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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Too scared to leave him alone in case he emotionally hurts me again. What do I do?
Q. I'm stuck in a situation that has me emotionally drained and I feel totally paralysed mentally. So I moved 3 months ago to a new city with my partner.This year has been really tough for me because my partner lied to me, hurt me and completely broke ...
A. 18 November 2015: You should never put your life on hold or revolve your life around a man, especially a man who you can't trust. 3 days out of a month is nothing. It sounds like you are the only one rowing the boat too. It's possible to juggle a job, education and ... (read in full...)
What needs to happen to effect some improvement in our marriage?
Q. Dear cupid, It's been 3 years since we married, and we are together for about 6 years. I confess I wasn't very thrilled when she pressured me to get married. I guess I don't see the point in one getting married when a stable and healthy relat...
A. 16 November 2015: You can't go back in time and propose to her at your own will with no prompting. Now, she knows that getting married does not help her self esteem issues. Don't go into any heated discussion because love can not be proven by knowing all the answers, ... (read in full...)
Has he lied to me again about what he really said to this girl?
Q. I posted here last week about my boyfriend allowing this girl to pick off off his plate, take the cherry from his drink etc. Both myself and boyfriend's sister in law spoke to him telling him it's wrong, that he shouldn't have allowed it. He said ...
A. 16 November 2015: Actually I would be mad at both. Your boyfriend enjoyed the pseudo closeness of this girl. This girl may have a crush on him and was flirting with him. If she has to be told why this is inappropriate, she is either playing dumb or is socially ... (read in full...)
My thoughts are that he can't be sexually satisfying because he has a small penis. What should I do? He's perfect otherwise.
Q. Hi, So this is quite difficult to write so bare with me. And please, I know this sounds shallow, but I'm not trying to be. Basically I recently ended a relationship with a guy (only 2 months) because he was a complete asshole to me. I mean r...
A. 15 November 2015: Women do like the engulfed feeling down there. If there's a product men can wear, like a penis coat made of silicone that adds inches and girth, then the company would make a lot of money. Women put on bras with pads to increase cup size, so why ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex want to be friends with me and still want me in his life? He treated me very badly.
Q. My ex use to manipulate me a lot! I felt used, was treated badly and finally walked away after a terrible breakdown from the relationship. My ex tried to reach out to me many times and I ignored him. we didn't talk for 3 years. But we made up t...
A. 15 November 2015: He was upset that you broke up with him so he uses his new girlfriend to piss you off and second guess your decision. If he cares so much about you, he can't have undying love for his girlfriend. It's just something he makes up to make you jealous. ... (read in full...)
Do my intended actions show that I love him more than my family?
Q. Hi I'm 21. I been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and his birthday is on December 10th. It lands on a thursday and we both work so we vacant celebrate. So I wanted to do it on the weekend but my cousin's birthday party but I choose to do pla...
A. 14 November 2015: Yes, but I don't think it's a problem. You are supposed to love your boyfriend more than your cousins. Your mom would think differently because you are all blood related. If your boyfriend wishes to celebrate with your family then you should combine ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to fall out of love and then fall back in?
Q. Is it normal to fall out of love then back in? I've been with a guy for three years and it is almost our fourth year together. Our relationship started out bad because my family didn't like him. I fought to be with him though. Now, I spent time with ...
A. 13 November 2015: When you were a teenager you could fall in love with almost anyone. Now you are older you have more needs than just companionship. You did not fall out of love because of boredom and familiarity. That could be fixed with getting the spark in, ... (read in full...)
How long should a break last?
Q. So my problem is that my boyfriend of 6 years ended our relationship last week. I had noticed he'd been acting a bit strange for a few days, distant and things, but didn't really think much of it until he started ignoring me. It went on all day,...
A. 12 November 2015: There are people who need to take breaks from relationships, like they take vacations form work. More people would find this to be disrespectful than okay. Your friends are getting married, but how long can they keep up being happy when one of them ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with a depressed man who hides our relationship from his ex?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months and I honestly thought he was the love of my life up until he started treating me differently. He was the kindest, gentlest man who would love me dearly every day. Around 6 months ago he started acting s...
