A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfreind talks dirty to me whenever i give him a blow job and its making me feel cheap. i dont mind it sometimes in bed, it can be hot, but he does it nonstop when im giving him oral sex. he says stuff like do you love my big co*k, and suck me harder, and take it all in your mouth, every single time i do it. sometimes i would like it just to be more romantic and nice and without that talk, i dont mind it sometimes, but all the time is just making me feel degraded, im starting to not enjoy the experience now. how can i tell him how i feel about it? i dont want to upset him
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blow-job, cheap, oral sex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, muffy +, writes (26 November 2007):
 sometimes guys are just stupid and say stuff because they are enjoying it.dont feel cheap just have fun.i hope i helpedlove and kisses
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): thank you taste of india, that helped alot. its not a simple matter of it bothering me sometimes more than others, its that the things he says during oral make me feel cheap like im in a seedy porn flick. i dont mind it when we are both participating in bed, but when im doing that act, it makes me feel uncomfortable. i just didnt know how to approach him without upsetting him. im going to take indias advice, thank you all for your input
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A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (24 November 2007):
 It sounds like your boyfriend has seen a few too many porns.Just tell him to use it in moderation, ANY guy should know better than to give his girlfriend (or any girl with the exception of a whore) a constant onslaught of "take it all in your mouth".Personally I'd feel like a bit of a greasebag if that was all I said to a chick in the bedroom.
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (24 November 2007):
 make a deal with him. Tell him to do it when you (better when you) wish it. There is no degrading issue here dont worry on the other hand.
As for the deal I am pretty sure he will agree. He will know it is best to do these things when the woman so desires...
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (24 November 2007):
 Firstly, he is not going to understand, as you are turned on by it sometimes, and not other times. Which means, if the context is changed, you are good with it. Thus it is your problem not his.
Next, if it is the issue of him talking ALL THE TIME, and not the subject matter, then simply tell him that. That is different than having an issue with dirty talk.
You can either accomdate his sexuality or choose not to. However, if this is what works to get him off, and you do not address it, there is a higher chance he would seek it elsewhere.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (24 November 2007):
 Sweetness, I think all you have to do is tell him that you don't like the dirty talk all the time. Tell him that in the bedroom it's okay, but during oral sex sometimes you don't want to feel dirty, you want to feel romantic.
I think he'll understand. It's a good compromise - sometimes dirty, sometimes not. If he doesn't understand, he's a jerk.
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, love-him  +, writes (24 November 2007):
 Hi, it is a turn on to some women, and not to others. If you dislike it so much then tell him. I believe he is just having a good time :) I hope i helped, feel free to mail me about anything x
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (24 November 2007):
 He's enjoying what you're doing to him. It's part of the fantasy and it doesn't make you cheap either. If I was giving my wife that much pleasure I'd take it as a compliment. It's only bad if you believe what he's saying or, if he believes it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): Tell him to stop because it turns you off. And if he does it, stop what you're doing immediately. He'll learn. You have to train him now.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (24 November 2007):
 Some are turned on by dirty bedroom talk.
However, some do not.
When one likes it and the other does not, then it may cause problems such as in your case.
What you need to do is to talk to him about it.
Being a guy and having been one for many years myself I can say with reasonable certainty that he will not look at you as if you suddenly grew a third eye right in the middle of your forehead.
If he cares anything about your feelings he will be sensitive to your feelings.
If he has trouble understanding why you feel this way, you can explain it to him and perhaps even come to some sort of a compromise.
If he is doing it because he thinks you like it, problem solved. He can stop altogether.
If he likes it because it turns him on maybe you can tolerate it half the time.
Sex is supposed to be an enjoyable thing for the both of you so you both need to do what you can to accomodate the other. The thing is, don't let it all become one sided because then it becomes enjoyable for one while becoming only a chore for the other. I hope this helps. Doc
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): Sounds like he has been watching too many porn movies and is talking to you as if you are in one.
Im sure if you tell him that it puts you off then he will stop. Like you said, sometimes its great to talk dirty but he needs to learn when thats appropriate.
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