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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Confused by one night stand. Was I too harsh on him?
Q. Dear all. Please can you throw some light on this. Thanks. I have recently come out of a long abusive relationship and feel happier than ever. I've been out partying and dating and having a great time. Anyway, last weekend I met a guy I was stro...
A. 27 September 2015: You are obviously a kind hearted woman and you are projecting your sensitivities onto him, which in reality he has none. He's probably not giving much thought and moving on with life. I don' think all one night stands are trashy but with this one, ... (read in full...)
Confused by one night stand. Was I too harsh on him?
Q. Dear all. Please can you throw some light on this. Thanks. I have recently come out of a long abusive relationship and feel happier than ever. I've been out partying and dating and having a great time. Anyway, last weekend I met a guy I was stro...
A. 26 September 2015: All you did was look tense, and said you could go home by yourself. How was that harsh? He was rude by joking with his friends while you were there. No I don't think he can like you and do that. Sex does not have to be meaningful all the time, but I ... (read in full...)
My siblings are attacking me for moving back home for 6 months!
Q. I'm 20 and earn 100 euro a week and i suffer from severe stress anxiety and depression. I moved out from home one year ago to live with my fiance but our rent increased massively causing us to leave the home we made together, the rent rise was a ...
A. 25 September 2015: Hope your fiancee's family is close by and they have no other dysfunctional family members you have to worry about.
I think one valid argument that would support you is that it's your parent's house and they let you stay. You were made to feel smal... (read in full...)
I know that we are amazing friends but my question is, is it possible to have a 'bond' with a guy friend?
Q. Hi, so I'm currently studying for a degree and have a close group of friends made up of three girls and one guy. Myself and the guy are close friends and when I went through a breakup of a very long relationship he was an amazing friend to me and ...
A. 25 September 2015: Of course it's possible to have a bond. the question is whether it is an appropriate one or not. Imagine if you had a boyfriend would you want him to get so close to a female friend behind your back? Even if you are careful and do not cross physical ... (read in full...)
Should I take up my boyfriends parents' offer and move in with them for a while?
Q. I live with my mother and step father who I feel and believe are being abusive towards me. What I mean by this is that my step father says horrible things to me when he's mad and has grabbed me and has hurt me a few times. He has a bad anger problem ...
A. 25 September 2015: Yes you should take it, until you can stand on your own feet or you get married, whichever comes first. When you've been mistreated for a long time, you start to believe that you don't deserve kindness. it would be overwhelming to accept. I think ... (read in full...)
How long to wait to have sex with a new partner? Do I have to tell him how bad my sexual experience was with my first boyfriend?
Q. I'm dating a guy who is 7 yrs older than I am which is fine as I really like him, however I'm the younger one at aged 22 years. We haven't spoken about our past yet with regards to my past boyfriends. I had a really bad time with my first boyfrie...
A. 25 September 2015: I don't know what the bad experience is but I guess it's something like he's impatient and he demanded blow jobs. Sex was painful but he didn't slow things down or did enough foreplay. If you want to wait you can take your time and make sure he ... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to continue into the future with someone as spiteful as she has been towards me?
Q. I've been dating this girl on and off for a little over three years and I just recently found out that whilst we weren't together for a short period of time, she had sex with a guy that was clearly my enemy, but she didn't come clean about it until ...
A. 25 September 2015: Were you on and off because there were trust and commitment issues, or because you were long distance? If it was her inability to stay loyal because distance was the only issue, then she did not love you to begin with. The only reason you think ... (read in full...)
Should I try to re-connect with this guy? I did enjoy talking to him.
Q. Hello cupids, I met a guy this year in august at a friends friend birthday party. I just came out of a relationship almost a month before. I was standing by the water enjoying the cool breeze when a guy walked up to me. He's not really my type phy...
A. 22 September 2015: I don't think so. He wants you to be his girlfriend while you just friend zoned him. He's not a conversationalist but that doesn't mean he doesn't know what he wants. How can you say you enjoyed the conversations but was bored with him? You are not ... (read in full...)
My husband's family are putting pressure on me and I feel lost. How can I gain some control in this situation?
Q. I am feeling lost. I met my current husband 4 years ago, We dated for 3 years and finally moved in together, December last year... We got engaged in june...but life has been terrible after that. We were happy when he used to come every weeken...
