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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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I broke up with him over Whatsapp and now he won't speak to me
Q. I won't go into the whole story its too long to write, but in short I broke up with my boyfriend and now I am trying to get him back. I broke with him through whatsapp as that was our main mode of communication, the tick never turned blue so I do ...
A. 3 August 2015: People who strong others along are selfish, and you would be expecting too much of them to reply with "thank you for you time, I wish you the best." Fact is if he cares enough rather than the benefits he got from you, it would turn into a ... (read in full...)
I want my wife to be a hotwife and go to bed with our friend
Q. I would love for my wife to go to bed with a friend of ours, she has flirted with him and he sure finds her hot.I find it a big turn on thinking about her going to bed with him. Is that normal and how can I convince her it is OK with me?...
A. 3 August 2015: My husband dirty talks that way too in bed. It is just a fantasy and it's to get him to stay hard. A common issue for men is to keep things exciting, and thinking, "how do you do that when you keep fishing the same fish every day?" You may think ... (read in full...)
The guy is all over the place and I can't figure out what he wants
Q. Hi, I'm just looking for a little advice. I've been dating this guy. Not long. 3 weeks but in those 3 weeks we had in excess of 10 dates. It was going well. Then one night I was staying at his and we got a little closer than we had previously (...
A. 2 August 2015: He can be attracted to you but he's not over his ex. Being at the same work place it makes it hard to move on from her. When he was kissing you, probably images of her popped up. He wants to get over her but the 10 dates with you still didn't help. ... (read in full...)
My late "husband's" son wants to marry me
Q. I am a 35 year old Indian divorcee. I married my Indian husband in 2000 when I was just 20 years old but divorced him after just three months of marriage. I was still a virgin when I began divorce proceedings. I sued for divorce because of my ...
A. 2 August 2015: Ndlovu had Trevor when he was 13/14? That's hard to believe. Was he the step dad and his late wife was much older? If they are biological then I would find it hard to sleep with Trevor. Even if they are not there would still be memories lingering ... (read in full...)
I can't rely on him. He puts me down. I'm trying to identify what I see in him. What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 4 years says saying monogamous in relationship is stupid, he insists that his mind belongs to me and why do i care what his body does when i love his mind and brain more than his body. I know the conversation sounds stup...
A. 2 August 2015: What you see is a narcissistic guy who uses people as pawns. Monogamy doesn't work for him anymore because he needs narcissistic supply from new women. You can only impress a person for so long, before you need new people to get awed by the novelty. ... (read in full...)
Is my online date the real deal? His suspicious behavior is concerning me.
Q. ok , i was due to go on a date yesterday with a guy from a dating site. I have been chatting with him for over 2 months but he cancelled last minute - the time we were supposed to meet. this is the 2nd time he has cancelled on me. I'm finding th...
A. 2 August 2015: It's not that dates never work out if you do online. I never take chatters seriously. If it takes them too long to meet it means the guy has some kind of problem. Too ugly, too broke, too shy or something that he has to hide from public. Chatting is ... (read in full...)
Smitten for my online date. What should I do, wait for him, hoping he may text some day?
Q. Please help, I met this guy via a dating app. He's 40. We met once and slept at the second date. We both liked each other but I'm new to this and newly divorced and he's very seasoned. I clearly seemed to eager and after he didn't reply to 3 of my ...
A. 2 August 2015: I guess being seasoned means that if you don't hear from your date again, you shrug it off and move on to the next one. You would also not fall in love until you know that person is serious and the contact is consistent. You fell in love because ... (read in full...)
Standing up for yourself in a relationship
Q. First of all, I want to start off by saying that I have nothing against men and women who engage in their fantasies whether it's open marriages, candaulism, hotwifing, polyamory or swinging, it's all fine by me as long as it is a shared fantasy,...
A. 1 August 2015: Married people who want a polyarmous relationship are not living in the real world, but they are looking for an escape. Never do they ask themselves, is my spouse happy, did I spend enough time with my children? If they are realistic about it they ... (read in full...)
Don't make decisions when mad or sad. So what can I do about resolving what has transpired with my BF?
