all the time just cause i like to and he loves them. No motive behind it. I think girls who use sex as a tool are very shallow and immature. In a loving relationship i've never come across it... (read in full...)

Why is Hardcore Porn so popular and why do people defend it so fiercely?

Q.   Why do men get off on watching women being so obviously humiliated and abused in hardcore porn? For whatever reason the women are made to look as if they are being violated and taken violently for pleasure purposes of those watching.... I just re...

A.   7 April 2011: reading some of this, it seems to paint men who watch porn as some horrid being who will treat any woman like a sex slave and want to humilate her. Well, i don't think that. My hubby sometimes watches porn. Before we were married i found this out ... (read in full...)

My fiancee is having a second boob job - I don't know how to feel about this?

Q.   In 2008 my fiancee had a boob job, which wasn't my idea but she paid for it herself. She is quite tall and has a great body so although she went up to a DD she did carry it off well. She attracted a lot of attention, and has done glamour modellin...

A.   6 April 2011: most guys wouldn't wanna marry a porn star. Seriously. This girl wants to share herself with hundreds if not thousands of other men. Thats not marriage material. She's prob already sleeping with that director dude i'm sorry to say op. Unless you ... (read in full...)

Why is Hardcore Porn so popular and why do people defend it so fiercely?

Q.   Why do men get off on watching women being so obviously humiliated and abused in hardcore porn? For whatever reason the women are made to look as if they are being violated and taken violently for pleasure purposes of those watching.... I just re...

A.   6 April 2011: i mustn't see what this hardcore stuff is. I've seen some porn sites that listed hardcore and it was just sex. The bondage or whatever was under some other title. When i see someone's written hardcore i actually think they just mean sex not beating ... (read in full...)

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