A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:We are a couple in our 40's and childless...An ex-boyfriend of mine is having a baby, so now I realize it is me who cannot conceive. Though my husband of 5 years have resigned ourselves to not having children (which I desperately want) should I divorce him so that he can have a family with someone younger? Why condemn someone when he would make a great father (and handsome to boot). He said no to foster care about a year ago so that's not an option for us. What do you think, should I suggest this and deal with the loneliness if he agrees? We both took so long to marry in life and there is a huge gaping void without children. Also, when you are childless who do you leave your things to? Does it go to the government?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Everyone else has answered your main question, so I'll just tackle your last one. You can leave your estate to whomever you want--nieces & nephews, your best friend, your favorite charity--in your will. If you die without a will, state law determines who gets what. Generally the estate goes to a surviving spouse, children, parents or siblings. A lawyer can give you more information about the laws where you live.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Go for adoption. It's selfish and egotistical to only want a child if it came from your loins and to say that any other child doesn't count and is not worthy of your love. Family is family, blood or not.
right now, there's a child waiting for you. Your son/daughter is waiting for you to find him/her and bring them home.
I would also hope that your husband is in no way suggesting this to you - that he wants to divorce you so he can have his own kids.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (4 February 2011):
 Don't give up on children and your marriage yet! There is adoption, you could maybe find a surrogate mother...
Before you assume that there is no possibility of children, you should at least go to the doctor to find out what is going on and if this is really an impossibility.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (4 February 2011):
 I'm so sorry to hear about this, it's very hard when you're trying for children and you can't conceive. Have you been to a fertility doctor? Have you been tested, both you and your husband to see if it is a fertility problem?
My mother was told she couldn't have any children either after my older sister and she had seven before she passed away. My bf and I had been trying for years before we finally conceived this last year.
Have you and your husband considered adoption? Lots of children out there who would love for you to be their parents and it makes it even more special because you choose them.
Would your husband be happy with a younger woman? It doesn't sound like he would be okay without you.
Just some options to consider, wish you and your husband the best of luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 February 2011):
Have you been to the doctor and actually been checked out? It might not be you at all. Start with that, then get back to us about the rest. Just don't get a divorce or discuss leaving him. Also, if you're childless and single, you can always leave your money to other family members, or even a charity.
But please go to a doctor first.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (4 February 2011):
You do know there are hundreds of kids out there that would love to be adopted right??
Let see...let your husband go to fill his void,and create a bigger one for you...or fill both voids by adopting a child...what to do, what to do.
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