A. 9 November 2015: Whenever you meet single dads who's afraid of baby mama's, you can assume that he has not done child support and custody procedures yet. For what reason I don't know. Maybe he has not completely broken ties with her or he's afraid he has no money ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have deal breakers in relationships?
Q. My Boyfriend and I have been together for a year. Recently we talked about deal breakers. Both of us agreed cheating is a deal breaker. Then I told him if he ever took drugs at a party it'd be a deal breaker for me. I did not know he used to do ...
A. 9 November 2015: He sounds like he finds it sad to part with drugs forever. My son is not of age yet but I am ready to say to him if he ever become drunk, or try drugs (including cannabis) then I would disown him. And mothers are supposed to love children ... (read in full...)
I made a mistake, hurt my friend and now I don't know how to make things right!
Q. Hey what's up guys, Kind of messed things up with a friend of mine. She asked me a question last night saying do guys know when girls are wearing too much makeup? And I said I think so, and she proceeded to show me a picture and said do you thin...
A. 8 November 2015: Maybe it's not the type of question like, "do these pants make my butt look big?" Without telling you that picture was hers, you could give an honest opinion without bias. What she didn't expect was the mean comments, as honest as they could be. ... (read in full...)
Would you break up with your boyfriend over taking secret nude photos
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. I always thought we got along great. We have a lot in common. He is always there for me in my time of need. We have been talking about getting married. I needed some pictures off his camera, so...
A. 6 November 2015: There are different levels to voyeurism. Most people have some tendencies but are not severe enough to be considered mental. If it's for a thrill you can probably stop him but if it's a compulsion then you are in trouble. The most severe kinds are ... (read in full...)
After finding out she was so easily intimate with others I'm not sure I want to be with her
Q. Hi I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years (she is 41)and she told me a few days ago that in the 4 years before we met that she had slept with 4 other guys, kissed others (so called 'friends') etc. and it has made me feel sick. I was not ...
A. 6 November 2015: So did she lie about not doing much for 4 years so you would agree to live with her then told you the truth because she felt lying is wrong? It's hard to get the meaning without face to face conversation. There's facial expression and there's ... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to react to her offer, to not date my friend, if I will say I still love her?
Q. Me and my ex girlfriend broke up a month ago. Things didn't end great, she still wanted to stay in contact with me but after she showed up to my father's dinner drunk, I didn't want no part of her anymore. Apart from the 2 times I have seen her ...
A. 6 November 2015: The word love is used in different contexts. 1. You are committed to each other's happiness, now and future. 2. You have nostalgic memories. 3. You simply don't want anyone else to have her. Without number 1, love has no meaning and will never work. ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried? This new relationship is drama-free, but I'm afraid I'll get bored!
Q. I am in a new relationship after having been single for nearly 5 years. My past relationships were very passionate but unstable and co-dependent. I was a needy teenager with a lot of problems, and I was treated badly by a guy I then refused to give ...
A. 5 November 2015: I have always been the calm, "boring" one in the relationship while men told me they were not used to it, without the drama. I still feel there's a honeymoon period in all of my relationships. There's an excitement of seeing each other when dating, ... (read in full...)
Manipulator sister...at my wits end. Please help!
Q. I have a long-winded problem that I need an outside eye to help me figure out how to be on equal and better terms with my sister. The past year has been a rollercoaster of incidents, one after another with her, and I want off. Growing up, we w...
A. 5 November 2015: As an outsider I can still feel the pain and am disturbed by her actions. You wonder where your friendly sister had gone. Her manipulating behavior started last year, out of nowhere. It could be hormonal imbalance, her state of her marriage, her ... (read in full...)
How do I out all the evil without losing my wife?
Q. my problem started last christmas when the guy my wife used to go with moved in next door to her sister, he was her first ever lover when she was 16 and as far as i was concerned he lived in london and had done for 20 odd years this was not the case ...
A. 4 November 2015: Her family went great lengths to cover up the truth so who told who about the abortion, and why 10 years ago? If the truth was about hurting you because you had rows and she wanted to show you she had great power over your emotions? You should talk ... (read in full...)
