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*illywombat agony aunt

*illywombat

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*illywombat's profile:

Felt like changing this, so here goes.

Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.

Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?

Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......

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My 16-year-old son likes to wear bikinis! What can I do?

Q.   I'm a father of two, one 9 year old son and one 16 year old son. Recently I found out that my 16-year-old son likes wearing bikinis. I asked him if it was true, and he admitted it was so. He told me he isn't gay or a cross-dresser, j...

A.   6 May 2006: Can't see a problem with this really then. At 16 he is old enough to take what happens if he choses to go the path of bahviour that isn't deemed *normal*. Stop worrying, he with either toughen up after some name calling and carry on or he will ... (read in full...)

I have scars from my bad skin in the past. How can I get rid of them?

Q.   Hi I have had bad skin in the past and now im left with the scars!! I was wonderin if anyone knew how to get rid of the remains of my childhood??Anyone know... any help would be great!!...

A.   4 May 2006: If in the UK your GP would be a good first pace to start. Ask them what they would reccommend. Then take it from there.... (read in full...)

He wants his ex back, but I like him. Should I go for it?

Q.   I really like this guy, but he is still totally hung up over his ex and he is after getting back with her. Do i make a move or wait?...

A.   4 May 2006: If you make a move now and he says yes YOU will always be hung up thinking he is only with you because he cannot have her. Why would you want to do that to yourself? If you stand back and let him get this thing with his ex out of his system and ... (read in full...)

Is he using me or is he genuine?

Q.   Hey there..im 17.i have been seein this guy for about 2 weeks now. before i got with him, he 'apparantly' had a bet with his mates that he could have me, but he denies this... He has a reputation of a player, but i find that he is really sweet an...

A.   4 May 2006: Slow down. First he is going away fro a couple of months soon, and when he is on holiday he may not stay faithful. Secondly - go with your gut instinct and don't listen to *tittle-tattle*.... (read in full...)

Should I carry on faking it??

Q.   I am in a loving relationship with a fantastic man, we have regular sex and i always fake my orgasm. I really enjoy the sex and dont feel bored that i have to put on my show but iv never had an orgasm, maybe a very slight one on my own but i know n...

A.   4 May 2006: By faking it you are doing yourself a diservice. Stop the faking and start telling him what really turns you on.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend got a pig and now I'm being ignored!

Q.   Hi, I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 28. Recently he got a new pet pig, and has become obsessed with him, spending all his free time with the pig, taking him out on rides, and playing with him. I feel upset; he seems to be ignoring me, and our relat...

A.   4 May 2006: Get some tomato sauce and bread. Get the grill turned on and start making bacon butties for everyone.... (read in full...)

My 16-year-old son likes to wear bikinis! What can I do?

Q.   I'm a father of two, one 9 year old son and one 16 year old son. Recently I found out that my 16-year-old son likes wearing bikinis. I asked him if it was true, and he admitted it was so. He told me he isn't gay or a cross-dresser, j...

A.   4 May 2006: Ok. If you want this question answered seriously (and I have a gut feeling this is yet another hoax - bearing in mind something v.similar has been posted before) then tell us HOW you found out he likes wearing bikini's. ... (read in full...)

How do you know when enough is enough, Need advice??

Q.   How do you know when a relationship is worth saving? When you've both never been so in love or thought there was someone so perfect, but you somehow, despite good intentions, manage to keep hurting each other, how do you know when to just give it ...

A.   3 May 2006: I think if you are in a vicious cycle of hurt then peace hurt then peace, you need to break that cycle pretty quickly. If you cannot do this on your own (ie.together) then enlist a professional helper, a relationship counseller or somebody similar. ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend asked odd question, How do I respond??

Q.   "What would you do for me?"My boyfriend just asked me this question and it stumped me.So much so that I couldn't answer the question.Like how people say,"I'd die for you."That's what he meant.What does this mean and most important,how do I ...

