A
female
age
30-35,
*arah Burn
writes:Hey!Me and my boyfriend are goin out 9 months next week and i want it to be really special, we've organized a few things aswell. Its just my mam wants me to go to my cousins confirmation on the same day!:( . How can i tell her that i cant go? She's lettin me go to england on a holiday with him and im very grateful for that but if i dont go to the confirmation she better still let me go! Me and my boyfriend really need this day together cause we've had a rough few weeks. I know if he finds out he'll agree with my mam just to keep her happy but i really dont want to go to it!! How can i tell them that i wont be going as its our 9 months?? HELLP PLEASE!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): I would go if it were my anniversary and I've been married 28 years...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): It is really not worth the drama, and if your boyfriend is a good guy, he'll understand.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): I agree with the others. He'll understand. You don't want to alienate family over this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): Special events with family are huge and anniversaries only involve two people which is much easier to rearrange.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): I'm sorry sweetie but you are waaay off track here in my opinion. It is really not worth the drama,
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female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (19 January 2011):
 9 months isnt an anniversary.
Go to your family function.
Enjoy your one year anniversary in 3 months!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): You can't skip family functions for these monthly things. Heck, I would go if it were my anniversary and I've been married 28 years... Special events with family are huge and anniversaries only involve two people which is much easier to rearrange. I'm sorry sweetie but you are waaay off track here in my opinion. It is really not worth the drama, and if your boyfriend is a good guy, he'll understand. You don't want to alienate family over this.
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female
reader, DenimandLace44  +, writes (19 January 2011):
 I'm with the others... You can't skip family functions for these monthly things. Heck, I would go if it were my anniversary and I've been married 28 years... Special events with family are huge and anniversaries only involve two people which is much easier to rearrange. I'm sorry sweetie but you are waaay off track here in my opinion. It is really not worth the drama, and if your boyfriend is a good guy, he'll understand. You don't want to alienate family over this.
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (19 January 2011):
OP I think that maybe the majority of posters here have the benefit of being somewhat older than you when offering a response to your question. In this case we can see things from your mother's point of view, which is that of an adult. And, as an adult, the fact that you cannot go to the confirmation because it's your 9month anniversary seems, I'm afraid, like nonsense.
As you get older your priorities change, and you realise that sometimes you have to do things you don't want to, even if you have more interesting plans. Try and be objective here and think about the two events from an outsider's point of view. A confirmation is a once in a lifetime thing. You can celebrate a month anniversary every 30 days or so.
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male
reader, foolishsage +, writes (19 January 2011):
 Ah - young love. It's a beautiful thing - it's part of growing up and I'm glad that you cherish your boyfriend and you being together and want to celebrate it. However, do mind that another part of growing up is responsibilities and obligations. Whether you want to go to the confirmation or not, it has been pointed out that it is a one time ever occasion already and it is a family commitment - it's something you need to do.
Another thing is that you should be appreciative that your mam has granted permission for you to go on holiday with him - that's fantastic and it is something that you really need to step back and take a look at and be thankful for in itself. It would be somewhat poor form to take it for granted, but to not attend your cousin's confirmation would be something akin to thumbing your nose at your mam.
I understand that if you've had a rough couple weeks that you'd really like to have that special day with him, but as G had stated - why not explain to your mam that it's a special day for the two of you and that you'd like to take him with?
As has also been pointed out, 9 months is not exactly a tremendously significant milestone and when you are older, you'd likely kick yourself for missing your cousin's confirmation or for even having raised the issue w/ your mam.
Most importantly, as a point of fact and a fact of life, as you grow into adulthood, you will realize that the world doesn't bend to suit you - you must adapt to what is going on in the world around you and make the time for those important to you the best way that you can. For example. If a couple had their 6 yr wedding anniversary fall on the same day as one of their grandparent's 100th birthday, do you think that they would honor that person by being with them on that occasion that they'd wait until the next opportune time to be able to have their alone time together and celebrate 6 years of being married to one another? I believe that choice is obvious and it's even in reference to 6 yrs of marriage.
Please try to look at the big picture and I believe you'll see the obvious answer.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (19 January 2011):
 You scored an England trip?? Alright! I wouldn't push your luck.
If you are into monthiversary's (loving that term), then you have lots and lots left. Your cousin really only has the one confirmation EVER, and by going you will be saving yourself an awful lot of drama.
Get the bonus points and just attend. You will have plenty more occasions to celebrate with your fella! Good luck!
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female
reader, cutiepiesensei +, writes (19 January 2011):
sorry but 9 months isn't an anniversary. Only high schoolers do those (and even when I was in HS i didn't understand it). You have something more important to do that day than just a random 9 month excuse. It sounds like BS. youre going to england with him so just celebrate then.an anniversary gets the root from "annual" meaning every YEAR not nine months. i understand half year anniversaries and full year ones, but nothing more
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 January 2011):
 Naah... A 9 months anniversary ? A "monthiversary"?.Seriously ?
I mean, I get that you are 16 and romantic and into cutesy things, but ,that you can't attend a family event because you must celebrate your monthiversary... oh come on.
You say you are going to go to England with him soon, so plenty of alone time for you guys there. Please be reasonable and do not give your mom a hard time over such a non-issue.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Oh and another thing, the best way to get your mam to hate your boyfriend is to make her think that he's the reason you missed that confirmation. No matter what you say she'll blame him and his influence on you for it.
"but if i dont go to the confirmation she better still let me go!" hahaha yeah good luck with that Sarah, if you couldn't be bothered your arse to turn up to that confirmation when she was nice enough to let you go to England, for an anniversary that you only made up, then good luck convincing her that you should still be allowed go.
Just to clarify before I'm slated by others I know 9 month anniversary is celebrated by teens okay? Fair enough, but it's only a dry run for the year anniversary that's the real anniversary. All this one month, 6 month, 9 month crap is just an excuse to have a special day, well you can make any day that special. 9 months and 6 days is an anniversary too in that case, so celebrate it then. I mean I celebrate all my birthdays on the closest Saturday regardless of what day it is.
OP you're the only one that thinks this a good idea, even your boyfriend would think you should go to the confirmation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Jesus woman stop panicking. Confirmations only last a about an hour so just bring him with you and make it part of your special day. No offence but 9 months is not really an anniversary, unless you're celebrating not getting pregnant 9 months ago.
Just add the confirmation to the list of things you're going to do that day, they don't take long and your mam will be pissed if you miss it. You get to bring him, your family get to slag him for a little while and then you can go off and be alone with him. Your mam will be happy, you get to show your boyfriend off to your family, you get to spend super special 9 month, 4 hours, 3 minutes and 7 seconds anniversary with him too. Who knows they might even let yee have a drink.
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