A. 22 September 2015: I think your husband should have some say in how much he wants to be the father, and you the mother of your step daughter. That lady is clearly jealous of you but your husband is letting her be the surrogate mother. The situation can only be ... (read in full...)
Parents won't let me go. What do I do?
Q. Hello. I am having issues with my parents. I am 23 years old, chinese, female, and the youngest in my family, as well as my generation. I understand there is a degree of overprotectiveness, but ive had enough of it. I graduated from college (wh...
A. 21 September 2015: At first I thought student loan, your parents' mortgage and your LA rent would be too much but after I did the math I think it's doable. They can't stop you from moving out. Stop letting their opinions get in your head. Wanting to live independently ... (read in full...)
Have I done something wrong? I'm worried that I've blown it.
Q. So I've been messaging this guy and we have a lot in common, I do like him but Saturday we finally got to what we work as and he spoke about a film I've never seen I've told him my current situation which is unemployed and my future situatio...
A. 21 September 2015: I don't think suggesting to see the film scared him off. When you mentioned you are unemployed he's afraid that he would have to foot he bill each time. Being unemployed also means that you have to rely on transportation. Having a job and a car ... (read in full...)
I think my partner wants to lock me down with a ring since I'm going to university and she's worried!
Q. Dear Cupid, excuse the frantic typing; I'm really at a loss with this situation. I've been in this lesbian relationship with A, for 3 years now. I can really say that we've been through the thickest and the thinnest of situations, we've had our up...
A. 16 September 2015: The ring is more a symbol that you are with each other long term and nothing else in the world would come between you two. She wants university students to see the ring and know that you are not available. The ring doesn't mean that you have to ... (read in full...)
My fiance has become the "Church lady" and I don't know how to deal with it
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together about 6 ½ years. Last winter we told our friends and families that we intend to marry someday soon. No ring but we went that far, so I guess she’s my fiancé. We are both in our 40’s. She has children, nearly g...
A. 15 September 2015: I have no problems with people who become involved with church activities and to help out society. I have problems with people who become arrogant because of religion and think they are better than others. I think the reason why she became like this ... (read in full...)
S it normal that he gets bored so fast? I'v reached my limit on the blowjob acting.
Q. Hi Dearcupid community! :) I've been dating my boyfriend for less than a year. He was the first person I ever gave a blowjob to, so I learned everything from him or the internet and after a few weeks of "practice" I became able to make him ...
A. 15 September 2015: It feels like acting, except that you are not paid like a porn actress. You think those actresses enjoy doing it day in and day out? Take away their paycheque, and no girls would be doing it. Why don't you tell him to be a porn star so he can get ... (read in full...)
Is this what men are really like in their thoughts and feelings?
Q. I have only had one bf before and I'm just really confused if it is my lack of experience or in fact, what men are. My new bf been with him for over a year. We live together and he tells me how I'm perfect and how much he loves me and wants to be ...
A. 15 September 2015: No of course not. He wants you to think this so you would not want to leave him for a purer man. He's using your innocence and inexperience to groom you to become what he wants, or at least be okay with the idea of open relationships. He would never ... (read in full...)
He tells me to stop moaning! Help me out, I need advice, everybody tell me what to do!
Q. Just started dating a guy Ive known 20yrs cos he been asking me out for ever and said I mean whole world to him. Hes a lovely guy and I thought life’s getting better. But now we together, he works away and never texts me, except every 3 days ...
A. 14 September 2015: He had you totally wrapped around his fingers and I suspect that his temper tantrums weren't even real but he gets off on torturing you emotionally. You depend too much on his approval. He tempts you with sweet words, then withhold what you really ... (read in full...)
What are your options in a situation where you do everything you can for your spouse yet it is never enough?
Q. what are your options to a situation where you do everything you can for your spouse yet it is never enough? I have a job outside the home 4 months out of the year and the other 8 months I stay home. Even when I am working I take on the total care ...
A. 14 September 2015: There are husbands that fuss and fuss no matter what. They are usually unhappy with where they are at, so devaluing their wives is a desperate attempt to feel superior to someone. I think it's time to enlist your kids to do chores. Let him see that ... (read in full...)
