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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
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How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
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A. 17 March 2011: Thanks for the response aAoa, but it is a little off topic. To bring it on topic, think about the answer to these questions: How does what you wrote apply to the advice you see on this forum? How does it influence what you tell people?... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
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A. 3 March 2011: Thanks Cerberus. You make a good point about dominance versus equality. It's a shame that attitude gets reflected in a prevailing bias on this advice forum as well.
... (read in full...)
My wife cheated on me 2 days ago, would you agree?
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A. 24 February 2011: Thanks for the update. I know this is an incredibly difficult time for you, but it's good that you're getting to the bottom of the problems you two are facing.
In my eyes, communication is the most important part of a relationship. It literall... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
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How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 23 February 2011: I agree that it can be helpful, as can the experiences of people who have lived through a situation similar to what has been presented by the OP. We can't take that for granted.
To me, it all depends on the question. Some people need you to e... (read in full...)
I like my best friends ex girlfirend.
Q. ok so I like y best friend's ex-girlfriend. I'll explain how it happened: ok so my bestfriend and I used to live in the same town and one time my friend told me he was dating a girl from a nearby town that he met in a church convention. I ne...
A. 22 February 2011: Thanks for the follow up. Sounds like you made the right choice. She may not be ready. It wasn't too much to ask where you stood. Courting her is one thing, but you should at least have an idea of where you stand, or what's the point.... (read in full...)
Do I just tell him I want to wait for my birthday to have sex??
Q. Hey guys, me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year now. I am 15 almost 16 and he is already 16, he suggested us having sex, I was quite weary as to do it or not, this is because i weigh quite a lot and have very large breasts that ...
A. 22 February 2011: You're welcome, glad to help!... (read in full...)
I am 15, 5'4", and weigh around 114 lbs., would this be normal?
Q. Is it normal to be 15, 5' 4" and weigh 113-114.5 lbs? I was reading some articles, and most girls my age and height, weighed 120-130lbs. Am I underweight? I don't even look that skinny! I have a small stomach and med-thick thighs. My aunt even tol...
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"I don't even look that skinny!" Compared to what? Models? They are walking skeletons. NOT attractive in my book.
... (read in full...)
How the hell are people able to break up and not get devastated??
Q. OK so it has been a week since this girl I was in a relationship and I stopped speaking. I initiated it because she was lying and hurting me and we talked about it for weeks before and I know it was the best thing. BUT...it is killing me!!! It...
A. 22 February 2011: Yeah, a really good metaphor indeed!... (read in full...)
Do I just tell him I want to wait for my birthday to have sex??
Q. Hey guys, me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year now. I am 15 almost 16 and he is already 16, he suggested us having sex, I was quite weary as to do it or not, this is because i weigh quite a lot and have very large breasts that ...
A. 22 February 2011: Don't worry about that stuff. He doesn't care. You're attractive to him.
As long as you don't feel pressured into sex, you should do what you want. If you want some birthday sex, then go for it. It will be legal for you at that time.... (read in full...)
How do I attract the boys who I am like?
Q. First off I am 15 going on 16 in a couple weeks, and I'm weird when It comes to the 'type' of boy I like. I either like Tall, lanky kind of boys or short-ish chubby boys. Oh, and they must have decent taste in music, and have a sense of humor. I...
A. 22 February 2011: Instead of trying to attract a different type, why not just go ask one out? There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking a guy out.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of two years breaks up with me, saying he only sees me as a friend now?
Q. So me and my boyfriend of two years couldn't get alone better. We have so much in common and being together is when we were at our happiest. Now, this was online dating but we had been good friends before he asked me. He lives about two hours away, ...
A. 22 February 2011: Needs a break from what, your imaginary relationship? I know this is harsh, but in two years you two have missed out on real connections with people for a virtual relationship that is more fantasy than reality. You love the idea of him, but you ... (read in full...)
How the hell are people able to break up and not get devastated??
Q. OK so it has been a week since this girl I was in a relationship and I stopped speaking. I initiated it because she was lying and hurting me and we talked about it for weeks before and I know it was the best thing. BUT...it is killing me!!! It...
