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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Sex has dried up now that I am pregnant!
Q. I'm 23 and my man is 22. Im 5 months pregnant. We use to have sex regularly now its every four or five days. And when we do have sex most of the time its because I asked. Its Far and in between that he initiates it. From what i hear most guys his ...
A. 28 October 2010: Are things better?
I hope that you open up and talk to your fella about your problem. Tell him you want some more sex!! And maybe he'll open up to you if there is something that is bothering him... ... (read in full...)
Sex has dried up now that I am pregnant!
Q. I'm 23 and my man is 22. Im 5 months pregnant. We use to have sex regularly now its every four or five days. And when we do have sex most of the time its because I asked. Its Far and in between that he initiates it. From what i hear most guys his ...
A. 25 October 2010: Is this your first child?
It sounds like he's nervous about your new body and the fact that you've got a baby growing inside of you! That can be pretty unnerving, and might be throwing off his sex drive a little. Maybe he's nervous about hurting ... (read in full...)
Why would he act this way after an accident like that?
Q. Every October our whole family gets together for a week long vacation with my parents anniversary, my brothers and sister and all their families attend. This year my 21 yr old niece Lyndsay brought her new boyfriend, Jace (he is 24). He seemed like ...
A. 22 October 2010: He was probably completely embarrassed, and then embarrassed that he was upset and needed comforting. If he is horribly shy and something bad happened while he was in a high pressure situation (meeting the whole family for a shy person is the ... (read in full...)
Sweden verses UK
Q. My boyfriend is Swedish and I'm English. He thinks England is backward and old. He liked some parts of it but generally I got the feeling that he was disappointed. It annoys me because he keeps yapping on and on about Sweden and how amazing e...
A. 22 October 2010: Ugh, I'm from the East coast and my fella is from the West coast. He refers to them as the "Least coast" and the "Best coast". It drives me bananas!! But, his hometown pride stops there. Your boyfriend is taking it way too far! He's just being a ... (read in full...)
At 30, how do I address my virginity problem?
Q. I am a male virgin who turns 30 this summer. This bothers me a lot, only because it makes me feel “nervous” around my friends.I don`t have any past experiences i can narrate to anybody. I didn`t think much about it when I was younger as I was an ...
A. 22 October 2010: Hi, sweet. I wouldn't be too nervous around your guy friends. I really think that most guys in their 30's will have calmed down the wild sex talk. That seems so frat guy to me. Really juvenile. Despite the odds, most guys do eventually grow up (kind ... (read in full...)
What's the point of a woman being confident if there's always going to be another woman that's better-looking than you?
Q. hey iv just had this question in my head a few days and i just wondered what mabye you guys thought ? whats the point in woman being confident if theres always going to be another girl thats always better looking then you ? theres perfect girls ev...
A. 22 October 2010: Because it's not about the guys drooling all over you. Is that what confidence is about? Just a show for someone else? No, self confidence is about YOU feeling amazing about YOURSELF and that is worth the effort. Sure there will be other people who ... (read in full...)
I want a first kiss without being controlling!
Q. How can I make a move to have a first kiss with my boyfriend without coming off as the controller in our relationship? We haven't kissed yet, and I know he wants to, but he's scared to try. Any advice?...
A. 21 October 2010: Hey sweet,
I would not recommend biting his lip just yet. If this is your first kiss, and his first kiss, start off simple. You might accidentally bite too hard or something... eventually you'll learn little tricks, but starting off with biting w... (read in full...)
Can't have sex, can't talk about it! It's driving this teenage boy crazy!
Q. Okay, so heres the deal. My girlfriend and i have been together for nearly five months. When we first starting going out, we talked about sex and stuff like that. She usually brought it up, saying how horrible it was that people our age were ...
A. 20 October 2010: Oooh, I was this girl in high school. I didn't want to go further than second base, and I didn't. I had lots of boyfriends who I probably sexually frustrated the bejesus out of, but I didn't even think twice about it. Sex was just not an option for ... (read in full...)
Should I see him when I'm worried about what he's like?