A.   3 May 2006: This is one time I would RECOMMEND you answer a question with a question!! Turn the tables and say, "NO, what would YOU do FOR ME!" If he won't answer then ask him how he can expect you to answer something he finds difficult as well!... (read in full...)

I'm not sure how to tell my parents that I'm expecting a child, I'm still their baby...

Q.   I am a 21 year old female and my partner is 26 and we have just found out that i am expecting our child. I was scared at first but soon came around, we are both madly in love with eachother and we both know that we will always be together but i ...

A.   3 May 2006: Congratulations!! You need to bite the bullet and tell them.. ...are you serious about each other? Then take your parents out for a meal. Say to them that you are very happy (prepare the ground first!) and you have some very happy news to give... (read in full...)

She is more attractive 'mentally' than physically, am I a horrible person??

Q.   Hi there, I want to ask this, because its going through my mind right now, there's this girl im going out with, shes like my best friend (1 of them), im attracted to her alot more mentally than physically, don't get me wrong i love her to bits but...

A.   3 May 2006: Are you more worried about what ohters will think if they see you with a larger than average lady or is this just about you? Think carefully before answering?!?!... (read in full...)

Will my ex want to hear from me?

Q.   i don't know what to do, i broke up with my ex nearly 9 months ago and since him i've come across some really nice guys but i just don't fancy them. i'm still totally hung over my ex. my ex was my best friend aswel, but my friends have told me to ...

A.   3 May 2006: You cannot read this guys mind, but a lot depends on why you two broke up in the first place. Who instigated the breakup? You or him. Then take it from there, drop him a note or send a text. ... (read in full...)

Boyfriends parent disaprove of me, How can I change their thoughts??

Q.   the parents to my boyfriend hate me coz they believe am not good enough for their son.help...

A.   3 May 2006: Honey I have been with my hubby for 8 years and have a child. His mother STILL does not like me (for no reason other than I don't put up with her drama queen behaviour!) There is nothing on this earth that you can do to change the way they feel ... (read in full...)

Feel like new man is controlling me, What should I do??

Q.   I have just turned forty and met the most amazing man. My daughter, family, friends and work mates all think he's wonderful. The problem is I feel smothered by him although he lets me do as I wish. He wants to spend 24/7 with me. What is wrong ...

A.   3 May 2006: I dont think you have told this guy you need your space !! I think the only thing missing here is some communication. Tell him you like him (if it is true) then tell him that although you like him you need some space to be without him. Tell him ... (read in full...)

What do you do if you have a friend who's very depressed?

Q.   My friend has suffered with depression for years, and he tends to lean on me a lot because I have been through a similar experience. Sometimes he talks about not wanting to go on anymore. He's on the waiting list for counselling, and medication is ...

A.   3 May 2006: Do not allow this friends needs to outweigh your own. You must keep yourself mentally strong and not allow your own thoughts and moods to be dragged down by this person. Occassionally you must back away and have some me time and not take all his ... (read in full...)

Worried about working life, How will I cope??

Q.   Hello there, Im nearing 16 and finishing school this month. However, Im am very much still undecided as what I wish to do with my life, yet we have had to choose A-Levels and talk of University is already arising and all my friends know what they ...

A.   3 May 2006: Lets address one issue at a time. You and your Mum fighting. Is your Mum still grieving for your Dad, she may not show it but she might be finding it hard to be both parents to you. Parenting is hard enough when there are two parents around neve... (read in full...)

He's getting texts at weird times and I think he's lying to me. Am I right?

Q.   i really need some unbiased advice. im 29, married (hubby 50). the thing is, hubby does occasions mechanical work on vehicles, purely an occasional sideline., there is a woman, around my age, that became a customer last year, but over the past month ...

A.   3 May 2006: Unless he will show you the texts at the second he recieves them and show you them first to prove they are not from anybody else, go with your gut instinct on this one. If this was my guy I wouldn't be sitting around letting this happen. I woul... (read in full...)

Im so depressed and stressed in this life, How can I lift my spirits??