A. 22 February 2011: I like The Realist's perspective about your heart growing.
Casual break ups can only happen if people aren't that invested in each other. Not everyone can break up casually, people just learn how to deal with it better.
Many times people do ... (read in full...)
Sex has never happened for me and I'm worried I will end up an old maid!
Q. Looking for some advice; I'm a 23 year old female, and I've never had sex. It's not a question or beliefs, or prudishness- it's just not something that ever happened. In highschool and university I hung out mainly with other girls, and I never ...
A. 22 February 2011: At 23 you're hardly getting up there in years. You've got plenty of time.
From the sounds of it, you haven't really done any dating, is that correct?
Have you had anyone ask you out? Have you attempted to get out there in the dating world?... (read in full...)
Why does my partner lose his erection during intercourse without ejaculating?
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What does it mean when a man gives you a drawer?
Q. I have a man I'm seeing long distance. We started this relationship in early November We are two hours apart... we email and talk on the phone a few times a week... I go to visit him since he cannot be around my dogs. I have been up to see h...
A. 22 February 2011: Haha, CindyCares, that episode is a good one. And she's right OP, it is a step toward commitment. Or rather one of the stages in commitment that some men will take. It's for your convenience as much as his reassurance that you'll be back. By ... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 22 February 2011: For posterity sake, my previous reply was written before Jmtmj and Odds replies had shown up for me.
Thank you Odds for your post and attempting to bring us back on topic. It's my hope we can continue this discussion on topic without delving ... (read in full...)
Why did my wife get upset when I saw a topless sunbather on a beach?
Q. This may be a funny question to ask but my wife got so mad on a trip we took to Mexico when we saw a woman laying out topless. Why is that? I am not the guy who makes comments about other women or takes long stares at them; I have always been very ...
A. 22 February 2011: If it happens again, make a comment like "She should really put a top on. Nobody wants to see that."
Then again, that's admitting to noticing... Really, you're just boned no matter what. ... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 22 February 2011: I'll admit, I did take your post to be your views Chigirl. In my defense, the historical perspective you presented you did state was a bias you shared, and one you hypothesized many other women also share.
I did not say your advice was bad. I ... (read in full...)
Is he cheating because he doesn't want sex?
Q. Hey, I really want my boyfriend to have relaxed sex but hes always too serious! He goes for about 2 minutes and then says stop being childish, I have to get rest. I'm thinking of breaking up with him because hes been not wanting to have sex, ...
A. 22 February 2011: I'm wondering what's up with the childish comment. Nothing childish about wanting good sex.
He could be cheating, or he could just be unhappy or tired. Impossible to say. If you're unhappy, then you need to talk to him about it. How he respo... (read in full...)
Why did my wife get upset when I saw a topless sunbather on a beach?
Q. This may be a funny question to ask but my wife got so mad on a trip we took to Mexico when we saw a woman laying out topless. Why is that? I am not the guy who makes comments about other women or takes long stares at them; I have always been very ...
A. 22 February 2011: She's insecure. Remind her that you cannot control what other people do and that her being mad at you for this is misplaced because you love her and hadn't set out to oogle boobies that day. As long as you weren't caught staring, you've got a good ... (read in full...)
How do I tell her about my feelings?
Q. i love one girl since 7 years .i didn't tell her about it,i am afraid to tell her,i can't even face her,how can i tell her about my feeling?...
A. 22 February 2011: Do you talk? Does she know you? How well do you know each other?
Step 1. Ask her out.
Step 2. Go on some dates.
Step 3. Tell her how you feel.
A confession of years of love will overwhelm her. See if she's interested first, then c... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 22 February 2011: Mishmash, thank you for the excellent post.
Chigirl, I think you partially grasped my point, but it not entirely. I'll detail what I mean.
My point in this article was to point out this: "I will admit, although not seeing it as a flaw, that ... (read in full...)
I can't cum during foreplay or masturbation!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while and have been sexually active for about 4 months. But anytime we try foreplay I can never come. Is there something wrong with me? I've never been able to make myself come by masturbation as well. ...
A. 21 February 2011: Have you tried a vibrator? Maybe watching some movies for ideas on how to do it? Do you come close? By cum do you mean orgasm or ejaculate? Not all women ejaculate, but that doesn't mean they didn't orgasm.... (read in full...)