Q. Hi i was always talking to a guy i met online and he was really nice and handsome and i really liked him until i found out he was with someone it really hurt and another thing is this other guy who talks to me alot puting xxx at the end of his ...
A. 20 October 2010: Never give time to someone who you don't feel comfortable with. Especially online, you really don't know who could be behind their computer. So, if you feel weird about the other guy, consider it your gut waving a big red flag and steer clear of ... (read in full...)
Should I continue things with my sort-of bisexual boyfriend?
Q. I just recently became involved with my one of my best friends...who also happens to be bisexual (which he discovered 6 months ago). The last two months have been tumultuous because we would hookup and then I would find out he was also texting other ...
A. 20 October 2010: Oh Lord, your problem is you're in theater. Me too, sister, and I know all to well the kind of drama that dating ensues.
Look, dating a bisexual guy shouldn't be a problem. His sexuality, at least should not be the problem. Any person of any sexu... (read in full...)
I want him to talk to me but he's shy!
Q. Me and my crush are very good friends but the only time we talk to each other are after school. I don't have any classes with him but I see him everyday because our lockers are only about 5 lockers away from each other. I always see him staring at ...
A. 20 October 2010: If you can just get a "hi" out of your mouth, or smile at him, it will open him up to talk. If you make yourself approachable, it will be a lot easier for him to talk to you. Guys in middle/high school are so painfully shy and terrible at talking to ... (read in full...)
Ideas for a special date?
Q. Hey. I know this is kinda dumb but... I need some ideas on where to take or what to do for a date with my girlfriend. We just officially got together and even though we've been out on dates before, I want to do something different, like special with ...
A. 20 October 2010: Take her to a play!! It's better than a movie, a totally awesome experience, and you feel classy afterward. It will be something she never forgets.
Or, take her to the aquarium and then out for sushi. I love a good irony date. Good luck!... (read in full...)
Text interpretation?
Q. I have a text question. So I met this guy last week and we fooled around. That was on a Saturday night. So I get this text Thursday night that says "Still wanna hang out. We need to mess around soon". My response was "OK sure." So then Friday ...
A. 17 October 2010: I think the problem is, you're just not being very inviting! Why would a guy want to intrude on a night with your sister? When you tell him these things, it really seems like you should be saying, "I'm going out for a drink with my sister, wanna get ... (read in full...)
Therapy in books?
Q. Hi, I am 13 years old. This isnt much of a relationship question, but I desperatly need some answers. Ok, so I have been really depressed and I feel unloved and unwanted and unneeded. So I want to read a really good book. I want to read a fiction ...
A. 16 October 2010: You want a bummer book? Hmmm, do you like classics? Most classic books are about love, heartbreak and depression. Like Little Women, Wuthering Heights, Frankenstein, Dracula (excellent classic books. Forget about the movies. They are whack!)...
... (read in full...)
Text interpretation?
Q. I have a text question. So I met this guy last week and we fooled around. That was on a Saturday night. So I get this text Thursday night that says "Still wanna hang out. We need to mess around soon". My response was "OK sure." So then Friday ...
A. 16 October 2010: If I was a guy, I would have read your text as calling off an evening. You should have made your text a little more inviting like, "pretty drunk, will be going home soon, feel like coming over for a housecall?" Okay, that's actually pretty ... (read in full...)
How to achieve bigger hips?
Q. Okay I dont know if its posible but I dont have any hips and i want some.(; How can I make that happen if it possible?...
A. 16 October 2010: The only way you can make that possible is to wait. Your hips will fill out. My hips didn't fill out until I was about 20-21, then all the sudden I had a little more shape to them.
The alternative is to gain a bunch of weight. But that won't gi... (read in full...)
Was losing your virginity as you expected it to be?
Q. Was losing your Virginity as you expected it to be and would you change your mind if you could go back?...
A. 16 October 2010: I lost it at 19 to the guy I married 4 years later. It did NOT go as expected. It took a month for him to fit in and for us to get it right! But, it's still a fond (if not painful) memory. Lots of smiles, laughs... I wouldn't go back and change my ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to have sex with him, but I'm afraid he'll break up with me if I don't!
