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*ddie agony aunt

*ddie

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*ddie's profile:

Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.

I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.

The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part.

Latest articles:

Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?

This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...

Fidelity and marriage

This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...

< Prev56789101112131415Next > [51 pages, 1988 answers]

She told me she met a friend to tell him not to contact her, but I discovered they are still talking. Any thoughts?

Q.   hi. my girlfriend kept a secret meeting from me a while ago. she says she was visiting an aunty. so i thought nothing of it. then i found out it was some guy. not a date, friends. i didnt believe her. she told him not to contact her. this was in ...

A.   21 September 2008: Well you know she's is not telling the truth. What do you have to lose by telling her what information you have? You don't have to tell her how you know, just that you know. If she is actually guilty she doesn't really have much to stand on. By ... (read in full...)

Is he asking me to coffee because he's being 'nice', or is he asking me on a date? He's married!

Q.   I've known this guy for about a year now. He's 11 years older than I am, married, and I'm confused about his intentions. I always made sure that we only interacted at work. I'm not going to deny that there is an attraction there, but I'm not that...

A.   21 September 2008: If it's coffee while on break at work, that's one thing. If it's after hours, that's something else. The fact he's texting you leads me to believe he wants more. Men usually have other ideas or at least the thought crosses their minds. You ... (read in full...)

I'm truly willing to wait as long as I have to for her. I guess my question is - how do I keep myself sane in the meantime?

Q.   I'm a recently divorced 29 yr old male with a HUGE issue. I'm in love with someone elses wife! After my marriage ended close to two years ago I approached relationships in a whole new way, overcautiously. I "played the field" for a while trying t...

A.   21 September 2008: Keep your nose out of other marriages. Have some integrity. People who choose your path create problems for others. What is thew point of this? The world is bigger than your needs. Find a single woman.... (read in full...)

I finally found my lost love after 16 years, but he's married? What do you think is the best thing I should do?

Q.   I just recently found a man i was in love with back in high school, and still in love with after. We were together for four years even after he moved away. He then moved back after high school graduation so we could be together. The thing is, the ...

A.   20 September 2008: Do not interfere in his marriage or become a catalyst to end it. Don't encourage him by patting him on the back and giving the "poor baby" treatment when he is moaning about his life and problems. Stay out of his business. If he is a single man ... (read in full...)

I am ashamed that we are hurting both of our spouses but no matter how hard I try I cannot give him up. Your thoughts? Do you think he'll leave his wife?

Q.   My lover said he wants to leave his wife to marry me but keep her as a a business partner. Do you think that he is just keeping her around because he is afraid to let go of her completely? We have been having an emotional affair for about 2 year...

A.   20 September 2008: You say that you are aware that you're doing something wrong. Good, stop doing that. What do you think God would think? I'm not religious but I find that interesting. Praying is supposed to lead you to the correct choice. You're involving ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to feel that "someday" I will be with him when I'm already married?

Q.   I have been married for 6 years. We have 5 boys (from different marriages). We love each other. Recently I met up with a past love and rekindled feelings, plus more. We know that I can't and don't want to divorce, but I really love this other ...

A.   9 September 2008: "Rekindled feelings plus more"...what is the more part? Feelings are not wrong. Actions are. You're seeing this through rose colored glasses. If you have allowed yourself to love this other man, you're doing a disservice to your husband and ... (read in full...)

Is he telling the truth? Should I trust him? He refused to let me see the cell phone bill!

Q.   My husband of 5 years had an affair while I was out of the country for 2 weeks. He said it was over(after 3months). I asked to see the cell phone bill. He refused and I needed to trust him. He gets so angry when I ask. Is he telling me the truth. ...

A.   8 September 2008: The rule is simple. When you get caught cheating you have to become an open book. That is the price of cheating and what you need to do to try and rebuild the relationship. He owes you that.... (read in full...)

My husband went on a cosy 'business' dinner, I'm worried he will cheat!

