A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This isn't anything serious - I saw a question yesterday and it got me thinking. I hate snogging (as in kissing with tongues.)I've been with my boyfriend for a while now (just over a year) and when we first started dating that's how we used to kiss but I told him that I didn't like it but made sure he knew it wasn't because of him. I don't know what it is really, but when I was with my ex, I'd been drinking and felt really sick and he started to kiss me and when we was kissing he shoved his tongue to the back of my throat and after I felt even worse and ended up throwing up. My boyfriend says I'm really good at kissing but is it normal to be in a relationship and not use tongues? I don't mind doing anything else with him and we are open with each other its just snogging which I don't like.
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male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (20 December 2010):
 I was engaged to a girl that loved to kiss, but hated tongue. I spent three years with her, deeply and mutually in love, but didn't french kiss. I still knew she loved me and didn't really mind that she was uncomfortable with that.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (20 December 2010):
 Sure it's normal!! I went through a 6 year stage of the same thing (too many bad kissers can make you go on strike), until I met a guy who knew what he was doing. Now the tongue is welcomed back, but only by those who know how to use it!!
You can have plenty of fun kissing without the tongue. As long as you're happy and he's happy, there's no problem! Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Sex_counsellor +, writes (20 December 2010):
 I wouldn't worry about it if I was you. Everyone has preferences when it comes to kissing. Just do whatever you and your boyfriend are comfortable with.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 December 2010):
 Very interesting.
I guess it's a cultural thing.
Not only in France but in Italy too kisses are French :).
Never met anybody who thought they'd skip them altogether !
It's true though that kissing is an art and that there are many awful kissers around.
You can train them- you don't have to settle for "sloppy "kissers - YUCK ! It should not feel as if you have been roughed up by a very affectionate Saint Bernard dog.
The best is , I think, communication. You have to tell them, and show them, how you want to be kissed , - what works for you ( speed. pressure, duration etc. ).
Then again, ... nothing is mandatory in love. If you really hate doing something,- then skip it.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (20 December 2010):
 If you have a particular way that you like to kiss someone, instead of hurting their feelings by telling them that you don't like what they're doing, try this that i did once...
I was kissing a guy and it didn't really do anything for me, so in the end i turned to him and said "let me show you how i would like to kiss you..." and went in for the kill. He picked up on it very quickly and i really enjoyed it.
Just a little technique to be aware of for future reference :)
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (20 December 2010):
 Totally normal, dont worry. I am 23 and not a massive fan of kissing with tongues, I just find it a bit sloppy and doesnt make kissing more enjoyable! I have had some partners who have been great kissers, even with tongues, but in general I am not that keen on it. My boyfriend doesnt seem to mind that we dont kiss with tongues, our relationship is great and we kiss a lot but just without tongues!
So dont worry - lots of people feel the same way and it shouldnt have any impact on your relationship.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (20 December 2010):
 You know it sounds like you had a bad experience with french kissing (using tongues while kissing) and perhaps that is why you don't like to do it. It could also be because you just find it to be repulsive, some people just don't like certain things including kissing with tongue and it is normal. My boyfriend and I don't usually use tongue unless he is drunk, I'm drunk or if were are just in the mood.
I think its normal.
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (20 December 2010):
 Yes, that's totally normal. A lot of couple have preferences and many leave out certain things. It's not strange or abnormal, it's just finding out what you enjoy and feel comfortable with.
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