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I want my wife to be a hotwife and go to bed with our friend

Tagged as: Friends, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 August 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 8 August 2015)
A male United States age , *cgnOregon writes:

I would love for my wife to go to bed with a friend of ours, she has flirted with him and he sure finds her hot.I find it a big turn on thinking about her going to bed with him. Is that normal and how can I convince her it is OK with me?

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A male reader, Bb82 United Kingdom +, writes (8 August 2015):

I recently had an experience with my wife and another guy and it has really put pressure on our relationship. She let him do an act she has always refused with me. Be careful with what you decide.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2015):

Seen it, done it, had the burnt fingers, You are playing a dangerous game but of course you know this, this is part of the thrill, But remember the reality, 'hot wife' can cool with you.

It's actually quite boring in the end, not all what the imagination let's you believe. It's not hot when the woman looses part of her self in YOUR fantasy.

Your wife is already PREPPING herself for the 'let it'just happen naturally strategy' this buys her time to adapt to your fantasy , but the rules say NO ATTACHMENT...you will have ground rules already laid out, and to play your fantasy out she has to remain within the rules of the game.

Ground rules won't always work, as you reassure her this will prove your love for each other.

Result, could go a number of way's both good and bad or extremely bad.

We are still together and i learnt that FANTASY can take you any where and this FANTASY did not make me hot,it made me cold inside and untrue to myself, I fell asleep.

fantasy makes you sleep to REAL life and its beauty, the things that really matter, not planning how to not wear knickers, and reveal the physical, recording to relive.

This fantasy is long worn out and it's not enough.

Good Luck anyway especially to your wife, and i do hope she finds reality when she's lost in YOUR fantasy...i bet you brought it to the next stage. I am not been horrible to you it's just a pathway that leads to nowhere interesting in the end.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2015):

Don't do it! I was the "other guy" on several occasions, and I'm sure that our spicy dalliances were partially responsible for them getting a divorce. It might seem like an exciting fantasy in your mind but things don't always work out in real life scenarios. These cuckold fantasies often result in irreparable damage to the relationship. Keep it in your fantasy realm but don't act it out.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (3 August 2015):

janniepeg agony auntMy husband dirty talks that way too in bed. It is just a fantasy and it's to get him to stay hard. A common issue for men is to keep things exciting, and thinking, "how do you do that when you keep fishing the same fish every day?" You may think your wife is still hot at her age, but in reality a woman does not get dolled up every day for your disposal. Visual stimulant is direct to your arousal. If you rely on sexual fetishes for fulfillment, then you will step up the excitement time and time again, until it escalates to something dangerous. And it's quite high maintenance too, to manufacture porn fantasies every time to keep sex exciting.

What I tell my husband when things get boring is that we stop sex (we are talking about cutting frequency from daily to 2 or 3 times a week) for a while, until natural desires come up. I refuse to have sex when I know he's going to go limp. It is also important that you focus on the emotional aspect like you did when you are first dating. You can never lose but win with great quality love making in a marriage. I am experienced in sex and I couldn't care less about my orgasms. They are not what keeps me in a marriage.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2015):

it is not hot for your wife to have sex with your friend..it is a remarkably thoughtless request that will have heading for the divorce courts.What comes next?Are you all gonna share childcare commitments and soccer together. If your wife flirts with your friend she is not expecting to go to bed with him she is just wanting you to think you have a great wife, but you plan to dtag her name through the muck and treat her like s sexual commodity is going to shatter that pleasant notion that she has a husband she can rely on .She also wont want you two chatting down the pub about her bits and bobs , she just wants you to be notmal men and instead of offering her up to yourbest mate she would prefer you to respect her.

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A male reader, bcgnOregon United States +, writes (3 August 2015):

bcgnOregon is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you "Garbo" We love each other for many more reasons other than sex, however sex is an important element of life and neither of us is ignorant of the others desires and fetishes. It is important to me to see her excited and fulfilled and she loves the look on my face when I see her all dolled up and the center of attention. After a fun night out dancing and meeting people our fun in the bedroom can't be matched.

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A male reader, bcgnOregon United States +, writes (3 August 2015):

bcgnOregon is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you "Notsohappy", I truly appreciate your input. We have discussed this at length over the past few years. I have no intention of pushing her into anything and as we have discussed, she realizes how much it turns me on to watch her flirt and dance and so on with other men but she says it is not something that she is comfortable with planning it has to just "happen" I hope that makes sense.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (3 August 2015):

Garbo agony auntQuestioning the moral validity of ones action often means that there is something wrong with the action. So, if you are asking is it normal then that means that probably it isn't. Same about your wife: if you have to convince her in doing it, it probably means that she really does not want to do it.

You may want to ask her why she flirts with that guy in the first place. Also, if you are driven by a sexual impulse to pawn off your wife unto some other man, you may want to examine the purpose as to why you are married in the first place and why would you want to stay married to her for the next 34,40... years. Once you evaluate and understand that purpose, I think you will have easier time making your decision about this sexual fetish.

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