A
female
age
30-35,
*olilolipop
writes:so i'm just going to start with my question. few weeks ago, a new guy in my class began to send me messages. i wasn't interested i'm not even now. but anyways i talked to him. he told me he likes me and so on. because he wanted to meet with me so i said he can come to my house for sleepover or something like that. first i thought there's gonna be more friends. but in the end we stayed alone. ofcourse we tried to have sex. but problem is i'm still a f***ing virgin so we somehow couldn't make it like we both wanted. we weren't sober. i still don't love him or anything.i just thought that maybe that night i could finaly step into "sexworld" so i let it.like with some other boys before..i don't feel even buterflies he's just cute..anyways he sends me messages like i'm the one he likes, he also kisses me in school etc. he write me lovepoems he make by himself..i don't tell him i love him or anything i just smile..but i feel so stupid.why i didn't think before. yesterday other friend(girl) told me that he said to her and some other frined that he don't know what to do.that he just want a chick he could normally f*** and not a virgin. only thing that i am afraid of is that he has told to other boys too and that everyone will look at me now like i'm a poorvirgin and that everyone on school will get to know that.and that it will look like i totally like him but i don't.he was also the one who wanted us to kiss in school.first i didn't want..but later i din't care.we're not serious anyways..i'm just so afraid that everyoneone will get to know.or that they already know..i don't know how to act then...i so don't want others to think strange about me...do you have any advice what to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lolilolipop +, writes (19 November 2010):
lolilolipop is verified as being by the original poster of the question thankyou girls !
i won't care if others know or what they think.anymore.anyways thanx for time you take to answear me :)
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Hey sister, I was the "virgin" until 19 when I lost it with the guy who I felt like deserved it and who I really wanted to lose it to. Then, 4 years later I married him. Good taste, listening to your gut and patience PAYS OFF. And believe me, being the "elusive virgin" before that wasn't so bad. I was never short on boyfriends who were always cute, sweet, loyal and really liked me. Not like some of the dirt bags my friends were dating, who would sleep with them and ditch them the week after. Being a virgin is something that you should be proud of! It makes you smart, it makes you powerful and helps you weed out the creepers/jerks.
Also yes, that story about the drunken "incident" is a lot more embarrassing to him than it is to you. He had a willing virgin in his bed, and he couldn't make it happen. If he tries to give you crap, you've got some to dish right back. Thank him for not being able to make it happen because THANK THE LORD you didn't give him your virginity.
It's not crucial you do it now. You will pretty much be doing it the rest of your life. So skip on this kind of guy - who you barely even like (there are more cute guys out there). Go for quality, sweet thing! Don't lose your virginity just for a social boost. Develop a friendship, a relationship and then really enjoy watching the chemistry explode. Also, make sure you're having safe sex. "Poor Virgin" is a lot better than "Poor Pregnant Teen", or "Poor STI Girl". Just saying... it's important to protect your health and your future. It's all you've got! Good luck, sweet thing.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Heh, well, here's the thing. You're worried he'll tell your friends that you had a failed attempt at having sex?
Do you realize that HE'LL get the shit storm on that one if he tells that story? His buddies will tease him mercilessly for not being able to do it.
You, on the other hand, what's so wrong about being a virgin? It's a better thing to be known as instead of a loose woman! Why are you wanting to have meaningless sex with someone you don't care about? What's the point of that except to put you at risk for STD's/pregnancy?
Ignore him and try to forget the whole drunken fumbling. In fact, count yourself fortunate that you weren't able to complete a stupid mistake. Be patient. You won't be a virgin forever. Just don't be careless.
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A
female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Theres only one thing i want to share with you. Being a virgin is a thing you can be very proud of. It only show that you are not just an easy girl out from some corner of the street. You can always put your eyebrow high and be very proud of your self... believe us here...
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Hon, he said it himself he wants an easy f**** and you shouldn't be ashamed of being a virgin. Better that than to be the easy girl who sleeps with anything! He doesn't give you butterflies...why do you want to just give your virginity to a boy who doesn't really care? I wish you'd wait for that boy who touches your heart, whose eyes make you feel breathless, and who can start butterflies without even trying. When you look back on your first lover, don't you want to remember a sweet guy (a boyfriend!) who made you laugh like crazy or had a sweet habit like holding your hand? I know it's tough being "the virgin" in a group with sexual experience-but, it's not that big of a deal. Their bussiness is their bussiness and yours is yours.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 November 2010):
 First of all, I don't think virginity is a thing you have KNOCK out with the first available guy.
So WHAT if you are known as a virgin? Honestly, at your age I think it's a good thing.
Be yourself. Virgin or not. Whether you have had sex or not really doesn't change who you are.
Now if you are smart, you wait til you find a guy you really like and who likes you back. You TAKE the time to get to know him and then you can share the experience of sex together.
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A
female
reader, ehuplass  +, writes (19 November 2010):
hold your head up high girl.....men DO NOT like easy girls....men love a chase.would you rather be known as easy? surely not.Yes the girls who have sex may appear popular ...but believe me hun there popular for one thing...respect yourself and men will do the same .....Im betting most of these girls secretly respect u and even envy you.Be smart yr virginity is a very special thing...and should only be given to a extraspecial boy!!!
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A
female
reader, romany +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Hon, I can assure you, that being known as an easy shag, is alot worse than being known as the virgin, you'll end up attracting loads of horrible boys, all wanting that girl that f**ks, and none of them caring about you as a person.
By all means, go out, have a laugh, kiss the boys, but never be ashamed that you have self respect and are not prepared to give any loser who you dont really care about your virginity.
I do know what your going through, I was the only virgin out of all my friends, when i left school, and my friends teased me, and sometimes I felt like you, I even got myself so drunk at 15, and tried to throw it away, but it didn't happen, probably same reason as you failed, and I was glad, coz 4 months after, i met someone who gave me butterflies, and the fact I was a virgin, made me different from all the other girls he'd met.
Your a virgin, I think thats great, so should you. Dont put yourself about, have self respect and those around you will respect you to. Even if they tease you, they will respect your decision to wait for the one who gives you butterflies.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): okay, so you're the type of person (judging by your question) that isn't looking for love but wants to have sex to have the experience. There is obviously nothing i can do to change that but if you don't even trust this guy not to be a dirty immature gossip whether you feel you need to love the guy or not don't you want someone a bit better than him?
also i wouldn't worry about being a virgin, i don't know what the culture is like in your area or country to do with the cultural age of loosing your virginity however i know someone who is 20 and is still a virgin. don't be needy because although guys are so bad at reading signals they can tell when a girl is needy and it just makes them more controlling and dominant rather than kind and caring.
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A
female
reader, lolilolipop +, writes (19 November 2010):
lolilolipop is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea...but its just that feeling when people stare at you and u don't know what they think.how to be confident when u know people, who would be better if they didn't, know things about you...i'm just afraid of it and i don't want to look like poorchild or something....
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): what's the shame in being a virgin, isn't that a good thing when you're young?
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