I have a fear that if we have sex it will be the end of our relationship
Q. I have just started seeing this guy and things are going well. We have met a few times now and the dates have been going out for dinner, a walk along the beach and the last one was he made me dinner at his. Physically, things have happened but...
A. 1 August 2017: Don't have sex until you're ready! AND -- don't have dates in compromising places, meaning don't go over to his house or have him over to yours. Keep the lights on wherever you go, and keep the talking subjects AWAY from sexuality!
You just sta... (read in full...)
His friend is trying to get my b/f to break up with me and date someone else. He thinks I'm unreasonable because I ask him not to talk to her
Q. Going to cut a long story short... Me and my partner broke up because he thought he liked someone else so I ended things. Me leaving made him realise he wanted me and after some time I decided to give him a chance to redeem himself. However...
A. 1 August 2017: So, you broke up with him because he was interested in another girl? How did you find that out?
So, he realized that he wanted to stay with you, so you got back together with him. You say "give him a chance to redeem himself". What was his crim... (read in full...)
He changed his mind about getting married so who keeps the ring?
Q. A few weeks ago my ex fiancé basically told me that he didn't want to get married then he told me he was no longer in love with me. Then a few weeks later he basically tells me I'm in love with you but your not my soulmate. I was annoyed and I do...
A. 31 July 2017: I wish that were true, Chigirl, but I read both the letter of the actual law, plus legal challenges to it and their outcomes. But it's also clear that he can be the initiator of the breakup and still be entitled to the ring, UNLESS he was the ... (read in full...)
Is a man considered promiscuous for having 15 sexual partners?
Q. Is having 12-15 women as sexual partners considered promiscuous for the average man? Would that many partners be a deal breaker for you? ...
A. 31 July 2017: Before addressing the OP, I feel nerdy correcting a Bible trivia, but Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Yes, I know it's about as unimportant as whether or not the Millenium Falcon made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, but humor ... (read in full...)
Is a man considered promiscuous for having 15 sexual partners?
Q. Is having 12-15 women as sexual partners considered promiscuous for the average man? Would that many partners be a deal breaker for you? ...
A. 30 July 2017: It has more to do with matching values and principles on sexuality and less to do with a hardline number.
For example -- to a woman who has slept with 50 men in her sexual history, a man who has had 15 sexual partners is not promiscuous at all, ... (read in full...)
He changed his mind about getting married so who keeps the ring?
Q. A few weeks ago my ex fiancé basically told me that he didn't want to get married then he told me he was no longer in love with me. Then a few weeks later he basically tells me I'm in love with you but your not my soulmate. I was annoyed and I do...
A. 30 July 2017: First of all, I'm no lawyer, so verify what I'm saying with a lawyer in your state.
I did some research for your state (I won't disclose what your state is) regarding the current law dealing with engagement rings, and I'll list what your law is f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend masterbated to porn next to me while I was sleeping
Q. Hello, so I woke up next to my boyfriend yesterday and noticed porn in his history, I was confused so I asked him why he had porn in his history and he said he fapped last night. I asked him if he did it right next to me and he said yes!!!! Is it ...
A. 29 July 2017: Uhh, how did you "notice" porn being in his history?? What were you doing snooping on his phone?? I find it weirder that you would wake up next to him in bed, and the first thing you'd do is grab his phone and start rifling through it LOOKING for ... (read in full...)
My ex military boyfriend got right in my face and yelled at me. Is it normal for military men to act this way toward civilians?
Q. My exmilitary boyfriend got the idea in his head that I was seeing someone else for sex and he had a meltdown. He shouted in my face like a military seargant and I started pushing him off me and then I asked someone to throw him out! The question...
A. 29 July 2017: That's got nothing to do with whether or not he was in the military. Jealousy knows no military service, gender, or preference. He got in your face because he was jealous and because he wanted to intimidate YOU.
I'm guessing you felt a "militar... (read in full...)
Married man who I was having an affair with refuses to leave me alone
Q. Hello, Aunts! I've had an affair with a married man for over a year now. At first, I was swept off my feet by this man, whom I later found out was married. However, I stayed as he narrated the stories of his failing marriage and his impending di...