Q.   My husband recently went for a dinner with his supplier who met him at office for business purpose. I saw his mails and found they went out for a cozy dinner. He hid it from me. I asked him he said just a friend. What should I do after this. I worry ...

A.   7 September 2008: What does "cozy" mean to you Are you just attaching that connotation to it? How did he hide it from you? Is it possible he just didn't mention it?... (read in full...)

I feel he wants something different but knows he can't have it so he settles with me. Why? Because of his porn-watching...

Q.   I recently caught my husband masturbating to porn....since then I simply cannot bring myself to want to be intimate with him...I feel undesirable and cant help but notice all of the women looked about 15-20yrs younger than me (im in my 40s) and none ...

A.   6 September 2008: Unless your husband is spending all his time watching porn and masturbating to porn, it's not as big an issue as you're making it. You may not like it but you need to cut the connection between porn and you. You can not control another persons ... (read in full...)

Faced with the dilemma of abandoning my 30 year marriage or losing the lost (and found) love I yearned for so much!

Q.   I love my lover so much but find it so difficult to leave my wife and daughter. Two years ago, over 30 years on, the love of my life contacted me. I always felt it only was a matter of time before we were in touch again. Since then we have formed a...

A.   6 September 2008: Remember, magical things are tricks. You're painting this illicit relationship like a Hollywood movie. Of course you don't love your wife like the other woman. You had a real relationship with your wife. You had "time and history" with her. You ... (read in full...)

Do men who don't watch porn exist or should I give up and stay single?...

Q.   when I commit to a special man I hope to be his only and for him to get his sexual arousal from my body alone...is this too much to ask.....I cant imagine ever needing to look at another mans body for arousal once commited....and I cant imagine ever ...

A.   6 September 2008: You shouldn't stay single but you should be a little more in tune with the reality of the situation. Most importantly though, you need to define what "arousal" means to you. Is arousal merely noticing another woman, getting an erection, ... (read in full...)

How do I live with my boyfriend and avoid sex?

Q.   I want to live with my boyfriend. How can I avoid sex before marriage? What excuse should I give when he asks for that? ...

A.   23 August 2008: If having sex before marriage is wrong, living together should be off limits too. It's naive to think your chances of living together and avoiding sex is very promising. Sex is a natural urge and you're at an age where it can be hard to resist. ... (read in full...)

A friend of ours asked about our marriage problems, should I be concerned about his motives?

Q.   I am married, but recently have realized that I am not happy with our marriage. I have talked to my husband about it and we are trying to work it out. My question is actually re: a friend. He must have noticed that things were different b/t my...

A.   20 August 2008: A genuine friend would be concerned. Be careful not to divulge too much though. Talk to your husband about it. If your friend has high morals, there is no bad intent. Only you know the relationship between you and him. Be careful though.... (read in full...)

How do I break away from a married man after five years?

Q.   I have dated a married man for five years now and i would like to get over him very much. we have not benn intimate for 9 months now but i feel like i am going to go backwards pleas give me advice on how to get over him....

A.   20 August 2008: Think about how wrong it is to carry on with another persons spouse. If or no other reason, do it because it's the proper thing to do. Find a partner who is available. If you have issues to deal with, talk to a therapist. Find out why your ... (read in full...)

My husband is a wonderful man but I think of him as a best friend or a brother, should I give up on my marriage?

Q.   I have been married for a year and a half. My husband is a wonderful man and would do anything for me. The problem is, I think of him more as a best friend/brother than my husband. We share everything but I have to admit that I have no physical ...

A.   16 August 2008: Your biggest mistake so far is cheating on your husband. Being attracted to another guy is no crime but if you've confirmed with this other guy that the feeling is mutual, you've mentally cheated. That is very disrespectful to your husband. No ... (read in full...)

My friend-with-benefits said he doesn't have feelings for me. Is it just that he doesn't want to tell me?

Q.   This guy and I have had a friends with benefits relationship for the past 6 months, and he said that he didn't really want to hookup anymore, and that he still loved his ex (He has had feelings for his ex the entire time we've been together. He's ...