Q. well i'm 15 and my boyfriend wants to have sex his 16 and i kinda want to wait a year or two i love him alot and i dont want him to brake up with me if i tell him no. how do i tell him i want to wait without him braking up with me?...
A. 15 October 2010: If he is the kind of guy who would break up with you because you don't feel ready for sex, he is not the kind of guy you want to be with. So, get comfortable and just tell him that you're not ready for sex and won't be for awhile. Hopefully, he will ... (read in full...)
I get so upset when he leaves on business!
Q. Hi everyone, My boyfriend of 18 months has gone abroad for three weeks on a business trip. I get very upset when he leaves usually and he is aware of this. This time in order to stop me getting upset we have been talking everyday. I call him becau...
A. 14 October 2010: Okay, so you get super upset when he's gone. So he tries to fix it, and now you're still not happy! I'm not calling you a whiner, in fact I know exactly what you're referring to. You have a little bit of the "grass is greener" complex.
My fe... (read in full...)
Why do teenage boys go for the popular girls???
Q. Why do teenage guys always go for the popular girls??? Does no one realize how bad it makes every other girls feel cause they always come in second place to the girls who make us feel unattractive. Why does this happen??? ...
A. 14 October 2010: "Popular" is an interesting term. Maybe by "popular", you mean the girls who are confident, outgoing and have a lot of friends. This is working for them because they feel good about themselves, aren't shy about talking to people and have a lot of ... (read in full...)
I hardly see my boyfriend with his new job!
Q. My bf has a new job and I barely see him now. I don't know what to do because I am struggling with this limited contact. Please advise me!...
A. 14 October 2010: There's not much you can do about it if his job takes up his time. He's probably stressed out about it too. Be supportive and get some activities to fill the time. Good luck!!... (read in full...)
Lonely... my boyfriend of two years just moved out, out of the blue!
Q. I am so confused.. my boyfriend of the last 2 years just moved out, out of the blue. We have lived together almost the entire time. We have had some money issues and he is not used to not having extra money to spend. He says he still wants to be ...
A. 14 October 2010: Well, the best I can tell you is to not call and give him the space that he needs. If he's actually breaking up from you, he will disconnect. If he honestly just needs some breathing room and space to think about your relationship, he'll be back. ... (read in full...)
If you're questioning if he's the one, then he's probably not, right?
Q. When do you know he's the right one? Or do you? I guess if you're questioning it, he probably is NOT the one?...
A. 8 October 2010: It's important to doubt something. Otherwise, you buy into it blindly. I think that you've got to ask yourself "is he really the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with?", and spend a lot of time with that question. Listen to your heart. Rather ... (read in full...)
I get close to them and then the spark is gone?
Q. Help i need advice asap please :/ Hi well my problem is me i and the way i treat my guy friends.I am 18 and have yet to have my first boyfriend,but i have a bunch of guy friends and well it has been causing some drama in our tight group.My main pro...
A. 8 October 2010: I agree whole-heartedly with Dirtball. It will be such a relief to you and your group of guys if you start dating guys beyond them. That way you keep your friends and relationships separate and don't end up hurting a lot of people and friendships. ... (read in full...)
He "does not know what he wants", I want him back!
Q. Hi! 6 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me. I accepted it and he kept on calling me every two weeks for 3 months... when i asked him whats going on he assured me again that "it was over" and a few days later he called me again saying he was so...
A. 8 October 2010: Don't be tagging along after a guy who doesn't really want to be with you. He broke up with you and keeps changing his mind whenever it is convenient. You need someone who is completely committed to your relationship and is excited about being with ... (read in full...)
How should I reply my ex-girlfriend after her break-up ?
Q. My ex knows the worse thing she can do to me is to break up but she did it all the time. She decided, after one year relationship, to work in a different city. She broke up with me one month ago, then she changed mobile and didn't want to talk to me ...
A. 8 October 2010: Lexie88 said it all. She is just seeking attention. She has you coming back to her whenever she needs some, and she feeds of the drama of your on-and-off relationship. She contacts you when it's convenient for her and when she needs someone to ... (read in full...)
The sex is great but I can't stand him!
Q. ive been with my b/f for 5yr. the sex is great,but the rest of the time where together i can not stand him he bothers me,what should i do...