A. 26 July 2017: You give him a final warning, and then you tell his wife. You didn't know he was married at first, and that's on him. It's the best and healthiest thing for you to get away from him, as the relationship isn't a healthy one. He's coming after you ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with her angry outbursts
Q. My girlfriend seems to have a lot of repressed aggression. Every now and then it bubbles over. It can manifest in swearing, I mean real atypical cursing, and sometimes taking things out on inanimate objects like her sat nav being thrown across the ...
A. 26 July 2017: Actually, if she's throwing property, her anger *is* at a stage to require counseling. Anger issues are a lot like illness. It progresses if it's left untreated, and like cancer, getting it at an advanced stage means that there's irreparable ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I both have anger issues but should I forgive him?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together a year and we were going very strong, and madly in love. Only recently has our relationship deteriorated. First off I have trust issues, have done for many years after awful relationships before. At the star...
A. 26 July 2017: You're the one who is battering him, but you're asking if *HE* can be forgiven?? I'm sorry, but if the genders were reversed, and his response to you telling him to STFU is to slap the taste out of your mouth, why the HELL would the SLAP-EE need ... (read in full...)
Sex for the first time--how do I feel more brave?
Q. I'm going to have sex with my gf for the first time , I need help on how to feel more confortable about my self and how to be more brave....
A. 24 July 2017: Focus on her in your thoughts and actions, and you won't have time to worry about your "Performance".
What makes her feel good? What have you done that you know she's liked? How far have you two gone in the past?
One thing to keep in mind her... (read in full...)
Is this guy lying about his wifey situation?
Q. I met a guy online and started seeing him. Before I started seeing him he took down his profile as he said he found it demoralising. He told me he was separated, had been for 9 yrs. said he hadn't divorced because he wife had gotten a boyfrie...
A. 23 July 2017: He's not divorced because he doesn't WANT to be divorced.
He's hoping that his wife will come back to him, which is why he keeps himself available by staying married to her. Not only that, but he's running the clock out on property division... (read in full...)
Why do men think its alright to comment on a woman's nether regions?
Q. This is probably more of a rant than anything, but what is up with some men thinking it's ok to comment on the look of a woman's vagina/vulva?! Whether it's not neat enough, 'beef curtains', too hairy, it 'looks loose'... the list goes on! My m...
A. 22 July 2017: Well, I'd say that in your case, it's because you're choosing the wrong men to be with, because the vast majority of men are just happy to have access to a vagina, and society still considers negative discussion of one to be inappropriate.
Marti... (read in full...)
Husband wants sex and a baby but he's searching online for partners
Q. Everyday I feel more and more sick. My husband always asks for sex but I don't want it, he wants a child but I don't, not even an adopted child, but he insists, and now he's trying to turn me on but I say no. The real problem is he's searching o...
A. 22 July 2017: Usually I see this played the other way, where the wife wants kids but the husband doesn't. In this case, you're the spouse who doesn't want kids, and boy is he putting WAY too much pressure on you to do so.
The problem with your approach... (read in full...)
8 years of trust,broken! Can we make it back?
Q. Hi all thanks for your help first of all I have a horrible problem I need help with. Sorry about the lengh. I went on a holiday with 4 of my friends one of them is my boyfriends brothers girlfriend Side note: I've been with my bf 8 years been ...
A. 19 July 2017: Thanks for the follow-up, OP!
You don't look guilty by refusing a polygraph. Your boyfriend wouldn't be satisfied even with the results of it, and once you're on the PG, it most likely will be abused, and "loaded" questions will be asked of you s... (read in full...)
How do I help my boyfriend sort himself out?
Q. My boyfriend had a really bad relationship with this girl before me and left him with some mental scars and we were totally fine until he got drunk and texted some random girl stupid stuff but they weren't that bad. Now he's apologised loads and I ...
A. 19 July 2017: HOLD THE PRESSES! I was going to type some logical advice to you about cheating, depression, and past girlfriends, but I just saw your AGE!
