A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He really likes me, but I'm just not that into him.... what do I do?!?In brief, lovely guy, goes to my college and we share some classes, he's funny, charming, really sweet guy, and he recently told me he really really likes me and asked me out...I told him that I'd never really looked at him in that way before (which is true, in the past I'd known him as an ex of an old friend, and he's close friends with my most recent boyfriend - we split on bad grounds 6 months ago and don't speak - and I'd sort of become acquainted with him through said boyfriend) but that he seemed like a lovely guy, and I would like to get to know him better!He took me out on a date, and it was nice, we met up with a group of friends the next day, and we're meeting up again in a few days at a small party...The thing is, he's a nice guy, and we flirt.....but I just don't feel anything. I don't particularly find him attractive and it's not like I feel compelled to kiss him or anything....There's no butterflies there, not on my side anyway. He's so sweet though, and I was hoping he would grow on me in time, but I'm starting to get worried that I don't really feel anything! He texts me all the time, and calls me gorgeous and wonderful, and I know from what he's said that he really really likes me..... and I said that I like him, but I'm now starting to regret that.... what if I don't?I do not want to hurt his feelings, or lead him on. I couldn't do that to him.Anyway, I just got a text where he made a joke and then said 'I'm now sort of going out with this girl I reli like....' (talking about me)And I'm like SHIT....We're going out?!!!Help me!!!! I need some advice :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): You need to be up front with him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): You've been on a date, and have another one planned...so I agree with him,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): you ARE sort of going out. Thats not to say you are committed to a exclusive relationship. You need to be up front with him about that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): Thank you for you help. Yes, I did want to give him a chance, seeing as apart from the lack of chemistry, every else about him is perfect really! I think I'm going to see how things go at the party, but yes, I will tell him how I feel and see how he takes it, I suppose it might just be that things are going too fast for me?
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (21 February 2011):
 I think you should give him a little more of a chance. It's definitely ok to tell him your concerns. It may not be easy for him to hear, but he should know. Sometimes we can't help who we're attracted to. Sometimes that really great person just isn't the one for us. At least you've tried.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (21 February 2011):
Well, if you don't want to hurt him you HAVE to make it clear you don't like him that way. And you are not going out.
Letting him think so will be worst for him in the end.
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A
female
reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (21 February 2011):
 You've been on a date, and have another one planned...so I agree with him, you ARE sort of going out. Thats not to say you are committed to a exclusive relationship. You need to be up front with him about that.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (21 February 2011):
It's simple, you have to tell him straight and put him in the picture of what the situation really is and not what he thinks it is.
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