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Facebook Ruined My Life

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Article - (21 February 2011) 14 Comments - (Newest, 28 February 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is it just me or is Facebook a total head-wreck? Personally, I see it as one big popularity contest. I mean it is so pointless. Why not go out and meet your friends for real, instead of giving yourself a headache trying to think of the 'coolest' status, or spend hours taking photo shots of yourself in the mirror. This just highlights the vanity in people! Seriously, I mean think about it, if you’re on Facebook, it shows your bored and have nothing better to do in your life than sit in front of a computer screen snooping through people’s photo albums you don't even know and just make yourself feel even more sad that you have a boring life. See, I deleted my account last week and realised how much more time I had on my hands, it is great! And those 'friends' online will be wondering....

'oh why is she not online anymore, oh yeah because she is out there having a hooly in the real world. I'm so jealous.'

Get out there and life your life for real.

View related questions: facebook, jealous

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (28 February 2011):

Abella agony aunti'm with you on this.

I only joined it for a short period when a friend asked me to. But I found it so boring. Then I started getting friend requests from people I've never heard of. Deleting my page gave me great satisfaction. I would never return to it.

My friends and I phone and meet in person because they are real.

In years to come people will sit around laughing their heads off, 'can you remember when we used to get worked up about that stupid web site? What was it called? FacileBook? Something like that?'

Someone holds their sides laughing.

'yes, that inane web site. People took it so seriously. Like it meant something.'

When really it was just another web site.

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A female reader, Battista United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2011):

I have never experienced any of the negative things you have stated. I never update my status or look through people's photos whom I do not know. If you found yourself doing this and regarded it all as a popularity contest then it probably is best if you deleted your account, especially if you found that you had lots more free time after doing so. I only check it for a couple of minutes a day which wouldn't make much difference if I gave it up. I certainly wouldn't find myself with a lot of new free time.

I have found facebook to be a great way of keeping in touch with friends, especially overseas, or maybe organising an event where you need to be able to communicate with multiple people.

You have obviously had a bad time with FB, but that doesn't make it a head-wreck as you say. It depends how you use and approach it.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (26 February 2011):

chigirl agony auntJust because you have a bad relationship with facebook doesn't mean everyone does. I think facebook is ok, it's not something necessary, but people have grown to depend on it. For example if Im not on facebook I don't get invited to parties or meetings or whatever other activity. Facebook is like one huge billboard. It keeps me updated, and I get in touch with family-members a lot easier this way.

There are a lot of facebook-related issues out there, but I believe those issues were not created by facebook. Such as "my boyfriend doesn't add me as his friend" or whatever. It's an old problem in a modern fashion. Before facebook the issue would sound more like this "why hasn't he introduced me to his friends yet?", or the similar.

But, everyone is free to do what they want. If being off facebook is what you choose, then good for you.

As for the posers, and the popularity contest, I don't experience facebook that way. Guess that depends on who you're adding, and how your act online. I never add people I don't already know, and my contacts are then only real life friends, associates, or family (I have a large extended family). We don't run popularity contest, my family members only check that their children aren't running wild, we talk about weather, and I ask my cousins about school-life etc.

Facebook doesn't have to include drama unless you add the drama yourself.

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A female reader, shna Ireland +, writes (25 February 2011):

shna agony auntFacebook is one of those love hate things , its great because it helps you socialise is some forms make it easier for others to meet an become friends, but iv started to think lately that in many ways it stops you from socialising because your on facebook doing nothing except looking at new feeds when probly about two years ago before bebo and myspace came around i know i use to hang out with my mates alot more during the week days but now its more like i tslk to them online. i also think facebook and other chat room sites have corupted relationships between men and women.... each other are judged by photos status and silly little quizes taken nobody ever randomly meets new people without talking to them or seeing their profile on facebook or other chat room sites ! so many dating sites have even emerged since the rise of facebook making it harder almost for people to meet a new lover without using the internet and it was only a few years ago we were told these sites were dangerous. i sometimes wish facebook wasnt invented because its an everyday thing in my life and i wish it wasnt which is quiet sad really

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A female reader, Ediegoose Canada +, writes (24 February 2011):

I got rid of my face book for good last night.

It wasn't ruining my life as such, just taking up too much time. Like you say, i would much rather waste time actually meeting up with my friends than talking to them on a screen.

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (24 February 2011):

Hi there. It can become addictive for many people, and usually in the absence of more fun things to do.