Q.   i don't know what to do. i am 22 years old and living with my boyfriend who is 29. i live at his house but his mother lives here also who is older and is a very negative person. we have been together for two years. when i first started talking to ...

A.   2 May 2006: You need to start standing up fro yourself. Make this loser go fro counselling. make him get a job by giving him an ultimatum. And as for his Mum, if you are living in her home you need to go with the flow or get out and get your own place! Y... (read in full...)

Is there a chance we'll get back together or should I let it go.. ?

Q.   My fiancee and I just broke up about a month ago, he already has a new girlfriend and she's pregnant. Not with his kid but her ex husband's kid. He and I are still really close and we still talk and hang out together along with his new girlfriend. ...

A.   2 May 2006: You only split up a month ago and yet you are friends with his new GF? AND not only that he is with a woman who is pregnant by her ex.....all a little complicated don't you think? I wouldn't want a man back who is that fickle. Transferring his ... (read in full...)

I want to be with just him, but he likes having many partners...

Q.   I really really like this guy. I've never really like anyone as a partner so much. The thing is, I've seen him through webcam. We've talked for over a year. But we know each other through the internet! And live in opposite parts of the world. ...

A.   2 May 2006: Unless you or him are prepared to move to the other's country this *relationship* is never going to be more than a friendship. You cannot possibly expect fidelity from somebody you ahve never even met. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but the ... (read in full...)

My son strips to his underwear during school and activities, what's his problem?

Q.   My son is 15 years old and has a problem. I found out about it at school just last week when I received a phone call off the principal saying that my son keeps stripping to his briefs all the time in school no matter where he is. He did it in P...

A.   2 May 2006: This question ahs been posted before and it is a load of codswallop. I think this is the 3rd or forth time it has been posted and last time it was by the *concerned Dad*. If anybody else wants to have a go at answering it then go ahead but I can ... (read in full...)

He's married, but I MUST tell him how I feel... HELP!

Q.   Hi everyone, I am one of the agony aunts and I do hope that I have managed to be of some help to those I have responded to, if not or if so, I am happy to receive criticism or thanks. But I do have a question, I know what advice I would give "me...

A.   2 May 2006: It is easy for us to sit here and judge you on the fact you are *in love* with a married man. But I strongly believe you are playing with fire if you tell him. Why voluntarily put yourself in a situation where the chances are you are gonna get ... (read in full...)

How do I leave my husband for someone else without hurting him?

Q.   hi i am married with 3 children but i do want to leave my husband as i dont love him any more i know this as i get all this feelings about someone else but what should i do as i know this will really hurt him . ...

A.   2 May 2006: I think in your heart of hearts you know what you need to do honey. I think you need to get your life back and you need to be free of this controlling individual. I also believe that you probably have feelings for this other guy as a sort of ... (read in full...)

My husband does not give me enough attention and now I'm feeling attracted to others!

Q.   I have been married for 6 years and the romance is gone. I constantly tell him that I need more attention, but he is not responding to my needs. I feel that he is interested only in sex and I am getting tired of this. I ask him to take me out, but ...

A.   2 May 2006: If hubby isn't responding to what you want and it sounds like you are leading by example, then just book the meal out or arrange the night out. If he still doesnt respond then book relationship counselling. Then if he still doesn't respond ask ... (read in full...)

How can I possibly get over him?

Q.   Hi all, Basically I broke up with my ex about 4months ago. I lived with him and I have to say it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to get over. We broke up on bad terms, basically didn't trust him and the relationship broke down,...

A.   2 May 2006: This guy is doing the *having his cake and eating it thing*. He has all the fun of a new romance and also the stability of the *old* relationship with you to fall back on. Do you wish to continue to be a doormat and allow him to treat you like ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend started lying to me and now we argue alot...what should I do?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been arguing alot lately, and he has started to lie to me about things. I love him loads but I don't know what to do anymore, I want to scared him by finishing it - thinking that he will come back to me, but I don't think it ...

