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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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He wants more sex but I'm exhausted
Q. Hi all - I need advice. How often do happy couples have sex? I am in an on again off again relationship with a guy for 3 years. We just got back together in late October - early Nov. Within the last 3 weeks, he brought up that he wants more sex...
A. 14 December 2015: A happiness of a couple is not determined by the quantity of sex. It's mainly how you treat each other inside and outside of the bedroom, also how flexible you are when you don't feel up for it.
You shouldn't have gotten back together with him.... (read in full...)
How can I get experience when everything seems against me?
Q. I'm a male virgin who's never kissed a girl and I've never been on a date. I'm don't have a particularly attractive face, I'm overweight and bald, and I'm an awkward quiet nerd. I was recently talking a girl that I was interested in pursuing a re...
A. 14 December 2015: That girl just wanted to talk about sex. On the first few dates the conversation topic should not be about sex. If she could deduce that you were a virgin she shouldn't be surprised and ask you how come. She avoided you maybe because there's not ... (read in full...)
She plays hard to get, but what's this woman trying to accomplish?
Q. My work just keeps getting interesting with these cougars. So there's this good looking one who likes to play hard to get but then again if there's a work function she's always standing close to me OR the really weird part she makes sure she chat...
A. 13 December 2015: She's implying if she wants some fun, that person would be you but it's hard because people would talk. If your question is to do it or not, I would say no but it's flattering that she likes you as a coworker. Maybe she's not bitchy with you because ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend mentioned an FFM as a 'passing thought' and now I'm worried he's tired of me
Q. Just trying to understand where my boyfriend is coming from. When he came to see me yesterday he was mentioning seeing two women together. How he was thinking about why men would find it appealing. He said that men like to see women climax. An...
A. 12 December 2015: You are overreacting. He was thinking about the hype of threesomes and he referred people as "they", like he has nothing to do with that. I am sure there are boyfriends who pester girlfriends about threesomes but I don't see your boyfriend as that ... (read in full...)
Will it be a huge turnoff to girls to find out I'm a virgin?
Q. To begin things im just gonna say that im a virgin...well i had girlfriends before but im kind of the emotional attachment old school kind of guy so i dated a girl for 6 months and still didnt have sex. Even though i dated i always respected a girl ...
A. 12 December 2015: There is a difference between respecting a girl and not being interested in sex. You may be somewhat asexual and should find a girl equally disinterested. There are different degrees to it. Some people will kiss hold hands, but will not have sex. ... (read in full...)
What do I do? I really want out at the moment but we have a lot of commitments.
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 years. We have recently had a child and are pretty settled but have had our arguments in the past. We were also seeing each other before the 4 years for maybe 4 months. Any way to the problem, maybe 3 ...
A. 11 December 2015: It was no big deal that they went for a drink, possibly stayed over, close to the time you got together. Then you said if you had known it you would have ended it.
I am not sure what your feeling is. It seems like you have a conflict about what... (read in full...)
Will it be a huge turnoff to girls to find out I'm a virgin?
Q. To begin things im just gonna say that im a virgin...well i had girlfriends before but im kind of the emotional attachment old school kind of guy so i dated a girl for 6 months and still didnt have sex. Even though i dated i always respected a girl ...
A. 11 December 2015: I am not turned off by someone who never had sex, but by the mere fact that make a big deal out of it. For some people, sex has nothing to do with respect. Your body wants it, her body wants it. If a relationship doesn't result from that, it's all ... (read in full...)
What do I do? I really want out at the moment but we have a lot of commitments.
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 years. We have recently had a child and are pretty settled but have had our arguments in the past. We were also seeing each other before the 4 years for maybe 4 months. Any way to the problem, maybe 3 ...
A. 10 December 2015: Here, "doesn't remember" means she didn't want to talk about it, better than saying none of your business. I wouldn't pry into people's emails but if you found nothing during the 4 years' relationship even if you feel she deleted some, then you ... (read in full...)
Not over her, yet. How can I stop comparing every girl I date to my first love??
