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Nearly 5 years together and now he's suddenly voiced reservations. Why?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Long distance, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 August 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 August 2015)
A female India age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 5 years now.

We plan to get married in a year and half. For his work, he had to shift to another city and right now we are in a long distance relationship since last few months.

One thing I am very sure about is that he will never break my trust.

But suddenly since last couple of days he feels he's in this relationship only for sex and doesn't really love me.

He feels confused and keeps telling me that it's not right on his part to be in this relationship just for that.

I know he loves me, we have been together for five years.

Please help, what should I do? How should I make him understand that it's not just sex, what we both have is real? I really love him, more than myself, he's my life. Please help!

View related questions: long distance

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2015):

I think I would be pretty offended if my boyfriend of 5 years had some kind of weird guilt/pity for me because they only liked me for sex (and actually told me that!)

Do you actually want to be with someone like that? Really that's a pretty horrible thing to say to someone you are supposed to love.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (1 August 2015):

janniepeg agony auntYes, olderthandirt is right. You may think a job move is a glorious thing, it shows he is ambitious and is exploring. Having to move is also a sign that in your city it's hard to find jobs. Reality is that many people find themselves in desolate situations after being promised a good amount of pay then realizing what a lie and waste of time it is. They are stuck in the new city and can't afford to go back. Maybe he's not the one failing but the company is.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (1 August 2015):

olderthandirt agony auntIn my humble opinion, It sounds like he is offering you a way out of the relationship. A job relocation is a very traumatic thing. I'd bet he is very concerned about it and doesn't want to fail you or his company(which would imply absolute failure to himself) So, it's possible that he is so intent on not failing you that he's giving you a way out that allows it to be his fault rather than face potential failure in the job move. That would be a sure sign of true love(if true) but it's a possibility. Ask him.

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