A. 8 October 2010: The sex can not be great enough to keep you staying in a miserable relationship. It's not fair to him or to you. Both of you are letting your genitals run your life and keep you in relationships that don't make you happy. Free yourself! There is ... (read in full...)
How can my wife be so loose when she never had children, and supposedly not much sex?
Q. I have a very personal question, sometimes I am very confused about it. When I got married to my wife, according to her she have not had any man in her life in last seven years. Before that she had only one short relationship(three months). It was s...
A. 8 October 2010: Every woman's body is different. Some are naturally looser than others, and a penis will not make any difference in the size of her vagina. She could have plenty of sex or no sex at all and remain the same size. Vaginas do not get tighter with less ... (read in full...)
Family and depression are making me worried about moving in with my boyfriend
Q. Dear Cupid, Help me! I've been writing posts here and you've been helpful, so I'm asking again for help again. So, I'm 21 years old and I need a few answers and advices... I'm going through some hard time for over 5 months, I have money i...
A. 8 October 2010: Well, it definitely sounds like moving in is not a great idea. You've got really valid concerns - you shouldn't have to lie to your parents, and what if you two break up? What then? And, if you are waiting to have sex, living under the same roof ... (read in full...)
Help! What can I do to enjoy sex more?
Q. hi everyone, I'm a 19 year old female and me and my boyfriend have sex 2-3 times ever yday. i am not that into sex but i do it for him. he enjoys it a lot and i wanna enjoy it too but i dont know why i don't enjoy it that much. yea i kinda like it ...
A. 5 October 2010: I agree with the Princess. You might just need more time between sessions. Maybe it's starting to feel like a chore, or just getting too routine? I know when my fella gets like that I start to feel like a piece of meat and I'm just not quite as into ... (read in full...)
Am I only being driven by guilt?
Q. ok so. I broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago. we had been going out for a year and a half. it was a pretty harsh decision which i regret now. i thought i wanted to go out with other people but now that i am, i want her back. i had never ...
A. 5 October 2010: I feel like you're probably being driven by the whole "you want what you can't have" complex. But, I think what is best is if you really take awhile and think about what you really want. Is it because she seems to have moved on?
Why did you brea... (read in full...)
Do women tell their friends EVERYTHING about their boyfriends???
Q. Ok, to all women, do you talk to your best friends and tell them everything about your bf. i mean everything, like dirty details?...
A. 4 October 2010: Not all women do. A lot are very private about that and will keep quiet about such personal stuff. As for me and my girlfriends (my closest ones... like 3-4 girls), we do share all the details. Some of us more than others.
It's a very personal... (read in full...)
Should I tell her about my past? I'm afraid of what she might think!
Q. I am 39 years old. I was raised in a house filled with deceit. Which is why I am writing today. I met a wonderful woman and have been together for 4 months. I believe in complete openness between lovers to help ensure the best compatibility. I have ...
A. 4 October 2010: I think the important thing to do here is talk to her about it. If you feel like you're carrying around a secret, it will weigh on you and your relationship. So, if you feel that the right thing to do is to tell her, you should have that ... (read in full...)
I haven't dated in a few years because of my anxiety. What can I do to get back into the game?
Q. Hello dear Uncles and Aunts. I have many questions for you, but I do apologize for the book I am about to write you. ;-)I'm a twenty year old college student wondering, "WTF is happening to me?!" Once upon a time, in the glorious land of high sch...
A. 4 October 2010: Hooray!!! Congratulations! ... (read in full...)
Need a little advice on going to the next step, help??
Q. Okay, I have kissed this guy maybe 3 or 4 times.. And i think im ready to go to makeout. I know he wants to because he has told me he wants to before. I have never made out with a guy and im scared i wont do it right. Oh ya, He also has braces. I ...
A. 3 October 2010: Hey sweet. You'll figure out making out. It comes pretty naturally. If you've already kissed and you've watched any movie with a long kiss, you pretty much know the basics! Trust me, once you try it a time or two you'll get the hang of it.
I've ... (read in full...)