Was this girl a virgin?
Q. Was this girl a virgin? This may seem like an odd question, but I assure you that the answer is important to me (I won’t get into the reasons why it is important). I have my opinion of the answer, but I’m “just a guy”. I would be very grateful fo...
A. 14 September 2015: It's true not all virgins bleed. Some have their hymen broken in horseback riding, or tampon usage. I never used tampon and even being sexually active for 15 years and I don't know how any girl could feel comfortable using them. I screamed in pain ... (read in full...)
How do I speed things up sexually with my girlfriend?
Q. I have a problem on my hands. A bi dude asked me if I wanted him to suck my dick. I replied I'm not sure, because I am already dating a girl. Honestly, I want my first sexual experience to be with a girl, but my girlfriend takes things slow,and were ...
A. 13 September 2015: If I were your girlfriend and I overheard that you replied you are not sure, instead of absolutely not to that bi guy, that would make me either slow things way down or rethink about dating you. It sounds like you are in the relationship for sexual ... (read in full...)
Can my partner be bothered or am I being unreasonable?
Q. hi. am in a LDR of nearly a year. We see each other every other weekend. i am still in the 'in ore' stage and cant my eyes off him etc, but he seems veey settled and it isnt reciprocated. don't get me wrong, he holds my hand, cuddles up...
A. 13 September 2015: On the surface it sounded like you overreacted and he's afraid of confrontations so he avoided you. Beneath it all, it could be unmatched expectations that led to unspoken resentment. This once a week meeting is not satisfying for you. You have to ... (read in full...)
He says he's ''comfortable'' with me. I'm seriously conflicted. What can I do?
Q. I am seriously conflicted by my man. My guy and I have been living together for almost a 1 1/2 years now, I love him but I am doubting if I do or not because although he says that he is comfortable with me. I can't relax knowing he's not in love...
A. 13 September 2015: Coming out of a 10 year loveless relationship, I can understand why you are conflicted, and that you worry he's just another version of your ex. I also would wonder if he's hurt by exes because they criticized his sexual ability. Maybe he's not ... (read in full...)
What could or should I do? Isn't life too short? Does her response offer me any hope?
Q. Right, there's a girl that I like, she's been dating a guy that I've been told was messing her around. She put it on the line to him and said that she doesn't want to be messed around any more and his reply was 'I do like you' so I don't know if h...
A. 12 September 2015: "I do like you" does not mean they are exclusive. It's used a lot for casual guys who offer positive remarks without promising anything. Did she tell you that's what he said? She's hesitating because she has feelings for him, and is afraid of losing ... (read in full...)
He says he's ''comfortable'' with me. I'm seriously conflicted. What can I do?
Q. I am seriously conflicted by my man. My guy and I have been living together for almost a 1 1/2 years now, I love him but I am doubting if I do or not because although he says that he is comfortable with me. I can't relax knowing he's not in love...
A. 12 September 2015: Let's examine what it means to be in love and what it takes for a person to be able to feel in love. Is he in perfect health and is he happy with where he is in life, like financially and not too much baggage in the past? For example, a diabetic ... (read in full...)
Did losing my virginity so late in life mess me up?
Q. LOSING MY VIRGINITY I was 38 when I lost my virginity but I always wanted to lose it sooner. I was very shy and never met anyone that could help me lose it, as one would need another person to accomplish this. Ever since I was about 13, I got ...
A. 12 September 2015: Your anxiety and your diabetes is related. Something about your blood sugar level and cortisol together with medicine usage. It's not that if you had had sex earlier in your life, then all would be glorious. It's true that life is more than sex and ... (read in full...)
How can I let someone in my group know I am attracted to them without making it awkward for the group, him, or me?
Q. I run a small event group that goes out and explores different attractions around the city. I have a few regular attendees... one of which I am quite attracted to. We just get along so well, so easily. Long story short, I would really like to h...
A. 12 September 2015: Guys are worried about looking desperate and creepy too. Attraction is a subtle thing. You feel it but are not too sure about it. there's a suspense which makes it exciting. If you announce it, it's awkward and it pressures him to feel the same way ... (read in full...)
Is my friend (rightfully) angry since she hasn’t answered my email for days?