You are doing the right thing, in getting out and about enjoying your life again.

Surfing the net and spending time on Facebook, can certainly drain your time, that's for sure.

You can always simply call your friends on the telephone and have a live conversation with them. That way, you don't have to wait days for a reply. It's quicker, and as you say, saves you heaps of time.

Even better, after calling them on the telephone, go and see them and actually have some real live fun. Laugh and be happy.

Enjoy your life and have fun. Life is too short.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (23 February 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntI dont think facebook is all that bad. I use it to keep in touch with family and friends that i cannot just go and visit. It keeps a lot of people connected especially if they live really far apart, and it is also a good way to reconnect with old friends. I really dont see the issue. Yes like everything else it has its down sides, people get addicted to it and spend all day on it and some bully people on it. But if you use it now and again to keep in contact with people then i dont see the problem. I guess it is just a matter of opinion.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011):

To me facebook is not that bad because it help me alot, am not so keen about peoples pictures or the dating game. When ever am down i login to fine solace as i don't accept anyhow friends for example think and grow rich and some important friends like the pastors, bishop, evangelis etc really have nice update which are mostly motivational. And for friends which i have lost contact to e.g classmate, course mate etc. So facebook is not a waste of time, though it depend on what and how you use it and view it. Facebook can never ruin my life because of the way i view it.

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (23 February 2011):

angelDlite agony aunthi

facebook is great for some people, they may not WANT to be out in social situations so if it therefore enables them to still have some sort of social life, then i'm all in favour of that.

in recent years people (some people) have become more fame hungry (look at all the 'reality' shows we now have on TV) and i think facebook taps into this desire of the members of the general public who have a bit of the 'look at me' mentality.

different people get different things out of it. it is great for those who have family and friends that live far away, it helps them to stay connected and has made the world a smaller place! which is a beautiful thing.

some people use it as a 'cattle market' to look for dates/sex/partners (unfortunately sometimes when they have a partner already!) and that is the ugly side of facebook, i believe it makes cheating a whole lot easier :( but so do all the internet dating sites that have sprouted in the last few years, that cater for every sort of person and any 'kink' you could possibly wish for.

and don't even get me started on cyber bullying.

but the issue is not facebook, it is the people that use or abuse it. good on you though OP for breaking away from something you don't want to be involved in any more rather than following the crowd :) i don't have an account either, i really don't like the idea of 'certain people' that i know looking at photos of me and knowing what i am doing!

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A female reader, rachel aniston India +, writes (22 February 2011):

rachel aniston agony aunti think the same ,as i no longer am on my fb account i dont access it haha my frnds think that i keep my chat box offline haha.

i like cupid aunt ad look more info about various things on net thats it i think this is the way to be yourself instead of filing your account[trying to be attractive or whatever] info to have someone look into it and fall in love with you or whatever but i hate it

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (21 February 2011):

Odds agony auntLog on for 30 seconds a day to see if there's an event up, or if your cousin in Connecticut is still alive. Check for birthdays if you have a hard time remembering them. Then log off and pick up your phone. Easy enough.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011):

I agree, to a point. It is a bit of a stereotype that people who have Facebook must be boring and have no life or just use it to get attention. That is true is some cases, i personally use it to keep in touch with family and friends i hardly see. I don't tale 100s of pictures of myself nor would i want to.

You do get friend requests from people you don't even know on occasion but i just ignore it. Facebook can be what you want it to be. If you have an annoying friend who changes their status every 5 mins or writes their life story you can change it so you don't see their status updates or photos.

Having Facebook doesn't mean you don't have a life. It's like video games, some people play on them 24/7 and have no social life, others use it for what it's intended for which is just a bit of fun and really shouldn't be taken too seriously.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (21 February 2011):

dirtball agony auntFB isn't all bad, but people who live on it are pathetic. A virtual life is not a life. Most of the time I couldn't be bothered with it, but it is nice for finding people you've lost contact with. As with all things, Moderation is essential.

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A male reader, Myau New Zealand +, writes (21 February 2011):

Myau agony auntUmmmm......I use facebook to keep intouch with my family who live in Ireland, USA and New Zealand (I live in Australia).

Couldnt care less how many friends I have on there.

Ive noticed alot of friend requests from very strange people who Ive never met. I always mail them asking who they are, since I never get a reply, i dont accept

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