A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok , i was due to go on a date yesterday with a guy from a dating site. I have been chatting with him for over 2 months but he cancelled last minute - the time we were supposed to meet. this is the 2nd time he has cancelled on me. I'm finding this extremely suspicious, the 1st time he said his dad was ill now this time his niece was hit by a car and he was in hospital with her along with the girls dad. Do i tell him no, because of lies and being led on, or give him another chance? Everything he has said and shown has been genuine up until this 'accident' but why wait to cancel on me at the time we were supposed to meet?In the back of my head im thinking is he the real deal? (chance you take with it being online) I know if i give him another chance it will be on my terms due to his previous behavior, i dont think its wrong for me to tell him i will bring a friend and he can too, so if i was at the receiving end of a nasty joke i wont be left standing alone. Am i wrong to give him another chance or should I move on ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2015): Hi- yep I would agree not to commit to not dating others until u meet and then both decide.
maybe let him make arrangements for the third date- see how committed he is to meeting. If he doesn't arrange it in a reasonable to frame I'd be thinking to move on.....But I'm an optimist and you never know!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2015): I would give them once more chance to sort out a date, just in case they are telling you in truth. (It's possible of course- but I say 'in case' because I am very skeptical and find it hard to believe) How unlucky is this dude?! 9 times out of 10 in my experience it is what you think it is, if you get what I mean!
No harm in seeing if a third date commences though - stranger things have happened. I would still be dating other people though as well, don't hang around for this guy.You snooze you loose.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (2 August 2015):
 I would suggest you plan a "Skype date" - which a video "conference" so to speak - you can see him and he can see you. If he indeed have 3 member of his family down due to accidents/illness you two can "meet" on Skype and chat, then make plans for a first real date when his family is in less dire circumstances.
If he "can't" Skype (or facetime) - I'd start considering that he is either a "catfish" (a cat fish is someone who created a fake online profile, only to get caught up in the fantasy, but doesn't tell the other person the truth) or he has some kind of issues and doesn't REALLY want to met you, he just wants the attention and someone to flirt/chat with.
Skype is FREE to download and use.
Why would anyone pull a nasty joke on you? It makes no sense - I know some people find "pranks" hilarious, but I don't think they would spend 2 months chatting you up to pull it off.
If he wants to met in person, suggest a coffee shop/pub and DO bring a friend but have the friend sit at another table. If ISSUES arise you get up, go to the bathroom and text the friend. Pretty simple. They don't NEED to sit and hold your hand.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 August 2015):
 It's not that dates never work out if you do online. I never take chatters seriously. If it takes them too long to meet it means the guy has some kind of problem. Too ugly, too broke, too shy or something that he has to hide from public. Chatting is easy, but two months of it means there is some kind of dedication. A player would have no interest in just talking. They want some action then disappear. This guy is just a talker with no action.
A dad being ill then a niece in a car accident within a month is not impossible. It's the fact that he's using these as reasons and not being able to meet you at another time that makes it suspicious. If it's true he should be able to share more about it, such as how dad is doing now and details about the car accident.
I don't think he's on a dating site to play a joke on an innocent woman. I am guessing he has some social impairment that makes it hard for him to meet women face to face.
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