My wife cheated on me 2 days ago, would you agree?
Q. It hurts so much to write this right now. I never imagined being even remotely close to cheated on but from the investigating I've done, the mere thought appears to be the inevitable... I've been with my wife for 9 years. She's 26 and I'm 30. ...
A. 21 February 2011: Sorry this happened to you. I agree with your course of action, although I'd be tempted to cut her off and claim full custody of your child.
Good luck going forward. This will not be easy.... (read in full...)
He sent me flowers on Valentine's day. Is it too much to think this means something? Is he interested?
Q. I met this guy on a dating website almost a year now. We're talking as friends, nothing serious. He sent me flowers on Valentine's Day although we live in two different continents. Does this mean anything? I really like him, but I'm just worried to ...
A. 21 February 2011: No, flowers on valentines day mean he's definitely interested. It's a romantic holiday, if he wanted to send flowers where no romance was involved, he could choose just about any other day of the year. You met on a DATING website. He's interested ... (read in full...)
A friend a mine has given me a second ultimatum! I feel she is crossing the line. What do you think?
Q. Okay, I'm embarrassed to even be posting this. It's sad that middle age people have to even indulge in the following behavior. Let me explain: I have a friend who we will call Sue. Sue and I have been friends for over 2 years. We met online and h...
A. 21 February 2011: I'm with the others. Anyone who imposes such an ultimatum is no true friend. Not that I'd advise getting back with an ex either, but that's a different issue.... (read in full...)
Help me to figure out why I behave this way
Q. Hello! So I'm posting this question to just get some anonymous advice about something. I have been friends with a guy for a while and I kind of knew he liked me more than just that. But I kept feeling like I wasn't really into it. He finally ...
A. 21 February 2011: I think Ampersand is right, this is a case of you wanting what you can't have, coupled with a desire for a relationship more than a desire for this individual.
I think you're afraid to put yourself out there and risk getting hurt. That's part of ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and I think I might be gay. Help!
Q. Im 13 and i have a girlfriend but i feel attracted to boys as well. Iv watched normal porn but i watch gay porn as well because i feel like i get more horney over gay porn. I love my girlfriend a lot. But does this make me gay?...
A. 21 February 2011: No, it's very natural for boys and girls your age to start having feelings toward the same sex. It doesn't mean you're gay, and it doesn't mean you're not. I would not concern yourself too much about this. If you love your girlfriend and are ... (read in full...)
We've been together over six years and he's still not sure about marriage?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my boyfriend for 6 and a half years we have lived together for 3 years. I am 24, he is 32. We have a good relationship and have had our ups and downs like any relationship. Our sex life is not what is used to be but I...
A. 21 February 2011: Forcing this issue is a sure fire way to have it blow up in your face. I'm really sorry to say it, but I've learned that one from experience.
I'm sure you've told him you want to marry him, but I'm curious how you've approached it. Did you ask ... (read in full...)
Met with an ex from 15 years ago and he was totally rude?
Q. my ex left me for another woman 15 years ago. years later i was thinking of him and looked for him on fb and found him, we started chatting and we were talking about our passed and much we liked it and what could have been and what not. At one point ...
A. 21 February 2011: So, you're involved, but looking to hook up with an ex from 15 years ago? Did I read that right?
It's good he was rude. It shows you why you shouldn't be with him. Nothing like a slap like that as a reminder why you broke up!
Work on your ... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 21 February 2011: Correlation is not causation. "A genetic predisposition" is a cop out in my book. People make their own choices. Saying they cheat because it's in there genetics is bullshit. I've seen studies about genetic predispositions to just about ... (read in full...)
I have no feelings for him but he seems to think we're going out!
Q. He really likes me, but I'm just not that into him.... what do I do?!? In brief, lovely guy, goes to my college and we share some classes, he's funny, charming, really sweet guy, and he recently told me he really really likes me and asked me out...
A. 21 February 2011: I think you should give him a little more of a chance. It's definitely ok to tell him your concerns. It may not be easy for him to hear, but he should know. Sometimes we can't help who we're attracted to. Sometimes that really great person just ... (read in full...)
Am I justified for breaking-up with her?
