A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have just started seeing someone but I am finding myself a little wary of his actions. I trust him yet I don't think I do. For example last week he said he was going to watch a film at 9pm and said night. I thought that was odd because why the night? I think he went out with his friends on that night but I don't know I keep having niggles in the back of my mind.I get invested in people but I don't want him to hurt me, so I'm a little upset here. I am falling for him but these niggles are adding up, more examples but don't want to bore you all. Ideas? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's true. I did assume wrongly.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 July 2015):
 You've just started seeing the guy, did he say you and he were exclusive? If not you should never assume it. There is nothing wrong with dating two people at the same time as long as you are clear about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2015): Sorry to hear that. There you go. You were right. Cut all contact with him andgo through the pain barrier. It will hurt, but you will be glad you did it in the end. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTurned out he's got me and another on the go!!!! now struggling to delete him because I want him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2015): I would say go with your gut instinct, although that does not mean he IS cheating, but you need to get to the bottom of what's making you feel like this
Why not ask him in a casual or jokey way if he is still dating other girls?.or bring up the subject of cheating in a round about way and see what his views are and what jis reaction is. I hope it gets clear for you asap so you can start trusting him, or move on if yoir fears are confirmed
Good luck. ;-)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2015): Take it slow..if you have just recently come out of a dubious relationship then naturally you would have trust issues.You dont want to bounce from one guy to another, so take it slowly.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (26 July 2015):
 He said good night because after the film it would be 11 and he concluded the night before the movie. You think being hyper vigilant can protect you. There are many good guys out there. You are always preparing for the worst, that he would cheat on you. But that possibility is not zero and worrying is not going to change the guy. So instead of being shocked and unprepared you are going to hurt your mind every day thinking of the worst.
Think back when you've never dated a guy and did not have trust issues. That's the state you need to get back into. We can never stop cheaters from entering our lives, but if you have to live every day worrying the relationship is not worth it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2015): Its too early to know if youre falling for him because you dont know him well enough to know much about him.So technically you cant just go into this with blind trust, you should go in eyes wide open. Blind trust is not a good attribute and your subconcsious does not want you to believe it is a good attribute because it is not.You can trust someone after they have earned your loyalty by being honest reliable and straightforwards about things but not without this prior back ground of reliability. People who want you to trust them on first meeting and first conversation are asking too much because trust builds over time.So don't dislike yourself for having niggles because in a way you are depth sounding.Saying "night " or goodnight is just a commonplace expression without a great deal of meaning like bye or by-by.It doesnt necessarily mean you"ll be going to sleepy by-bys and he' ll be going out.It just means end of conversation.To trust yourself means you are fairly confident of what you want,how you intend to get it, and what it means to you so that you have more certainty about your purpose then people know where they stand with you.Like being able to say " I'd never get in a car with strangers..I'd sooner call a cab." Maybe its all just semantics but you probably get some idea of what it means. Don't let people be vague around you or push your boundaries.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2015): if you have no actual proof then maybe it is all in your head have you been cheated on in the past for example it would explain why you are finding it hard to trust him I would wait and see if there is any proof baefore saying anything to him as you could ruin a perfectly good relationship with this man
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