What options are possible to spice up things with my fiance? Sex has become too predictable.
Q. Hi everyone! I am here looking for some suggestions regarding how to spice things up between me and my fiance. It's been a long time with each other and sex often gets predictable. And at times, he doesn't give much effort to turn me on wel...
A. 4 November 2015: Most husbands, after having married for a while, do not want spice or work harder for sex. They want space. So as long as there's harmony in the house give it to him. There are 365 sex positions inspired by yoga and you can try those. Doesn't mean ... (read in full...)
I know I must move on. We tried FWB after we broke up. How can I get over him?
Q. Essentially we dated a bit a few years ago, but for 2 and 1/2 years he and I were FWB. I cant say for sure but I know we were both in love but too scared to say anything. Also I'm an Asian girl and he is Jewish guy, were both nerdy and lost our...
A. 4 November 2015: The feeling you have does not indicate that you are soulmates. It's the intensity, the unpredictability and the addiction to obtaining his love. I am not sure if he's going to marry a Jew for sure. Who says all the Jewish girls he dates are willing ... (read in full...)
I can’t see myself with anyone else. But I need to move on. What can I do?
Q. Where to start? 40+ years old. Married for 18 years. During my marriage there were a few strings of infidelity. A lot of my family in and out of the house. We took care of a lot of people but never was able to focus on us. I know this a...
A. 4 November 2015: It's time to focus on yourself. You can pamper yourself, do things you were never able to when taking care of family. Go on a solo vacation, or pick your best friend or relative if you don't want to feel lonely. You need to get your groove back. ... (read in full...)
Marriage problems and cheating and now I am torn between two options. How can this be resolved?
Q. I had an affair starting July 2014 got caught Feb 2015 Admitted affair to my husband of 26yrs. We talked and I decided I would move in with other man. But he made me wait until Mar 2015 so it was awful for my husband with me in the home until th...
A. 4 November 2015: You feel you have two options but as I see it you have no choice but to remain with your husband. The other guy wants you to be his mistress until whenever and the argument was a sign that he would not commit further than what you had. Your husband ... (read in full...)
Why can't my husband please me? What is with all the porn?
Q. ok here it goes i need some advice on this please i dont know what to do? I have been with this guy for a long long time and things werent ever that great or so i became to realize. WE never had sex that much and it didnt bother me that much cause i ...
A. 3 November 2015: It's not that if women are beautiful then they automatically get good sex. The man has to be in good shape, mentally and physically and in the right sexual orientation. Many people get married to feel normal. I don't think he went into this with the ... (read in full...)
Aunts I need your help with my boyfriend: at my end we're done but it's not official
Q. Kinda super stuck… So my current boyfriend, if you have read/answered my previous questions your probably twisiting in your seat, and I are back together. We broke up because my best friend let me know that he was cheating, she saw him grinding...
A. 2 November 2015: Just say you haven't been able to forgive his pervious cheating and it's better for you to part ways because the distance make it difficult for either of you to stay interested. He really deserves to be dumped, in whatever way if he was so careless ... (read in full...)
He hasn't visited and I wonder if he's lost interest. How do I talk to him without seeming clingy?
Q. Little bit of back ground: I met this guy online. Our conversations were great and it seemed like we both were looking for same thing, meaning relationship. We went on dates each week for about a month. After about a month I chose a career path that ...
A. 2 November 2015: He doesn't want a long distance relationship but is afraid to say it to you. I, on the other hand, can be quite ruthless about it. I would just tell the guy, no sorry I don't want to travel back and forth.
If I were you I would just say to him,... (read in full...)
She's pushing me away, and I want to fight for our relationship, but I just don't know how! Advice?
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship with a woman that I went to high school prom with. She moved away and after about ten years we met up, hit it off, and fell in love. She has two small boys and an abusive ex that abandoned her during her pregnancy and retu...
A. 2 November 2015: I am not sure if she is entirely honest about this because pushing people away is not loving behavior. After 6 hours of talking and you still feel lost. Are you sure that was not break up conversation and she was just letting you down gently?... (read in full...)