A.   2 May 2006: Funnily enough a few of us had a converstaion about this the other night. Basically some of the men in the group say they tell *little white lies* as a reflex mechanism, in order to stop further probing questions by their better half!! My hubby ... (read in full...)

Depressed over losing my guy again!!

Q.   I am 13. I had a guy who is 16 in my life until 4 months ago. People at school harrassed him for seeing me because of the age difference so he asked me for a break. Last week he came back into my life only to walk away again. He told me he regretted ...

A.   2 May 2006: Whoa slow down sweetie. You are 13 years of age and you are riccocheting from one boy to the next. How about you take a little time out and concentrate on your schoolwork for a bit hey? Also if this guy isn't willing to stand up to his friends ... (read in full...)

Hes emailing female escorts, what do I do??

Q.   My boyfriend and i have been going out nearly 4 years last christmas he cheated on me. Since then we have got back together but he says he wants to be with me and other times hes not sure. I have checked his phone bill and found nothing but hes been ...

A.   2 May 2006: This guy has already proved himself to be unreliable as he has been unfaithful once to you knowledge already. He wants to be with you then he doesn't...if you want my honest opinion I think he reamins with you until something he considers *better* ... (read in full...)

I've been told I should be a model. What do you think?

Q.   Hiya This is probably the wrong forum... but... I'm 13 years old and 5 ft 6. I'm a dress size 8-10 and have size 7 feet. I recently was a bridesmaid at a wedding, and since the wedding photos were published loads of people have told me I should...

A.   2 May 2006: Unless you shoot up another 3 inches you are not going to make it as a runway/fashion model. Very few girls are thin or tall enough for this. With your figure and being so busty the options open for you at present would be glamour work and to be h... (read in full...)

How do I leave my husband for someone else without hurting him?

Q.   hi i am married with 3 children but i do want to leave my husband as i dont love him any more i know this as i get all this feelings about someone else but what should i do as i know this will really hurt him . ...

A.   2 May 2006: Hiya honey Are you absolutely sure your marriage is over and that there is no way that it can be ressurrected? Tell your hubby how you feel. Do not go into details about this other person you have feelings for. Then put the wheels in motion f... (read in full...)

Can you fall in love over the net?

Q.   I am currently involved in an online/long distance relationship. Can you fall in love over the net? Is it expecting too much for me to want him to restrain from chatting to other women, especially ex's or girls who he had a previous interest in?? ...

A.   2 May 2006: I do not believe you can fall in love over the net any more than you can fall in love at first sight. You may feel a strong attraction/lust/liking for an individual, but until you KNOW them and you have met (love is not JUST about a connection of ... (read in full...)

Feel guilty about my collegues crush, Whats the best option??

Q.   OK, so i am a married man, and work in a small shop with four other employees. Recently everyones has been meeting up outside work, and although we are good friends, i feel that i am missing out. One lady in particular i have a really good bond...

A.   2 May 2006: This is an accident just waiting to happen. If you continue down this route of *friendship* with this woman sooner or later things will go too far.....she won't stop you and you ahve already admitted that you wnat to but your morals wont let you. ... (read in full...)

Would like a separate life from boyfriend, What should I do?

Q.   I lived with my boyfriend and he threw me out of his house, entirely devastating me. He said he couldn't handle being with me. I can never forgive him for what he did but we do still see each other. I have ended up living some where I don't want to ...

A.   2 May 2006: You need to develop things away from him a little then this will increase your self confidence and self esteem, as it sounds as if you have little of either. Why do you feel the need to change yourself? Have you thought that maybe he needs to chan... (read in full...)

I have a dream about my exboyfriend, what does this mean?

Q.   Well...I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend who broke up with me like in january. I Still like him but he likes another girl. Anyways, In my dream we still knew about our breakup and we were flirting and stuff. We really liked each other in the dream ...

A.   1 May 2006: Sounds like it is just your subconcious going over unfinished business. Don't worry honey, from the answers on here you can safely say you are NOT going nuts, it seems to be quite a common occurence!... (read in full...)