Q. Its been 2.5 years since my last girlfriend left me for her high school love. We dated for over a year and she was the best girlfriend I ever had. She was perfect in all ways and for the first time the spark was there till the last week she dumped ...
A. 10 December 2015: No one is perfect. A special girl can love you perfectly but she will still have flaws, naturally. Maybe you are avoiding intimacy using the reason that no one is better than your ex. What you have to change is this belief, which is a defeatist, and ... (read in full...)
How do I ask him why he's on a dating website?
Q. Been with my boyfriend for a little over 4 months however we've known each other for a few years. Been really close lately he's spent time with my family and a few days at my house a couple times (at least) each week. However I've been really busy ...
A. 8 December 2015: He is still on a dating site because he has no faith that your relationship can continue. He can't stand being alone without anyone to lined up for next. He feels embarrassed that after he closes one account and believes he has a relationship, then ... (read in full...)
I think he's interested but just very shy, should I tell him I'm interested too?
Q. I really like this guy.. I met him a couple of years ago through a mutual friend. Then we ended up having a class together at university. We became really good friends in that class, despite him having a serious girlfriend at that time. Since that ...
A. 8 December 2015: You can guess and fill in the blanks for him. He's single so he can kiss other people, sext other people without cheating. He's single so he can start another relationship with you. He's single just as a fact, and nothing else. There's definitely a ... (read in full...)
I'm nobody's favourite - how can I cope?
Q. I'm so depressed right now. I'm living in an Asian family who show definite signs of favouritism among son and daughter. My parent are also feminist. They give large portion of their assets to my brother. They prepared his future so well. Sometim...
A. 8 December 2015: If your parents give money to their son but not daughter, then I can't call them feminists. Money can't buy happiness. A brother who takes advantage of this inequality is a sad little miser. Anytime you see siblings fighting over legacy, or feeling ... (read in full...)
I've been told I'm proud, why can't I change?
Q. Hello cupids, I have posted on this forum about being called proud. But I would like to remain anonymous right now. I am at the brink of breaking down as I type this. I have a strong personality and I am self reliant. I would not do what people s...
A. 8 December 2015: I showed my mom her natal chart after typing in her birthdate, year and time. The first sentence was, you are arrogantly proud. My mom said, fuck. She did not disagree.
I don't think there's anything wrong with being proud, provided you are more... (read in full...)
My husband was addicted to porn and it has ruined our relationship.
Q. I am 29, I have 3 children and with my husband 11 years, married nearly 3 years. My relationship has been hell for nearly 3 years. It all started when my husband got a private lap dance on his stag night. I know it sounds relatively minor...
A. 7 December 2015: Like other addictions such as drugs, alcohol and gambling, porn has no place in a marriage. If you can't save your marriage, at least save your self esteem. One more thing you can add to your counselling list, is to stop thinking his addiction is ... (read in full...)
Gay men flirt with my boyfriend in front of me and he likes the attention
Q. We have been together a year and a half. We have a good relationship and sex life.He seems attracted to me and he's very physically affectionate. He says he's in love with me and wants to have children get married all that fairy tale stuff. ...
A. 7 December 2015: Straight, gay or bisexual, he sounds so full on himself. Even if he's totally straight, his excessive need for admiration would cause him trouble. He would be fishing for compliments and flirt with women.
You would notice he only does this with... (read in full...)
I hate faking it -- why can't I get off through intercourse?
Q. Hi I'm 31 and I have been sexually active for over 10 years. I've had three long term partners and then a handful of one night stands back at the start. I've only ever orgasmed through sex or otherwise about 3-5 times. And they were clitoral an...
A. 7 December 2015: A squirting orgasm is possible but it requires lots of work. With a vibrating toy I am able to orgasm easily. For a woman, an orgasm ranges everything from a pleasant sensation, a wave, to a loud Oh followed by shivering all over. For a man it's ... (read in full...)
Dated for 2 years. How can I reignite the spark we had before?
Q. Hi everyone, Five years ago I met my best friend, and three years into our friendship we decided to get into a relationship. After two years as a really strong couple and he decided to end things. Until now, it was a near-perfect relationshi...