Q. Hi guys I need some help here. My boyfriend had been doing well we had gotten more intimate we live with his mom and we have a baby together. The baby is 2 1/2 so we been living togeather for 2 years and 3 months. Yesterday his mon texted me and as...
A. 1 August 2015: I know you were expecting an apology, and gratefulness that you took the blame. He was nice to his mom but not you, not because you did anything wrong. His mom will always be there for him, accepting and supporting him but one day you might realize ... (read in full...)
He's 26 and seems to be in good health. Is it me? He keeps on suffering from ED
Q. I've been dating this gorgeous, funny and overall sweet guy and I'm so happy! But the first time we tried to be intimate, he couldn't stay hard. We attributed it to beer he had at dinner and though he was embarrassed, I told him I did not mind (...
A. 1 August 2015: It could be performance anxiety and not knowing where you stand. If you know he's always like that does it mean you don't want to be his girlfriend? At the beginning stages when everything is sweet, you may look past it but when it comes to long ... (read in full...)
Nearly 5 years together and now he's suddenly voiced reservations. Why?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 5 years now. We plan to get married in a year and half. For his work, he had to shift to another city and right now we are in a long distance relationship since last few months. One thing I am very ...
A. 1 August 2015: Yes, olderthandirt is right. You may think a job move is a glorious thing, it shows he is ambitious and is exploring. Having to move is also a sign that in your city it's hard to find jobs. Reality is that many people find themselves in desolate ... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting? BF is inconsiderate and doesn't act loving and invents new "rules" for me.
Q. My boyfriend and I of 2 years fight. A lot. He is petty and always inventing new "rules" or things that upset him. Months ago , he told me he didn't like it when I added random men to FB, esp after a night out without him. I tried to be sensitiv...
A. 1 August 2015: He was being passive aggressive and playing dumb. Two wrongs don't make a right. Actually you saw a condom wrapper in the car so that's a sign of him cheating on you before you added men on Facebook. Was the trust issue fixed? He was not adding ... (read in full...)
Single Mothers: does it ever get any easier in the absence of your child's father?
Q. This is a question for any single mothers out there: does it ever get easier without your children's father? My problem isn't regarding financial support, but the emotional side of the situation. My son's father has been absent since his birth. For ...
A. 30 July 2015: Does he doubt that the kid is his? That may be why he refuses to see him. Get him to do paternity test. Sometimes men are in great denial that they need proof to stop making excuses, and to be responsible.
It gets better if you are happy and fina... (read in full...)
Failed past relation. Then online friend. How can I regain my health and get over my ex?
Q. i'm 23 years old female, felt in love for 4 years with a cheating guy. many cupids here helped into knowing that i was in a kind of abusive relationship, and it took me a lot of courage to actually let go of my boyfriend. i had a male friend who ...
A. 29 July 2015: I think you are still suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. It takes time to heal, but take your time. Tears are the river of joy and sorrow. Let it all out and don't feel shameful about your crying. If you need medication to help regulate ... (read in full...)
Unrequited love. It's been so long, but I can't get over him. Should I call him to ease the pain?
Q. I fell madly in love with this boy back when we were college seniors. We were really close and we spent a lot of time together. One night, I told him how I felt for him. I didn't really get a clear answer from him but I knew that he didn't love me ...
A. 29 July 2015: I think you are able to get over him, you just didn't want to give up yet. Love is a mutual thing that develops when both people put effort into it. They take time to know each other and have trust. What you have is infatuation and the longing to be ... (read in full...)
Husband on website talking about strap on sex, blood in his underwear! Am I just deluding myself into thinking he is not cheating?
Q. So a while ago i found out my husband was using the adult friend finder website. He addamantly denies meeting anyone he was just talking online... i am pregnant with our second child at the moment and since my mothers passing 2 years ago i have no ...
A. 28 July 2015: You should have asked, "let me see that ass zit." If he used a dildo, he should have told you about it so it doesn't seem like he had been cheating. But really, if he used dildos on himself and ripped his anus, the first thing he would do is go to ... (read in full...)