A.   10 August 2008: A couple of the aunts replied saying this guy was having his cake and eating it too. It seems to me that the person who posed the question is equally to blame. You can't just say that the guy only wants sex and she doesn't. You can't have the type ... (read in full...)

Miserable with my husband, should I have an affair?

Q.   I am thinking of having an affair out of frustration and low self-esteem. My husband and I have not had any sexual encounters for eight years because he feels I am too aggressive and direct in general. He views me as a huge source of pressure and ...

A.   5 August 2008: If you can not tolerate his behavior, deal with it in an other way beside cheating. That would probably crush him. You would regret it and feel hollow also. Maybe your husband needs an ultimatum.... (read in full...)

I try to be professional while working with both, but my colleague seems hypervigilant of me and her man, knowing of our past attraction. Any suggestions?

Q.   Hoping for some help from the agony aunts.I have gotten some good advice here in the past. I worked with a man with whom I had a strong attraction. I found out he was married and decided it could go no furher. I thought it would be all well and good ...

A.   2 August 2008: Unless this is interfering with your work, it is none of your concern. Let her treat him as she chooses. It's a devious affair anyway. ... (read in full...)

Miserable with my husband, should I have an affair?

Q.   I am thinking of having an affair out of frustration and low self-esteem. My husband and I have not had any sexual encounters for eight years because he feels I am too aggressive and direct in general. He views me as a huge source of pressure and ...

A.   2 August 2008: What good will having an affair do and what does it have to so with the problems in your marriage? All it will do is make more problems. You've seemed to identify issues that trouble you so why cheat? ... (read in full...)

Silly things lead to my boyfriend to distrust me, can I hope that he changes? I have always been truthful.

Q.   I am divorce have an 8 years daughter, after my marriage I stayed single for almost 4 years, then I met my boyfriend online 3 years ago, eventually he moved in with me because I did not want to get married again. The first year was so happy I though ...

A.   30 July 2008: Do not let him control you. Every time you give in to his wishes, you justify his behavior. He thinks the fact you put up with his demands is an indication he's actually correct.... (read in full...)

I want to leave my husband in order to be with an ex of 28 years ago - how do I rid of my hubby gently?

Q.   I have been talking to my ex-boyfriend of 28 years ago. Out of the blue he called me when he wsa in the Bay Area and we found out that we both still have feelings for each other but I am married and want to leave my husband. I have from time to ...

A.   29 July 2008: Taking your kids to live with a stranger is totally irresponsible. Re-think that choice. You will be turning their lives upside down.... (read in full...)

I want to leave my husband in order to be with an ex of 28 years ago - how do I rid of my hubby gently?

Q.   I have been talking to my ex-boyfriend of 28 years ago. Out of the blue he called me when he wsa in the Bay Area and we found out that we both still have feelings for each other but I am married and want to leave my husband. I have from time to ...

A.   28 July 2008: First of all, take a breath. Your ex has absolutely no business deciding where your kids should live. I'd bet your husband does have some rights to the house too. You say you've been talking to your ex. The truth is, you don't even know him ... (read in full...)

Is doubting a relationship normal? Do all couples experience it on some level?

Q.   Hi all, I'll try to make this as brief as possible! I broke up with my partner last year after being together for 3 years. I had spent a great deal of time obsessing about our compatibility, and I realised that life is just too short to spend s...

A.   25 July 2008: You will always have doubts about things in life. It could also pertain to your job, where you live etc. There is ALWAYS the possibility that there is someone better out there. There will always be a better job and a bigger house. You already ... (read in full...)

My husband told me he is attracted to her but they are only friends, do I have reasons to worry?

Q.   my husband of 19 years met a 23 year old waitress in our local cafe. She has sinced moved to another state but they talk to each other 3-4 times a day. He seems to get upset when i ask if he has talked to her and what they talked about. he has ...

A.   23 July 2008: What he is doing is inappropriate. He is attracted to her and gets some pay off by the communication. If they lived close to each other, who knows what might happen. So to answer your question about jealousy, yes you are jealous. BUT, you have ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend started working out and now he gets lots of female attention. It's bugging me!

