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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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You know, I think one of my college professors said it best. "The very nice thing about the vagina is that it's adjustable. It's made to accomodate not just the penis, but a baby passing through it. It can s... (read in full...)
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You should not be concerned about how others asked her out. Th... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting about my love interest rejoining the dating website where we met?
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A. 16 February 2011: I don't think you're overreacting. I know you've talked about it, but perhaps you need to talk again. Tell him that you don't want to come between him and his friends and see if he's willing to share his email with these friends so that he's not ... (read in full...)
How can you help someone whose tortured upbringing has damaged them?
Q. my new boyfriend has told me that his upbringing was awful. his dad was a verbally abusive and violent drunk who made his families life hell. this experience has left my boyfriend suffering with depression, inability to have lasting relationships, ...
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How can you help someone whose tortured upbringing has damaged them?
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Why will a man video his sex act with someone he is cheating with?
Q. Emergency question I accidentally came across a movie on my boyfriend's laptop, he was having sex with another another woman from what i saw i won't call it love making. I don't know if my boyfriend intentionally recorded that act but Im sure ...
A. 15 February 2011: Why? Because he's an idiot with no respect for you. Have fun getting all sorts of STD's from this jerk. I recommend you get yourself some self respect!... (read in full...)
We had unprotected sex three times and now she's scared she's pregnant
Q. My girlfriend started dating about 3 weeks ago. We had unprotected sex 3 times within a couple days of when we started dating. She also is not on birth control or anything. Last weekend she asked me to give her space cuz she is scared about being ...
A. 15 February 2011: Well Tuffnutt, a selfish guy who won't wear a condom and causes a young girl a pregnancy scare isn't likely to win any awards in her book. Perhaps you should focus on what you could have done differently, and tell her you're sorry for not using ... (read in full...)
I know he's busy but doesn't he even have time for a brief message?
Q. Hello, Let me try to summarize the whole story really quickly. (for more detail on how things started, read "I want to show him I care without scaring him off". This is a followup.) I met a wonderful man who lives in another country not far...
A. 15 February 2011: Overthinking situations sucks. I'm the same way. I've found that it's usually when you're just about over that edge that you learn something that makes you feel like a complete idiot. Hell, that happened to me yesterday.
My advice would be... (read in full...)
I asked my abusive partner to leave and he won't!
Q. I have been with my partner over a year now , he moved in just a week after we met, the lies had already started..I lent him moneu and never got it back and he lied what he did with it.. drugs actually, i know he loves me but he finds it fun to put ...
A. 15 February 2011: Is his name on the lease? Go to the cops and report him. You can kick him out, but you might want the police there since he has a history of violence. You need to end this relationship. ... (read in full...)
I even got my crush a rose, but she likes this other guy!
Q. can anyone help me with my problem. i'm 14 and i really like this girl and we're really good friends. she knows i like her a lot and knows i got her a valentines rose but she said she won't go out with me because she likes this other guy a lot. she ...
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Am I stupid to feel this way?
Q. I'll keep this simple. My girlfriend of 2 and a half years likes me to send "dirty" pictures of myself to her, or take my clothes off/change in front of her in person. I don't mind doing it, I want to do anything that will make her happy. Bu...
A. 15 February 2011: I don't blame you for feeling that way. Something like that shouldn't be one sided. Have you told her how this makes you feel? You definitely should. Personally, I'd definitely stop with the pictures. Changing around her is one thing, but ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't have enough sex with me, should I leave him?
Q. My boyfriend is a really good man, he loves me and communicates with me, but he just doesn't give me enough sex. He's only 28 and sometimes I'll want it and he'll say he's tired or after a fight I love make up sex but he says he's too mentally ...
A. 15 February 2011: It needs to be addressed because it is the kind of thing that can eventually drive you apart. If you always have to initiate sex, it leaves you wondering why your partner isn't attracted to you anymore, or feeling unappreciated, unloved...
... (read in full...)
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Q. My boyfriend thinks it's a good idea for him to move out. We are both very young (19) and have been together since we were both 16. We've lived together for I'd say a year and a half, maybe even more. We've had issues like this in the past where he ...
A. 15 February 2011: You're welcome. Best of luck, and I think you have a good plan. Sometimes love doesn't go the way we want it to.... (read in full...)
Do girls remember their ex's penis?
Q. Do girls remember the penises of their exes? If they do, do they compare them with their current boyfriends? ...
A. 15 February 2011: Do you remember your ex's bodies? Do you compare them?
Seriously dude, they may compare, but they are more likely to compare important things, like how you treat them.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to move out!