First time sex went wrong
Q. My boyfriend and i attempted sex for the first time last night. we were both confident about it and it felt right, but we couldn't manage to get him inside of me. it didnt hurt but we couldn't get him in the vagina. am i too small? or is it normal? ...
A. 3 October 2010: You are totally normal. For me, it took me and my fella an entire MONTH to get him to fit in. So you're not a freak of nature. What it will take is patience, a good attitude and a smile. Don't worry about it getting in... the more you worry, the ... (read in full...)
Can't remember how I was able to have an orgasm, need help please??
Q. I'm so frustrated. I've only cum once and now I don't know how i did it :( And it sucks because the last time I engaged in sexual intercourse, I was so close to climaxing but I couldn't for some reason... even though the sex was amazing as well as ...
A. 3 October 2010: Yeah, masturbation will be your cure for this issue. If you can figure out how to press your own buttons, it will be easy enough to teach. So, try doing a little self exploration and figure out what it takes to get you to orgasm. Be patient and ... (read in full...)
Would I mess up their friendship by asking one of them out??
Q. There are these two girls in my class and they both like me, but they best friends. If I ask one out I might screw up there friendship. What should I do?...
A. 3 October 2010: Well, you've got two choices.
1) Follow your heart. Ask out the girl that you like the most! Don't worry about which one of them likes you more, think about which one that you like more.
2) Don't ask either one of them out. Getting involved... (read in full...)
Should I wait, or date other people?
Q. I am in love but we are broken up... We started going out october of last year and broke up in January. Since then he has dated one other girl. In June, he started hanging out with me again and told me that he still likes me and we hang out and talk ...
A. 3 October 2010: Why did you break up? Who broke up with who? The "Dreaded Ex" is called such for a reason... and as that book title goes, it's called a break up because it's broken. And what's up with this rebound girl, the in between girlfriend? He has already ... (read in full...)
Am I fat?
Q. im 5"3 nd weigh 130 pounds i have a flat tummy nd big breast for some men do you consider this fat? ...
A. 3 October 2010: I'm a female who knows plenty of other females who would positively kill for your figure. You sound perfectly proportioned to me! ... (read in full...)
I want her back and this makes me angry!
Q. My GF left me because she wants to "live life worry free and have fun" a few days ago which has me confused and hurt as it is, she said that i scared her when i said i wanted to settle down...she saw no future in me aswell. i keep trying to convince ...
A. 3 October 2010: Okay, it sounds like she doesn't want to be with you, but enjoys having sex with you when she needs to burn off that extra horniness. You are her ultimate back up plan and she blows you off if something better comes up.
You are not going to get h... (read in full...)
My friend wants to move away to be with his girlfriend
Q. Well my problem is that my best friend wants to move 1200 miles away to Texas to be with his ldr girlfriend. I don't agree with it at all but haven't said anything because he seems so happy. Personally I feel there that no boyfriend or girlfriend is ...
A. 3 October 2010: Not your life, not your decision.
I moved across the country to just hang out for a few weeks, ended up meeting a great guy and staying there for 4 years. Then we got married, and now we're in Hawaii which is even farther away!! If I hadn't p... (read in full...)
I haven't dated in a few years because of my anxiety. What can I do to get back into the game?
Q. Hello dear Uncles and Aunts. I have many questions for you, but I do apologize for the book I am about to write you. ;-)I'm a twenty year old college student wondering, "WTF is happening to me?!" Once upon a time, in the glorious land of high sch...
A. 7 July 2010: Hooray!! Glad to have helped, and ABSOLUTELY update!! I love hearing updates... tell us what new things you're doing to get out there and socialize! ... (read in full...)
I haven't dated in a few years because of my anxiety. What can I do to get back into the game?
Q. Hello dear Uncles and Aunts. I have many questions for you, but I do apologize for the book I am about to write you. ;-)I'm a twenty year old college student wondering, "WTF is happening to me?!" Once upon a time, in the glorious land of high sch...
A. 6 July 2010: I loved reading your question - yes, you do have the creative eye!
You're in college, this means you are surrounded by opportunities. If you love being creative, etc., I think you should consider joining some activities that you'll really e... (read in full...)
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