A. 7 December 2015: He wants you as a friend in his life but would continue to date other people. Long distance doesn't work for him because it's frustrating unless there is marriage and living together at a set date. You can try not arguing but that means you would be ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable with my no contact request?
Q. Hi my partner and I separated for some time. During that time he began a sexual relationship with a woman for about 4 weeks. We have now got back together again and I have asked him to stop all contact with her. He makes excuses and fobs me off ...
A. 7 December 2015: No you are not being unreasonable. His refusal to stop contact just shows you how he's not eager to work things out with you. He still wants her on the side in case your relationship doesn't work out again. If you don't want to get back with him ... (read in full...)
I want to be at a dating point where women are in abundance
Q. After a night out, I realized some things about my future with women. We went out for a close friends birthday and had dinner with 20+ friends. Then we went to a club/bar in the city where much of our med school was there. I had fun dancing with my ...
A. 7 December 2015: Women are in abundance but the ones that are kind are rare. I don't think there is anything effeminate or subordinate in holding a friend's pizza, like if she has a phone call, or she dropped something on the floor she had to pick up. If your so ... (read in full...)
Ladies: If a man sprinkled rose petals at your feet would you have kept them?
Q. Last night spent a night with the woman I've been seeing for about four months, watch the football game together, she really likes football, am a romantic kind of guy, well this morning, ihad her put on a CD, of George Strait, cross my heart, when ...
A. 6 December 2015: Oh no, you have been written about this for a while. You said she doesn't have time for you. I like flowers myself. It's just that it has to be the right person doing this. Maybe she's not looking for long term, but just someone to kill time, to ... (read in full...)
If my boyfriend really missed me would he be that relaxed?
Q. Dear Cupid, My ex boyfriend was very controlling and so he would count to minute how long I was gone with my friends, even in afternoon My boyfriend now, and just as an example I texted him yesterday to let him know I was going to get sushi wi...
A. 6 December 2015: You feel off because you are not used to the peacefulness of a normal relationship. Yes, you can miss someone and feel relaxed. There's deep trust that an independent person does not go cheat when they are out. What you had with your ex was not ... (read in full...)
Her daughter is a nightmare at bedtime! Ideas on how to deal with her?
Q. I'm in a relationship with a lovely woman who has a 9 year old daughter whom I absolutely adore. She is a great kid, but has quite a problem when it comes to bedtime. And it is driving my gf completely insane to the point she is at her wits end. ...
A. 26 November 2015: This reminds me of an episode of Super nanny. The girl is the same age and would not sleep. The ritual of carrying her to bed, walking her back to bed continued 20 some times that she finally fell asleep, but at 12. It's a failure so I don't even ... (read in full...)
He said he's, "marrying me because I want it and he doesn't".Is marriage still a good idea, in the circumstances?
Q. Im 28 years old and yave been with my boyfriend for 13 years. We have a 10 year old and a 6 year old. We are best friends and cant be away from each other for more than a few hours a day. We are in love. He never proposed but gave me a ring on my 2...
A. 24 November 2015: I think in this case you have to read between the lines. Some people are not good at expressing themselves. When they have fear, anxiety, frustration, their first instinct is to blame other people. In reality he could be worried that he can not be ... (read in full...)
I lashed out at him. He says we are done. What should I do?
Q. I lashed out to my boyfriend for the 3rd time after a party again and now we are broken up. I lashed at him about his daughter but Ive been very stressed with him for the past couple of weeks. He just has not been nice to me and I was going to...
A. 24 November 2015: There's no age indicated by I am guessing he's just over thirty, you are a little bit younger and his daughter is about 8. There are different fighting styles, and different cultures have their own. Some people prefer to vent everything, engage in ... (read in full...)
I wonder if he misses sleeping with other women
Q. Hi, I'm just looking for a bit of outside advice really. I am jealous of things that my boyfriend is doing, I cannot stop, some weeks are fine, others are not. I don't know if I should end it because I am jealous and I hate feeling like thi...
