A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy a few months ago after moving to a new city and we seem to really hit it off. When I first met him, I just got out of a relationship and wasn't looking for anything other than friendship. I made this very clear to him. We never got really close but we talked constantly. We just had that connection that even though we just met, i felt comfortable talking to him. After getting to know him better, I started to really like as more than a friend. I never told him this, but we did hang out a few times one and on and with other friends. But after we started hanging out just the two of us, he started to get flaky. Canceling last minute even if he was the one who suggested it in the first place. I didn't really make a big deal out of this at first because I get he's busy and has things going on in his life, assuming he didn't lie about his reasons. But eventually he canceled so much that it got to the point where I was tired of it and didn't even want to be his friend because he was so unreliable and canceling last minute is just rude. I still liked him though and despite everything I did want to see him. But I decided to be strong and not waste any more time on him. So I stopped calling him and stopped inviting him out, deleted him from my phone. If he contacted me, which he did a few times, I was polite but kept the conversation short. I haven't heard from him in a while, he doesn't call anymore, and he's never online (when he use to be online always). I just really miss talking to him. I think I might have overreacted to the whole canceling thing. Should I just let this go or try to get in touch with him?Thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers and thanks for reminding me of why I cut off contact with him in the first place. It's just hard to go from talking all the time to stop speaking with him.
A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (19 December 2010):
No you didn't over-react : that is a hateful trait - basically a very selfish , uncaring attitude to friends : my time is important, yours of no value.
You did abs right; don't contact him. Move on and see other friends, m and f.
Should he contact you again I would refuse to agree a one on one meet. The most you could do would be to include him in a group thing so as if he does not turn up the event isn't spoilt.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 December 2010):
 I don't think you overreacted. As you pointed out, repeatedly cancelling dates at the last minute is just rude, whomever it comes from, friend or love interest.
You don't need having rude "friends " around.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (19 December 2010):
 I don't think you overreacted. I think he was acting rudely by continuously ditching you, and he didn't chase you when you left. I think I would let it go. If he comes back and is interested (and won't cancel on you), give him another chance. Good luck, sweet!
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A
male
reader, Fionnlagh  +, writes (19 December 2010):
 If he's interested he will get in contact with you. You could just say hi and a friendly Merry Christmas, without making yourself sound desperate to reconnect‘Love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.’ Maybe he doesn’t care about you as much anymore. Only one way to find out right? Say hi.
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