A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone! I just wana ask the girls,do you love your bf beacause he has money or educated or do you love him from the bottom of your heart? I have a bf, his not educated he only have matric(grade 12) and he doesn't want to go to school forever, but we love each other so much,i have never been loved like this, we have been together for 2months,but my problem is that his not educated. Thanks for any advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): Gabrielle Stoker has mentioned some vital and interesting points.
You ask if money is important, whether education is important, that you two are really in-love (2 months is such early days)and does it really matter, can/should you just love a guy from the bottom of your heart.
Well, yes and no is the answer. Yes of course we should always love people for who they are, not what they are, or their IQ.
But research, and yes I have to research statistics for men and women pairing up long term, and the factors which over extended periods of time, that do make a huge difference to the longevity of a relationship - whether if a couple go on to marry how their similarities in certain areas can be make or break areas.
Education is one of them, family background is another, and having similar values and aspirations for life are TOP of the factors for couples getting through bad patches in long term relationships.
If you have come from a family who has always been keen of educating themselves to a certain level, that their values on life have been passed on to you, that you are aspirational with regards to a career and achieving personally..which of course financial rewards and security go hand in with that, and you find yourself in a long term relationship with a guy that is completely opposite to that way of thinking, makes for a tough and often incompatible union. Being in love, first flushes will not reveal any of your differences, as this is the honeymoon period, it's only when real life kicks in that these things can become a real hurdle.
Its really early days, so just ENJOY the euphoria of being in love, take each day as it comes, and let things flow, you will find out all you need to know soon enough!
Being in love is wonderful..I'm delighted for you :-)
Jilly
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 Two months is a little early...
Anyhow, while education and intelligence are not always related variables, it's important that a man want to do something with his life - even if 'something' is just wanting to provide a home for his family. Education generally helps a person to get to his goals. Even if education is deficient, skill and intelligence need not be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): Your love is the only thing that matters here. You're in love, that's the end... no take- sies back- sies because he doesn't have the level of education you'd like! :)
What about furthering his education is it that you support? Would you prefer that he sound more intellectual when you two are conversing? Or is it mainly about him making more money? I understand dependability being an attractive feature in a man you are serious about a future with, but his income should have nothing to do with your feelings for him. Love is not bought and sold, and a guy's worth is not measured by his bank account. AT ALL.
If he does not wish for an education at the moment, you could try and convince him, but ultimately it is a personal choice and completely his to make. Be supportive of his feelings and accepting of his choices. He knows what's right for him, how he wants to plan his own life, what his own goals and vision are for the future.
-Tante Victoire
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (3 December 2010):
 *too old (I am the worst at proofreading). The whole thing is probably littered with mistakes, but that one was killing me.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (3 December 2010):
I admit, I do value a guy who is assertive in gaining intelligence. Now, maybe that means mastering a skill that isn't necessarily a craft a school can teach you. For instance, I hugely admire and respect my Dad, who is a absolute crazy musician. He is regarded as a master by others in his field, and didn't get a formal education beyond 12th grade. He mastered his instruments by honing his passion and working hard to learn. He is kind of intense. He constantly studies this self built talent.
If he has passions and ambitions in life, go with your heart. Does he work? Is he smart in other ways? It's not wrong for you to want a guy who intellectually challenges you and makes you think.
Remember, he's not to old to continue learning beyond school if school just isn't his cup of tea. Good luck!
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