Q. I was with my girlfriend for about 1 year and I still have feeling for her. Problem is at a New Years Eve party when we were in a relationship I saw her in a corner getting off or making out with another guy. I vaguely knew him and I just left them ...
A. 21 February 2011: You're doing the right thing. She needs to know you won't be cheated on. Forgiving her is one thing, but putting yourself back in the same situation is just stupid.
She blew her chance with you. Let her know it. Her words are worthles... (read in full...)
I need some advice, to help my friend
Q. My best-friend, has being dating this girl for year and a month now. last Friday she wrote him a text massage saying she knew what she was about to tell him wound hurt him but prayed that he would understand. Then she said she was putting everything ...
A. 21 February 2011: Being friends with someone like this is almost impossible. All it does is prevent you from being able to deal with your feelings, and properly grieving the dead relationship. Going from boyfriend and girlfriend to just friends only works for the ... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 21 February 2011: Battista, it definitely isn't just you!
Odds, I knew what you meant even before you posted your correction. ;-) You're absolutely correct, and I think part of why I didn't even consider the historical perspective is because I haven't experien... (read in full...)
Facebook Ruined My Life
Q. Is it just me or is Facebook a total head-wreck? Personally, I see it as one big popularity contest. I mean it is so pointless. Why not go out and meet your friends for real, instead of giving yourself a headache trying to think of the 'coolest' ...
A. 21 February 2011: FB isn't all bad, but people who live on it are pathetic. A virtual life is not a life. Most of the time I couldn't be bothered with it, but it is nice for finding people you've lost contact with. As with all things, Moderation is essential.... (read in full...)
Why don't any girls want me?
Q. Okay, I realise this is a difficult sort of question to answer so I will tell you all the basics about me: I am 17 years old and have never had a girlfriend. This isn't exactly through choice, girls just aren't interested in me. I'm a quiet ki...
A. 21 February 2011: Cerberus is right, there really is no big secret. The biggest step is usually striking up that first conversation.
Every girl is different, and even within a "type" you will find variations in girl's preferences. If you see a girl you want to ... (read in full...)
There must be something I can do...???
Q. dear cupid the guy i liked has ruined his life. hes missing to much school he never got into collage he leaving to do nothing he drinks to much smokes to much does drugs why i have the crush on his because the boy behind all of that is the ...
A. 21 February 2011: That's exactly what I'm saying. AngelDlite nailed it. No matter how much you want to help, he has to want to help himself. About all you can do is report him to the authorities. Perhaps some "tough love" will help him. However, this would ... (read in full...)
Sex is sooooo boring now, how can we spice it up?
Q. Hi there, I have been in a relationship with my partner for over a year now I am 18 and he is 20. We have been sleeping together for eight months of that time. He was my first and when we started having sex i wanted to do it all the time but as t...
A. 21 February 2011: Very glad to help out. One of the best things you can do to help your sex life is be open and honest with each other. Communication like that is important to your relationship as a whole, never forget that. It's the only way you have to really ... (read in full...)
She won't go down on me!
Q. Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My girlfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining she liked giving me oral. At the begining she gave me head ...
A. 20 February 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-personal-bias-and-gender-stereotypes-can-influence.html
I wish you hadn't have busted me out in that other thread OP, but I think you'll appreciate what I was trying to accomplish. If you want an explanat... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 20 February 2011: angelDlite, that's a very good point you bring up about historical inequality. It's sometimes easy to forget in the current atmosphere of equality, or very near equality. You're absolutely correct though. That's something I hadn't really thought ... (read in full...)
The myth of "best friends" of the opposite sex
Q. OK, I know I am going to get a lot of flack for this (assuming anyone read this) but from my experience and observation I believe that a heterosexual man and woman who claim to be "best friends" without any romantic feelings...is a myth. Almost al...
A. 20 February 2011: I agree, well put.... (read in full...)
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
Q. I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
A. 20 February 2011: Thanks for the posts so far.
Cindy, I'm well aware my methodology was far from perfect. Perhaps I should have put some quotes around the word experiment.
Was I trying to show specific inconsistencies in individuals advice? No, that's not w... (read in full...)
There must be something I can do...???