Q.   My boyfriend is currently working out to improve his health and also the looks. He's a big build guy (typical Scottish guy), blond hair and blue eyes. I know he's faithful to me and will not go out with any other girls. Since he started working out, ...

A.   23 July 2008: I don't believe there are any guys that get invited out 3-5 times a week. It may have happened one week, once in his life but not on a regulare basis. It's nice he's honest but it's bothereing you. Let him know.... (read in full...)

I'm in a relationship but there's this other guy... do you think he's interested in something more?

Q.   I am in a relationship for a long time (many years). But a few years ago I met someone that I like very much and have strong feelings for. He is also in a relationship and lives with his girlfriend for many years. He is sometimes talkative and ...

A.   23 July 2008: You don't have a friendship. You don't want to be his buddy. You want to be his lover. Do not confuse that with being friends. That is what you call it so you can justify your actions. You are poking your nose where it doesn't belong. Do ... (read in full...)

Why is my husband lying to me?

Q.   He went home for a week which was fine as we had talked about and been better. That way he would not have had to drive back and forth 2 weekends in a row. (its about 600 miles round trip) But when he got back I noticed that he put an extra 300-400 ...

A.   23 July 2008: Why are you investigating so much?... (read in full...)

I told him I want to have sex with him, so isn't the ball in his court now??

Q.   I told this guy at work 5 weeks ago that I want to have sex with him. He seemed very receptive at that time, but nothing's happened yet! I went away on vacation for 3 weeks and just returned to work last week. I've been ignoring and avoiding him, ...

A.   21 July 2008: I agree with FinnMcCool.....That is chasing guys. ... (read in full...)

Gut-wrenching attraction to another man - what do I do?

Q.   I have been married for a year and have a 3 yr old son to my husband, I cant say that I have loved him since we have had our son, he is dificult, lazy and agressive and totally dependent on me, like a child. I work very hard in a very high pressured ...

A.   15 July 2008: Attraction is normal. These feelings may also be amplified by the fact you're not thrilled with your married life. You need to work on your relationship at home before you go too far. It is easy to get caught up in attraction. The truth is you ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my boyfriend about his friend trying to feel me up?

Q.   Last night I had gone out with my bf and our friends and all that and most people were pretty tipsy except for this one guy who doesn't drink or anything. My bf and I had this huge fight and we weren't talking at all. Later we were all sitting at a ...

A.   13 July 2008:  I think you should tell him. If you don't you might look like it didn't really bother you. The other choice would be to tell the guy that if he ever tried that again you'd tell your boyfriend. He has to know it was not appreciated.... (read in full...)

Cheap boyfriend who won't share - should I just move on to someone who doesn't put money first?

Q.   I am 46 and broke, my previous husband took me to the cleaners, I became homeless and had to live with another family for 6 months until I got on my feet. I have now managed to do this and have met a man who is wealthy. He won't pay for meals when ...

A.   13 July 2008: In my world, when you are in love with someone it's a package deal. My wife and I spend from the same pot of money, no matter who contributes more. I happily paid for lots of things when we first met. I wanted to make the relationship work and ... (read in full...)

A holiday fling would have been good, but was I so wrong to want a build up to it?

Q.   I recently met a man who wanted sex with me but I held back (I did want to though) although the meals were included on holiday he never once asked me to go for a meal with him on our own (It wouldnt have cost him) but one day we were walking back to ...

A.   13 July 2008: A "fling" is really just sex. Why make it something it's not. You're either OK with it or not. All the wining and dining is really no effort if you're in a resort and it's all included. What would he have been proving? It's not wrong to want ... (read in full...)

I am not in love with my wife any more. I need to decide what to do.

Q.   I have been married for 18 years and together with my wife for 21. We have three great kids aged from 10-16. My wife is a wonderful person who loves me unconditionally. The problem is that I truly am not in love with her anymore. I care about her ...

