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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am in a loving relationship with a fantastic man, we have regular sex and i always fake my orgasm. I really enjoy the sex and dont feel bored that i have to put on my show but iv never had an orgasm, maybe a very slight one on my own but i know not all women have them and i still really enjoy the sex with my bf. He's also the only person iv slept with but iv no problem trying new positions or going for different lenghts of time at different times of the day in different places so its not a case of relaxing more or experimenting as we'v no problems there. My bf says he loves to see me come so is it ok in this instance to keep faking?I dont expect to have a real O and he feels good thinkin i had one and id feel bad not giving him that, so is there any need for me to stop,what he doesnt know........
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2006): i went thru the same thing not so long ago. look up kegal excersizes on the internet. its an excerisise that you do with you vagina. you tighten it as if you were holding your urine and then let loose. you repeat this for about 5 minutes 3-4 times a day and you'll start to notice your vagina tightning in time. this will help or cause you have an orgasm or to better say it "intense orgasms" you'll be so tight that your vagina will be feeling all the pleasure of every inch of his penis. also you dont want to be worried or focused on having an orgasm when having sex. this will only turn you off and you wont be able to achieve one. sometimes your just not in the mood for sex and not know it and you have other things on your mind that dont let you enjoy sex or not make you feel anything. fantasize and think of how good it feels when you are in the mood. just let if flow and enjoy. you might want to look up some information on female orgasms. i've read alot of information on that and it has helped me with that problem. hope this helps.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2006): Thanks for your answers, thanks dr.pete,great to have the male prospective on this one, i know id be mad if he lied about something big (although i do encourage white lies even from him as people can be too honest sometimes) iv been faking it for 6 months, its not his fault so dont know if id be causing undue hurt by saying anything, i can barely get a split second mini orgasm by myself so its a bit unfair expecting him to really get me going?
ill ask him can we experiment more and see what i feel and re-evaluate my situation after that.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (4 May 2006):
 By faking it you are doing yourself a diservice. Stop the faking and start telling him what really turns you on.
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (4 May 2006):
 You said: so is there any need for me to stop,what he doesnt know........No my dear, I believe that honesty is the ONLY policy. Whats the point in faking it? If you love him, the intimacy is great and you are happy, if you dont have an O, then why should you pretend? Lies are not nice. Just be yourself. Orgasms perhaps dont happen to everyone, so stop faking and just enjoy what you have xXx
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (4 May 2006):
 Lots of women have problems with orgasms through sex so you are not alone! A good sex life is an important part of your relationship, and you sound like you have a good relationship with your man. I appreciate you are being sensitive to his feelings and perhaps don't wish to criticise his sexual abilities. However, one way to not have to fake orgasms but also not worry about your BFs feelings might be to experiment with lots of different techniques and positions (as you sound like you have been trying) but also concentrate on foreplay etc as some women take a while to get warmed up. If you have managed to achieve orgasm by yourself, then perhaps you need to convey this technique to your man.
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A
female
reader, miss nash +, writes (4 May 2006):
girlfriend .... the only cool way to live this life is to be you...you can fake it all you like but when it comes down to your heart only you will feel miserable....
so be yourself....you will shine a lot more that way and that man of yours will love you more...trust me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2006): How would you feel if your boyfriend was faking something?
Depends on how long you have been faking it to be honest.
You could tell a white lie and say you sometimes fake it, it sounds like you have a good sex life and if you tell him this, maybe he'll help you have a real one.
Men are preoccupied with feeling like they have satisfied a girl by giving her an orgasm, and it's a shame so many women feel like it's easier to just lie to their partners and fake it.
Would you say you have any negative feelings about your body or sex? This could be a reason why you're not orgasming.
I would be pretty pissed off if I knew a girl was faking it, that's why I've always avoided one night stands and spoken about sex a lot with girlfriends. I've had two long term relationships and both girls admitted to never having had an orgasm and I told them both to never "fake" it because they don't need to lie to me and to just act how they feel. Sometimes they orgasmed, sometimes they didn't. It did take a while in to the relationship before they happened though.
Perhaps all you need is time too?
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