Q. A decade ago my hubby and I moved to one of the most beautiful and touristic cities in Europe. We knew that our friends would visit. And they did. One more than others, let’s call her K. She’s smart, witty, sociable, makes friends easily … and she ...
A. 12 September 2015: I read this yesterday but was keyboard wasn't working. I read this again to see if my opinion changed, but it didn't. Since you described her so well, witty, charming, socialable, it felt wrong to say that she is a "user-friendly" friend, but she ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want more experience?
Q. Is it wrong to want more experience? Hi. I am Amy and I am 20 years old. I have been with by bf Ken for about 8 months and we have been having sex for about 6 months. Ken is the first adult man I have ever had sex with. He is 25 and has had othe...
A. 12 September 2015: I hear the same excuse that men use to avoid a threesome, that the world can be a dangerous place. He's thinking that his friend is someone who he can trust and would not steal you away. He feel he loses if you go out with a stranger, but gains if ... (read in full...)
Why do you suppose he wouldn't suggest another meeting outside of his work situation?
Q. Here's what's happening. Friends wanted to set me up with a friend of theirs. The guy texted me and asked me if I'd like to come to his place of work to meet up for a drink. (He tends bar part time and has a professional job during the day.) I ...
A. 11 September 2015: Because the only time he's off work, he's sleeping. People who need friends to set dates up are those who have trouble finding partners themselves. He's probably the kind who complains to his friends that he got no time to meet women, or women have ... (read in full...)
How can I get over this silly, school girl crush?
Q. Hi there. So I think my friend has feelings for me, and it's kind of a sticky situation because he's not only my friend, but my boyfriend's friend as well. I'm in a happy relationship of 3 years with a wonderful guy who treats me well. He has a b...
A. 10 September 2015: Oh you are not going to like my answer, which is stay away from this friend. This is a classic case of three is a crowd, or the grass is greener on the other side. You flirt enough to get your needs met for attention, but not enough to be considered ... (read in full...)
To say goodbye? Should I simply leave now?
Q. I had an one night stand two months ago. Fast forward and we have decided to go long distance, as I moved abroad for a semester. He's my worse nightmare. I cannot believe how much I came to like him. I want to be with him long enough to say "I...
A. 9 September 2015: I think you know what reality is. Some people take their time to break up, waiting for the pain to subside. Others do it quick, like ripping to the bandaid. In both relationships and in cases of physical injury, I take my time but I find it hard to ... (read in full...)
I can't let him go and I'm having trouble detaching from my ex. What should I do?
Q. I was with my ex-fiance for 3 years. He had rage issues which caused me to leave. He would pound his fists into his own head (very hard) in anger at me, he'd scream at me, etc but he never actually hit me. I was sad and felt trapped at times, b...
A. 7 September 2015: Missing an ex is normal and is part of the grieving process. Refusing contact does not mean he's moving on fast. He can only move on if he stops talking to you. You should do the same too. You would think being friends would ease the guilt but it ... (read in full...)
I love him completely and I'm scared he doesn't feel the same way. What can I do?
Q. Hi, I'm feeling really down at the moment and I just need some help about what I should do. Thanks for any replies :) I'll try and make it short.. So me and this guy have know each other for almost 6 years now. We've had a casual on off re...
A. 6 September 2015: I hate to tell people the difference between infatuation and true love. For a relationship to work, you need both elements of excitement and stability. A guy who travels a lot would not even think about serious relationships. A hug and kiss does not ... (read in full...)
I can't let him go and I'm having trouble detaching from my ex. What should I do?
Q. I was with my ex-fiance for 3 years. He had rage issues which caused me to leave. He would pound his fists into his own head (very hard) in anger at me, he'd scream at me, etc but he never actually hit me. I was sad and felt trapped at times, b...
A. 6 September 2015: Maybe the thing you are missing is that intense, engulfing love that he seemed to deliver. You are feeling empty after you were used to the highs and lows. It's possible that one day he would crawl back to you begging for another chance and that is ... (read in full...)
Craig's list. Should I trust his explanations? Or is he talking BS?
Q. I'm going to provide a lot of background to this, but my questions are ultimately: - Is what my ex said all just BS? - How common is this problem? - Have non-married couples recovered from this successfully? - Is this issue really related to por...