Am I letting him down when I'm unwilling to have virtual sex with my LDR boyfriend?
Q. My LDR boyfriend often wants virtual sex where we are on Webcam. Thing is, he doesn't do the sweet talk or sexy talk.. he just wants to see and then he masturbates and is finished within 2 minutes... while I have yet to feel anything. This is w...
A. 28 July 2015: I think it's more of a matter of, "what's the point", rather than your comfort level with doing this. Is sweet talk more difficult than virtual sex? I don't think so. He needs to know that men are different from women. In general men need a release ... (read in full...)
Should I be cautious? I am not sure about his Tinder past
Q. I have been chatting to a guy online and we seem quite similar in our outlook. He said he had a longterm relationship and then went on the dating app tinder and slept with 5-6 women as only wanted something casual but realised he wanted more. ...
A. 28 July 2015: It would be conventional thought to abstain from sex for a while to heal from a long term relationship rather than to use different people to scratch an itch. Other people don't think there is a problem with it. I don't think it is uncommon for ... (read in full...)
How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong?
Q. How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong? I snooped and found something that i really wanted answers to. If its true i will have trust issues with my husband. Well, i tried to control myself but he s...
A. 27 July 2015: He either is dead wrong or you are not sure what he did. Needing clarification is different from wanting him to admit he's unfaithful. Snooping does not help unless you find 100% proof that he's cheating. Until then there's not much to say. If you ... (read in full...)
Do I make a move? Or how do I give the signals that I'd like him to make a move? Does he like me?
Q. Im 20, in college, and i am 90% sure this guy likes me but i have no idea what to do. Let me preface this: I'm a shy person. Like clinically shy. Especially around guys. I always tend to either shut down or say too much around them. Or I make ...
A. 27 July 2015: There are different ways to do it. You can tell him since you both have movie passes, it would be a good idea to watch a movie together. Or, he bought you breakfast the other day, buy him lunch and sit together. It won't seem like you are asking him ... (read in full...)
Do I trust him or not? Something is making me wary.
Q. I have just started seeing someone but I am finding myself a little wary of his actions. I trust him yet I don't think I do. For example last week he said he was going to watch a film at 9pm and said night. I thought that was odd because why ...
A. 26 July 2015: He said good night because after the film it would be 11 and he concluded the night before the movie. You think being hyper vigilant can protect you. There are many good guys out there. You are always preparing for the worst, that he would cheat on ... (read in full...)
How can I not feel stupid and intimidated anytime I talk to him?
Q. Hi everyone, can you give me some advice? thanks :) How can I not feel stupid and intimidated anytime I talk to him? I think my self-esteem is low, I am not confident enough and that's the reason why I feel like it when I talk or text with him. ...
A. 25 July 2015: Stupid is as stupid does. You feel intimidated because high quality men are rare, and you are afraid of losing a chance with him. Life is not all about intellect and seriousness. I am sure he would appreciate some time when he can goof off too. I ... (read in full...)
I worry my girlfriend will lose interest in me
Q. Me and this amazing girl have been dating for about 8 months now. We do Love each other very much. But to be honest I feel very inferior to her, and I haven't told her. She's a musician and going to college for commercial music...Which actually I ...
A. 25 July 2015: If you have plans to get married, it is very hard to just enjoy it while it lasts. Being a musician can be a very rewarding life, the drawback is the risk you take because only a few of them come out on top. For the rest, it can feel like an ... (read in full...)
Did I cut him off too quickly?
Q. Ok so i was dating i had met a guy online. We had been dating for around two weeks and from the first we clicked instantly. We had gotten along so well that we were speaking everyday throughout the day he had told his family and friends about me and ...
A. 25 July 2015: At two weeks it's impossible to tell what his "usual self" is. It's also too early to be looking for patterns. He could be dating other girls at the same time. You are allowed to ask if you are the only one. He's allowed to date others and he can ... (read in full...)
'm not sure if the girl I like likes me in return, what should I do?
Q. Hi everyone I have a few questions. Basically i like a girl and i'm not sure if she likes me back, some days i think so, others i'm not sure and i'd love to have the confidence to just ask her but as i'm sure you appreciate, often that is easier s...