Q. My boyfriend thinks it's a good idea for him to move out. We are both very young (19) and have been together since we were both 16. We've lived together for I'd say a year and a half, maybe even more. We've had issues like this in the past where he ...
A. 14 February 2011: Ok, I didn't realize this move out came with a breakup. Sorry, but that's a bad sign. I would venture he's likely wanting to see if he can date around for a while, but keep you in tow for if things don't work out for him.
Moving out is one thin... (read in full...)
Was a vibrator for Valentine's Day a bad idea to get my man?
Q. so for Valentine's day i couldn't figure out what to get my man. I was talking with a friend a week or so ago and she suggested i get a vibrator to spice things up a bit and give it to him with a dirty note. even though our sex life is great like it ...
A. 14 February 2011: They make Kegal weights? Man, I've been out of the loop for too long!... (read in full...)
So for Valentine's Day my boyfriend got me lube and a dildo, where's the rest of my present?
Q. My Boyfriend got me a dildo and lube for valentine's day and I'm really upset because that is not at all what I wanted. What should I do?...
A. 14 February 2011: Sorry OP, when I read your question the first time I read "that's not all I wanted" not what you actually wrote.
He's not very romantic, is he? You could always give it back to him and tell him to have fun using it. Or thank him for the replacem... (read in full...)
Was a vibrator for Valentine's Day a bad idea to get my man?
Q. so for Valentine's day i couldn't figure out what to get my man. I was talking with a friend a week or so ago and she suggested i get a vibrator to spice things up a bit and give it to him with a dirty note. even though our sex life is great like it ...
A. 14 February 2011: Ask him where it is so you can put on a show for him. That might get him going. It is possible that he took it wrong, so you need to reassure him you were just trying to think of something fun for you two to play with together. It's definitely ... (read in full...)
How do I swallow without upchucking?
Q. Hi all, Okay, here goes, I need advice about a sexual thiing, so I will get to the point! My partner is offended that I don't swallow and says if I loved him I would (it would mean a lot to him) but I just cannot do it, it makes me want to reach...
A. 14 February 2011: Take him as deep as you can before he shoots and just let it go down your throat. That way you won't even taste it.... (read in full...)
So for Valentine's Day my boyfriend got me lube and a dildo, where's the rest of my present?
Q. My Boyfriend got me a dildo and lube for valentine's day and I'm really upset because that is not at all what I wanted. What should I do?...
A. 14 February 2011: Be grateful you got some of what you wanted. Maybe he has a surprise planned for later. Why not be grateful you have someone to spend the holiday with rather than be upset that you didn't get everything on your list? There are plenty of people ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to move out!
Q. My boyfriend thinks it's a good idea for him to move out. We are both very young (19) and have been together since we were both 16. We've lived together for I'd say a year and a half, maybe even more. We've had issues like this in the past where he ...
A. 14 February 2011: It doesn't mean it's over, but it does mean he is feeling like he may have jumped in over his head when you moved in together. It's very natural around your age to want to discover who you really are. That's very difficult when your identities are ... (read in full...)
How do I tell a girl, she's the one for me??
Q. How do I tell a girl that she is the one for me? Anything? Thanks....
A. 14 February 2011: You just tell her. With words and possibly a gift. It all depends, are you already dating, or is this a girl you're thinking you want to date?... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and I was wondering if its wrong to befriend a 12 yr old girl...?
Q. So yesterday I had a "houseconcert" of piano, quite like an exercise for the real concert in 2 weeks. It was organised by my piano teacher. It was at his house. Unlike the usual concerts, it was a warm concert because there were only 9 people ...
A. 14 February 2011: I met a very mature 13 year old once. She was part of a dance troop that performed at a party my friend was hosting. All night most of the guys had their eyes on her. After their performance, some of us went and talked to the dancers, most of ... (read in full...)
Don't want to be a rebound, but want to keep her interested until she's really ready to date again
Q. I met this girl who had just broken up with her bf a month prior from when we started talking. and weve hung out once and had a great time and we flirt and she calls me cute little nicknames like sugerplum, and cutie pie. but i know she hasnt gotten ...
A. 14 February 2011: I've tried that waiting for her to be ready crap, and you know where it kept me? Single. That's because some other guy would swoop right in and they'd hook up.
I suggest you ask her out. Just take things slowly, but then there's no doubt ab... (read in full...)
