A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband has been a bit distant from me and he's been more into his job lately. I have this gut feeling that is starting some relationship with a female co-worker of his since he used to just call on a break to say hi and that has stopped and says he was too busy. I rang his phone once and it ringing and just got his voicemail. When he got home I told him that I tried to call him and he said that I didnt, so i wanted to show him his cell log from his phone and it wasnt there while on my phone it showed that I dialed him. I have confronted him with my feeling and so i accused him of having something going on at work and he became defensive and started to yell and kick me in my legs very hard. I will be leaving him soon and moving back to my family though I just want to know what you all think of this situation. Have I overeacted or could i be correct that there could have been something going on since he has acted this way?
View related questions:
a break, affair, at work, co-worker Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): Hi
My husband started to verbally abuse me, then he kicked me in the head, pulled my hair and kicked and pushed me again. This took place over a period of 2 years. 3 weeks ago he pushed a wine glass into my head resulting in wounding.
Sad thing is I didnt press charges,I fought for him not to be prosecuted.
Sad thing is he never apologised.
Sad thing is I still love him and am in turmoil as to what to do.
It does get worse over time. And in time you do start to accept it as the norm.
LEAVE HIM NOW before you are caught in the cycle of abuse.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): KICKED YOU!!You know what, who cares now if he is cheating, he is physically abusive, what was that all about? I don't know what to say, should you be upset about an affair or the physical abuse, God help you if you find out proof about the affair, he is more likely to kill you...IT IS TIME TO LEAVE GIRL.TAKE CARE SWEETIE
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 He shouldn't kick you, that's for sure. Since nobody knows you, we don't know where you're coming from as far as his cheating goes. You should have waited until your had proof. When you say you "confronted" him, was it totally a verbal confrontation?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): Go with the gut instinct - if you think about previous 'gut feelings' in your life when have they actually turned out to be wrong?! I bet hardly ever. He is aggressive to extremes and this is likely to be because he is guilty of something when accused. Do not feel bad - you did the right thing in confronting him. His actions are not forgiveable. You could of course get the evidence together it isn't hard to achieve these days and really catch him out? This may help your decision. I wish you a peaceful and happy future.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Do you know why we have these gut feelings? It's a form of warning signs, same as when people develop red flags. The gut is generally not wrong. These feelings are produces when our brain picks up on changes that are abnormal compared to our usual way of being. I'd say there probably is something going on. Now with him physically kicking you. It's time to say goodbye, or his abusive behavior may escallate.
Take care, and I think you've made the right decision to end it.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Kicking You? Oh My God! What a Jerk!!!
I am so glad that you are strong enough to leave this man. Everything the other Aunts said is true, he is getting defensive because he is guilty and he is being abusive. You are better off without him. The good thing is that you are strong and found all of this out before he became even more abusive.
I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this. It's a shock to find out that the man that you have married is lying to you, but assaulting you is unforgivable. You deserve to be treated with love and respect, and you are not going to get it from this man.
I'm glad that you have the support of you family. The first thing that you should do is document the evidence, your bruises, by photograph and a Doctor's report. Then contact a Lawyer.
...............................
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (31 January 2008):
 I think that you made the right decision.
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 Hi,
Good thing you are leaving this jerk. Getting defensive when asked about whether he is having an affair is a classic sign of guilt. If my wife asked me I would shrug and most probably laugh ( who with??? ) I certainly wouldn't get defensive.
Kicking you is abuse, get out as soon as you can. We all make mistakes , just put this one down to a big one and you will meet someone who will treat you with respect.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dawnie  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 Hi, Your husband has behaved disgracefully, kicking you!
His reaction to your accusations could point to an affair as i believe people get defensive when they are found out or maybe he is just plain nasty.
You are wise to leave him as you can't live with someone who treats you so bad.
As for you over reacting, was there other reasons for you being suspicious other than the ones you listed, as those alone don't indicate an affair. However his actions since have proved even if he is innocent your better off out of it. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): He kicked you legs, that is enough to warrant getting out of there. You should of called the police the moment he did that. That is assault and i know because if was a battered wife.
You havent overreacted, i think you hit the nail on the head actually for him to react like that. He is the one in the wrong, so stay away and get a new life, you deserve better. Even if he isnt guilty of having an affair, he is guilty of assaulting you.
take care
xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 well in my opinion, when someone is confronted about this there are 2 ways they will react. the first is they take it gently, be hurt and annoyed by this but assure you that there is nothing going on. the other is that they get all defensive and scream. the former is usually evidence that there is nothing going on. however, that is just an opinion. to be honest, at this point you should leave him anyway. he kicked you!! never in any situation is that acceptable for someone to do to their spouse. yes he could have been having an affair, but better that then staying with a wife beater.
...............................
|