I don't know which country you hail, but the UK drinking age is 18 and the US drinking age is 21! If this... (read in full...)
I can't deal with his passive aggressive behavior when I don't want sex
Q. I met a guy, who is now my boyfriend, 3 months ago. He has made it clear he is really into me. I wasn't sure if I was atttacted to him enough, but he was lovely to me and we had a lot in common, so I went with it. I was very happy to fiND we worked ...
A. 18 July 2017: Uhhh, yeah. People who act like this turn out to be bunny boilers. I would have had it out with him, hangover and all, when he "Jested" about the boner thing.
This guy is possessive and controlling, and after 3 months, his true colors are star... (read in full...)
8 years of trust,broken! Can we make it back?
Q. Hi all thanks for your help first of all I have a horrible problem I need help with. Sorry about the lengh. I went on a holiday with 4 of my friends one of them is my boyfriends brothers girlfriend Side note: I've been with my bf 8 years been ...
A. 18 July 2017: You said this:
"What I want to say to him is I'll do your your shitty lie detector and then we're over"
Actually, I'd skip the first part of that and say "We're over". YOU didn't break his trust. It's not an admission of guilt to NOT han... (read in full...)
I almost cheated with this married woman. Do I tell her husband what she does?
Q. Mostly as a result of feeling sexually neglected by my wife, who is unwilling to understand there's a problem, I was recently tempted to cheat on her with another married woman. Now, I need to be clear- there was no sex, but the temptation was t...
A. 15 July 2017: I think this issue isn't between you and this cheater woman. It's between you and your wife, and you've already cheated on her. Before you go thinking you "came to your senses", I'll tell you that what you did would already be unforgivable in many ... (read in full...)
She still seems to want me. What do I do?
Q. Hello, I was in a relationship for ten years with a woman we will call Sally (not her real name). It was rocky from the start but we stuck together although we never lived together. She stood by me through a lot of personal trials and family d...
A. 13 July 2017: What struck me about this post of yours is that nothing you have talked about even comes close to what real love is. You emotionally abused her while you were with her. You and she terminated her pregnancy, and instead, you had an emotional affair ... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend doesn't make me feel beautiful
Q. My boyfriend doesn't ever make me feel beautiful. He will always say to me 'you look nice' but I can tell he is just saying that without any true feeling. I would say I am an attractive girl and tend to get a lot of male attention and fe...
A. 12 July 2017: Nobody can "make" you feel anything you don't want to feel. You either feel beautiful inside and out, or you don't. Your self esteem should not and should never hinge on someone's appraisal of you. If he were the type to nitpick and call you ... (read in full...)
The love of my life just shamed my dressing style and said that I embarrassed him
Q. The man I thought was the love of my life just informed me that when I visited him in his home town I embarrassed him because of my outfit because, he says , it was way too short I feel totally embarrassed . I'm in my 40s and somewhat chubby ...
A. 12 July 2017: Ahhh, this one is easy to point out.
The guy knows how you dress. He knows your fashion sense. He knows who you are and how you present yourself. He started seeing you based on this as well as other things.
Unfortunately, the change in ho... (read in full...)
I want him back but I don't think my family and friends will like it
Q. I had been in a relationship for almost 6 years (engaged to be married) and my fiancé informed me almost a month ago he likes another woman. After plenty of time I decided one night to leave him and moved everything out and back to my parents ho...
A. 12 July 2017: You wouldn't be a fool because of the disapproval of your parents and friends, though it would be well earned disapproval.
You'd be a fool to return to the guy because you made the right decision to begin with, and now you're craving 6 years wo... (read in full...)
Husband has cheated in the past, is he cheating again?
Q. My husband had cheated on me in the past for 3yrs straight before he told me even though I had asked and knew (feeling) it was going on, we worked through it and he promises it will never happen again, etc I've recently found various strands of hair ...
A. 11 July 2017: Well, your cue is here, in your words:
"I asked him about it and he became outraged..."
His reaction tells you all you need to know, and unfortunately, it does not look good for you.
A guy who has been caught cheating, whose wife had... (read in full...)