I made a big mistake when was drunk and now my ex hates me
Q. I was with my girlfriend for a year and a half when she broke up with me out of the blue. We were in college together and I'm pretty sure she left me for another guy although I was never able to catch them together acting anything more than friends. ...
A. 14 February 2011: You can't. Only time and space can do that. Move on dude, this is going no where. Let her be part of your past. You two couldn't communicate as it was, so you have little chance of reconciliation here.... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and I was wondering if its wrong to befriend a 12 yr old girl...?
Q. So yesterday I had a "houseconcert" of piano, quite like an exercise for the real concert in 2 weeks. It was organised by my piano teacher. It was at his house. Unlike the usual concerts, it was a warm concert because there were only 9 people ...
A. 14 February 2011: Looks don't matter, the fact is that she's a child and you're almost an adult. There is a lot of difference that those 5 years make as far as maturity and life experience are concerned.
I would keep things on an acquaintance level until she's ol... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I wait on the other to act first and it's driving us apart! Help!
Q. My boyfriend doesn't put any effort into our relaionship. We really like each other, but we seem to be waiting on the other to act first and it's pulling us apart. He doesn't touch me unless we are alone and that rarely happens. And we have never ...
A. 14 February 2011: Call him and talk to him. Why even consider yourself dating if you can't even talk to each other? That's not right. Communication is the number 1 indicator of a good relationship. You'll never get more comfortable with him unless you start ... (read in full...)
What can I do to prevent razor burn?
Q. Girls only please! My boyfriend and I are planning to have sex for the first time next month. I'm a little nervous, but excited. The only thing knocking my confidence is my shaving. I used shaving foam and new razors, and moisturizer afte...
A. 14 February 2011: Just because you said girls only, I have to pipe in with the guy's side. He'll appreciate the effort, even if it's not perfect. Please don't worry about it too much. He'll be nervous too, so he likely won't even notice.
I'm sure some of the l... (read in full...)
My gaming broad invited me & another lad on our 1ST date WTF?!?!
Q. Ok everybody now this is blowing me away so I need to know if this is normal or if I'm the nut job? Imma a gamin addict and Ive been gamin with a girl that I'll call A. Ok so me and A weve been gamin for a good 18 months. Nobody would ever figure we ...
A. 14 February 2011: Such a colorful post!... (read in full...)
Now he only cuddles if he wants sex!
Q. Hi. I am 29 and have been married to my husband for about 1 1/2 yrs. We have 2 children. We were together for about 1yr before we got married. At first, he was very loving and affectionite. He would always kiss me and cuddle with me. In the last ...
A. 14 February 2011: Councelling may help you. Often the little romantic things fall by the wayside as a couple gets more comfortable together. Were there things you used to do that you no longer do either? I'd be willing to bet there are.
It's very good that you... (read in full...)
What if my boyfriend ignores me on Valentine's Day?
Q. There's obviously a problem in my relationship if I ended up searching...'what if my boyfriend ignores me on Valentine's Day?'. It takes two to tango and this is true for my situation as well. When I started going out with my boyfriend (we've b...
A. 14 February 2011: Have you ever communicated these concerns to him? If you haven't, then you need to. Guys will go on like nothing is wrong until they find out otherwise. He probably has no idea you're upset, even if you think you've "hinted" enough.
Talk ... (read in full...)
Role playing questions
Q. a little while ago, my boyfriend thought that we should start doing the whole role playing in bed thing. it sounds fun and all, but what if it starts to become akward? i also tend to space out, my mind goes blank, and im only paying attention to the ...
A. 14 February 2011: Nothing wrong with getting lost in the throws of pleasure, at least not in my book. It's always good if you don't break character, but if you can't think straight, then just tell him how much you enjoy what he's doing.
I always find it's bet... (read in full...)
My ex is punishing me for breaking up with me!
Q. Here it is valentines day and my exbfs doing everything he can to make mine blue. He broke up with me but's punishing me because I stopped feeling sorry for myself and pushed myself out the dumps. He didn't give a horses butt how I felt that he went ...
A. 14 February 2011: You shouldn't go telling other people. Deal with him directly, preferably in front of his GF. That way she sees what an ass he's being and will question him about it.
If he still doesn't back off, then perhaps talk to his mom, but I've always f... (read in full...)
Is he hanging onto me until someone else comes along? Am I wasting my time?
Q. I’ve been seeing someone since November. He says we are in a relationship but it does not feel like it to me. We live about a 5 minute walk from each other but we only see each other either once or twice a week and its only for a couple of hours. It ...