A. 20 July 2015: If I liked someone I talk to them right away. If someone compliments me I just say "thank you," with a smile if I like him too. She sounds like a tourist, or someone who won't stay there for long. That would stop anyone from thinking about dating. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend took up with another woman two weeks after he dumped me
Q. My boyfriend of 3.5 yeas left me in March this year saying that he no longer loved me as we argued too much and didn't get on. I was devastated as he was stepdad to my 5 year old child as well as my partner. He wouldn't even consider a break or a ...
A. 20 July 2015: This is very little about love but his dependence on drugs. Some people are not themselves until they get their dose of drugs or alcohol every day. Without it they are cranky. That explains the arguing. It's not that he doesn't see himself marrying ... (read in full...)
They all met new guys but I didn't!
Q. I went out with my friend and my sister last night and some other nights. We all hoped to meet new guys. Well I didn't and they did. So we're somewhere and I am all alone and they are talking to these new working class guys that got themselves ...
A. 20 July 2015: Your mission is to meet new people, not to wait to be approached. Guys can just be as shy as you. You can go look for a guy who's by himself. If you are not working yet you can talk about what your goals are, what school you go to. You are right, ... (read in full...)
I've tried. It's not working. I want to give up!
Q. Hello , I would admit to being depressed for the past few weeks. Let me start by saying I am at a point in my life where I am not happy with my finances, my relationship and everything in general. I have gone out a couple of times with the intention ...
A. 20 July 2015: Your bad luck with guys is not a reflection of how you are. It is a reality that a lot of people can't afford things because of steep rising costs over the years. You are feeling this way because most people have been sold on the idea that if only ... (read in full...)
He says he wouldn't marry a slut and then he calls me one!
Q. What does it mean when a man says he loves sluts like the ones in porn but wouldn't want to marry one' anf then in arguments calls you a slut repeatedly He later claims he didn't mean if and was just angry but I can't seem to get over this and don'...
A. 20 July 2015: He's verbally abusive. The word slut, has different meanings. It basically means anybody but Virgin Mary. Anybody but a woman who's long suffering, demure, and does not engage in arguments. In history men had exiled the perfect women out there, in ... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting by considering breaking up with gf because she went to see male strippers?
Q. Hi. So, let's describe the events before asking the question. Because they are lenghty, I am starting with the TOO LONG:DIDN'T READ version TL:DR: She went to a strip show while I don't nor have I done the same. Am I over reacting that she wen...
A. 20 July 2015: Yes the rules go for both men and women. I don't care if people are straight, bisexual, gay, transexual. People make their own rules and have to be respected.... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting by considering breaking up with gf because she went to see male strippers?
Q. Hi. So, let's describe the events before asking the question. Because they are lenghty, I am starting with the TOO LONG:DIDN'T READ version TL:DR: She went to a strip show while I don't nor have I done the same. Am I over reacting that she wen...
A. 20 July 2015: I don't doubt there are double standards in society but the OP thinks that the only naked bodies he should see is his partner's and no one else. So for him, it would be disrespectful to go to a strip club, men or women although to see men it would ... (read in full...)
I don't want to cheat on my husband but don't know how long I can go being unsatisfied
Q. So basically for the past 2 weeks or so I've been extremely horny. Like to the point that I think I might cheat on my husband if given the opportunity. I also gave myself my first orgasm ever last night. I am not being satisfied by my husband at the ...
A. 19 July 2015: Has he agreed to an open relationship? It sounds like you let him sleep with other women so you could have sex with other men. Some husbands don't want real sex anymore because they don't want their wives to get pregnant, even those who use birth ... (read in full...)
My ex thinks that I want to get back together with him and I don't
Q. I feel like a bad person right now and I feel like I just don't understand my ex or his family. We share a daughter so when she was asked to be his brother's flower girl, and I was also invited it seemed like going with my ex would be ok. I know now ...