A. 24 November 2015: You are not happy with being back seat. You just tolerated it because you know he's a traveller and his career is important. Your arguments are probably a result from frustrations of not having your needs met. When he says he misses sleeping with ... (read in full...)
I've been with him for almost 3 months, and I am struggling with the lack of sex. Advice?
Q. I have been with my new boyfriend now for almost 3 months now. We met at work and he has been like a breath of fresh air since the last relationship I had was a seriously abusive one. Emotionally we get on pretty great, he treats me well and is kind ...
A. 24 November 2015: Rape is a serious issue. It affects how people feel about sex forever. To say he is bisexual is an understatement. If he was attracted to you before and you look the same now, then the problem is not your attractiveness. How we feel about sex is ... (read in full...)
He thinks I'm sleeping with someone else. I find his remarks offensive. What reply to him is appropriate?
Q. I met up with my children's father today. We have not been getting on as there is a real communication problem and I find it a turn off. I feel like I do not know him. We have never lived together which has also been a problem as I have just had...
A. 23 November 2015: He's a baby daddy. Not boyfriend or husband. So he has no right to touch your breast as if he owns you and even if you are sleeping with someone else it's not his business unless your child was there too.
If he wants to be intimate with you, then... (read in full...)
If I was as happy as I thought, would I be wondering all about my ex?
Q. I really hope someone can help me to understand why im feeling like this. I had a pretty bad relationship a couple of years ago, we started off as friends and things got off to a great start and were pretty perfect for the first year but then som...
A. 23 November 2015: Because you have a kind nature and hate the thought that you don't give people second chances. It felt cruel to you. What your boyfriend said triggered your protective nature and it felt awful you can't give your love to him. You have to let your ex ... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into this?? Should I just back off?
Q. Have a question, for the lady's, been seeing a woman over two month's, seeing each other once a week, it's really good, feel's great. I know she has family an friends, needs her alone time, but girl's if you really like a guy, are you content,...
A. 23 November 2015: If I am a woman I would not be content with once a week meetings. I would keep quiet for the first 2 months but if nothing changes after a year I will complain. Every woman is different but sometimes you have to care about your needs and your ... (read in full...)
Did I ruin the friendship? I'm in love with my male best friend
Q. To cut a long story short, I'm in love with my male best friend. We've known each other 8 years and were close.. I came onto him a few weeks ago and we ended up having sex and now all these feelings have suddenly come from nowhere. We used to tex...
A. 23 November 2015: Sex is not something so bad that you have to apologize for. After all he consented to it too and you were both tempted by passion and curiosity. 8 years is a long time to be crushing on someone. If you didn't have sex then you still wouldn't have ... (read in full...)
I've come to the conclusion I'm just not interested in my boyfriend
Q. I want to break up with my two-month-old boyfriend because I realised I do not like him the way I thought I did. He was diagnosed TB a week ago and was checked into the hospital. I didn't want to visit him at all not because I was afraid I'd catch ...
A. 22 November 2015: I wouldn't even call him boyfriend. A boyfriend is someone you see potential future with. It's taken you 2 months to realize you can't continue, so there's no shame and there shouldn't be difficulty explaining this. Your reasons for ending it make a ... (read in full...)
I don't want my being a virgin to put him off
Q. I am 22 and haven't had much luck with men, I always seem to fall for the wrong guy and I guess I just haven't met Mr Right. I've been on tinder for about 18 months, been on about 6 dates and have had mixed feelings about them all. I have finally ...
A. 22 November 2015: Being a virgin does not put a man off. Maybe for the wrong guy because he feels you would be too serious right away and he can't make your first time special. Although some players love the idea of taking a girl's virginity. I think you should wait ... (read in full...)
Just how serious is he about our relationship? Or am I reading too much into these Thanksgiving "complications"?
Q. So I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for about 4 months. We are going at a good pace. We live 50 minutes apart so we see each other here and there. I have met his parents, sibling, a set of grandparents, and even neighbor...