After finding out she was so easily intimate with others I'm not sure I want to be with her
Q. Hi I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years (she is 41)and she told me a few days ago that in the 4 years before we met that she had slept with 4 other guys, kissed others (so called 'friends') etc. and it has made me feel sick. I was not ...
A. 2 November 2015: It depends on the level of commitment you have. She's ready to move in with you, so that's far from not wanting to bother with your place that's 10 miles. I think that shows you how special you are, because she's not bothering with those other guys ... (read in full...)
Never been on a date. Do my looks and personality turn guys off?
Q. Hello. So, lately I've been feeling really anxious about myself. I've never been on a date or a relationship. Although, guys always flirt with me and approach me but they never ask me out or they flirt with me for days then they just act as if ...
A. 2 November 2015: Your mom is great. This flirting and then disappearing behavior happens to feminine, humble girls too, trust me. Flirting is easy but at your age it sometimes leads to nothing. You also expect guys to ask you straight out but the fact is that many ... (read in full...)
She's pushing me away, and I want to fight for our relationship, but I just don't know how! Advice?
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship with a woman that I went to high school prom with. She moved away and after about ten years we met up, hit it off, and fell in love. She has two small boys and an abusive ex that abandoned her during her pregnancy and retu...
A. 2 November 2015: From outsiders' point of view, it is easy to say her ex is abusive, so it should be easy for her to move on and realize how suitable you two are together. She's the one who's deep in this so she may still have feelings for him. She is not ready to ... (read in full...)
I remind him of his mom.. good or bad??
Q. Dear Cupids, I am presently seeing a guy . Its been 3 weeks now. We have a great time , being around each other. We communicate on a broad spectrum of topics. Recently, he has been going through some rough patches and I have been helping him to s...
A. 2 November 2015: As long as he thinks of you in other ways too, such as sexy, charming and not just motherly then it's good. The role of a girlfriend is a combination of lover, nurturer, supporter and best friend. He should be able to show you his sunshine ... (read in full...)
Having sexual thoughts about an older man
Q. Hello aunts I need some advice on what to do about this older guy. I'm 24 and he's 32, now I've never been attracted to older guys. Never! But I keep thinking about him in a sexual way. We're both single but I just want to "sleep" with him because...
A. 2 November 2015: It's impossible to generalize how men fare in bed according to age. If that's true, that 26 year old would get better during 6 years' time and there's no reason to rush, to have that experience right now. Or when you are 32 you want to have a taste ... (read in full...)
Should I confess to cheating? I don't want to lose him, for he's my rock and I love him dearly
Q. I have been with my boyfriend over 2 years and we are completely in love. He means everything to me and he's the kindest, most caring and loyal man I have ever been with. We argue like most couples and one argument we had while I was visiting my ...
A. 1 November 2015: You would think that having ups and downs mean you argue until you drink so much that you can't think straight. Really people don't do that. In healthy relationships arguments don't go over 30 minutes and they are usually resolved before having to ... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend still want her ex boyfriend? She chats to him on whatsapp every day
Q. Hi everyone, I have been dating someone for 6 months now and it's generally going well. My main concern is she has an ex-boyfriend (ex) and they message each other on whatsapp literally everyday. They were friends for a few years before t...
A. 1 November 2015: I would question too, how can someone be best friends with one who cheated. How do people come up with that money to travel, if not being a tourist bum with a big backpack on his bike? I would be more than just concerned, asking whether this is ... (read in full...)
He says he has a flirty personality. Why is he giving me mixed signals? Could it be that he's scared to date?
Q. Bear with me, this is a little long but he's giving mixed signals, Yesterday I had a date with the his guy, he picked me up, bought me coffee, we had a great time and he messaged me later that afternoon and we talked for an hour or so. Today,...
A. 1 November 2015: So you know that the going to hell comment is not a joke. The wrong idea of Christian is to judge people and make people feel lower than them. Just because one joins a certain church and has connections do not make him a better person. Knowing that ... (read in full...)
He says he has a flirty personality. Why is he giving me mixed signals? Could it be that he's scared to date?