A. 19 July 2015: Parents are always on their children's side. What you should do is honestly tell her you went to the wedding because it's a special moment for your little girl and you want to offer her moral support. I am sure your son's life would be easier if you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is constantly talking about how gorgeous other women are and I find it very hurtful
Q. Hi, Just wanted to see what other people say about this: I seem to meet guys, two now that I'd really fallen for, one I dated for a few months last year but had to leave the relationship for various reasons, but the one of the biggest reasons ...
A. 19 July 2015: It's not a coincidence that both men are much older than you. Maybe you gravitate towards them because you felt older men could bring you more security?
I agree with you that what they did was disrespectful and hurtful. They are old and inse... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is constantly talking about how gorgeous other women are and I find it very hurtful
Q. Hi, Just wanted to see what other people say about this: I seem to meet guys, two now that I'd really fallen for, one I dated for a few months last year but had to leave the relationship for various reasons, but the one of the biggest reasons ...
A. 19 July 2015: It's not a coincidence that both men are much older than you. Maybe you gravitate towards them because you felt older men could bring you more security?
I agree with you that what they did was disrespectful and hurtful. They are old and inse... (read in full...)
Do I throw away a twenty year marriage because he is more interested in porn stars than me?
Q. My husbands obsession with Porn is driving me crazy . There is no desire when he looks at me anymore . Our sex life feel like he is in another world . He has his favourite porn stars saved on his computer.I've Tried talking to him and he sa...
A. 19 July 2015: Don't make it a problem about porn. He has to come to this realization himself. If he acts disinterested, simply do not have sex with him. No kissing, hugging or anything. On the surface he's enjoying endless, effortless entertainment. It's true ... (read in full...)
He lied to me. I am so angry with him, yet can you love and hate someone at the same time?
Q. Six months ago, I was going out with a guy. We were both sixteen. His ex also made me feel very uncomfortable as she still liked him and kept making jibes over us. This guy has had a string of girlfriends but he was my first boyfriend. I tho...
A. 19 July 2015: Here's when your mind and heart are at battle. Your head tells you he's up to no good, it protects you so when he lies, you react with anger. Your heart is gentle, forgiving and lets people in. It's patient and often sees the best in people. The key ... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting by considering breaking up with gf because she went to see male strippers?
Q. Hi. So, let's describe the events before asking the question. Because they are lenghty, I am starting with the TOO LONG:DIDN'T READ version TL:DR: She went to a strip show while I don't nor have I done the same. Am I over reacting that she wen...
A. 19 July 2015: You are not overreacting. Not many Americans and Canadian women go to see strip shows. I think it's disrespectful. I've only known one more person who watched strip shows with her daughter, and they are Norweigians. In my opinion it's not a healthy ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is pressuring me to move with him!
Q. I have started my first serious relationship in college and now my boyfriend and I have 2.5 years of being together. He's 2 years older than me and he finished college, so he had to move from the dorm. And this where the problem started. Be...
A. 18 July 2015: Your parents' concern is that living together increases your chance of getting pregnant. Having a baby would halt your graduation and your career dreams. There is no guarantee that your boyfriend would step up and marry you.
Your concern is that... (read in full...)
My friends want him gone. Am I crazy for trying to still accomodate him?
Q. So here's my situation. I've been in a relationship with my bf for 2 1/2 years. We have been friends for almost 10. I thought we could make it work but we both have issues and we've come to a point where I broke up with him because we weren't ...
A. 18 July 2015: No you are not crazy. Being friends with him so long, it's hard to cut him off like he's a pest. I assume your friends are also your roommates. They didn't form this deep bond with him so they would not have empathy or compassion that you do.
W... (read in full...)
We got along great, one time of oral sex and now he says I'm vindictive and he treats me like a sister. What did I do wrong?
Q. met a guy about a month ago. we spent a lot of time together, got along great. first time in a long time that I found someone worth trying for. everything was going so well that I thought naturally we should just take it to the next level, as there ...
A. 17 July 2015: Vindictive is the wrong word. That bad feeling must have carried over from his last relationship where they had exchanged heated arguments. I don't think you did anything wrong but maybe you spent too much time together. He should have more ... (read in full...)
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