My boyfriend seems to be very immature, what should I do about him?

Q.   I am really fed up with my boyfriend and with his attitude toward women and relationships. He does so many insensitive things and whenever I call him on something, I get one of two answers: 1)I am a guy. All guys do this, 2) You are insecure. We are ...

A.   1 May 2006: He doesn't only sound young chronologically but also mentally and emotionally too! I feel for you honey cos he sounds like a bit of a jerk to tell the truth. Read back over you letter and what you wriiten and decide if you really WANT to be with... (read in full...)

I was drunk and only have had sex once. It hurt but only for a second, I need advice...

Q.   I've only ever 'had sex' once and i regretted it from start to finish. all my friends was saying things like" least your not the only virgin now!" but truth is how do i put this....i don't know if he broke me in or no...i was very very drunk and ...

A.   1 May 2006: If his penis entered your vagina then technically you are not a virgin. Please don't be upset about this, just make sure next time you make love it is not under the influence and is with somebody you love. If you didn't *make love* then you have ... (read in full...)

My mom told my dad that I'm not a virgin!

Q.   My mom just told my dad that I'm not a virgin anymore. How can I talk to my dad about this? He's going to be fuming and I'm already angry at my mom for doing this without consulting me because if anything I should have been the one who told him ...

A.   1 May 2006: How old are you honey? How is your Dad reacting to this news? look stop stressing about it. It is good that you have parents who communicate - never mind who are still together! Your dad will probably be a little sad because his baby girl is g... (read in full...)

I'm wanting my belly button pierced, can anyone give me some advice?

Q.   Hi there. This is a question for all the females out there who have had their belly button pierced! I'm a teenager at 15 years of age. I will be 16 in july, and on my 16th birthday, I am wanting to get my belly button pierced. I am aware that at...

A.   1 May 2006: I made the very stupid mistake of not having my navel pierced with gold, they used surgical steel. Bearing in mind the only metal I can wear in my ears is gold why did I think that my navel would be any different? DUR!! Mkae sure you go to a repu... (read in full...)

Is it posssible to subconsciously try to get pregnant?

Q.   Iv been with my boyfriend for 8months,we'r both in our mid-late 20's so age not an issue, and we often end up having unprotected sex. The first time it happened I was quiet drunk but told him the next morning that we had to use condoms from now on, ...

A.   1 May 2006: A lot of people do this sweetie. Making the decision to have a child is an absolutely huge one and not one that a lot of individuals find easy to plan for. Forgetting like this can often take the planning stage out of your hands, *nature* beats ... (read in full...)

I'm a virgin but want to have sex with my boyfriend, I'm scared of the pain.

Q.   Hi I am a 20 year old virgin... I can get almost any guy but the problem is that I'm scared of the pain. My boyfriend and I try having sex a lot but it seems like he's killing me down there and it hurts... Should I take some medicine b4? I need some ...

A.   1 May 2006: Can you insert tampons or a finger into your vagina? Then the chances are this will not hurt. It may be uncomfortable at first but very ofetn the hymen is not intact at you age anyhow, horseriding, biking etc can often lead to a partial/complete ... (read in full...)

I told my friend about my feelings for her and now things are not the same!

Q.   I recently told a female friend that i liked her and have some feelings, but only mentioned this because she was pressuring me into telling her, she made out that she knew what i was going to say so i told her because of this. She said it wouldnt ...

A.   1 May 2006: this girl has played you and then got cold feet about it. I think you are right to recognise that she will never behave in the same *friendly* way again. The fact she avoids you in social situations and doesn't beahve in the way she did before ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend watches other women...what can we do to fix this problem?

Q.   my boyfriend has a problem with watchin other women and we both think that he needs help,so what can we do to get rid of his obsession of watching other women?...

A.   1 May 2006: I would like to know how he does this and exactly what you mean by watches other women. Do you mean when you are out as a couple or do you mean porn or on the TV? Please reply and fill us in further. xx... (read in full...)

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