A.   11 July 2008: The spot you are at is called mid life crisis. Without even realizing it, you have it all. You are bored, not out of love. You need to rekindle what is missing. This happens to many people. You have arrived at the point where the umbrella that ... (read in full...)

Need advice badly. I am having an affair and don't know why.

Q.   I am 29 and have been in an amazing, loving, fun relationship for 2 years. I have found my soulmate. I love him dearly and we have a wonderful time together. We have great sex, we laugh a lot, we have fun, he's very stable, attentive, generous...

A.   9 July 2008: Try honesty. All the nice lip service you've said about your boyfriend add up to nothing, it's the same old song and dance. You're cheating and plan to take it further. Leave your soul mate. Do him a favour and give him his freedom. If he's a ... (read in full...)

I lied and kept things that had happened in past relationships to myself. He dumped me! I want him back!

Q.   I started dating JR 2 months ago we've known each other for 14 years. It might have been quick but I KNOW he's the one. There was much more than just chemistry and passion. It was something that cannot be explained. I don't have the time or space...

A.   6 July 2008: I also believe he is somewhat jealous. If you tell him the truth it will bother him. If you don't tell him the truth it will bother him. You should not have to pay the price for crimes you didn't commit. He either accepts you as you are or he ... (read in full...)

I took my wife back, but now there's no affection from her.

Q.   i have been married for 36 year my wife left me 5 years ago for someone she meet on the internet after a lot of crap i did settlement and tryed to get on with my life, it didnot work out for her i think and when we meet i took her back i love her ...

A.   6 July 2008: Since we don't know the damage that was done to your relationship before she left, it's hard to know what resentment she holds. Having said that, she did the ultimate dirty deed and came to regret it. It seems though that not much has changed at ... (read in full...)

He's addicted to porn but he's perfect in every other way. I don't know what to do.

Q.   I'm pretty depressed right now. I've been with my 42 year old boyfriend for 3.5 years. I am 40. At the start of our relationship he was upfront about his porno tapes. About 6 months later when feelings started developing I became insecure with ...

A.   6 July 2008: I'm trying to examine the development of your relationship. He was honest and mentioned that he views porn. Was this just a statement he blurted out or something that you discovered while chatting? You still stayed with him and the relationship ... (read in full...)

I'm furious at what I found on his Facebook account. Am I over reacting?

Q.   I need advice. I have been married for 15 years and we have 4 children. My husband recently got a facebook account. He has added old friends and even an old girlfriend. I didnt like that much but she also added me as a friend so I did not let...

A.   6 July 2008: He's angry because he got caught. Nothing more, nothing less. What else can he say. He did the deed. You snooped but you were correct. That over rides your invasion of his privacy. Question...If you were really sure he committed a serious ... (read in full...)

The woman I'm seeing wants me to tell my partner about our relationship.

Q.   I have been with my partner for 8 years and we have small children. I met someone else 8 months ago and have been seeing them. I told my partner I had feelings for the other person but she does not know how much. The other woman has asked for me ...

A.   6 July 2008: Wat can you do? Stop being an inconsiderate cheater.... (read in full...)

I am having sex with someone that's doing someone else!

Q.   What do I do with myself - I hate the person I have become! I went out with a married man twice and he dumped me. I recovered from it after going for vacation immediately after, and a month and half later we met at a party and sure as hell I acted ...

A.   5 July 2008: It's OK for you to have sex. It's not OK to have sex with a married man. That is one of the most disrespectful things you could possibly do. It shows a total lack of good character and is definitely lacking in the morality department. If he and ... (read in full...)

I just had a baby and now my partner seems unimportant!

Q.   Dear Agony Aunts! Please help me as you've always guided me so well in the past.. I am 23 and my boyfriend of 2 years and I have just had a beautiful baby boy whom I absolutely adore.. The only thing is that now he is 4 months old, he seems to...

A.   5 July 2008: It's good your realize your feelings. For many people this begins the slide into being content and never bothering to turn over any more stones. It also leads to boredom and cheating. NEVER forget where your son came from. Never forget that you... (read in full...)

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