Q. dear cupid the guy i liked has ruined his life. hes missing to much school he never got into collage he leaving to do nothing he drinks to much smokes to much does drugs why i have the crush on his because the boy behind all of that is the ...
A. 19 February 2011: You can't. Life isn't fair. I know it really sucks.... (read in full...)
What does "did you finish" mean?
Q. What does it mean when a guy asks "did you finish" when dry humping? me and my boyfriend were doing this and we got really into it. he later slowed things down and asked if i finished...i had no clue what that meant and i was to embarrassed to ask b...
A. 19 February 2011: That's good. You should still be careful because there is still a difference between 17 and 21 that you won't fully understand till you're that age yourself. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Sex is sooooo boring now, how can we spice it up?
Q. Hi there, I have been in a relationship with my partner for over a year now I am 18 and he is 20. We have been sleeping together for eight months of that time. He was my first and when we started having sex i wanted to do it all the time but as t...
A. 18 February 2011: 1) Lots of things, but it all depends on how willing your partner is. Do you have any fantasies you can explore? Sex should be about you too. Don't forget that. It might add some excitement if he thought he was fulfilling one of your deepest ... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 18 February 2011: It's definitely something to be concerned about, but I do believe people can change if they really want to. People make mistakes, it's how you learn from them that shows your true character.... (read in full...)
There must be something I can do...???
Q. dear cupid the guy i liked has ruined his life. hes missing to much school he never got into collage he leaving to do nothing he drinks to much smokes to much does drugs why i have the crush on his because the boy behind all of that is the ...
A. 18 February 2011: Sometimes the only thing you can do with people you love is let them make their own decisions, good or bad. They have to live their own life. Some people can learn from the mistakes of others, others need to make those mistakes themselves and ... (read in full...)
What does "did you finish" mean?
Q. What does it mean when a guy asks "did you finish" when dry humping? me and my boyfriend were doing this and we got really into it. he later slowed things down and asked if i finished...i had no clue what that meant and i was to embarrassed to ask b...
A. 18 February 2011: 17 and 21 huh? Be careful. That's illegal in most states.... (read in full...)
She won't go down on me!
Q. Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My girlfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining she liked giving me oral. At the begining she gave me head ...
A. 11 February 2011: Here's a thought OP. Have you tried explaining WHY you like her to give you a blowjob? Perhaps if she knew how sexy you find it when she does it, that might change her perception.
Why I love BJ's. A rhyming verse by dirtball.
It's somethin... (read in full...)
She won't go down on me!
Q. Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My girlfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining she liked giving me oral. At the begining she gave me head ...
A. 11 February 2011: CindyCares, I'd agree with you whole heartedly if that's how it had always been. If she never gave him BJ's but he went down on her, yup, that's just who she is, and he has to accept it because he went in knowing that. However, there was a change ... (read in full...)
She won't go down on me!
Q. Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My girlfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining she liked giving me oral. At the begining she gave me head ...
A. 11 February 2011: Chigirl, what you don't seem to be getting is that her refusal to even discuss the issue is the cause of those feelings of neglect. They are very much related.... (read in full...)
She won't go down on me!
Q. Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My girlfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining she liked giving me oral. At the begining she gave me head ...
A. 11 February 2011: You know what's funny to me, and I've seen it plenty of times before on here, a guy like this comes in and gets told that he just has to accept it, that's how she is.
A girl comes in giving the exact same story and she gets told he's lazy, se... (read in full...)
She won't go down on me!
Q. Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My girlfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining she liked giving me oral. At the begining she gave me head ...
A. 11 February 2011: She definitely has a double standard there. If she's insisting on it, then it's only right that she reciprocate more often. Have you tried suggesting a 69? That way you're both getting that oral pleasure at the same time.
Your best bet is to ta... (read in full...)
I like my best friends ex girlfirend.
Q. ok so I like y best friend's ex-girlfriend. I'll explain how it happened: ok so my bestfriend and I used to live in the same town and one time my friend told me he was dating a girl from a nearby town that he met in a church convention. I ne...
A. 24 November 2010: Well, since you're being honest with everyone then follow your heart. Really, the reason her and your friend broke up doesn't matter. They had their chance and it didn't work. It probably wouldn't work if they tried it again either.
If yo... (read in full...)
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