A. 6 September 2015: This is not a man I would bother with, or move in together. But to answer your questions. Addiction is a powerful force. No matter if it's porn, alcohol, or ego boost, it takes over so it makes a give-and-take relationship impossible. He might try ... (read in full...)
He owes me over $5000 US and he's full of excuses and says he can't live without me. What should I do?
Q. I am a British expat in Asia. I met my current boyfriend in an Asian city. He was unemployed so I let him live with me rent free and I also paid for everything: food, his clothes, watch etc, basically everything. He had promised that from the ...
A. 6 September 2015: Sounds like you have a horrible story that but what you had just described the real state of world affairs, where people can't keep up with the promise to pay back loans which led to the collapse of the central bank. You, eager to love in this ... (read in full...)
What message should I send with a bouquet of flowers?
Q. There's a girl that lives in my village that I like, she's been kind of seeing a player, from what I've heard on the grapevine, he's unreliable and just likes to party. anyway, I'm a pretty romantic kind of a guy, that's just how I am, and I'm ...
A. 6 September 2015: This would sound like an 80's movie but I definitely still appreciate romantic gestures. I actually had that done to me last year at my work place and my co workers were like ooh and aah. Chivalry is not dead. The message should be like, you hope ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before I ask him if he sees any possibility of us having a proper romantic relationship in the future?
Q. Over the past couple of months I have been out with a guy every week or so - meals, days out. We always have a lot of fun and lots of laughter. About a year before we met, he had come out of a very long relationship. So when we first met we agr...
A. 6 September 2015: You can just ask if you are the only woman he is seeing. There is always a possibility so the answer is yes. A candlelit dinner is a serious thing so I guess that conversation would unfold naturally without you asking. If he doesn't talk about ... (read in full...)
Is my sister-in-law's behavior normal? Shouldn't she respect our matrimonial bed/home? Why doesn't my husband see any wrong in her actions?
Q. I am in my second year of marriage. My husband is the last born and the only boy. In our first year of marriage his eldest sister (42year old - unmarried) was at our house every day of the weekend. She would arrive at 7am in the morning while we ...
A. 6 September 2015: Your husband is hiding some secrets. The following would be strong accusations but would suggest why she's acting the way she does. Either they've had incest or she was sexually assaulted by another family member. She has anxiety being alone in the ... (read in full...)
His looking up his ex is a problem in our relationship
Q. My boyfriend looks up his ex when he's having a rough day. We've had problems relating to her before and it has made me insecure so sometimes I snoop. I trust him and I know he's not going to hook up with her or anything but I worry about what this ...
A. 5 September 2015: If I wanted to look up my ex, that would be because I want to confirm my suspicion that me ex is still a loser and the break up was because of his faults. Others have different reasons. Such as to look up who they are dating, whether the new ... (read in full...)
The relationship with my b/f cooled faster than I expected, and I'm attracted to a girlfriend!
Q. I've only let a couple of my close friends know about the situation I'm going through right now, and I felt I really needed some outside advice. I'm a female that's been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now. In the beginning, i...
A. 5 September 2015: I think most relationships eventually end up with dinner and movies as quality time. Couples who are lucky and have enough money saved up would go on vacation once a year. However if I had no choice but to become a weekend girlfriend, it would be ... (read in full...)
Do I take the ex back? Or move on to a guy who is sincere with me?
Q. i have been dating this guy from past 5 years and have been in long distance relationship. in last one year we have been through rough patch and had broken up and we hadn't even met in last one year. The reason for breakup was because things w...
A. 1 September 2015: I would also hate to marry an ex for the reason being, he doesn't want the new guy to have you. What a horrible way to start life together. Who can be sure that he's really going to marry you? Instead he could be just saying it to cause a break up ... (read in full...)
I need advice about my daughter's boyfriend please ?
Q. Hi there, I need advice please about my daughter's boyfriend. First of all, a bit of background info. re. my daughter. We now have no family at all - no aunts, uncles, grandfather's etc. No one. It has been this way for many years and, before t...
A. 1 September 2015: I am almost 35. I would prefer not to talk about relationships with mom but if she gives me advice, she's always right although I know it myself already. Is a man who is rude to mother in law really good for your daughter? Does that coldness ... (read in full...)
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