My friend seems keen for me to have sex with his wife
Q. I am single guy....... A friend of mine and his wife who I have both known for years,went over my apartment last night, after drinking at a local bar,and we ended up having a threesome, after he encouraged her... afterwards it was a little...
A. 9 July 2017: I see serious landmines here as well. While I'm not going to call you a rapist, and you've already done it once and they're open to having a repeat performance, let me "pros and cons" this for you:
PRO:
It's taboo, risky, and thrilling. This... (read in full...)
I work while my husband stays home, he goes on vacation but I cant!
Q. A little over a year ago my husband left hos job because it was too stressful and demanding and became a househusband. I own our house, so no mortgage and extra espenses, and although our lifestyle has changed a bit- meaning that we try and save ...
A. 8 July 2017: Do you have kids?? His becoming a "House husband" is just fine if he's actually BEING a house husband. As every wife and mother and house-husband knows, that is a job!! Taking care of the kids, cooking all of the meals, doing the housecleaning ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of my mother to suggest these things because I'm not married and I don't have children?
Q. My mother tells me that because I am single and without kids I don't understand her nor my siblings who are married. There's been many times when according to her I'm at fault. I just feel that is wrong for her to tell me this. If I'm not mar...
A. 7 July 2017: Caring Aunty A - Sorry, but did you just say that the kid was BELTED for not eating breakfast??? I would have been calling the POLICE if some kid was getting whipped for not eating breakfast. In that case, it wouldn't have mattered about being or ... (read in full...)
Does it hurt a guy when he loses his virginity?
Q. ok something has been bothering me or annoying me for some time now my friend was asking me when guys loose the viginity does it hurt please tell me ...
A. 6 July 2017: My husband lost his virginity to me. He was extremely nervous and more worried that he would be awful in bed than any sort of pain. We used a lot of K-Y and made sure that lubricant flowed freely for both of us.
I asked him if it hurt him, and... (read in full...)
He's asking about people I've slept within the past 2 years!
Q. I've recently got into a relationship with a guy i've been seeing on and off for a long time. We've only been together a couple of months officially but he's began to ask about people i've slept with over the past two years. He's quite insecure as ...
A. 6 July 2017: I definitely agree with Honeypie on all counts!
Never give a boyfriend a detailed play-by-play of your past sexual history. He isn't owed it, and like she said, as long as your STI history is 100% clean, and you have no children with any past lia... (read in full...)
Do men lose out on any pleasure by using condoms?
Q. Hi Aunts. I've met this amazing guy and we have been chatting for a while, he is going at a slow pace with me :)he is kind, understanding and says he is very much in love with me, I feel the same. I can trust him and I think he's perfect for me ...
A. 5 July 2017: I won't lie. Guys lose a lot of pleasure in wearing a condom. I personally lose pleasure when a guy wears one too, as it's like having sex with a rubber glove! But, it's the responsible thing to do to protect against STI, and if no other ... (read in full...)
Why is everyone sceptical about a 'friends with benefits' arrangement?
Q. So a while back me and my friend had sex a couple of times. We actually live in a shared house with other people, although they don't know that anything happened between us. We had known each other for about a year before this happened, and had ...
A. 5 July 2017: I agree with Anonymous123 here.
I also want to point out something you said near the end of your post:
"The problem is, nobody believes me when I say that I don't have feelings for her and they keep trying to tell me that there must be 's... (read in full...)
She says he wants to groom me. What is that?
Q. What does it mean when a man is grooming a women? What is it he is grooming her for? Is this a form of manipulation if so then why? I was seeing n (and) (sic) talking lots to with a guy a really like and I left cause he beat his ex' others say. ...
A. 5 July 2017: OHHH, the post was "cleaned up".
In this case, if you left him because you heard he was a domestic abuser, her opinion was that he was GROOMING you to be a doormat and live with his abuse and beating. Her opinion is that he systemat... (read in full...)
Trivial Fights getting out of control
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We have had our ups and downs. When it is good it is REALLY good. The passion is high. We share a lot and are similar in many ways. But we have had our share of down-at-the mouth fights. Somehow we ...