A. 14 February 2011: If it's not enough for you, then you need to communicate that to him. He'll make the effort if he wants to keep you, but you should at least give him the chance before walking away. 3 months is still a new relationship. It's not uncommon to not ... (read in full...)
Are my standards too high to get a girlfriend?`
Q. Hello all, I'm a seventeen (Virgin) year old boy. I do want a girlfriend but I'm worried that my standards are too high. I don't believe in ANY sexual contact whatsoever, I wouldn't date a female if she had voluntarily given her virginity away o...
A. 14 February 2011: Have fun walking the lonely road of disappointment.... (read in full...)
Shouldn't my girlfriend consult with me first before making plans?
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for about 2 years now. It's a long distance relationship. Everything was going so well until I realized we don't have much to talk about on the phone. It's the same old stories, so our conversations don't last long. A...
A. 14 February 2011: Perhaps, a girlfriend in your area who you can actually be with would be better advised. That way you can make plans together. As it stands, you're in an imaginary relationship. Maybe you can be happy never seeing the one you "love," but most ... (read in full...)
Hundreds of porn sites in one week on his computer!
Q. I posted earlier but cannot find where it went. I couldn't help myself, after seeing just a few porn websites on my boyfriends history, I searched through the rest of his history and there are literally hundreds of porn sites and google searches ...
A. 11 February 2011: Being horny and bored is a combo that will lead to this exact thing.
Normal? Can't say. Understandable? Absolutely.... (read in full...)
She won't go down on me!
Q. Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My girlfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining she liked giving me oral. At the begining she gave me head ...
A. 11 February 2011: Here's a thought OP. Have you tried explaining WHY you like her to give you a blowjob? Perhaps if she knew how sexy you find it when she does it, that might change her perception.
Why I love BJ's. A rhyming verse by dirtball.
It's somethin... (read in full...)
Valentines day... what to buy?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two moths now, and i want to get him something special for valentines day but idk what, can you help me?...
A. 11 February 2011: Ask for help, then shoot down the plethora of ideas you get.
I doubt you even opened that link I gave you.
You know your BF, we don't. You haven't helped us AT ALL with details that might be useful, you just shoot down everything sugge... (read in full...)
She won't go down on me!
Q. Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My girlfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining she liked giving me oral. At the begining she gave me head ...
A. 11 February 2011: CindyCares, I'd agree with you whole heartedly if that's how it had always been. If she never gave him BJ's but he went down on her, yup, that's just who she is, and he has to accept it because he went in knowing that. However, there was a change ... (read in full...)
She won't go down on me!
Q. Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My girlfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining she liked giving me oral. At the begining she gave me head ...
A. 11 February 2011: Chigirl, what you don't seem to be getting is that her refusal to even discuss the issue is the cause of those feelings of neglect. They are very much related.... (read in full...)
She won't go down on me!
Q. Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My girlfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining she liked giving me oral. At the begining she gave me head ...
A. 11 February 2011: You know what's funny to me, and I've seen it plenty of times before on here, a guy like this comes in and gets told that he just has to accept it, that's how she is.
A girl comes in giving the exact same story and she gets told he's lazy, se... (read in full...)
She won't go down on me!
Q. Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My girlfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining she liked giving me oral. At the begining she gave me head ...
A. 11 February 2011: She definitely has a double standard there. If she's insisting on it, then it's only right that she reciprocate more often. Have you tried suggesting a 69? That way you're both getting that oral pleasure at the same time.
Your best bet is to ta... (read in full...)
Valentines day... what to buy?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two moths now, and i want to get him something special for valentines day but idk what, can you help me?...
A. 10 February 2011: Hmm, emo, I thought they loved hair dye, body piercing, and tight cloths... LOL, sorry, I know I'm getting old because I just don't understand that look.
He loves to cook. There you go, good start. What kind of food does he love to cook? D... (read in full...)
Valentines day... what to buy?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two moths now, and i want to get him something special for valentines day but idk what, can you help me?...
A. 10 February 2011: A gift need not be expensive to be good. I'm making my new girlfriend a bouquet of origami flowers for valentine's day. She loves origami, so that's how I came up with the idea. We've been dating for 3 weeks. All told, it cost me 5 dollars for ... (read in full...)
Valentines day... what to buy?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two moths now, and i want to get him something special for valentines day but idk what, can you help me?...
A. 8 February 2011: Please read this for some great ideas: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/valentines-day-gift-ideas.html
... (read in full...)
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