A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I wanted to remain friends with a former professor because she was a huge impact on my life. I asked her if we could remain in contact, she said yes, but every time I email her (the only form on contact we have) she doesn't reply. why would she agree to keeping in touch if she never gets back? Should I bother contacting her if she never gets back to me? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011): I'm a professor at a major university. I get about 200 e-mails a day, excluding the 1200 or so from mailing lists. The one's from past students do get responded to -- eventually, maybe weeks or months later. I realise that this doesn't suit the texting generation, but it does reflect just how hectic some times of the year are. In a career of 20-odd years I think there are perhaps two students I choose not to answer, more than 200 I keep in one-a-year contact with, and maybe 20 I correspond with every few months (mainly because they are now researchers).You should not read anything into the delay. E-mails from past students are very appreciated, especially those that tell the story of where they have ended up and what they are doing now (even where that is that you'd given the field away and moved to New Zealand to have children with an attractive backpacker you met).Sadly, it's also true that some professors are terrible correspondents. You won't know until maybe another six months.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjmc930 I wasn't rejecting all suggestions, I was only looking for answers to questions. I have taken all the responses into consideration; therefore it was worth asking for advice and I thank all those who have responded.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011): Sorry, OP, just offering an option as to why she isn't responding. Rejecting all suggestions as impossibilities kind of makes it not even worth asking for advice.
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (6 August 2011):
 OK, I work at a University, and when the profs go on leave, there is TOTAL blackout. No emails, no letters, no phonecalls.
If it is a research leave, then they may check for important emails only.
If it is holiday, then they dont check at all! Even Profs are allowed time off you know.
Most Profs recieve HUNDREDS of emails a week, so taking any time off at all can lead to a huge backlog, and sifting thru this to find the important ones can take a long time. Not only are there correspondance, but also internal emails from chancellor, head of depts, finance, admin, secretary, policy guidelines, meeting minutes, requests, notices, timetables....... the list is endless.
They prioritise the main points and ignore the rest. Then get sidetracked.
Seriously. You have NO idea. In fact sometimes they get so snowed under, that many have a habit of hitting the mass delete button. Then pretending they never got the email.
(after giggling like naughty school children at the fact they have just deleted 400 circular emails from the departmental secretary informing them of random rubbish).
Let her be. The more you pester her, the less likely she is to respond. It IS the summer holidays after all!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (4 August 2011):
Hello again. Because you have made it clear that it was not more than being appreciative of her as your professor, well the reason she hadn't answered your email is probably because she is now on leave, as you have said here.
And because she is on leave at the moment, it's possible that she is away on holidays - not at home at all.
You could just wait a couple of weeks to see then when she gets home again, whether she then answers your email.
If she doesn't, and it gets to be about a month or more, maybe you could then write her a short hand written letter to say thank you, and mail it directly to the university. What I was talking about earlier.
Best wishes and take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJmc930 I don't see why it should be frowned upon if i'm no longer a student and there are countless number of professors who keep in touch with their students after they have left.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): If she's on leave as you said, it's likely she's not checking her university email at all.
Continually emailing is annoying, though, so wait until she's back from leave to see if she responds.
Although you aren't seeking a romantic relationship with this professor, there are still student/teacher relationship guidelines. The university no doubt would frown upon a professor being pals with a student.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): It could be because she's busy and hasn't checked her email.
Don't send her anymore messages and see if she replies or not, if she doesn't then maybe she doesn't want you to email her.
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (2 August 2011):
If my PhD supervisor didn't check his emails for a week he used to come back to well over 400 unread messages in his inbox. Your prof probably has massive amounts of mail to check, whether she is on research leave or at uni/college. She may simply not have the time to return your messages.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 You got excellent advice all around. Listen to the Aunties, and you'll know in your heart what to do. Appreciate you've been a good student who appreciated all that she does and who she is professionally. That will mean plenty. Now that you've let her know, go about your life and utilize what she taught you in it. Good luck!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses, just to clarify it is not a relationship that I am seeking, just to simply keep in touch as I have with many other former teachers and such. To Dorothy Dix I made it clear that I appreciated her as a professor and Jmc930 she is on leave at the moment.
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 I would think that if a mutual bond of friendship had been forged, it would have been more apparent before the request to keep in touch.
A prof/student relationship is always something that would be frowned on by the faculty. Any Prof would probably keep things to a strictly professional student/teacher relationship and only correspond where necessary, simply because that is the best way to remain above board.
And in any case - if you find that a correspondence isn't being kept up after 3 or 4 emails - regardless of who they are - it's time to stop writing.
I am sure a professional note to the school on how much Professor X's course influenced you and your life would be appreciated; none-the-less. Professors have hundreds of students each year, even if you appreciated her influence, it's unrealistic to think she could remain close to so many people year after year. Sorry to be blunt.
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female
reader, Gay Agony Help +, writes (2 August 2011):
Hi! I'm sorry to hear that your communication with your ex professor is not going quite how you had planned. From personal experiences, I would say it is either because she can not receive emails from addresses not with in the university she is in, there has been a change in circumstances in her life and therefore she is now not looking to get into anything or she is playing hard to get. What I would recommend you to do is this. Do not email her for a short while, and see if she cares enough to email you instead. Try one more time after a few weeks and if you still have nothing, I guess it depends on how much you want this communication. You either leave it there and think it's not meant to be, or you call the university and speak to her directly. Hope my advise helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses,
Dorothy Dix when I emailed asking to keep in contact I did make it clear that I appreciated her as a professor and it is not a relationship that I am seeking.
Jmc930 she is still working at the university but she is actually on leave at the moment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): In general, when students keep in touch with their professors, it's because the professor would serve as a great reference for a job, internship or higher degree, not just to chat and give life updates. It's possible that your professor simply doesn't have the time to answer casual emails, doesn't work at the university anymore or perhaps is on sabbatical and isn't frequently checking her email. Could any of these be a possibility?
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (2 August 2011):
Hi there. Perhaps she is reading more into it than what is meant by you.
Perhaps she thinks you want to be in a relationship with her. It's possible.
That's probably what a lot of people might think. Especially if you didn't make it clear at the time.
It's also possible that she is very busy in her work and in her life.
It really depends on what your intention was when you said to her could you keep in contact.
If you just want to do something like say "Thank You" to her for being a positive influence in your life, you could write a short letter of thanks to her at the university to express those feelings.
First though, just check with the university to make sure that she still works there, and hasn't moved on.
Best wishes.
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