A. 22 November 2015: At 4 months, it's hard to tell if you are going to be with each other forever. Bringing partners to a family dinner is a statement that you are part of each other's lives, to that extent.
Some people are more casual about it, and their parents are ... (read in full...)
I am worried about his behavior towards me since he took my virginity.
Q. hello, i just want to know what to do with my current situation. Am years and he was 21 years. I have been with him friend for nine months and he was the one that deflowered me. my family and his knows everything about relationship. he called me on ...
A. 20 November 2015: Lucy is his other girlfriend and it sounds like they knew each other before you. It was not a set up. He was dating both of you at the same time. His cheating got busted by Lucy and she forced him to stop talking to you. You are innocent in this but ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance that my FWB likes me as more but is being cool about it?
Q. So basically there's a guy who I've been seeing well we're friends with benefits and he said he doesn't like me more thn a mate, but he made an effort to take me out for my birthday and bought me a present which he would never do, so this is the ...
A. 20 November 2015: Friends and benefits is not widely accepted in society even if it's being practiced commonly. People still look at you strange if you were to say to others, "this is my friends with benefit." It's still seen as something shameful, like you don't ... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend secretly want her personal trainer (PT) ?
Q. Hi all, I've been dating my girlfriend for about 4 months. She has been working out with her PT for about 8 months. Initially I thought nothing of it just good things as one would normally expect. However over time I'm getting more uncomforta...
A. 20 November 2015: Maybe you are trying to find the cold hard fact of whether she cheated, yes or no, so you can walk out. Whenever partners become too close and flirty to people of opposite sex and there's no proof that they crossed the physical boundaries, it's hard ... (read in full...)
She's dating me but seeing 2 other guys for just sex
Q. So, I have been seeing a lovely woman for about a month. We get on extremely well and have alot of fun,we have tons in common and love nearby. We laugh like crazy and there's never a dull moment or awkward silences. She texts me every day from ...
A. 20 November 2015: Technically she can use that "we are not even official" as a reason to do whatever she wants. The heart does not care about technicality. I would say even with men with hearts like stone would have a problem with this. She might think honesty builds ... (read in full...)
I'd be willing to start a real relationship with him, not a FWB, however he says he won't ever get married because it will affect his sex life!
Q. I had a relationship with a guy over 25 years ago. He was very special to me and my first love. We split up and bearly saw each other until a couple of months ago. We went out for dinner and the chemistry between us was very intense. We tal...
A. 19 November 2015: He's a determined bachelor and it sounds like you two still want different things. He prioritizes sex life over everything else. He does not want anything to do with your children, your in laws, or anything that disrupts his freedom. Ironically men ... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking or did he just use me for sex?
Q. Hey everyone so i started talking to this guy awhile ago we have hung out a total of 4 times. he seemed like a really nice guy he was always telling me im beautiful or pretty and he said that he really likes me. Friday i stayed the night with him ...
A. 18 November 2015: Writings on facebook could be vague. Since you didn't want to talk about it why not change your status to something else, without referring to relationships. Let him wonder if it's him or if he's overthinking it too. After some days you will both ... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking or did he just use me for sex?
Q. Hey everyone so i started talking to this guy awhile ago we have hung out a total of 4 times. he seemed like a really nice guy he was always telling me im beautiful or pretty and he said that he really likes me. Friday i stayed the night with him ...
A. 18 November 2015: You were overthinking. You thought that because there was no conversation after Friday it meant he forgot about you and moved on. If he loved had talking to you then he would still love talking to you after sex. He could be doing other things on the ... (read in full...)
Too scared to leave him alone in case he emotionally hurts me again. What do I do?
Q. I'm stuck in a situation that has me emotionally drained and I feel totally paralysed mentally. So I moved 3 months ago to a new city with my partner.This year has been really tough for me because my partner lied to me, hurt me and completely broke ...
A. 18 November 2015: You should never put your life on hold or revolve your life around a man, especially a man who you can't trust. 3 days out of a month is nothing. It sounds like you are the only one rowing the boat too. It's possible to juggle a job, education and ... (read in full...)
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