Q. Bear with me, this is a little long but he's giving mixed signals, Yesterday I had a date with the his guy, he picked me up, bought me coffee, we had a great time and he messaged me later that afternoon and we talked for an hour or so. Today,...
A. 31 October 2015: Either way, you are not too crazy about him. I don't find his jokes funny. After your comment about him too full of himself he did not back off, but instead wanted to cuddle with you or more. That's like saying if you don't want to be my girlfriend ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to show people that first impressions of a person were wrong?
Q. I recently started dating this girl, she's 20 and has a 4year old son. I ended up making a horrible first and second impression on her parents and I despartely need to redeem myself. Three weeks ago her parents were away when I got a call while I ...
A. 31 October 2015: If you have seen the movie "Father of the Bride" with Steve Martin in it, you will know that even with the most decent boyfriend, the father is going to feel negatively about his little princess being taken away.
You don't sound like an addict or a... (read in full...)
I feel like my Bf is pulling away. He rarely instigates sex now. Am I being needy?
Q. I feel like my boyfriend is pulling away. We've been together just over three years. Had our ups and downs. Just the past few weeks he doesn't really respond to texts and home calls. I mean we live together but he works until after 9 pm then ...
A. 28 October 2015: He doesn't act like he's enthusiastic about marriage and having kids. Maybe he mentioned those things before and now he is apprehensive about it. He doesn't want sex but is afraid to tell you he's not ready to have kids and is embarrassed to admit ... (read in full...)
He wants our son to meet his new girlfriend. But he's imposing restrictions on our son's contact with my boyfriend. How can I move on?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, ive got a question what would you do in this situation. I was with my ex for five years, we had a child together. We got back together but in this time I didn't realise he had met someone else. He had moved away and would...
A. 28 October 2015: Your ex has a double standard. If his girlfriend can see your son then your boyfriend can also see your son. If it's fear of child abuse I understand because most of the child abuse is inflicted by boyfriends and just sometimes girlfriends. If it's ... (read in full...)
I am the parent to my teen brother - our parents are deceased. My brother is now 14. How do I raise and discuss talking about sex and all that to him?
Q. When i was 16 i held my baby brother in my arms and said to dad "god he's small, i'm not baby sitting". Well i think i changed his nappies more times then mum used to. Honestly a few years later when i went off to university my biggest joy coming h...
A. 28 October 2015: I agree with your girlfriend's mother but I also think it's best for him to wash his sheets. I have no penis so I never had to worry about where the sperm lands on. I think the best place for it to be is the toilet. I don't want to see any on a ... (read in full...)
I'm trapped in a passionless relationship
Q. Hi Really in need of some straight forward advice! Been in a relationship with an older man (he is 14 years older) for 8 years now. We have a love for each other but it's far from what I need. We see each other once or twice a week and...
A. 26 October 2015: Twisting his arm to propose is not exactly romantic. A marriage isn't just about a grand wedding, that one day. It's your whole life of interaction. If boring is what he is now, imagine if he has kids and he wants nothing to do with them. Kids need ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of two years has cheated on me with his estranged wife
Q. When I was barely 17, I fell into the trap of an older and more experienced man (Adam), thinking what we had was love. I was young and naive and was fooled by his compliments. No guy had ever taken interest in me before, so I was easily blinded by ...
A. 26 October 2015: Richard is a player and a bad person. He's lying to you and to his wife for two years. He's even worse off than Adam, the one he's trying to protect you from. This is the US, not India. No one would be that stupid to agree to an arranged marriage ... (read in full...)
Should I stop talking to her altogether and if I see her should I ask for any explanation re the bar incident?
Q. Never been in this situation before so I thought I'd ask for the insight of those perhaps more experienced than myself. So, I've been texting this girl I met met at a bar for about a month. So on the 15th we had drinks, made out, etc. So I hit ...
A. 25 October 2015: I think you can act like as if you don't know her either if you see her out. She didn't want her new date to be awkward although She's obviously not looking for anything serious. You might think shoving her tongue in your throat means strong ... (read in full...)
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