A. 5 July 2017: I'm not so ready to jump all over this guy and render you blameless, OP. We'll start with the obvious part which spun this fight out of control, and that is YOU putting your hands on him and hitting him. It doesn't matter whether it's on the arm ... (read in full...)
She says he wants to groom me. What is that?
Q. What does it mean when a man is grooming a women? What is it he is grooming her for? Is this a form of manipulation if so then why? I was seeing n (and) (sic) talking lots to with a guy a really like and I left cause he beat his ex' others say. ...
A. 4 July 2017: Grooming someone is to get them ready for something.
It can be innocuous or healthy, such as grooming a junior officer to command a ship or a base, or grooming a Lt. Governor to take over as Governor.
It's tough to see what he wants to groom y... (read in full...)
How do I comfort a friend who learned he has herpes?
Q. One of my really close friends got genital herpes and I'm so in shock. He and I have had an on and off fling for a while, but never even kissed cause he's super all over the place. He's practically in love with me, I guess, but anyways that's ...
A. 3 July 2017: Well, first of all, herpes isn't a terminal illness, so both of you need to chill and put this into perspective. He called you while plastered to the gills, so he was freaking out and not thinking clearly about his future.
You can comfort ... (read in full...)
She strung me along to cancel three times ...
Q. Hello everyone, so about 2 years ago I was in a short film with an actress and we hit it off really well, great chemistry. There was a kissing scene but it wasn't awkward at all. She even suggested "practice kissing" during rehearsal. However, ...
A. 3 July 2017: I say leave her be. She's not treating you very well, and any contact should be initiated by her next. There are other fish in the sea who will treat you far better than this actress.... (read in full...)
How do I resolve joint finance problem
Q. I've been dating my guy for about 3 months. He works a decent job maybe makes 60K a year but has been paying off a few things as of late. Loans etc. Still I have too and he makes way more then me. He had a lame living situation when we met and ...
A. 3 July 2017: You're not responsible for what he pays in transportation! By his 30's, if he doesn't know how to make budgetary decisions, then you've got a host of problems when it comes to him.
I'm glad you confirmed the dependency issues as well. Those do... (read in full...)
I am still breast feeding my school aged child
Q. I do not see a problem with this however I wondered what the general consensus would be .... I am breastfeeding an almost 7 year old? I am quite out spoken about breastfeeding but a side from close family and friends, no one knows that we are still ...
A. 2 July 2017: I'll just say it! 7 years old is way too long. I believe that breastfeeding is for babies, not children halfway to puberty. It's one thing if they're toddlers, like 2-3 years old, especially if they were born premature and are catching up ... (read in full...)
He groped me without permission during our first kiss!
Q. I'm 15 and I went hiking yesterday with my friend (he lives in another state, but he used to live in the state that I live in so we haven't seen each other in a while so we've been flirting over FaceTime and such) and I was tired so I needed to sit ...
A. 2 July 2017: Forgot to say...one more thing:
Just because he traveled to see you doesn't entitle him to get sex from you or anything! Do NOT let him pressure you for sex! Do not think that you HAVE to let him stick his tongue down your throat, or have his... (read in full...)
He groped me without permission during our first kiss!
Q. I'm 15 and I went hiking yesterday with my friend (he lives in another state, but he used to live in the state that I live in so we haven't seen each other in a while so we've been flirting over FaceTime and such) and I was tired so I needed to sit ...
A. 2 July 2017: You should not let him kiss or touch you unless he respects your wishes. You haven't met him until now, and he's already groping and fondling breasts?? Not cool!
How did you meet him?? How old IS he?? Is he over 18?? He lives in another ... (read in full...)
How do I resolve joint finance problem
Q. I've been dating my guy for about 3 months. He works a decent job maybe makes 60K a year but has been paying off a few things as of late. Loans etc. Still I have too and he makes way more then me. He had a lame living situation when we met and ...
A. 2 July 2017: I agree with Youcannotbeserious on this one. He's a user, AND he does things with strings attached, which is a bad way to start a relationship.
You'd been together for only a month and a half and he's already semi-living with you, consumin... (read in full...)
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